I  1,1  I!  If  '  »'r'*V«'l'i 


'rVfV.'  '/"  '^  • 


»^»  »  »  »  »  »  »■» 

Please 

handle  this  volume 

with  care. 

The  University  of  Connecticut 
Libraries,  Storrs 

^^  »  »^  »  »  »  »  » 


>* 


00 


3    9153    00229591     5 


Digitized  by  the  Internet  Archive 

in  2009  with  funding  from 

Boston  Library  Consortium  IVIember  Libraries 


http://www.archive.org/details/vicissitudesinwiOOdowp 


^^:i>-,^^i^^^.^^   Ijy^ 


PLEASE  NOTE 


It  has  been  necessary  to  replace  some  of  the  original 
pages  in  this  book  with  photocopy  reproductions 
because  of  damage  or  mistreatment  by  a  previous  user. 

Replacement  of  damaged  materials  is  both  expensive 
and  time-consuming.  Please  handle  this  volume  with 
care  so  that  information  will  not  be  lost  to  future  readers. 

Thank  you  for  helping  to  preserve  the  University's 
research  collections. 


VICISSITUDES 

IN   THE 

WILiDERNESS; 

EXEMPLIFIED, 

IN   THE 

JOURNAL  OF 

PEGGY  DOW. 

TO  WHICa  IS  ADDED, 
AN  APPENDIX  OF  HER  DEATH, 


AND    ALSO, 


REFLECTIONS  ON  MATRIMONY, 

BY  LCtelENZO  DOW. 


A  virtuous  woman  is  a  crown  to  her  husband  :  but  she  that  maketh 
ashamed  is  as  rottenness  in  his  bones, — Prov.  xii.  4. 
Who  can  find  a  virtuous  woman  7  for  her  price  is  far  above  rubies. 

The  heart  of  her  husband  doth  safely  trust  in  her,  so  that  he  shall 
have  no  need  of  spoil. 

She  will  do  him  good,  and  not  evil,  all  the  days  of  her  life.— Phov. 
xxxi.  10,  11,  12. 


FIFTH  EDITION. 

aaor^tcli,  Qtmn. 

PRINTED  BY  WILLIAM  FAULKNER. 


1833. 


I  S"3  0  t- 


VICISSITUDES,  Slc. 


I  WAS  born  in  the  year  1780,  in  Granville,  Massachu= 
setts;  of  parents  that  were  strangers  to  God;  although 
my  father  was  a  member  of  the  church  of  England ; 
and  my  mother  had  been  raised  by  pious  parents  of  the 
Presbyterian  order.  But,  whether  she  had  any  sense  of 
the  necessity  of  the  new  birth  and  holiness  of  heart  I 
cannot  say  ;  for  she  was  called  to  a  world  of  spirits 
when  I  was  but  five  months  old ;  leaving  behind  six 
children,  two  sons  and  four  daughters.  My  eldest  sister 
being  about  fifteen  years  old — my  father  married  in  about 
six  months  after  the  death  of  my  mother ;  and  although 
the  woman  that  he  married  was  an  industrious  good  house 
wife,  yet  he  lost  his  property,  and  was  reduced  very  low, 
by  the  sinking  of  continental  money  ;  and  the  children 
were  scattered  as  a  consequence.  My  eldest  sister  mar- 
ried when  I  was  six  years  old — and  she  prevailed  on  my 
father  to  give  me  to  her,  w^hich  accordingly  he  did_:  and 
I  was  carried  into  the  State  of  New  York,  and  saw  his 
face  no  more  !* 

My  tender  heart  was  often  wrought  upon  by  the  Spirit 
of  God — and  I  was  at  times  very  unhappy,  for  fear  I 
should  die,  and  what  would  become  of  my  soul !  I  was 
early  taught  that  there  was  a  God,  a  heaven  and  hell ; 
and  that  there  was  a  preparation  necessary  to  fit  me  for 
those  mansions  of  rest,  prepared  for  all  that  are  faithful 
until  death  !  My  heart  often  mourned  before  God,  young 
as  I  was,  for  something,  I  scarce  knew  what,  to  make  me 
happy  !     I  dared  not  to  sleep  without  praying  to  God,  as 


*  The  summer  past,  in  my  journey  to  the  east,  I  met  with  a  half 
brother,  whom  1  had  not  seen  for  twenty-seven  years— and  with 
whom  my  father  died :  and  also  was  at  one  of  my  sisters,  whom  I 
had  not  seen  but  once  for  tv/enty  years.  She  being'  nine  or  ten 
years  older  than  mypelf,  was  able  to  inform  me  of  some  particulars 
fioncerning  my  mother's  death,  which  wer^  a  consolation  to  me. 


4  VICISSITUDES  IN 

well  as  I  knew  how,  for  many  years.  My  sister's  husband 
being  a  man  not  calculated  to  gain  the  World,  although 
they  had  no  children,  I  was  raised  to  labour  as  much 
as  my  strength  would  permit;  and  perhaps  more,  as  my 
constitution  was  veiy  delicate,  from  my  birth.  But  the 
Lord  was  my  helper,  though  I  knew  him  not  by  an 
experimental  knowledge — yet  I  had  a  fear  of  him  before 
my  eyes  !  And  he  that  taketh  care  of  the  young  ravens 
cared  for  me.  From  the  time  that  I  was  six  years  of  age 
until  I  was  eleven,  my  serious  impressions  never  left 
me ;  but  from  twelve  to  fifteen  I  was  mixing  with  those 
that  were  unacquainted  with  God,  or  the  things  that  per- 
tain to  the  kingdom  of  heaven.  My  mind  was  taken  up 
with  the  vanities  of  this  present  world,  although  my 
heart  was  often  tender  under  the,  preaching  of  the  gospel, 
so  that  I  could  weep  and  mourn ;  yet  I  did  not  seek  the 
Lord  in  earnest  to  the  saving  of  my  soul.  At  the  age 
of  fifteen,  the  Lord  laid  his  rod  upon  me  in  taking  away 
my  health,  which  was  not  restored  until  I  was  seven* 
teen.  In  that  time  I  was  much  afraid  I  should  be  called 
to  pass  the  dark  valley — but  the  Lord  was  pleased  to 
restore  me  to  health  again  in  a  good  degree ;  and  at 
the  age  of  nineteen,  I  set  out  to  seek  my  soul's  salva- 
tion, through  many  trials  and  difficulties  !  The  Metho- 
dists^ preaching  and  zeal  were  new  in  that  part  of  the 
country  where  I  lived  at  that  time ;  and  my  sister's 
husband  was  very  much  opposed  to  them,  so  that  it 
made  my  way  very  trying ;  but  I  was  determined,  come 
what  might,  that  I  would  take  up  my  cross,  and  follow 
Jesus  in  the  way — I  was  willing,  and  gave  up  all  my 
young  companions,  and  all  the  diversions  of  which  I  had 
been  very  fond — such  as  dancing,  and  company  that 
feared  not  God;  and  the  Lord,  who  giveih  liberally, 
and  upbraideth  not,  gave  me  peace  and  consolation  in 
him.  My  sister  and  myself  joined  the  first  Society^  that 
was  raised  in  that  part  of  the  country,  at  a  neighbour- 
hood called  Fish  Creek,  about  four  miles  from  where 
we  lived ;  where  we  attended  preaching  and  class-meet- 
ing once  every  week — And  the  Lord  was  very  precious 
to  my  sold  in  those  days. 

About  that   time,  my  brother-in-law  was   brought  to 
see  himself  a  sinner,   and   embraced  religion;  and  we 


THE  WILDERNESS,  9 

were  a  happy  family,  although  but  three  in .  number. 
We  often  felt  like  heaven  begun  below,  Jesus  precious 
to  our  souls !  The  preachers  made  our  house  their 
home,  at  that  time,  and  it  was  my  delight  to  wait 
on  them.  I  felt  as  if  I  could  lie  at  their  feet,  and 
learn  instruction  from  their  lips.  My  chief  delight  was. 
in  going  to  meeting,  and  praising  and  singing  praises 
to  my  God  and  Saviour.  We  had  preaching  once  in 
two  weeks  in  our  neighbourhood,  but  few  attended  for 
nearly  two  years ;  yet  the  preachers  continued  to  preach, 
and  that  in  faith,  and  the  Lord  heard  and  gave  them 
their  hearts'  desire  !  They  formed  a  little  class,  consist- 
ing only  of  seven ;  my  brother  and  sister,  two  other  men 
and  their  wives,  and  myself,  composed  the  society  in  the 
place  where  I  lived.  We  had  class-meeting  and  prayer- 
meeting  every  week  at  the  beginning ;  and  it  was  but  a 
few  months  before  the  Lord  burst  the  cloud,  and  the 
work  broke  out,  and  sixty  or  seventy  were  added  to  the 
number.  We  had  precious  times  of  the  out-pouring  of 
the  Spirit  of  God  !  If  we  met  only  for  prayer-meeting, 
oftentimes  our  meetmgs  would  last  until  twelve  ana 
one  o'clock,  and  souls  would  be  so  filled  with  divine 
love,  that  they  would  fall  prostrate  on  the  floor,  and 
praise  Christ  their  King  !  So  we  continued  to  love  like 
children  of  one  family,  for  two  or  three  years ;  when 
some  difficulties  took  place ;  however,  none  were  turned 
out  of  society.  O  !  how  sweet  it  is  for  brethren  to  dwell 
together  in  unity — but  how  often  doth  the  enemy  of 
mankind  make  use  of  that  most  destructive  weapon, 
DIVISION  !  to  destroy  the  souls  of  the  fallen  race  of 
Adam  ! — O  that  Christians  would  make  a  stand  against 
him ;  and  live  and  love  like  children  of  one  family  ! — 
that  the  world  might  say — "  See  how  these  Christians 
love  one  a^iother." 

After  this,  I  lived  in  love  and  union  with  my  brethren 
for  two  years  or  more ;  and  enjoyed  the  privilege  of 
preaching  and  class-meetings,  and  had  many  precious 
seasons  to  my  soul ! 

About  this  time,  "  Camp-Meetings^^  began  to  be  intro- 
duced into  that  part  of  the  country ;  and  was  attended 
with  the  power  of  God,  in  the  conversion  of  many  pre- 
cious souls  I 

I* 


I 


«  VICISSITUDES  IN 

^t  this  time,  there  was  one  aboul  thirty  miles  from 
where  I  then  lived ;  and  my  brother-in-law  attended 
it ;  where  he  met  with  Lorenzo  Dow,  on  his  way  to 
Canada;  and  invited  him  home  with  him,  to  preach 
at  oar  preaching-hcuse,  and  sent  on  the  aj.pointment  a 
day  or  two  before  hand,  so  that  the  people  might  get 
notice.  And  as  he  was  a  singular  character,  we  were 
very  anxious  to  see  and  hear  him.  The  day  arrived, 
he  came,  and  the  house  was  crowded  ;  and  we  had  a 

ood  time!     I  was  very  much  afraid  of  him,  as  I  had 

eard  such  strange  things  about  him  ! 
He  was  invited  to  mv  brotlier-in-Iaw's,  but  did  not 
come  for  several  days.  He  had  appointments  to  preach 
twice  and  thrice  in  the  day.  However,  at  last  he  came, 
and  tarried  all  night.  The  next  morning  he  was  to 
preach  five  or  six  miles  from  our  house ;  and  little  did 
I  think  that  he  had  any  thoughts  of  marrying,  in  par- 
ticular that  he  should  make  any  proposition  ot'  the  kind 
to  we;  but  so  it  was,  he  returned  that  day  to  dinner; 
and  in  conversation  with  my  !<ister,  concerning  me,  he 
inquired  of  her,  how  long  I  had  professed  religion? 
She  told  him  the  length  of  time.  He  requested  to  know 
whether  I  kept  wicked  company?  She  told  him  I  did 
not;  and  observed,  that  I  had  often  said,  '"I  had  rather 
marry  a  Preicher  than  any  other  man,  provided  I  was 
worthv  ;  and  that  I  would  wish  them  to  travel  and  be 
useful  to  SOULS.  By  this  time  I  happened  to  come  into 
the  room,  and  he  asked  me  if  I  had  made  'any  such 
remarks  ?  I  told  him  I  had.  He  then  asked  me  if  I 
would  accept  of  such  an  object  as  him?  I  made  him 
no  reply,  but  went  directly  out  of  the  room — as  it  was 
the  first  time  he  had  spoken  to  me,  I  was  very  much 
surprised.  He  gave  me  to  understand,  that  he  should 
return  to  our  house  again  in  a  few  days,  and  would 
have  more  conversation  with  me  on  that  subject; 
which  he  did,  after  attending  a  meeting  ten  or  twelve 
miles  from  where  I  lived.  He  returned  the  next  eve- 
ning, and  spoke  to  me  on  the  subject  again,  when  he  told 
me  that  he  would  marry,  provided  he  could  find  one  that 
would  consent  to  his  travelling  and  preaching  the  gos- 
pel; and  if  I  thought  I  could  be  willing  to  marry  him, 
and  give  him  up  to  go,  and  du  his  duty,  and  not  see  him, 


THE  WILDERNESS.  7 

perhaps,  or  have  his  company  more  than  one  month  out 
of  thirteen,  he  should  feel  free  to  give  his  hand  to  me ; 
but  if  I  could  not  be  willing  to  let  him  labour  in  the 
vineyard  of  his  God,  he  dared  not  to  make  any  contract 
of  the  kind;  for  he  could  not  enjoy  peace  of  mind  in 
any  other  sphere.  He  told  me  I  must  v^eigh  the  matter 
seriously  before  God,  whether  I  could  make  «uch  an 
engagement,  and  conform  to  it ;  and  not  stand  in  his 
way,  so  as  to  prevent  his  usefulness  to  souls  !  I  thought 
I  would  rather  marry  a  man  that  loved  and  feared  God, 
and  that  would  strive  to  promote  virtue  and  religion 
among  his  fellow  mortal?,  than  any  other ;  although  I 
felt  myself  inadequate  to  the  task,  without  the  grace  of 
God  to  support  me !  Yet  I  felt  willing  to  cast  my  lot 
with  his ;  and  be  a  help,  and  not  a  hindrance  to  him,  if 
the  Lord  would  give  me  grace ;  as  I  had  no  doubt  that 
he  would,  if  I  stood  as  1  ought — and  I  accepted  of  his 
proposal.  He  was  then  on  his  way  to  Canada,  from 
thence  to  the  Mississippi  Territory ;  and  did  not  expect 
to  return  in  much  less  than  two  years ;  then  if  Provi- 
dence spared,  and  the  way  should  open  for  a  union  of 
that  l^nd,  when  he  returned,  we  would  be  married  I  But 
would  strive  in  that  case,  as  well  as  in  all  others  of 
such  importance,  to  lay  it  before  the  Lord :  and  be 
directed  by  him,  as  far  as  we  could  judge  :  and  not 
rush  precipitately  into  a  state,  that  so  much  concerned 
our  happiness  in  this  world  and  the  next — As  I  doubt 
not  many  engage  in  the  holy  bands  of  matrimony,  with- 
out once  considering  its  importance,  and  the  obligations 
they  lay  themselves  under  to  each  other,  to  do  all  in 
their  power,  to  make  the  silken  cord  not  prove  a  chain 
of  iron ! 

He  left  me,  and  went  on  his  way,  to  preach  the  gos- 
pel through  Canada,  and  from  thence  to  the  South^ 
and  was  gone  for  near  two  years  before  he  returned  ; 
he  left  an  appointment  for  a  Camp-Meeting,  in  conjunc- 
tion with  some  of  the  preachers,  on  his  return,  which 
he  fulfilled :  and  on  September  the  fourth,  we  were 
joined  in  the  bands  of  matrimony,  late  in  the  evening. 
There  was  not  any  present  but  the  family,  and  the 
preacher  who  performed  the  ceremony  I  Early  in  the 
morning  he  started  for  the  Mississippi  Territory,  in  com- 


i 


B  VICISSITUDES  IN 

patiy  with  my  brother-in-law,  who  intended  to  remove  to 
that  country  if  he  should  like  it,  as  Lorenzo  had  a  chain 
of  appoyitments,  previously  given  out,  for  four  thousand 
miles. 

I  expected  to  continue  to  live  with  my  sister,  as  she 
had  no  children,  and  was  much  attached  to  me,  or 
seemed  to  be  so  at  that  time — but  the  Lord  ordered  it 
otherwise.  My  Lorenzo  was  gone  about  seven  months, 
before  he  returned  to  me.  My  brother-in-law  was  pleased 
with  the  country,  and  intended  to  return  to  it  with  his 
family,  in  a  few  months.  My  husband  was  preparing 
to  go  to  Europe,  in  the  fall.  He  returned,  and  stayed 
with  me  about  two  weeks :  and  then  started  for  Canada, 
and  left  me  with  my  sister.  They  were  preparing  to 
remove  to  the  Mississippi  in  July — this  was  in  May — 
and  my  Lorenzo  was  to  meet  them,  in  the  western 
country,  where  they  vvere  to  carry  me  ;  and  from  thence 
we  would  go  to  New  York,  and  they  continue  on  their 
journey  to  the  Mississippi  Territory.  But  he  went  on 
as  far  as  Vermont,  and  held  a  number  of  meetings,  where 
he  saw  his  sisters  that  lived  there;  and  then  feeling  an 
impulse  tO'Teturn  to  Western,  where  1  then  was,  hefgave 
up  the  intended  tour  through  Canada,  and  come  back, 
prepared  to  take  me  to  New  York  city,  where  he  intended 
to  embark  for  Europe. 

We  stayed  a  few  weeks  in  Western,  until  my  brother- 
in-law  got, his  temporal  concerns  settled  ;  and  then,  after 
bidding  my  friends  and  brethren  in  the  Lord  farewell ! 
we  set  off  for  New  York,  attended  by  my  sister,  who 
went  the  same  road  we  were  going,  eighteen  or  twenty 
miles ;  where  Lorenzo  held  several  meetings,  and  stayed 
two  or  three  days  together;  and  then  bid  each  other  fare- 
well, expecting  to  meet  again  in  eighteen  months  or  two 
years.  But  the  providence  of  God  did  not  favour  this, 
or  the  interference  of  the  Enemy  of  mankind  prevented — 
for  we  never  met  again  :  and  could  I  have  foreseen  what 
awaited  my  unfortunate  sister  in  the  country  to  which 
she  was  bound,  the  parting  would  have  been  doubly  dis- 
tressing. But  it  is  happy  for  us  that  we  do  not  know 
what  is  in  futurity,  as  the  great  Master  knoweth  best 
how  to  prepare  our  minds  for  greater  tribulation,  while 
we  travel  through  this  world  of  woe !    Our  parting  was 


THE  WILDERNESS,  9 

truly  sorrowful  and  afflicting,  but  it  was  light  when  com- 
pared to  what  followed ! 

We  left  Westmoreland,  and  went  down  to  Albany, 
where  Lorenzo  had  some  acquaintances,  and  stayed  for 
several  days  at  the  house  of  Mr.  Taylor,  ana  were 
treated  as  if  we  were  their  children. 

Now  my  sphere  of  life  was  altered.  It  was  the  first 
time  I  had  been  so  far  from  home  without  my  sister; 
she  was  like  a  mother  to  me,  as  I  knew  no  other.  My 
heart  often  trembled  at  what  was  before  me,  to  be  con- 
tinually among  strangers ;  being  so  little  acquainted  with 
the  ways  of  the  world,  it  made  me  feel  like  one  at  a 
loss  how  to  behave,  or  what  to  do. 

Lorenzo  was  very  affectionate  and  attentive  to  me. 
He  left  me  at  Albany  with  sister  Taylor,  who  was  going 
down  to  New  York  in  a  sloop.  As  I  was  very  much 
fatigued  by  riding  on  horseback,  he  thought  it  best  for 
me  to  go  down  with  her,  by  water ;  while  he  went  by 
land,  rode  one  horse,  and  led  the  other.  He  arrived  in 
New  York  perhaps  four  and  twenty  hours  before  me. 
I  went  on  board,  for  the  first  time  that  I  ever  was  on  the 
water,  except  to  cross  a  ferry. 

It  made  me  somewhat  gloomy  to  be  on  board  the 
vessel  among  strangers,  while  going  down  the  river  to 
the  city  of  New  York,  as  I  had  never  been  in  such  a 
place  before.  However,  we  landed  about  ten  o'clock  at 
night,  where  I  met  Lorenzo,  who  had  been  on  the  look 
out  for  some  time.  We  went  to  a  friend's  house,  that  had 
been  very  kind  to  him  in  days  past,  who  then  belonged 
to  the  Methodist  church.  I  felt  much  embarrassed,  as  I 
had  never  been  in  the  city  before.  We  stayed  in  New 
York  several  weeks,  and  had  some  precious  meetings. 
Here  I  became  acquainted  with  some  kind  friends,  who 
were  to  me  like  mothers  and  sisters ;  whilst  Lorenzo  left 
me  and  went  to  fulfil  some  appointments  he  had  made 
in  Virginia  and  North  Carolina,  and  expecting  only  to 
be  gone  five  or  six  weeks  ;  but  was  detained,  contrary  to 
his  expectation,  near  three  months.  In  that  time  the 
fever,  that  was  common  in  the  city  of  New  York,  broke 
out,  and  I  went  with  Mr.  Quackenbiish  to  the  country.,, 
about  forty  miles  up  the  river,  to  a  brother  Wilson% 
where  she  carried  her  children  to  go  to  sciiool.-^Here 
•^3 


10  VICISSITUDES  IN 

I  "Stayed  several  weeks.  They  were  people  of  a  iiahd» 
some  property;  but  the  niDre  we  have  the  more  we 
want,  as  has  been  observed  by  many :  And  I  think  it 
will  hold  good  almost  without  exception  ;  for  they  were 
as  much  engaged  to  gain  property,  as  if  they  had  only 
bread  from  hand  to  mouth.  I  was  a  stranger,  and  many 
times  I  felt  as  such,  but  the  Lord  gave  me  support,  so 
that  I  was  tolerable  cheerful  in  the  absence  of  my  com- 
panion !  Before  he  returned,  I  went  back  to  New  York, 
where  I  stayed  until  he  came;  and  prepared  to  sail  for 
Europe,  which-  was  some  lime  in  November.  We 
obtained  a  'protection  from  our  government,  when  leav-' 
ing  the  country  for  England.  It  was  necessary  to  have 
witnesses  to  prove  that  he  was  the  Lorenzo  Dow  that 
was  identified  and  intended  in  the  documents,  which 
he  had  obtained  from  the  United  States  of  America. 
Consequently  he  got  N.  S.  and  J.  Q,.  to  go  before  a 
notary  public,  and  certify  that  he  was  the  same  Lorenzo 
Dew  referred  to  in  the  documents.  Mr.  N.  S.  gave  in 
under  oath,  that  "  he  knew  him  from  his  youth,  * 

holy  gospel !"  And  about  the  same  tim_e  he  wrote  letters 
to  Ireland  and  England,  to  make  his  way  narrow  in 
those  countries.  And  no  thanks  to  him  that  it  did  not 
bring  Lorenzo  into  the  greatest  distress  and  diflficulties 
that  a  man  could  have  been  brought  into  !  But  through 
the  mercy  of  God  it  was  otherwise  o-yerrw/ecZ .' 

He  gave  me  my  choice,  to  go  with  him,  or  stay  with 
friends  in  America,  as  there  were  many  that  told  us  I 
might  stay  with  them,  and  be  as  welcome  as  their  child- 
ren; and  strove  to  prevent  my  goi  '!^^  to  a  land  where  I 
would  find  many  difficulties  and  dangers  to  encounter 
that  I  "was  unacquainted  with,  and  could  not  foresee. 
But  I  chose  to  go,  and  take  my  lot  and  share  Avith  him 
of  whatever  might  befall  us.  Consequently,  on  the  10th 
of  November,  1805,  we  set  sail  from  New  York  for 
Liverpool,  in  Old  England.  We  embarked  about  10 
o'clock,  with  a  fine  breeze.  They  spread  their  canvass, 
and  w^re  soon  under  Avay. 

Lorenzo  came  into  the  cabin,  and  told  me  to  go  on 
deck,  and  bid  farewell  to  my  native  land  !  I  did  so — 
and  the  city  began  to  disappear!    I  could  discover  the 


THE  WILDERNESS.  11 

houses  to  grow  smaller  and  smaller ;  and  at  last  could 
see  nothing  but  the  chimneys  and  the  tops  of  the  houses; 
then  all  disappeared  but  the  masts  of  vessels  in  the 
harbour.  In  a  short  time  nothing  remained  but  a  bound- 
less ocean  opening  to  view,;  and  I  had  to  depend  upon 
nothing  but  the  Providence  of  God  !  I  went  down  into 
the  cabin,  and  thought  perhaps  I  should  see  my  native 
land  no  more  ! 

The  vessel  being  tossed  to  and  fro  on  the  waves,  I 
began  to  feel  very  sick,  and  to  reflect  I  was  bound  to  a 
foreign  land  ;  arid,  supposing  I  should  reach  that  country, 
I  knew  not  what  awaited  me  there.  But  this  was  my 
comfort,  the  same  God  presided  in  England  that  did  in 
America! — I  thought  if  I  might  find  one  real  female 
friend.  I  would  be  satisfied. 

I  continued  to  be  sea-sick  for  near  two  weeks,  and  then 
recovered  my  health  better  than  I  had  enjoyed  it  in  my 
life  before. 

We  Avere  twenty.seven  days  out  of  sight  of  land. 
The  vessel  being  in  a  very  bad  situation,  we  had  not 
been  at  sea  more  than  five  or  six  days,  bcfoie-  tbe  rudder 
began  to  fail;  so  they  could  not  have  commanded  her 
at  all,  if  the  wind  had  bean  un  avourable.  The  weather 
was  very  rough  and  stoimv  ;  but  through  the  mercy  of 
God,  the  loind  was  favourable  to  our  course^  so  that  we 
reached  safe  our  pkce  of  destination. 

When  we  arrived  in  the  river  at  Liverpool,  we  were 
not  permitted  to  land,  until  they  could  send  up  to  Lon- 
don, and  get  returns  from  there,  as  our  vessel  came  fr^^m 
a  port  subject  to  the  yellow  fever;  on  that  account,  we 
were  obliged  to  stay  in  that  river,  for  ten  days,  beibre 
we  Were  permitted  to  come  on  shore. 

I  never  saw  a  woman  for  thirty-seven  days,  except  one 
who  came  along  side  our  vessel,  to  bespeak  the  captain 
as  a  boarder  at  her  house,  when  he  should  come  on 
shore. 

I  strove  to  pray  much  to  God  to  give  us  favour  in  the 
eyes  of  the  people,  and  open  the  way  for  Lorenzo,  to  do 
the  errand  that  he  came  upon  ;  and  to  give  him  success 
in  preaching  the  gospel  to  poor  sinners.  The  prospect 
was  often  gloomy,     Lorenzo  used  to  say  to  me,  keep  up 


12  VICISSITUDES  IN 

your  spirits — we  shall  yet  see  good  days  in  Old  EnglancJ, 
oefore  we  leave  it,  as  the  sequel  proved. 

We  went  on  shore  the  twenty-fourth  or  fifth  of  De- 
cember. Lorenzo  had  a  number  of  letters  to  people  in 
Liverpool.  Some  were  letters  of  recomendation ;  others, 
to  persons  from  their  friends  in  America. 

We  went  with  the  master  of  the  vessel  to  a  boarding 
house,  where  I  was  left  until  Lorenzo  went  to  see  what 
the  prospect  might  be,  and  whether  he  could  meet  with 
any  that  would  open  the  way  for  him  to  get  access  to 
the  people.  After  giving  out  all  the  letters  but  one,  he 
retunied  to  me  :  having  been  two  or  three  hours  absent 
Tvithout  any  particular  success. 

The  house  that  I  tarried  at,  was  a  boarding-house,  for 
American  captains  ;  and  the  women  that  were  there, 
were  wicked  enough  ! — My  heart  was  much  pained  to 
hear  my  own  sex  taking  the  name  of  their  Maker  and 
preserver,  in  vain  !  O  !  thought  I,  shall  i  never  meet 
again  with  any  that  love  and  fear  God  ? — Lorenzo  intend- 
ed to  go  and  find  the  person  that  the  last  letter  was 
directed  to,  and  told  me  I  might  either  stay  there  or  go 
with  him.  I  chose  to  go  with  him,  rather  than  be  left 
with  them  any  longer. — It  was  almost  night,  and  we 
had  not  much  to  depend  upon,  without  the  openings  of 
Providence.  We  started,  but  could  not  find  the  person, 
for  some  time.  However,  at  last,  as  we  were  walking, 
Lorenzo  looked  up  to  the  corner,  and  happened  to  espy 
the  name  that  he  was  after  ;  accordingly  we  went  up 
to  the  door,  and  gave  a  rap,  and  were  admitted. — 
He  delivered  the  letter.  There  was  a  woman  from  Diib- 
li«,  w!io  seeing  that  we  were  strangers  and  foreigners, 
began  to  enquire  of  Lorenzo,  for  some  persons  in  Ame- 
rica; and  shortly  after  this,  she  asked  him,  if  he  had  ever 
heard  of  a  man  hy  the  name  of  Lorenzo  Dow  7  Not 
knowing  that  any  one  in  that  country  could  have  any 
knowledge  of  him,  it  was  very  surprising  to  me.  He 
told  her,  that  was  his  name,  and  she  was  as  much  sur- 
prised in  her  turn.  She  had  seen  him  in  Ireland,  wheii 
he  was  there  some  years  before ;  but  did  not  know  him 
now,  as  he  had  the  small  pox  after  she  had  seen  him, 
which  had  made  a  great  alteration  in  his  appearance. 

The  man  of  the  house  invited  us  to  tarry  all  night,  but 
the  woman  m^de  some  objections !— They  were  friends 


THE  WILDERNESS.  13 

(quakers,)  and  told  us,  there  was  a  quaker  lady  just 
across  the  street  that  kept  a  boarding  house,  where 
we  coulu  be  accommodated  with  lodgings  for  the  night. 
And  as  it  was  then  something  late  in  the  evening,  the 
man  conducted  us  thither,  where  we  obtained  permission 
to  stay. 

As  Lorenzo  had  but  little  to  depend  upon  but  the  open- 
ings of  Providence, — he  intended  to  go  to  Ireland,  and 
take  me  to  his  friends,  and  leave  me  there ;  as  he  had 
wrote  to  that  country  and  had  returns  from  his  old  friend, 
Doctor  Johnson,  with  an  invitation  for  him  to  bring  me  ; 
and  that  1  should  have  a  home  at  his  house,  as  long  as 
we  chose,  whilst  he  pursued  his  travels  through  Ireland 
and  England.  Lorenzo  went  and  procured  a  passage 
across  the  channel,  in  a  packet  to  Dublin  ;  but  did  not 
sail  for  several  days.  So  we  had  to  stay  in  Liverpool 
for  some  time.  Our  board  was  more  than  two  guineas 
a  we.k,  which  was  bringing  Lorenzo  very  short  as  to 
money.  At  last  we  got  on  board  of  the  packet,  with  our 
little  baggage,  and  some  provisions  for  the  voyage  ;  but 
jhe  wind  proved  unfavourable,  and  we  were  driven  back 
into  the  port  of  Liverpool  aguin  ;  aad  that  was  the  case 
for  no  less  than  five  iin)es  runnii  g. 

Before  this,  our  friend  thai  we  met  at  the  Q,uakers,  had 
introduced  us  to  a  family  of  peo]  le  who  v^-ere  Metlio- 
dists,  where  the  woman  was  a  verv  alil-ctionate/y/e;/.c/ ; 
which  opened  the  door  for  acquaintance,  and  we  had 
been  there  several  times. 

Our  landlady  that  we  were  boarding  with  told  us  we 
could  not  stay  with  her  any  longer,  so  we  must  go  else- 
where, as  her  house  was  full. 

The  last  lime  we  went  on  board  of  the  packet,  and 
put  to  sea,  we  had  not  been  out  more  than  two  or  three 
nours  before  the  wind  blew  a  gale  ;  and  it  was  so  dark 
that  they  could  not  see  their  hand  before  them  on  deck; 
and  we  knew  not  how  shortly  we  might  be  cast  on  rocks 
or  sand  banks,  and  all  sent  to  eternity.  There  were 
some  on  board,  who  before  the  storm  came  up,  had  beea 
very  profane  in  taking  the  name  of  iheir  Maker  in  vain; 
but  when  they  saw  and  felt  the  danger  that  they  were 
in,  they  were  as  much  alarmed  as  any  persons  could   be! 

X  oouid  aot  but  woudei'  that  people  would  or  could  be 


14  VICISSITUDES  IN 

so  careless  and  secure  whilst  they  saw  no  danger,  but 
when  the  waves  began  to  roll,  and  the  ship  began 
to  toss  to  and  fro,  they  were  struck  with  astonish- 
ment and  horror! 

My  husband  and  myself  lay  still  in  the  birth,  and 
strove  to  put  our  trust  in  that  hand  that  cOuId  calm  the 
roaring  seas  ;  and  I  felt  measurably  composed.  At  day- 
light, the  captain  made  for  the  port  of  Liverpool  again, 
and  about  eight  or  nine  o'clock  in  the  morning,  we  came 
into  the  dock;  but  as  we  were  coming  in,  under  full 
sail,  and  a  strong  tide,  there  was  a  large  ship,  of  the 
African  trade,  that  was  lying  at  anchor  in  the  harbour ; 
we  ran  foul  of  her,  but  through  mercy  were  preserved 
from  much  harm ! 

The  weather  was  very  rainy,  the  streets  were  muddy, 
and  I  had  walked  through  the  mud  for  a  considerable  dis- 
tance ;  the  prospect  was  gloomy  beyond  description,  but 
my  Lorenzo  cheered  my  spirits,  by  telling  me,  the  Lord 
would  provide,  which  I  found  to  be  true  ! 

We  went  to  Mr.  Forshaid's,  the  people  that  we  were 
introduced  to,  by  the  friend  that  we  saw  at  the  duaker's 
the  first  night  we  were  in  Liverpool.  When  my  good 
friend,  Mrs.  Forshaw,  now  saw  me  returning,  she  was 
touched  with  pity  for  me,  as  I  was  very  muddy  and 
fatigued  !  She  told  Lorenzo  he  had  better  leave  me 
with  her,  whilst  he  travelled  through  the  country,  until 
the  weather  was  better;  and  then  take  me  over  to  Ire- 
land in  the  spring — which  invitation  we  were  very  thank- 
ful for.  O  how  the  Lord  provided  for  me  in  a  strange 
land  !  where  I  had  not  any  thing  to  depend  upon  but 
Providence  ! 

My  Lorenzo  left  me  at  her  house,  and  proceeded  up 
to  London  ;  where  he  w^as  gone  about  two  weeks.  But 
previous  to  this  the  Lord  had  opened  his  way,  so  that 
he  had  held  a  number  of  meetings  in  Liverpool,  and  one 
woman  had  been  brought  to  see  herself  a  sinner,  and  seek 
the  salvation  of  her  soul. 

I  was  at  this  time  in  a  state  of  *********j  and  my  mind 
somewhat  depressed  ;  bat  the  Lord  gave  me  favour  in 
the  eyes  of  the  people,  and  they  were  very  kind  to  me, 
while  he  was  gone.  I  attended  class-meetings  and 
preaching,  which  was  very  refreshing  to  me.    I  felt  to 


THE  WILDERNESS.  15 

bless  God,  that  I  had  found  the  same  religion  in  that 
country,  as  I  had  experienced  in  my  own  native  land. 
I  was  sometimes  very  much  distressed  in  mind,  for  tear 
my  husband  should  die,  and  I  be  left  in  a  strange  land. 
But  he  returned  to  mt  in  the  time  appointed ;  and  had 
several  invitations  to  other  parts  of  the  country,  to  hold 
meetings,  which  he  accepted. 

I  left  Liverpool  with  him,  for  Warrington,  where  he 
had  been  invited,  by  a  man  that  came  to  Liverpool  on 
business  ;  who  not  knowing  there  was  such  a  person  as 
Lorenzo  in  the  country,  but  feeling,  after  he  had  done  his 
business,  like  he  wanted  to  go  to  a  meeting,  and  wander- 
ing about  for  some  time,  when  he  at  last  went  into  a 
meeting-house  that  belonged  to  the  people  called  A'lYAo- 
mites^  where  Lorenzo  had  been  invited  to  preach,  and 
found  a  congregation  assembled  to  hejir  preaching;  and 
after  he  had  done,  as  the  people  were  very  solemn  and 
attentive,  and  many  were  much  wrought  upon,  this  man 
invited  Lorenzo  to  go  to  Warrington,  where  there  was 
a  little  society  of  people  called  Gluaker-methodists  ;  and 
the  meeting-house  should  be  opened  to  him.  He  did 
so,  and  found  them  a  very  pious  people.  We  stayed 
there  for  several  weeks,  and  he  held  meetings  two  or 
three  times  in  a  day;  while  the  Lord  began  a  good 
work  in  that  place,  and  many  were  brought  to  rejoice 
in  the  Lord  !  Peter  Philips,  the  man  that  invited  Lo- 
renzo  there,  and  his' wife,  were  very  friendly  to  us,  and 
their  house  was  our  home  ever  after,  when  we  were  in 
Warrington. 

A  widow  lady  who  lived  there,  had  three  daughters, 
one  of  whom  lived  in  London,  and  the  other  with  her. 
She  came  out  to  hear  Lorenzo  preach ;  and  one  day  after 
meeting,  she  came  to  Peter  Philips,  to  see  us,  and  was 
very  friendly.  Lorenzo  asked  her  if  she  had  any  child- 
ren ?  She  told  him  she  had  three ;  and  that  two  were 
with  her.  He  inquired  if  they  professed  religion  ?  She 
told  him  that  one  of  them  had  made  a  profession,  but 
she  had  lost  it,  she  was  fearful ;  but  the  youngest  never 
had.  He  requested  her  to  tell  them  to  come  and  see 
him ;  but  the  mother  insisted  that  he  should  come  and 
see  them;  and  then  he  could  have  an  opportunity  to 
converse  with  them  at  home.    He  did  so;  and  they 


16  VICISSITUDES  IN 

both  became  very  serious,  and  came  to  his  meetings. 
And  although  they  had  been  very  gay  young  women, 
they  would  come  up  to  be  prayed  hr  in  the  public  con- 
gregation. The  result  was,  they  got  religion  ;  and  the 
youngest  has  since  died  happy  in  the  Lord.  The  eldest 
came  down  from  Loudon  on  a  visit  to  her  mother's, 
where  my  Lorenzo  saw  hc»-,  and  he  was  made  an  instru- 
ment in  the  hand  of  God,  of  her  conversion  to  God. 
She  was  one  of  the  most  affectionate  girls  I  ever  saw  ! 

We  stayed  in  and  about  Warrington  until  May :  in 
which  time  Lorenzo  had  openings  to  preach  in  different 
places,  more  than  he  could  attend  ;  and  the  Lord  blessed 
his  labours  abundantly  to  precious  souls ! 

In  May  we  returned  to  Liverpool,  and  prepared  to 
cross  the  channel  to  Ireland.  We  had  a  very  pleasant 
passage,  and  arrived  in  safety  'where  we  found  our  kind 
irieiid,  doctor  Johnson  and  his  family  well ;  and  were 
received  with  affection  by  many.  The  preachers  that 
were  in  Dublin  were  very  friendly,  and  I  felt  much 
united  to  them.  We  were  invited  to  breakfast,  dine, 
and  sup,  almost  every  day.  But  my  situation  being  a 
delicate  one,  it  made  it  somewhat  *  ♦  *  ♦  *  ^^ 
me !  The  friends  were  as  attentive  to  me  as  I  could  have 
wished  ;  for  which  may  the  Lord  fill  my  heart  with  grati- 
tude. 

Lorenzo  stayed  with  me  for  some  time,  and  then  went 
into  the  country,  where  he  held  many  meetings,  and 
the  Lord  was  with  him.  After  which  he  returned  ^o 
Dublin,  and  with  the  doctor,  he  went  over  again  to  Eng-- 
land.  I  staid  with  Mrs.  Jonnson  until  his  return,  where 
I  expected  to  continue  until  1  should  get  through  my 
approaching  conflict,  if  it  was  the  will  of  the  Lord  to 
bring  me  through.  I  felt  in  tolerable  good  spirits ;  and 
although  I  was  many  hundre.d  miles  from  my  native 
land,  yet  the  Lord  gave  me  favour  in  the  eyes  of  the 
people.  My  wants  were  supplied,  as  it  related  to  my 
present  situation,  abundantly  ! 

Lorenzo  stayed  in  England  for  six  or  eight  weeks,  and 
then  returned  to  me,  to  be  with  nie  in  my  approaching 
conflict.  He  was  very  weak  in  body;  but  c.ntinued  to 
preach  two  and  three  limes  in  the  aay.    He  got  some 


THE  WILDERNESS.  17 

books  printed,  which  enabled  him  to  prosecute  his  travels 
through  the  countries  of  Ireland  and  England. 

Whilst  he  was  absent,  a  woman  had  spoken  to  a 
doctor  to  attend  me,  Avhen  I  should  want  hini,  which 
was  not  agreeable  to  my  Lorenzo.  But  having  gono 
so  far,  it  was  thought  by  those  that  employed  him,  that 
it  was  best  not  to  employ  any  other ;  and  I  being  unac- 
quainted with  the  manners  and  customs  of  the  country, 
was  passive.  My  Lorenzo  was  much  hurt,  but  I  was  not 
sensible  of  it,  as  much  before  as  after.  If  I  had,  I  should 
not  have  suffered  it  to  have  been  so ;  but  we  often  are 
mistaken  in  what  will  be  best  for  us. 

The  time  arrived  that  I  must  pass  through  the  trial, 
and  my  Lorenzo  was  at  the  doctor's.  But  those  that 
attended  on  me  would  not  suffer  him  to  come  into  the 
room  where  1  was — which  gave  him  much  pain.  I  did 
not  at  that  time  know  how  much  he  was  hurt — but  after 
my  child  was  born,  which  was  on  the  16th  of  Septem- 
ber, between  three  and  four  o'clock,  he  was  permitted 
to  come  in,  and  he  had  a  white  handkerchief  on  his 
head,  and  his  face  was  as  white  as  the  handkerchief. 
He  came  t©  the  bed,  and  took  the  child,  observing  to 
me,  that  we  had  got  an  additional  charge — which  if 
spared  to  us,  would  prove  a  blessing,  or  else  one  of  the 
greatest  trials  that  possibly  we  could  have  to  meet  with. 
I  expect  Lorenzo  passed  through  as  great  a  conflict  in 
his  mindj  as  he  had  almost  ever  met  with.  The  Lord 
was  my  support  at  that  time,  and  brought  me  safely 
through.  The  friends  were  very  kind  to  me,  and  sup- 
plied my  wants  with  every  thing  that  was  needful,  and 
in  about  two  weeks  1  was  able  to  leave  ray  room :  my 
heart  was  glad,  when  I  viewed  my  little  daughter.  She 
was  a  sweet  infant.  But  O  how  short-lived  are  earthly 
joys !  We  stayed  in  Dublin  until  she  was  five  weeks 
old  ;  and  then  Lorenzo,  with  myself,  and  our  little  one, 
embarked  on  board  a  packet  for  Liverpool.  The  weather 
was  rainy,  and  tolerable  cold — there  was  no  fire  in  the 
cabin.  There  were  a  numder  of  passengers,  who  thought 
themselves  rather  above  the  middle  class,  men  and  women, 
who  were  civil  to  us  :  but  I  was  so  much  afraid  that  my 
little  infant  would  be  too  much  exposed,  that  I  neglected 
mysedf,  and  probably  took  cold*— we  were  two  sights  aod 


18  VICISSITUDES  IN 

one  day  on  board  the  packet.  We  got  into  Liverpool 
about  ten  or  eleven  o'clock,  where  I  was  met  by  my 
good  friend,  Mrs.  Forshaw ;  and  went  to  her  house, 
where  we  stayed  a  day  or  two,  and  then  took  the  stage 
for  Warrington,  about  eighteen  miles  from  Liverpool, 
where  we  arrived  on  Sunday  morning.  Our  friends, 
Peter  Philips  and  his  wife,  were  at  meeting.  Lorenzo 
went  to  the  chapel.  The  people  were  very  much  rejoiced 
to  see  him.  They  had  been  concerned  for  us,  as  they 
had  not  heard  from  us  for  some  time.  The  friends  from 
the  country,  many  of  whom  came  to  see  us,  while  Lo- 
renzo had  meetings  in  town  and  country,  two  and  three 
times  in  the  day  j  and  the  Lord  was  present  to  heal 
mourning  souls. 

Dr.  Johnson  came  with  us  from  Ireland.  He  was 
much  engaged  in  helping  to  bring  souls  to  the  knov/ledge 
of  the  truth ;  and  was,  I  trust,  made  an  instrument  of 
good  to  many  : — Lorenzo  and  the  doctor  travelled  into 
various  places  in  Lancashire  and  Cheshire,  with  some 
other  counties,  and  many  were  brought  to  see  them- 
selves sinners,  and  seek  their  soul's  salvation. 

The  people  in  that  country  seemed  to  feel  much  for 
me,  and  manifested  it  by  numberless  acts  of  kindness. 
For,  instead  of  having  to  sell  my  gown  for  bread,  as 
Lorenzo  told  me  I  might  have  to  do,  when  we  were  in 
America,  there  was  scarcely  a  day  but  I  had  presents 
of  clothing  or  money,  to  supply  myself  with  whatever  I 
needed.  O  how  grateful  ought  I  to  be  to  my  great  Bene- 
factor, for  all  his  mercies  to  unworthy  me  ! 

My  little  ^^  Letitia  Johnson,''^  for  so  was  my  child 
called,  grew,  and  was  a  very  jfine,  attracting  little  thing. 
I  found  my  heart  was  too  much  set  upon  it,  so  that  I 
often  feared  I  should  love  her  too  well ;  but  strove  to  give 
myself  and  all  that  I  had  to  my  God. 

Lorenzo  was  in  a  very  bad  state  of  health,  which 
alarmed  me  very  much.  I  often  cried  to  the  Lord  to 
take  my  child  or  my  health,  but  spare  my  dear  husband  ! 
The  thought  was  so  painful  to  me,  to  be  left  in  a  strange 
land,  with  a  child,  so  far  from  my  native  soil ! — The 
Lord  took  me  at  my  word,  and  laid  his  afflicting  hand 
upon  me. 

Lorenzo  and  the  doctor  went  to  Macclesfield^  and 


THE  WILDERNESS.  19 

expected  to  be  gone  about  a  week  :  and  left  me  at  Peter 
Philip's,  where  I  was  taken  sick,  the  day  they  started, 
with  the  nervous  fever — but  kept  up,  and  nursed  my 
child,  until  two  or  three  days  before  they  returned.  I 
thought  I  had  taken  a  very  severe  cold,  and  should  be 
better  ;  but. grew  worse  every  day. 

The  friends  were  very  kind  to  me,  particularly  Mary 
Barford,  a  young  lady  o(  fortune^  who  had  got  religion 
through  the  instrumentality  of  Lorenzo.  She  attended 
me  two  and  three  times  a  day.  After  I  got  so  as  not  to  be 
able  to  sit  up,  she  hired  a  girl  to  take  care  of  my  child. 
My  fever  increased  very  fast,  and  the  night  before  Lo- 
renzo got  to  Warrington,  I  thought  I  was  dying,  and 
those  that  were  about  me  were  very  much  alarmed,  and 
sent  for  a  doctor;  he  came,  and  administered  something 
to  me.  He  said  I  was  not  dying,  but  that  I  was  very 
sick !  The  next  morning  doctor  Johnson  and  Lorenzo 
came  ;  they  found  me  in  bed.  The  doctor  thought  per- 
haps I  had  taken  cold,  and  it  would  wear  oif  after  giving 
me  something  to  promote  a  copious  sweat.  But  when  he 
found  that  the  fever  continued  to  rise,  he  told  us  to  pre- 
pare for  the  worst — -for  it  was  a  nervous  hvQi,  and  that  it 
was  probable  it  would  carry  me  to  a  world  of  spirits. 

I  had  continued  to  nurse  my  child  for  more  than  one 
week  after  I  vv-as  taken  sick,  which  was  very  injurious 
to  her.  The  doctor  forbade  my  suckling  ber  any  longer, 
which  gave  me  much  pain.  They  were  obliged  to  take 
her  from  me  and  feed  her  with  a  bottle.  My  fever 
increased,  and  rose  to  such  a  height,  that  it  was  thought 
I  could  not  survive  many  days  !  The  doctor  stayed  with 
me,  and  payed  every  attention  in  his  power,  for  twenty 
days  and  nights.  Lorenzo  was  not  undressed,  to  go  to 
bed,  for  near  three  weeks,  nor  the  doctor  for  nearly  the 
same  length  of  time. 

My  kind  friends  gave  me  every  assistance  in  their 
power:  they  came  from  the  country,  for  many  miles 
distant,  to  see  if  we  were  in  want  of  any  thing  that 
they  could  help  us  to.  May  the  Lord  reward  them  for 
their  kindness  to  me,  in  the  day  of  adversity. — Our  dear 
friend,  Mary  Barford,  used  to  come  every  day  two  or 
three  times  to  see  me,  and  administer  to  my  necessities; 
and  many  others  cume  al^o,  Sht:  was  a  precious  girl, 
4i 


to  VICISSITUDES  IN 

and  although  she  had  been  raised  in  the  first  circle,  woulcf 
go  into  the  houses  of  the  poor,  and  supply  their  wants,' 
and  nurse  and  do  for  them  like  she  had  been  a  servant. 
Although  Lorenzo  was  so  broke  of  his  rest  and  fatigued 
by  night,  yet  he  held  meetings  almost  every  day,  some 
of  which  were  a  considerable  distance  from  town  ;  and 
as  he  was  weak  in  body,  our  friend  M.  B.  frequently 
hired  a  hack,  to  convey  him  to  his  appointments  and 
back,  so  that  he  was  with  me  the  greatest  part  of  the 
time. 

I  was  very  much  reduced,  so  that  I  was  almost  as  help- 
less as  an  infant. 

There  was  a  chair-maker's  shop  adjoining  the  house, 
and  the  room  that  I  was  confined  in  being  most  con- 
tiguous, the  noise  of  the  shop,  together  with  that  of  the 
town,  was  very  distressing  to  me — likewise  the  family 
was  large,  and  the  house  small,  so  that  it  was  very  uncom- 
fortable. We  were  under  the  necessity  of  having  some 
person  to  sit  up  with  me  every  night,  for  my  fever  raged 
to  that  degree  I  wanted  drink  almost  every  moment. 
The  light  was  not  extinguished  in  my  room  for  six  or 
eight  weeks.  My  poor  child  was  very  fretful;  the  girl 
that  nursed  it  would  get  to  sleep  and  let  it  cry  ;  this 
distressed  my  mind,  and  it  was  thought  best  by  my 
friends  to  get  some  person  to  take  it  to  the  country,  to  be 
nursed  there. 

To  be  separated  from  ray  child  was  very  painful  to 
me ;  but  as  my  life  was  despaired  of  by  my  friends,  and 
as  I  myself  had  not  much  expectation  that  I  should 
recover,  I  strove  to  give  it  up,  knowing  it  would  be  best 
for  the  child,  and  for  me  also. 

There  was  a  woman  from  Cheshire,  who  lived  about 
ten  miles  distant  from  Warrington,  that  had  no  children. — 
She  came  to  see  me,  and  offered  to  take  my  baby  and 
nurse  ic,  until  I  shou4d  die  or  get  better — which  was 
agreed  to — so  they  made  ready,  and  she  took  it  I  But 
O  the  heart-rending  sorrow  that  I  felt  on  the  separatioEs 
with  my  helpless  little  infant !  Language  cannot  paint 
it !  But  the  Lord  was  my  support  in  that  trying  hour, 
so  that  I  was  enabled  to  bear  it  with  some  degree  of 
fortitude.  I  was  anxious  to  get  well  and  return  to  Ame- 
rica; but  little  did  I  know  what  awaited  me  &n  my 


THE  WILDERNESS.  21 

native  shore!  My  disorder  affected  my  mind  very  muchK 
Likewise  I  was  very  desirous  to  see  my  sister  that  raised 
me,  once  more  in  time ;  she  was  as  near  to  me  as  a 
mother.  We  had  heard  that  they  had  arrived  safe  at 
the  Mississippi   territory,  and  were  like  to  do  well. 

At  times  I  was  very' Ar/pp?/ ;  and  then  at  other  times 
my  mind  was  very  gloomy,  and  sunk,  as  it  were.  The 
doctor  said  that  he  never  saw  any  one's  nerves  so  affected, 
that  did  not  die,  or  quite  lose  their  reason  for  a  time.  But 
I  retained  my  senses  and  recollection  as  well  as  ever, 
althoui^h  it  seemed  that  I  scarce  slept  at  all ! 

As  I  was  surrounded  with  noise,  the  doctor  thought  it 
would  be  better  for  me  to  be  removed  to  a  friend'.s  house 
in  the  country,  who  lived  about  four  miles  from  where 
I  was.  Accordingly  they  hired  a  long  coach,  and  put  a 
bed  in  it,  and  then  a  man  took  me  in  his  arms,  and  put 
me,  in  ;  and  the  doctor  and  Lorenzo  got  into  the  coach 
with  me,  and  carried  me  four  miles  into  the  countrv,  to 
a  friend's  house,  where  I  had  every  attention  paicl  me 
that  I  could  wish  for ;  and  from  that  time  I  began  to  mend 
and  recover. — This  was  about  Christmas. 

Lorenzo  felt  a  desire  to  visit  Ireland  once  more  before 
he  returned  to  America,  and  he  wished  to  make  arrange- 
ments to  return  in  the  spring;  and  if  he  did  not  go  to 
Ireland  in  a  short  time,  he  caul;!  not  go  at  all.  I  was 
at  that  time  so  low,  that  I  co"Jd  not  get  up,  or  assist 
myself  so  much  as  to  get  a  d.ink  of  water — and  it  was 
doubtful  whether  I  shou'd  recover  again  or  not. 

He  told  me  what  he  felt  a  desire  to  do  but  added,  that 
he  would  not  go  unless  I  felt  quite  willing.  I  told  him, 
the  same  merciiul  God  presided  over  us,  when  separated, 
as  when  we  were  together ;  and  that  he  would  provide 
for  me,  as  he  had  done  in  a  strange  land,  through  my 
present  illness:  and  wished  him  to  go  and  do  his  duty  ! 
Accordingly,  he  hired  a  young  woman  to  come  and  stay 
wi':h  me  night  and  day. 

He  had  to  preach  at  a  place  about  two  miles  from 
where  I  was,  at  night ;  and  told  me,  perhaps  he  should 
not  return  that  night;  and  if  he  did  not  he  should  not 
return  to  see  me  again,  before  he  left  that  part  for  Ireland. 
However,  I  thought  he  v^ould  return  to  me  again  before 
he  left  England — but  he,  to  save  me  the  pain  of  parting, 
2* 


i23  VICISSITUDES  IN 

did  not  return,  as  I  had  expected,  but  took  the  coach  for 
Chester^  and  so  on  to  Hollyhead  in  Wales,  tiiere  to 
embark  for  Dublui  ;  and  lelt  the  doctor  to  stay  with  me, 
until  his  return  ;  which  he  did.  and  w-as  as  a  father  and 
friend  to  me  in  his  absence. 

Although  I  felt  willing  for  him  to  g-o  and  blow  the 
gospel  trumpet,  yet  my  heart  shrunk  at  the  though? 
of  bein^  left  in  a  strange  land,  in  my  present  situation, 
so  weak  that  I  could  not  put  on  my  clothes  without 
help  :  and  my  sweet  little  babe  at  a  considerable  distance 
from  me,  and  amongst  strangers.  But  the  Lord  was  my 
support,  and  gave  me  strength  to  be,  in  some  consider- 
able degree,  resigned  to  the  will  of  God  ! 

Lorenzo  went  on  the  outside  of  the.eoach,  exposed  to 
the  inclement  weather,  and  to  the  rude  insults  of  the 
passengers,  mitil  he  got  to  Hollyhead,  where  he  Avent  on 
board  a  packet  for  Dublin,  when  he  was  both  wet  and 
cold,  and  was  for  four  and  twenty  hours  without  food. 
But  when  he  got  to  %'  rs.  Johnson's,  he  found  her,  as  ever, 
a  friend  indeed :  where  he  stayed  until  he  got  recruited", 
and  then  commenced  his  travels;  whilst  I  Avas  left  behind*, 
to  encounter  the  most  tr^'ing  scene  that  I  had  ever  met 
with. 

'  My  strength  gradually  increased,  so  that  I  was  in  a 
few  weeks  able  to  sit  up  and  to  walk  about  the  room. 
The  people  that  I  was  with,  were  as  kind  and  attentive 
us  they  could  be — may  the  Lord  reward  them.  But  the 
doctor  thought  it  would  be  best  for  iiie  to  go  to  another 
neighbcurhood,  as  a  change  of  air  and  new  objects 
might  contribute  to  my  health  ;  and  I  should  be  nearer 
my  cl  ild,  which  was  a  pleasing  thought  to  me.  We 
got  into  a  carriag-e,  and  went  to  a  friend's  house,  eight 
or  ten  miles,  where  I  had  been  invited  and  sent  for.  We 
stayed  a  week  or  more,  and  then  we  went  to  another 
place,  within  two  miles  of  my  child,  which  I  expected 
10  see  and  clasp  to  my  bosom  !  O  how  short-lived  are 
all  earthly  enjoyments !  I  did  see  my  sweet  little 
babe  once  more  !  The  woman  that  had  her  brought  her 
to  see  me;  my  heart  leaped  with  joy  at  the  sight.  The 
innocent  smile  that  adorned  her  face  !  O  how  pleasing., 
1  wished  very  much  to  keep  her,  but  the  doctor  would 
5401  consent  that  L  should  undertake  to  nurse  her.    He 


THE  WILDERNESS,  23 

said,  I  had  not  recovered  my  strength  sufficient  to  ^o^ 
through  the  fatigue  of  nursing.  But  he  that  gave  it, 
provided  for  it  better  than  I  could ;  he  saw  it  best  to 
transplant  it  in  a  happier  soil  than  this  ;  for  in  two  or 
three  days,  the  flower  that  began  to  bloom,  was  nipt  by 
the  cold  nand  of  death,  after  a  short  illness  of  perhaps  two 
or  three  days  ;  my  tender  babe  was  a  lifeless  lump  of 
clay,  and  her  happy  spirit  landed  on  the  peaceful  «hore 

of  BLEST  ETERNITY. 

They  kept  me  in  ignorance  of  her  sickness,  until  she 
was  dead.  I  could  not  tell  why  my  mind  was  so  much 
distressed  on  the  account  of  my  child.  I  inquired  of 
every  one  that  I  could  see  from  where  she  was  j  but 
they  would  not  tell  me  of  her  danger,  until  she  was 
dead.  I  was  then  about  four  miles  from  her,  where  I 
had  gone  the  day  that  she  died.  A  kind  sister  walked 
that  distance  to  let  me  know  that  my  little  Letitia  was 
no  more  ;  lest  some  one  should  too  abruptly  communi- 
cate the  heavy  tidings  ;  as  my  health  was  not  yet  restored, 
and  it  was  feared  that  itwould  be  attended  with  some  dis- 
agreeable consequences  !  I  was  much  surprised  to  see 
sister  Wade  come,  as  I  had  left  her  house  only  the  day 
before.  ,The  first  question,  I  asked  how  my  child  was  ? 
She  made  me  no  reply.  It  struck  my  mind  very  forcibly, 
that  she  was  no  more  I  I  requested  her  to  tell  me  the 
worst,  for  I  was  prepared  for  it — My  mind  had  been 
impressed  with  a  foreboding  for  some  time !  She  told 
me  my  child  was  gone,  to  return  no  more  to  me  !  I  felt 
it  went  to  my  heart,  in  sensations  that  I  cannot  express ! — 
it  was  a  sorrow,  but  not  without  hope — I  felt  my  babe 
was  torn  from  my  bosom  by  the-  cruel  hand  of  death  t 
But  the  summons  was  sent  by  him  that  has  a  right  ta 
give  and  take  away.  He  had  removed  my  innocent 
infant  far  from  a  world  of  grief  and  sin !  perhaps  for 
my  good ;  for  I  often  felt  my  heart  too  much  attached 
jto'it;  so  much,  that  I  feared  it  would  draw  my  heart 
^ronr*  my  duty  to  my  God  I  O  the  danger  of  loving  any 
creature  in  preference  to  our  Saviour!  I  felt  as  one 
alone — my  Lorenzo  in  Ireland — my  child  was  gone  to 
■^  happier  clim^!  I  strove  to  sink  into  the  will  of  God  ; 
i'Ut  the  struggle  was  very  severe,  although  I  thought 


Zi  VICISSITUDES  IN 

I  could  say,  "The  Lord  gave,  and  the  Lord  hath  taken 
away,  and  blessed  be  the  name  of  the  Lord  !" 

The  day  that  my  child  was  carried  to  Warrington^  to 
be  interred  in  the  burying  ground  of  the  quaker-raetho- 
dists,  about  ten  miles  from  where  she  died,  1  felt  as 
though  I  must  see  her  before  she  was  consigned  to  the 
dust,  to  be  food  for  worms.  They  had  to  carry  the  corpse 
by  the  house  that  I  was  at — my  friends  opposed  it. so 
warmly,  urging  my  present  state  of  health  as  a  reason/ 
I  thought  perhaps  it  wo-uld  be  best,  and  strove  to  com- 
pose myself,  and  use  my  reasonj  and  resign  my  all  into 
the  hands  of  the  Lord — it  was  a  severe  struggle,  but  the 
Friend  of  sinners  supported  me  under  all  my  afflictions. 

They  carried  my  sweet  little  Leiitia,  and  consigned  her 
to  the  tomb,  there  to  rest  Until  the  last  trump  siiall  sound, 
and  the  body  and  spirit  be  re-united  again:  and  then 
We  shall  see  how  glorious  is  immortality  ! 

I  wrote  to  my  Lorenzo  the  day  that  our  child  died ;  he 
did  not  get  it,  but  wrote  to  me,  and  mentioned,  that  be 
wished  to  see  me  and  the  child,  which  opened  afresh  the 
wound  that  had  been  received — but  he  got  the  news  by 
way  of  Mrs.  Johnson,  He  wrote  to  me,  that  ke  intended 
to  return  to  America  in  the  spring,  which  I  was  very 
anxious  for.  My  health  began  to  get  better,  so  that  I 
was  able  to  walk  two  miles  at  a  time,  as  walking  was 
very  customary  among  the  people  in  that  country.  I 
felt  a  desire  to  return  to  Warrington,  which  I  did  in  a 
canal  boat,  and  was  kindly  received  by  my  good  friends 
and  benefactors,  Peter  and  Hannah  Philip's,  with  many 
others  that  had  contributed  to  my  comfort,  while  afflictea 
with  sickness  and  distress.  I  stayed  in  the  town  of 
Warrington  for  several  weeks,  with  my  friends,  and  was 
frequently  at  the  little  chapel,  where  my  sweet  little 
infant's  remains  were  deposited — and  I  often  felt  a  plea- 
sure of  the  sweetest  kind,  in  contemplating  that  my  child 
liad  escaped  all  the  vanities  and  dangers  of  the  treache- 
rous and  uncertain  world,  for  the  never-fading  glories  of 
paradise,  where  I  hoped,  when  life  should  end,  I  should 
meet  her  to  part  no  more! — notwithstanding,  I  felt  the 
io.<s  very  sensibly. 

I  wrote  to  Lorenzo  from  that  place,  and  received  an 
.3»swer,^whicii  was  calculated  to  cousolt  my  heart,  and 


THE  WILDERNESS.  25 

comfort  me  under  my  present  affliction.  He  desired  me 
to  meet  him  in  Liverpool,  on  the  first  of  March,  "which  I 
did.  I  went  by  the  way  of  Frodsham.,  in  Cheshire,  down 
the  river,  in  a  large  flat,  with  a  man  and  his  wife,  that 
were  employed  to  bring  the  rock  for  making  salt.  The 
river  had  been  frozen  considerably,  and  was  full  of  ice ; 
and  when  the  tide  came  in,  it  appeared  very  alarming  to 
me  ;  but  after  a  little  the  boat  got  under  way,  and  we  had 
a  tolerable  pleasant  sail  down  the  river*  to  Liverpool, 
where  I  met  with  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Forshaw,  my  kind 
friends  that  had  succoured  me  in  days  past,  when  I  had 
no  one  to  depend  upon  on  that  side  of  the  great  ocean  !■—• 
They  still  were,  as  ever,  friendly ;  where  I  stayed  until 
near  the  middle  of  March,  when  Lorenzo  returned  from 
Ireland,  which  made  my  heart  rejoice ! 

We  left  Liverpool  in  a  canal  boat  for  the  country,  and 
visited  several  towns,  where  Lorenzo  preached  to  numer- 
ous congregations.  The  people  were  remarkably  atten- 
tive. There  was  a  pleasant  prospect  opened  before  him, 
and  he  received  more  invitations  to  preach  in  different 
parts  of  the  country  than  he  could  attend. 

There  had  a  number  of  people  determined  to  come 
from  Ireland  to  America  with  us  ;  and  were  accordingly 
to  meet  us  in  Liverpool  in  April.  Consequently,  we  had 
but  a  few  weeks  to  stay  in  and  about  Warrington.  I 
had  become  so  much  attached  to  the  friends,  that  it  was 
truly  painful  to  part  with  them.  Our  friends  came  from 
various  parts  of  the  country  to  bid  us  farewell ;  and  we 
had  sweet  and  melting  times  together,  not  expecting  to 
meet  again  until  we  should  meet  in  a  blissful  eternity. 

We  left  Warrington  for  Lymn,  where  Lorenzo  preach- 
ed, and  bid  the  people  farewell  !  They  were  much 
affected.  We  parted  with  a  hope  of  meeting  in  a  better 
and  a  happier  world.  From  thence  we  went  to  Preston- 
Brook;  where  Lorenzo  preached  again  another  farewell. 
It  was  a  precious  time  to  many.  From  there  to  Frods- 
ham — the  people  flocked  round  him  with  the  greatest 
afiection,  for  there  the  Lord  had  blessed  his  labours  in  a 
peculiar  manner  to  the  souls  of  many.  He  preached  to 
them  for  the  last  time,  and  bid  them  an  affectionate  fare= 
well,  while  they  were  bathed  in  tears,  seemingly  as 
much  pained  as  though  they  were  parting  with  a  parents 
3* 


S6  VICISSITUDES  IN 

From  thence  he  went  to  Chester,  the  most  ancient 
*ity,  perhaps,  in  that  country,  except  London !  He  left 
me  to  come  in  the  coach  a'  few  days  after,  whilst  he 
visited  th^  country  adjacent.  Accordingly  I  met  him  on 
the  day  appointed,  and  we  stayed  some  time  in  Chester. 
Jt  was  a  great  curiosity,  as  it  was  built  on  the  moat 
ancient  construction :  being  walled  in,  quite  round,  and 
the  outside  of  the  wall  very  high;  there  was  a  trench 
dug  on  the  outside,  and  it  was  walled  up  from  that* 
The  top  of  the  wall  was  wide  enough  for  a  carriage 
to  pass,  with  a  breast-work  sufficiently  high  to  prevent 
any  thin^  from  failing  over,  and  upon  the  inside  was 
another  similtir! 

The  antiquity  of  the  houses,  and  the  nobleness  of  the 
public  buildings,  struck  me  with  a  solemnity  that  I  can- 
not express.  My  thoughts  ran  to  times  that  had  gone  by, 
when  those  that  had  laid  the  foundation  of  these  walls 
were  animated  with  life  and  activity!  Where  are  they 
now?  They  have  gon«3  to  a  world  of  spirits — and  we 
must  shortly  follow  them!  And  those  that  take  our 
place,  will  wonder  at  the  labour  of  our  hands  in  like 
manner  ! 

The  country  is  truly  delightful  that  surrounds  the  city 
of  Chester,  It  was  in  the  spring  when  I  was  there,  whea 
every  thing  wears  a  pleasing  appearance. 

The  people  were  very  hospitable  and  kind,  at  least 
they  were  so  to  me. 

We  left  Chester  for  Liverpool  in  a  little  sail  boat,  and 
the  river  was  something  rough.  There  was  a  number 
of  passengers,  which  made  it  quite  unpleasant ;  but  we 
arrived  safe  in  the  evening,  where  we  met  our  friends 
from  Ireland,  that  intended  to  come  to  America  with  us. 
Lorenzo  had  made  the  necessary  preparations  for  the 
voyage ;  and  he  had  chartered  the  cabin  and  steerage  for 
the  accommodation  of  passengers,  at  a  lower  rate  than 
he  could  have  got  it,  if  there  had  been  but  two  or  three. 

The  first  ship  that  he  engaged  to  transport  us  to  our 
native  soil,  sprang  a  leak  as  she  was  coming  out  of  dock; 
^ot  injured  by  some  means,  and  had  to  unlade,  and  get 
It  repaired ;  so  that  it  delayed  her  sailing  for  some  time 
longer.  But  as  we  were  in  readiness  to  leave  the  country, 
Lorenzo  met  with  another,  where  he  could  obtain  accom- 


THE  WILDERNESS.  27 

modations  at  a  better  rate :  he  accordingly  made  a  bargain 
with  the  captain  for  a  passage  in  her,  and  every  thing 
being  prepared  for  our  voyage,  on  the  sixth  of  May  we 
hoisted  sail  and  weighed  for  America,  which  gave  me  a 
very  pleasant  sensation ;  after  having  been  in  England 
and  Ireland  about  eighteen  months,  and  experiencing 
many  kindnesses  and  favours  from  tlje  people  j  and  that 
Lorenzo  was  made  an  instrument  in  the  hand  of  a  gra- 
cious God,  in  bringing  many  precious  souls  to  the  know- 
ledge of  the  truth. 

On  the  first  day,  in  the  morning,  we  had  a  very  plea- 
sant breeze,  but  the  fog  springing  up,  it  was  something 
gloomy  for  several  days — but  by  that  means  we  avoided 
the  ships  of  war,  that  were  very  numerous  on  the  coast 
of  England ;  and  as  Lorenzo  and  myself  had  no  legal 
passports  from  that  country,  the  law  being  such,  that 
aliens  were  much  put  to  it  to  travel  in  that  kingdom  j  and 
particularly  those  that  were  in  Lorenzo's  capacity,  such 
as  preachers :  they  must  first  take  the  oath  of  allegiance 
to  the  king  of  England,  and  get  a  license  to  preach,  or 
they  were  subject  to  a  fine  for  every  sermon  they  should 
preach,  of  twenty  pounds  each ;  and  every  house  must 
be  licensed  also,  or  the  man  that  owned  it  was  subject  to 
a  fine  of  twenty  pounds ;  and  every  person  that  heard 
preaching  there,  were  likewise  liable  to  pay  five  shillings  ! 
But  Lorenzo,  in  the  first  place,  could  not  take  the  oath 
that  was  requested,  to  obtain  the  license — he  thought  as 
he  had  left  his  native  land,  not  to  gain  worldly  honour  or 
applause,  he  could  still  trust  that  Providence,  who  had 
guided  his  course  through  the  great  deep,  and  brought 
him  through  many  dangers  and  difficulties  in  his  ov/n 
country,  so  he  strove  to  do  his  duty,  and  leave  the  event 
to  God. 

We  had  a  very  pleasant  voyage,  except  the  passengers 
were  generally  sick,  for  more  than  a  week,  except  my 
husband  and  self.  I  was  never  better  in  my  life — but 
they  recovered  their  health  and  spirits  after  a  few  days  ; 
and  we  had  some  very  good  times  on  board.  Lorenzo 
preached  to  the  people  on  Sundays,  and  we  had  prayers 
night  and,  morning,  when  the  weather  would  admit. 
We  had  plenty  of  the  necessaries  of  life  to  make  us 
comfortable.  • 
4* 


28  VICISSITUDES  IN 

We  were  near  six  weeks  on  our  passage.  Some  iirtie 
towards  the  last  of  June,  we  saw  the  long-wished  for 
land  of  A'n.erica,  which  I  so  earnestly  desired  to  behold 
once  more.  The  beautiful  feountry  and  town  of  New 
Bedford,  in  Massachusetts,  presented  to  view,  where  we 
landed,  and  was  kindly  received. 

The  people  that  professed  religion  were  chiefly  quakers, 
and  those  who  styled  themselves  Christians.  Lorenzo 
h?ld  several  meetings  in  the  town,  which  was  very  satis- 
factoiy  to  many. 

After  staying  near  two  weeks  in  Bedford,  Lorenzo, 
with  nearly  all  the  passengers  that  were  in  the  ship, 
went  on  board  a  packet  for  New  York ;  and  left  me  to 
come  round  with  the  other  women  in  the  ship,  to  Vir- 
ginia^ and  to  meet  him  in  Richmond. 

We  parted,  and  I  had  to  stay  nearly  two  weeks  before 
the  ship  sailed ;  they  were  taking  out  the  lading,  and  pre- 
paring her  for  a  fresh  cargo  when  they  should  arrive  at 
Virginia.  It  was  about  the  time  that  the  ship  Chesapeake 
was  fired  upon  by  the  British !  We  sailed  from  New 
Bedford  about  the  first  of  July,  and  had  tolerable  pleasant 
weather,  though  we  were  lonely,  not  having  any  com- 
pany but  us  three  women.  We  got  into  Chesapeake 
Bay  at  evening,  and  passed  one  of  the  armed  vessels 
belonging  to  the  British,  and  expected  them  to  have 
stopped  us,  as  it  had  been  reported  that  they  were  in  the 
habit  of  requiring  the  captains  of  American  vessels  to 
pull  down  their  colours  to  them,  or  else  firing  upon  them. 
However,  we  passed  unmolested,  except  that  they  hailed 
us ;  but  it  being  dark,  we  got  by.  Sister  Wade  was 
very  much  alarmed  :  but  I  felt  so  much  of  the  spirit  of 
Independent  America,  that  I  did  not  wish  my  country's 
flag  to  be  disgraced  in  our  own  waters.  In  the  morning 
we  came  into  Hampton  Bocids,  where  we  anchored  and 
stayed  several  days,  in  sight  of  the  British  ships  of  war, 
while  the  captain  took  a  boat  and  went  to  Norfolk  to  seek 
for  a  cargo. 

^""e  were  in  a  very  unpleasant  situation,  as  we  had  no 
one  on  'board  that  we  could  place  any  real  confidence  in  ; 
but  Providence  provided  for  us,  and  we  met  with  no 
insults  from  any.  The  captain  returned  at  night,  and 
jtha  next  morning  we  set  sail  for  Citi/  PoinU    The  day 


THE  WILDERNESS.  29 

Was  delightful,  and  the  scenes  that  surrounded  were  truly 
pleasing.  The  river  seemed  by  the  bends  to  be  inclosed 
m  on  every  side  ;  and  the  banks  to  be  covered  with  all 
the  beauties  that  summer  could  produce,  which  gave  my 
mind  a  pleasant  sensation,  when  I  reflected  that  it  was 
my  native  country — my  beloved  America  !  But  little 
did  I  know  what  awaited  me  in  my  native  land! 

We  sailed  on  very  pleasantly  through  the  day,  and 
about  eight  or  nine  o'clock  we  arrived  at  City  Point. 
The  ship  was  in  the  river,  until  her  lading  was  brought 
down  from  Richmond  in  lighters.  The  weather  was 
getting  very  warm,  and  we  were  obliged  to  stay  on  board 
until  we  could  get  an  opportunity  to  go  to  Richmond, 
which,  by  land,  was  not  more  than  twenty-five  miles  ;  but 
by  water  it  was,  perhaps,  twice  as  far.  And  here  tinie 
passed  away  very  heavily,  until  the  master  of  the  ship 
went  up  to  Richmond  on  business,  and  hired  a  hack  to 
return  ;  consequently  we  embraced  the  opportunity,  when 
it  returned,  to  get  a  seat  in  it  up  to  Richmond,  leaving 
our  trunks  and  other  things  to  be  brought  up  by  the  boats, 
that  were  to  bring  down  the  lading  for  the  ship. 

We  bid  farewell  to  the  ship,  where  I  had  been  confined 
the  most  of  the  time  for  near  three  months ;  and  it  was  a 
happy  day  for  me,  although  I  was  in  a  part  of  the  con- 
tinent th-t  I  had  never  been  in  before.  I  felt  as  though  I 
could  kiss  the  ground  :  but  my  companion,  Mrs.  Wade, 
her  mind  was  occupied  in  quite  a  different  way,— she 
was  thousands  of  miles  from  her  native  land,  Avhile  I  was 
breathing  my  native  air. 

We  arrived  in  Richmond  about  one  or  two  o'clock, 
and  stopped  at  the  ^^  Bell  Tavern,''^  strangers  to  all  thai 
we  saw:  however,  I  had  received  a  direction  where  to 
go,  and  make  myself  known  ;  which  I  did,  at  a  JDrother 
Foster^s^  and  when  they  learned  w^ho  I  was,  received  us 
very  kindly:  but  it  was  a  severe  trial,  it  being  the  first 
time  I  had  been  obliged  to  call  on  friends,  without  any 
one  to  introduce  me.  But  the  Lord  provided  for  me,  anJi 
I  found  many  friends  in  that  place:  we  stayed  ther« 
some  days. 

Brother  Wade  and  Lorenzo  came  and  met  us,  and  the 
latter  held  several  meetings,  and  we  had  good  times  with 


^0  VICISSITUDES  IN 

the  brethren.  There  I  saw  the  girt  that  brother  Mead 
has  since  married. 

Lorenzo  had  bought  a  span  of  mules  before  he  went 
to  Europe ;  and  they  were  to  be  broke  for  a  carriage  by 
the  time  he  should  return  5  but  they  were  taken  and  put 
into  a  wagon,  and  so  broke  down  that  they  were  unfit 
for  use.  He  had  paid  eighty  pounds  for  them  just  before 
he  left  the  continent  j  this  was  the  beginning  of  trouble 
to  him. 

We  obtained  the  loan  of  a  gig  from  one  of  our  friends, 
to  carry  us  up  as  far  as  Cumherland,  to  Mr.  John  Hoh- 
so7i's,  who  had  been  a  great  friend  to  Lorenzo  in  days 
that  were  past  and  gone,  and  still  appeared  to  be  such : 
here  he  traded  off  his  mules  with  a  man,  for  a  horse  and 
gig  not  worth  half  the  money  that  he  payed  for  them ; 
but  he  could  do  no  better,  as  we  were  under  the  necessity 
of  going  to  the  7iorth,  to  make  ready  to  go  to  the  Missis- 
sippi, where  my  relations  had  gone,  and  I  was  very 
anxious  to  go.  But  O  the  heart-felt  sorrow  they  were 
the  cause  of  to  me  and  my  companion  after ! 

We  left  our  friend's  house,  and  started  for  the  north. — 
As  we  had  written  to  my  sister  in  the  Mississippi.,  on 
our  first  arrival  in  America,  but  had  got  no  answer  from 
them,  I  felt  very  desirous  to  hear  from  her,  as  she  was  as 
a  mother  to  me  in  my  infant  days — I  loved  her  dearly. 

We  went  through  New  London  and  Lynchburg,  where 
we  rnet  with  many  friends,  and  attended  a  Camp-Meet- 
ing in  Amherst;  from  thence  to  New  Glasgow,  where 
Lorenzo  preached  at  night :  we  stayed  at  an  old  gentle- 
man's house,  who  was  very  friendly.  Thence  we  con- 
tinued our  journey  to  a  camp-meeting  near  George-Town, 
where  we  stopped  and  stayed  until  the  meeting  broke  up. 
Our  horse  was  at  some  person's  place,  to  be  kept,  and  I 
expect  got  nothing  to  eat — for  we  only  went  from  the 
camp-meeting  to  Leesburg,  and  from  there  to  another 
little  town,  which  was  two  short  days'  travel;  but  before 
we  reached  there  he  tired,  and  Lorenzo  was  obliged  to 
trade  him  away  for  an  old  horse  that  was  not  worth  but 
a  little  more  than  half  as  much  !  However,  he  answered 
our  purpose,  so  that  we  got  on  to  New  York,  where  I  met 
with  some  friends  that  I  had  seen  before ;  which  were 
Che  first /ace^  that  I  had  met  with  for  two  years  that  I 


THE  WILDERNESS,  31 

had  ever  beheld  before,  which  gave  me  much  satisfac- 
tion ! 

We  stayed  at  New  York  for  several  weeks,  and  then 
started  lor  New  England,  to  visit  Lorenzo's  father.  I 
had  never  seen  him,  nor  any  of  the  family,  except  one 
sister :  it  was  a  very  great  cross  to  me ;  but  we  arrived 
at  his  father's  some  time  in  September,  and  was  joy-' 
fully  received  by  him,  there  being  none  of  the  family 
with  them,  except  one  daughter,  and  one  grandson. 
There  my  Lorenzo  could  contemplate  the  days  oi  youth  ; 
for  that  was  the  place  of  his  birtli,  and  of  his  rambles  in 
ckildhood :  the  place  where  he  first  sought  the  path  of 
rig/Ueous?iess — the  way  to  peace  and  true  happiness,  iii 
this  world  and  that  which  is  to  come!  The  iiouse  from 
where  his  honoured  mother  had  taken  iier  flight  to  a  hap- 
pier dine — where  once  he  had  enjoyed  her  company, 
with  the  rest  of  the  family ;  but  now  were  separated 
hundreds  of  miles  asunder  ! 

Lorenzo  held  several  meetings  in  the  neighbourhood, 
and  had  tolerable  solemn  limes:  but  the  society  that  he 
once  belonged  to  was  quite  gone!  Some  hud  died,  aud 
others  had  moved  away,  while  others  had  gone  hack  into 
the  world,  and  lost  their  love  to  Christ  and  his  cause, 
which  made  him  feel  very  awful  !  His  father  was  a 
worthy  old  man,  a  kind  friend,  an  adectionate  parent — he 
was  every  thing  that  was  good  in  l)i->  family.  I  thought 
I  cou.d  have  done  the  part  of  a  child  for  him,  if  I  migiit 
have  the  privilege;  but  I  felt  a  strong  desire  to  see  my 
sister,  in  the  IMississippi. 

We  went  to  Toll  ind,  where  Lorenzo  had  sent  aa 
appointment  to  preach  at  a  Methodist  meeting-house,  and 
I  did  not  expect  to  return  to  his  father's  any  more;  but 
Lorenzo's  si%ter  from  Vermont  coming  down  to  her 
father's,  we  returned,  and  stayed  two  or  three  days  longer. 

Lorenzo  sold  his  gig  and  horse  to  a  preacher,  and 
bought  his  brother-in-law's  horses,  to  return  to  NeiD 
York^  where  he  had  made  an  engagement  with  a  man 
to  make  him  a  light  wagon,  which  v^-^s  to  be  ready  oa 
his  return  for  the  iSouth. 

We  left  his  father's  on  horse-bsck,  after  bidding  them 
farev.'ell :  but  as  I  had  not  been  accustomed  lo  travel  in 
that  mode  for  a  Iod^;  ume,  it  wa:>  very  fatiguing  to  me^ 


32  VICISSITUDES  IN 

so  that  1  could  not  endure  it ;  and  when  I  got  withia 
about  forty  miles  ol"  New  York,  I  was  obliged  to  go  by 
■water  the  remainder  of  the  way,  while  Lorenzo  rode  one 
horse  and  led  the  other.  He  arrived  there  some  time 
before  me,  and  had  gone  to  ihe  country,  about  ten  or 
twelve  miles  from  the  city,  ta  preach,  but  returned  that 
night.  We  stayed  a  week  or  more  until  our  wa^on  was 
ready  for  us  to  start ;  then  bidding  our  friends  farewell^ 
proceeded  on  our  journey. 

Lorenzo  had  given  out  appoinimeiats  all  the  way  ta 
Virginia,  and  had  tolerable  hard  work  to  keep  up  withL 
them — we  had  to  travel  nearly  one  whole  night  over  the- 
mountain  from  Frederick-Town  to  the  Potomac  river,- 
which  we  crossed  about  two  o'clock  in  the  momfng.- 

Lorenzo's  appointment  was  some  distance  the  other 
side  of  the  river ;  we  lay  down,  and  as  soon  as  it  was- 
light  we  started  again,  and  reached  the  court-house  just 
as  the  people  had  assembled.  I  went  to-a  friend's  house, 
while  Lorenzo  preached  to  the  people.  After  meeting 
we  went  on  to  tlie  next  appointment,  where  he  preached 
again  at  night  also:  and  so  continued  on  our  journey, 
until  we  arrived  in  Virginia.  Lorenzo  preached  every 
day,  once,  and  twice,  and  three  times ;  and  when  we 
arrived  at  Winchester,  he  preached  twice  to  large  con- 
gregations. From  thence  we  went  to  a  Camp-Meeting^ 
where  I  saw  brother  Grober,  a  presiding  elder,  that  I  had 
been  acquainted  with  a  number  of  years  ago.  which  was 
very  satisfactory  to  me. 

We  l^eftthe  camp-ground  in  the  morning  for  ♦S'town/ow, 
where  Lorenzo  had  an  appointment  at  night.  It  was 
threatening  to  rain  in  the  morning  when  we  started,  and 
about  twelve  o'clock  it  began,  and  rained  almost  as  fast 
as  I  ever  saw  it :  we  were  in  an  open  wagon,  and  I  was 
wet  through  and  through.  As  it  continued  to  rain  exces- 
sively all  the  afternoon,  when  we  arrived  at  Staunton  it 
was  almost  dark,  and  the  people  had  assembled  for  meet- 
ing; Lorenzo  had  not  time  to  take  any  refreshment,  but 
went  and  preached  in  his  wet  clothes.  We  were  received 
with  coolness  by  the  family  that  we  stayed  with,  although 
he  was  acquainted  Avith  them  before — tut  that  is  nothing^ 
uncommon ;  man  is  so  changeable  in  his  nature,  that  we 
may  find  him  at  one  time  all  friendship,  and  perhaps  the 


THE  WILDERNESS.  33 

next  day  he  is  as  cool  as  need  be.  Hence  I  have  found 
it  necessary  to  strive  to  lake  it  as  it  comes  ;  to  be  thank- 
ful for  friends,  when  I  find  them;  and  to  be  satisfied 
when  I  have  them  not. 

It  was  on  Saturday  night  that  we  got  to  Staunton,  and 
Lorenzo  intended  to  stay  until  Monday  morning.  On 
Sunday  morning  brother  Wade  came  from  New  London 
to  meet  us,  and  carry  me  home  with  him  ;  and  Lorenzo 
had  calculated  on  leaving  me  at  Hobson^s,  in  Cumber- 
laud,  while  he  went  to  the  Mississippi  territory  ;  conse- 
quently he  thought  it  best  for  me  to  go  to  New  London 
with  brother  Wade,  who  was  anxious  for  me  to  go  and 
stay  with  his  wife  a  few  months,  as  she  was  a  stranger 
in  this  country  ;  and  my  coming  to  America  in  company 
with  her,  it  made  us  like  sisters  indeed.  It  vv^as  a  trial 
to  my  mind  to  part  with  my  companion  for  nine  or  ten 
months ;  as  I  did  not  expect  to  be  with  him  but  a  few 
days,  even  if  I  went  on  to  Cumberland  with  him,  as  he 
then  must  leave  me,  and  start  for  the  country  where  my 
sister  lived;  accordingly  we  parted,  and  I  went  home 
with  brother  Wade.  This  was  on  Sunday,  and  he  was 
to  leave  Staunton  the  next  morning.  My  spirits  were 
very  much  depressed ;  but  I  did  not  know  what  laid 
before  me.  I  arrived  in  New  London  in  safety,  and  was 
kindly  received  by  sister  Wade,  and  had  got  tolerably 
composed,  when  I  received  a  letter  from  Lorenzo,  which 
gave  me  an  account  of  the  imprudence  of  my  sister  that 
lived  in  the  Mississippi — but  it  was  in  so  dark  a  style 
that  I  did  not  comprehend  it  fully,  as  I  could  not  believe 
that  she  would  be  guilty  of  such  enormities.  I, thought 
.some  one  had  charged  her  without  grounds:  that  was 
some  consolation  to  me,  as  I  hoped  it  was  not  true.  I 
was  in  hopes  that  he  would  come  through  New  London, 
and  give  me  a  more  full  account  of  the  circumstance  ; 
but  he  could  not,  consistently  with  his  arrangements.  I 
was  in  great  distress  of  mind  on  her  account,  as  she  had 
been  a  great  professor  of  religion,  and  the  cause  must 
sufier  by  her  falling  so  foully :  and  the  disgrace  attending; 
it  was  almost  unbearable.  Brother  Mead  and  his  wife 
came  through  New  London  on  their  way  to  Georgia, 
and  brought  the  news  that  Lorenzo  was  not  coming 
ihrough  3iat  place,  which  made  my  heart  almost  siak 


34  VICISSITUDES  IN 

within  me,     1  felt  as  though  the  trial  was  more  than  I 
could  bear — but  this  was  but  the  beginning  of  sorrow. 

I  stayed  at  brother  Wade's  for  more  t'han  two  months, 
and  was  kindly  treated  by  him  and  his  wife,  and  many 
others  ;  and  had  many  good  times  in  meeting  with  the 
children  of  God,  to  worship  him.  The  letter  that  I  had 
received  from  Lorenzo  in  Cumberland,  had  stated  that 
my  sister  had  been  guilty  of  very  improper  conduct,  but 
that  she  was  penitent.  But  when  Lorenzo  got  to  Georgia, 
he  received  a  letter  from  brother  Biackinmi^  stating  that 
she  had  escaped  from  her  husband  with  a  young  man, 
and  had  gone  over  the  line  into  the  Spanish  country,  to 
elade  the  displeasure  of  their  connexions.  It  was  then 
an  undeniable  fact  that  she  was  really  guilty — and  Lo- 
renzo wrote  to  me  from  Georgia  a  full  account  of  the 
circarastancsj  v/hich  gave  me  the  severest  wound  that  I 
had  ever  felt.  To  have  heard  of  her  death. -Q  hov/  much 
more  preferable  ! — bat  I  had  no  other  way,  but  must  sub- 
mit. My  dear  sister,  that  lay  so  near  my  heart,  had 
strayed  so  widely  from  the  path  of  rectitude— it  was 
sach  a  heart-reriding  afRiction.  I  thought  it  was  almost 
mere  than  1  f!Ouid  bear  F-'It  appeared  impossible  that  she 
iouid  he  so  far  lost  to  her  own  honour,  arid  tAe  Ipve  that 
she  had  manifested  to  the  cause  cf  God,  and  the  pros- 
perity ot-  Zion,  as  to  be  guilty  of  such  an  atroci^pUiS  crim^. 
But  so  it  is,  that  some  who  make  the  greatest  show  o; 
religion,  wound  it  the  deepest.  So  it  was  in  this  case  : 
She  had  professed  to  have  experienced  the  blessing  of 
jeiigioR  for  many  years  ;  and  was  as  much  opposed  to 
any  tiling  that  had  the  appearance  of  iinvrudence  in  her 
own  Scrx,  as  any  person  that  ever  I  knew/  She  was  mar- 
ried wiien  young  to  a  man  that  was  inferior  to  her,  in 
point  of  talents,  and  was  not  calculated  to  get  the  world, 
a3  the  saying  is,  as  much  as  many  other;; — and  she  pos^ 
sassed  a  very  proud  spirit,  together  with  a  very  quick 
temper;  anl  he  not  having  as  mild  a  disposition  as  might 
be,  they  were  unhappy  in  their  union,  which  was  attended 
with  many  disagreements.  He  was  subject  to  intoxica- 
tion, and  that  was  frequently  the  cause  of  much  misery 
between  them  !  I  was  witness,  many  times,  to  such  con- 
duct on  both  sides  that  gave  me  the  greatest  pain  of  any 
ghing  that  could  iiave  befallen  rae.    I  often  would  beg 


THE  WILDERNESS.  35 

my  sister  to  say  nothing^  but  her  turbulent  dispo;  a 
Was  such,  that  I 'have  thought  she  would  almost  ier 
death,  rattier  than  submit  taauy  one. 

They  lived  in  that  way  for  many  years. — S.  j  was 
very  industrious,  and  strove  hard  to  live  ;  but  he  was 
negligent,  and  ohen  spent  more  than  he  made  !  They 
removed,  when  they  were  first  married,  into  the  state  of 
New  York^  about  ninety  miles  from  the  place  of  their 
nativity,  where  they  lived  five  or  six  years  ;  she  had 
religion  at  that  time,  and  he  oppesed  her  very  much,  as 
she  had  joined  the  Baptist  church  before  she  left  Neic 
England;  but  after  leaving  her  Christian  friends,  and 
having  so  much  opposition,  she  had  lost  her  religion 
almost  entirely,  and  become  like  the  rest  of  the  world. 
At  that  time  the  Methodists  came  into  the  neighbour- 
hood, and  she  became  acquainted  with  them,  and  would 
have  joined  their  society,  but  her  husband  would  not  per- 
mit it — but  she  attended  their  meetings,  and  was  much 
engaged  at  that  time.  My  brother-in-law  took  it  into  his 
head  to  remove  to  Foi-t  Stanwix,  on  the  Mohawk  river, 
within  seventy  or  eighty  miles  of  the  line  of  Canada^ 
and  she  backslid  again,  not  having  any  to  converse  with 
but  those  that  were  unacquainted  with  God  or  them- 
selves !  O  how  prone  we  are  to  forget  the  obligations 
we  are  under  to  our  Saviour,  notwithstanding  it  is  on  his 
bounty  we  live  !  we  are  indebted  to  him  for  every  mercy 
that  we  enjoy  !  She  continued  to  live  in  that  careless 
way  for  several  years,  until  I  was,  perhaps,  eighteen 
years  of  age,  and  the  Methodists  found  her  out  again, 
and  I  got  under  distress  for  my  soul:  and  she  was  stirred 
up  again,  and  I  believe  had  religion.  My  brother-in-law 
opposed  qs  with  all  his  might.  They  had  got  in  a  toler- 
able good  way  before  this,  and  there  was  a  prospect  that 
they  might  live  comfortable,  as  to  the  things  of  this  life  ; 
but  he  possessed  such  an  uneasy  disposition,  that  he 
could  never  be  satisfied  unless  he  was  trading^  and  he 
had  but  a  poor  talent  for  that  business.  He  sold  his 
plantation,  that  he  could  have  made  a  comfortable  living 
upon,  to  a  man  that  was  a  sharper,  on  trust,  and  took  no 
security — the  man  sold  his  property,  a^^u  leared  himself, 
without  making  any  compensation  for  the  land.  This 
was  a  very  great  afflictioa  to  my  sister,  as  she  had  made 


m  VICISSITUDES  IN 

ever)'  exertion  for  a  living  that  a  woman  could  do,  and 
strove  in  every  way  she  could  to  prevent  his  selling  his 
place— but  all  to  no  purpose.  He  carried  on  a  great 
stroke  at  driniving,  and  spending  his  time  for  nought:  she 
was'  harrassed  and  troubled  on  every  side,  not  enjoying 
that  satisfaction  in  religion  she  had  formerly  done — it 
made  her  truly  wretched !  I  strove  to  comfort  her  in 
every  way  that  I  could. — We  supported  the  family  by 
our  labour,  Aveaving,  spinning,  and  sewing,  and  any  kind 
of  work  that  we  could  do. 

This  continued  for  more  than  twelve  months,  and  then 
he  took  a  little  farm  of  about  fifty  acres  of  land,  with  a 
comfortable  house  for  a  small  family,  that  suited  us  very 
well;  the  rent  being  small,  he  could  have  lived  as  well 
as  need  be,  if  he  would  have  been  industrious.  He  was 
of  a  turn  that  was  rather  indolent  and  careless,  but  my 
sister  and  myself  kept  the  family  in  tolerable  comfortable 
circumstances. 

It  was  at  that  time  that  the  Methodist  preachers  came 
into  the  neighbourhood,  and  preached  the  gospel  to  poor 
lost  sirmers — my  heart  was  wrought  upon,  and  I  set  out 
to  seek  the  salvation  of  my  soiU.  My  sister  heard  the 
pleasing  sound  with  gladness,  but  my  brother-in-law  was 
violently  opposed  to  them,  and  strove  in  every  way  that 
he  could  to  prevent  us  from  going  to  meeting ;  but  I  felt 
determined  to  seek  the  Lord  vnth  all  my  heart,  come 
what  would,  and  strive  to  save  my  soul !  It  was  near 
twelve  months  before  I  joined  Society,  or  my  sister;  but 
at  last  we  broke  through  and  joined  the  people  called 
Methodists — and  I  have  never  seen  the  time  that  I  was 
sorry  that  I  cast  my  lot  with  them  ;  but  I  have  often 
lamented  that  I  did  not  live  nearer  to  the  gospel  rules 
that  they  teach ! 

After  we  had  joined  society,  my  brother-in-law  became 
somewhat  more  softened,  and  let  us  have  more  peace, 
and  would  sometimes  go  to  meeting ;  but  he  still  con- 
tinued to  go  in  the  same  evil  practice  of  spending  his 
time  in  the  most  unprofitable  way — but  the  preachers 
and  people  that  feared  God  ceased  not  to  pray  for  him, 
and  at  last  he  was  brought  to  see  his  situation,  and  the 
danger  of  living  in  sin,  and  set  about  the  work  of  his 
own  salvation ;  and  I  doubt  not  but  he  experienced  the 


THE  WILDERNESS.  37 

pardon  of  his  sins.  O  the  joy  that  was  felt  on  this  occa- 
sion !  we  had,  as  it  were,  a  heaven  begun  below  !  He 
became  a  new  man,  and  Providence  seemed  to  bless  us 
on  every  side — and  we  continued  to  enjoy  the  consola- 
tions of  religion  for  several  years,  and  the  Lord  pros- 
pered us  in  all  our  undertakings  until  after  I  was  married; 
and  they  started  for  the  JMississippi,  and  my  husband 
and  myself  parted  with  them:  we  were  coming  for  New 
York,  and  from  thence  to  sail  for  Europe. 

They  went  to  that  country,  and  it  appeared  they  left 
all  the  prudence  that  they  ever  possessed  behind  them ; 
for  when  they  arrived,  he,  it  appeared,  thought  that  he 
could  launch  into  building  milU\  not  counting  the  cost 
that  he  must  be  at,  but  calcalaiing  that  Lorenzo,  when 
he  returned  from  his  tour  in  Europe,  would  pay  all 
expenses — he  ran  into  debt  for  land  that  had  a  mill  sejit 
upon  it,  and  began  to  erect  a  mill. 

Some  people  were  much  pleased  with  them,  as  they 
appeared  to  be  engaged  in  religion.  My  sister  was  very 
much  respected  by  the  people,  both  religious  and  irre- 
ligious— but  O  the  danger  we  are  exposed  to  while  in 
this  world.  She  was  possessed  of  good  natural  abilities, 
and  considerable  acquired  knowledge,  and  was  the  last 
person  I  should  have  thought  would  have  conducted  in 
the  way  she  did ;  but  we  have  need  to  vxitch  and  pray, 
lest  we  enter  into  temptation.  She  had  lived  with  her 
husband  for  twenty  years  at  least,  and  I  never  heard  or 
knew  any  thing  laid  to  her  charge  of  that  nature,  before 
or  after  her  marriage — and  she  had  been  a  guide  to  me  in 
my  youth,  and  1  suppose,  possessed  as  great  a  sense  of 
honour  as  any  person  I  ever  knew.  But  how  it  was  I 
cannot  tell :  she  fell  into  a  snare  of  the  enemy,  and 
became  a  prey  to  the  most  unaccountable  of  all  vices. 
There  was  a  young  man,  that  was  a  most  abandoned 
character  in  principle,  that  was  taken  into  the  family, 
that  she  was  fond  of  by  some  means  ;  and  there  was  a 
criminal  intercourse  between  them  for  several  months 
before  it  was  discovered.  She  was  in  society,  and 
thought  to  be  very  pious,  but  at  last  it  was  mistrusted 
by  some,  and  a  plan  laid  to  detect  them,  v/hich  was 
accomplished — and  when  it  was  proved  upon  her,  she 
gave  some  marks  of  penitence,  and  her  husband  would 
3 


38  f  rcissrruDEB  m 

have  made  friends  with  her;  but  when  the  devil  gets  fie' 
advantage  oi'  poor  infatuated  mortals,  he  makes  the  best 
inaprovement  of  it  in  bis  power.  So  it  was  in  this-  case  ;■ 
for  I  expect  her  sorrow  was  but  slight,  if  she  was  in  the' 
least  affected  with  sorrow— for  as  soon  as  she  found  that 
Lorenzo  and  myself  had  returned  to  America,  she  laid 
every  plan  to  make  her  escape  with  that  wretched  young- 
man,  into  the  Spanish  country,  v/hich  she  effected,  and* 
kft  her  husband  in  a  state  of  mind  almost  frantic  :  he  had 
more  affection  for  her  than  I  once  thought  him  capable 
of.  He  went  after  her,  and  strove  to  get  her  to  returnj- 
But  she  v/ould  n-ot.  I  do  not  think  there  evei  was  as  per- 
manent a  union  between  them  as  was  necessary  for 
happiness,  O  the  misery  of  many  that  are  joined  in  the 
hoiy  bands  of  matrimony :  for  the  want  of  due  con- 
sideration they  rush  into  that  state,  and  are  wretched  for 
life. 

When  she  completed  her  wicked  plan,  information 
Was  communicated  to  us— my  Lorenzo  had  left  me,  and 
started  for  that  country.  No  one  can  paint  the  heart-felt 
sorrow  that  I  experienced  on  receiving  the  information  i 
I  felt  as  though  I  was  deprived  of  almost  all  my  earthly 
comfort !  1  felt  I  could  not  believe  it  possible  that  she 
could  have  acted  in  that  miserable,  disgraceful  manner ; 
t>ut  it  was  even  sol  Many  have  been  the  nights  that  I 
have  wet  my  pillow  with  tears  upon  her  account,  but  ail 
fo  no  purpose.  O  that  it  may  be  a  warning  to  me  to 
watch  and  pr.3iy,  lest  I  enter  into  temptation !  Lorenzo 
went  on,  and  found  my  poor  brother-in-lavrin  a  wretched 
state  of  mind,  and  every  thing  tha-t  he  had  was  in  a 
ruinous  condition ;  and  furthermore,  they  had  run  so 
deeply  in  debt  that  it  was  irai»ossible  for  my  brother-in- 
law  to  extricate  himself  from  it.  He  had  made  a  con- 
tract with  a  couple  of  girls  for  a  trac:t  of  land  that  had  a 
mill-seat  upon  it,  and  began  to  build  a  mill,  without  a 
title  to  the  land !  When  Lorenzo  came,  he  wished 
Lorenzo  to  assist  him  to  procure  the  land,  that  he  might 
not  be  in  danger  of  losing  his  labour.  Lorenzo  felt  a 
very  great  reluctance  to  engage  in  any  thing  of  the  kind, 
but  by  the  persuasion  of  friends  he  was  prevailed  upon 
to  make  a  contract  with  the  girls  for  the  land,  and  like- 
wise paid  the  old  man  for  his  labourj  as  he  desired  to 


THE  WILDERNESS.  3t 

«tum  to  the  state  of  New  York.  There  was  consider- 
able less  th-an  one  hundred  acres,  with  a  log  cabin  upon, 
it — he  paid  a  very  enormous  price,  which  was  a  great 
disadvantage  ;  as  Lorenzo  was  not  a  man  that  felt  % 
freedom  to  have  mitch  te  do  with  the  world,  ex<!ept  when 
he  could  not  well  avoid  it.  After  he  got  the  place,  he 
scarcely  knew  what  to  do  with  it:  The  mill  was  not 
iinished  ;  there  was  a  dam  and  mill  frame,  but  the  dara 
had  broke, and  it  was  uncertain  whether  it  could  be  made 
to  stand,  as  the  banks  of  the  stream  that  it  was  erected 
'On  were  so  subject  to  wash  in  times  of  high  water- 
There  was  a  man  who  thought  he  could  make  it  stand : 
■Lorenzo  made  an  offer  to  him  of  the  place,  if  he  would 
take  it,  and  make  a  mill  upon  it,  he  should  have  one  half 
■of  the  mill.  Accordingly  he  undertook,  and  repaired  the 
dam,  so  that  it  sawed  some  that  winter-  He  intended  to 
tear  up  the  old  foundation,  and  build  entirely  on  another 
plan — and  was  to  have  the  use  of  the  old  mill  until  he 
should  get  the  other  finished. 

People  in  -that  cGuatry  appeared  anxious  that  Lorenzo 
should  come  to  that  part  of  the  world,  and  get  a  residences 
Xhey  taHced  that  they  would  assist  iis  in  any  thing  that 
we  needed  ;  a'nd  as  Lorenzo  thought  th«t  it  might  be 
best  to  prepare  for  sickness,  and  for  whatever  might 
befall  us,  he  concluded  to  come  for  me  and  bring  me 
with  Jiim  to  that  country.  I  had  felt  a  great  desire  to  go 
to  the  Mississippi,  before  my  friends  had  conducted  them- 
iselves  in  that  wretched  way,  but  now  I  felt  a  relujctance 
to  goings  for  it  appeared  to  me  that  I  eould  not  hold  up 
my  head  in  the  place,  where  my  ovv'n  sister  had  disgraced 
herself  and  me.  My  heart  recoiled  at  the  thought  of 
^eing  a  mark,  as  I  knew  I  must,  for  people  to  look  at. 
2ind  say.  That  is  a  sister  to  such  a  woman;  and  she  had 
been  guilty  of  an  odious  criroe.  But  as  my  Lorenzo 
thought  it  would  be  best  for  me  to  go,  I  made  no  objec- 
tion. He  returned  m  June  to  Cumberlami,  ia  Virginia^ 
and  we  started  for  the  Norths  and  went  on  to  New  York, 
where  we  stayed  a  few  days — and  from  thence  to  Albany, 
where  Lorenzo  left  me,  and  xrontinued  to  journey  on  to 
his  father^s,  in  Conneciicut^  Jjeing  gone  six  or  sevea 
weeks. 

i  stayed  ia  Albany  part  of  the  time,  aad  Troy^  and  I 
3* 


40  VICISSITUDES  IN 

also  went  to  see  my  brother,  that  lived  ne^ir  Schenectady  f 
he  did  not  profess  religion,  but  was  friendly  to  it — I  stayed 
there  a  few  days. 

There  was  a  Cawp-Meeting  withiri  eight  or  ten  miles, 
where  I  expected  to  meet  Lorenzo:  my  brother  and  his 
wife  went  with  me  to  the  place  on  the  commencement 
of  it,  and  there  to  my  great  joy  I  met  my  companion^ 
with  many  others  of  my  acquaintance,  that  I  had  been 
acquainted  with  many  years  before.  The  meeting  was 
attended  with  good  to  many — we  stayed  intil  the  close, 
and  then  we  went  with  some  very  kind  friends  to  Troy^ 
wko  gave  Lorenzo  a  good  suit  of  clothes,  and  were  as 
affectionate  to  us  as  people  could  be. 

My  brother-in-law,  who  came  from  the  Mississippi, 
had  been  to  the  place  that  he  left  when  he  removed  to 
the  South;  was  at  the  meeting,  and  came  down  to  Troy 
after  us,  as  Lorenzo  Avas  to  let  him  have  some  books  on 
the  account  of  his  labour  at  the  Mississippi — he  did  so — 
but  this  was  not  the  end  of  trouble  to  us.  It  gave  me 
inexpressible  pain  to  see  the  man  that  I  thought  had  been 
the  cause,  in  one  sense,  of  the  destruction  of  my  poor 
sister;  for  he  had  bfen  an  unkind  husband  in  the  days 
that  were  past.  Although  I  could  not  excuse  her,  yet  I 
believe,  if  he  had  done  as  he  ought,  she  never  would 
have  become  what  stie  did.  But  they  were  not  equally 
yoked  together :  he  had  some  good  traits  in  his  character, 
but  he  was  indolent,  and  a  bad  economist, — consequently 
kept  them  behind  hand.  She  was  industrious,  and  would 
have  managed  well,  if  she  had  been  united  to  a  man  that 
would  have  stood  in  his  place,  and  made  her  known^  and 
kept  her's — for  she  possessed  a  turbulent  disposition. 
But  he  was  neither  a  good  husband,  nor  a  good  manager: 
that  made  her  fret  at  him,  and  he  would  not  take  it  from 
her.  Thus  it  was  a  means  of  their  living  a  consider- 
able part  ot  their  time  in  discontent :  but  after  they  both 
experienced  religion,  they  lived  more  agreeable,  until 
they  removed  to  the  Mississippi,  and  she  fell  in  with  that 
young  man,  who  proved  her  ruin.* 


*  From  a  train  of  circnmsiances,  which  correppond  and  hang 
together  like  a  chain  of  truth,  it  appears,  that  there  was  a  combination 


THE  WILDERNESS.  41 

We  parted  with  our  friends  at  Troy,  after  getting  a 
small  wagon  and  two  horses,  and  what  litfle  we  couLd 
get  together,  and  started  across  i?iie  country  to  the  Western 
waters,  in  company  with  a  young  man  that  came  with  us 
from  Europe,  and  a  brother  Valentine,  from  the  state  of 
New  York,  who  wished  to  go  to  that  country.  We  tra- 
velled with  as  little  expense  as  possible,  through  the 
state  of  Pennsylvania,  and  struck  the  Ohio  River  at 
Wheeling,  where  we  stayed  for  near  two  weeks,  at  a 
Quaker's,  who  was  very  kind  to  me.  Lorenzo  strove 
to  get  a  passage  in  a  flat- bottomed  boat,  where  they 
frequently  took  horses,  carriages,  and  produce,  with  fami- 
lies that  are  wishing  to  remove  to  that  country — but  he 
could  not  obtain  one  that  would  take  his  horses,  conse- 
quently he  was  under  the  necessity  of  taking  his  horses 
through  by  land :  he  met  with  a  person  who  was  going 
down  the  river  with  a  loaded  barge  to  Natchez — they 
engaged  to  carry  me  with  some  trunks,  and  other  baggage. 
These  people  were  friendly  Quakers,  who  owned  the 
boat  that  Lorenzo  had  engaged  my  passage  in.  But  they 
were  not  ready  to  sail  for  some  time  3  accordingly  Lorenzo 
left  me  with  the  young  man  that  came  with  us  from 
Europe,  to  go  down  the  river  in  this  boat,  while  he  went 
on  by  land.  I  felt  very  gloomy  to  be  left  among  strangers, 
and  to  go  on  board  a  boat  w^ith  a  company  of  men,  with- 
out one  woman  for  a  companion. 

But  the  people  in  Wheeling  were  very  kind  to  me 
while  I  stayed  there,  after  Lorenzo  left  me,  which  gave 
me  much  satistaction.  They  provided  me  with  many 
necessaries  for  the  voyage,  such  as  sugar,  and  tea,  and 
other  things  to  make  me  comfortable,  for  which  may  the 
Lord  reward  them. 

I  stayed  at  W^heeling  between  one  and  two  weeks  after 
Lorenzo  left  me.  In  that  time  the  people  who  owned 
the  boat  sold  it  to  a  couple  of  doctors  from  Virginia^ 


of  Deists,  one  of  whom  was  a  physician,  sought  the  overthrow  of 
the  family :  through  the  object  of  temfora]  gain,  (they  being  a  family 
connection  of  those  who  owned  the  mill-seat,)  and  lo  bring  a  stigma 
upon  the  cause  of  religion  !— She  was  consiUefftbly  over  forty  year* 
ei  a^Ql  this  time  of  l^r  life  I 

4 


42  VICISSITUDES  IN 

with  all  that  appertained  to  it ;  but  they  made  a  resen'e 
for  me  still  to  go  in  the  boat.  This  was  a  very  trying 
time  to  rae :  the  people  that  owned  the  boat,  when 
Lorenzo  applied  for  me  to  go  down  in  it,  were  plain 
Q,uakers,  and  they  promised  Lorenzo  to  take  good  care 
of  me  ;  but  the  man  that  had  bought  the  boat  was  quite 
of  a  diiferent  appearance,  although  he  was  in  a  gentle- 
man's garb.  The  young  man  that  was  with  me  went  a3 
a  hand  to  help  work  the  boat;~we  went  on  board  at 
evening—the  barge  was  laden  with  flour  and  cider,  and 
various  kinds  of  produce  that  were  fitted  for  the  A^ai- 
chez  j—there  Avas  a  small  cabin,  where  there  were  two 
births,  where  three  or  four  persons  might  sleep  tolerably 
comfortable.  There  I  was  obliged  to  rest  at  night:  and 
there  was  a  small  vacancy  between  this  cabin  and  the 
other  part  of  the  boat,  where  they  had  run  up  a  small 
chimney,  where  they  could  cook  provisions.  In  this 
gloomy  situation,  I  was  fixed  to  start  for  the  Missis- 
sippi, w^here  I  knew  I  must  meet  with  many  trials,  if 
ever  1  should  reach  there. 

The  river,  at  the  time  v/hen  we  started,  was  very  low, 
and  we  made  but  slow  progress  for  many  days  together. 
I  could  not  set  my  foot  on  land — shut  up  in  a  boat,  with 
none  but  men,  and  those  of  that  class  who  neither  feared 
God  or  man:  though  they,  for  the  iiiost  part,  treated  me 
with  ciLuUty.  None  can  tell  how  disagreeable  such  a 
situation  is,  but  those  who  have  passed  through  some 
things  similar. 

We  left  Wheeling  about  the  last  of  October.  The 
boat  stopped  at  Lymestone  in  Kentucky^  for  part  of  one 
day  and  a  night :  there  Lorenzo  had  some  acquaintances  ; 
and  when  they  found  out  that  I  was  on  board  of  this 
boat,  some  oi  them  came  down  to  see  me,  and  invited 
me  to  go  on  shore  and  stay  the  night,  which  I  accepted 
with  thankfulness. 

I  had  some  hope  that  Lorenzo  would  arrive  there 
before  the  boat  would  start  in  the  morning.  O  how 
anxiously  I  looked  out  for  him,  but  he  did  not  come — 
and  had  to  go  on  board  the  boat  very  early  in  the  mor- 
ning, and  continue  on  my  journey  with  a  very  heavy 
heart.  My  mind  was  much  depressed — the  prospects 
before  me  were  dark,  when  I  should  reach  my  place  of 


THE  WILDERNESS,  43 

destination :  and  the  weather  was  uncommonly  cold  for 
that  climate  and  season. 

After  being  confined  on  board  of  the  boat  for  six  weeks, 
we  reached  the  mouth  of  Byopeare,  about  twelve  miles 
from  Gibson  Port,  which  was  forty  miles  from  Natchez, 
We  left  the  boat,  myself  and  the  young  man  that  was 
with  me — took  our  things  to  a  public  house  ;  but  that  was 
ten  or  twelve  miles  from  the  place  that  we  wished  to  get. 
I  had  never  been  in  that  country  before,  but  Lorenzo  had 
several  times  ;  and  hence  I  had  some  grounds  to  exjiect  I 
should  find  some  friends,  as  many  of  them  had  manifested 
a  desire  that  I  should  come  to  that  country :  but  my  sister 
had  conducted  in  such  a  manner,  that  it  made  my  way 
difficult;  and  how  to  get  to  the  neighbourhood  that  I 
wished  to  go  to,  I  did  not  know. 

However,  brother  Valentine,  that  came  with  us  from 
the  slate  of  Neio  .York,  travelled  by  land  with  Lorenzo 
as  far  as  Lymestone,  and  then  put  his  horse  on  board  of 
a  boat,  and  worked  his  passage  down  to  the  same  place 
that  I  was  at.  I  landed  at  night,  and  he  came  in  the 
morning— so  that  I  was  provided  for.  We  left  our  things 
at  this  public  house,  and  I  rode  the  horse,  while  he  and 
the  young  man  walked  about  twelve  miles  through  the 
mud.  This  was  about  the  twelfth  of  January.  We 
stayed  at  Gibson  Port  that  night,  about  four  miles  from 
the  place  where  my  sister  had  lived,  and  brought  such  a 
stain  on  the  cause  of  religion.  We  were  all  strangers ; 
but  Lorenzo  had  wrote  to  some  friends  that  we  were 
coming — and  furthermore,  he  had  requested  them  if  I 
should  arrive  before  him,  that  they  would  take  care  of  me 
until  he  should  come. 

We  left  Gibson  Port  and  went  to  the  neighbourhood 
of  the  mill,  to  the  house  of  Samuel  Cobun.  He  did  not 
profess  religion,  tliough  he  was  very  kind  and  humane  j 
but  he  had  two  sisters,  that  were  members  of  the  Metho- 
dist church.  He  had  no  wife  living,  and  they  lived  with 
him  to  take  care  of  his  family— they  had  been  friends  to 
my  sister,  when  she  first  went  to  that  country.  They 
received  me,  apparently  with  affection,  which  was  a  con- 
solation to  my  heart ;  for  I  expected  to  meet  with  many 
a  cool  look  on  the  account  of  my  poor  unfortunate  sister ; 
which  I  expect  I  did  ;  but  I  do  not  blame  them)  as  it  had 


44  VICISSITUDES  IN 

given  them  so  much  pain — ^but  1  could  not  help  it.  How- 
ever, I  stayed  at  Mr.  Cobun's  until  Lorenzo  came ;  as 
those  that  professed  religion  seemed  not  to  take  much 
notice  of  me.  When  Lorenzo  left  me  at  Wheeling,  he 
went  on  through  the  states  of  Ohio^  Kentucky^  and  Ten.' 
nessee,  and  so  on  through  the  Indian  country  to  the 
Mississippi  territory. 

A  man  that  was  a  Methodist  and  preached,  who  had 
appeared  very  friendly  to  Lorenzo  in  days  that  were  past, 
to  whom  Lorenzo  had  written,  and  requested  him,  if  I 
should  reach  there  before  him.  that  this  friend  would  per- 
mit me  to  stay  with  him.  until  he  should  arrive  !  But  he 
did  not  seem  very  anxious  that  I  should  stay  at  his  house: 
he  came  over  to  Mr.  Cobun's,  which  was  six  or  seven 
miles,  to  see  me,  and  requested  me  to  come  and  see 
them;  as  though  I  had  been  fixed  in  a  comfortable  situa- 
tion, with  every  thing  that  I  needed.  But  it  was  quite 
the  reverse  with  me ;  I  had  neither  house  nor  friends  in 
that  country,  without  the  people  chose  to  befriend  me.  I 
was  a  stranger  in  a  strange  land  ;  in  the  neighbourhood, 
where  my  nearest  relatives  had  conducted  very  impro- 
perly, and  I  expect  that  was  one  cause  why  the  friends 
kept  so  distant:  however,  the  family  that  I  was  with  was 
very  kind!  I  went  once  to  this  friend's  house,  before 
Lorenzo  arrived,  which  was  somewhere  about  two  weeks  j 
I  stayed  there  one  night,  and  then  returned  to  Mr. 
Cobun's,  where  I  stayed  until  Lorenzo  came  to  me. 

The  winter  had  been  uncommonly  severe,  and  he  had 
a  very  distressing  time  through  the  wilderness,  but  Pro- 
vidence had  brought  him  through  in  safety,  which  was  a 
matter  of  rejoicing  to  my  poor  heart. 

The  cloud  that  had  been  gathering  for  some  time, 
grew  darker  and  darker,  so  that  we  scarcely  knew  which 
way  to  turn,  or  how  to  extricate  ourselves  from  the  diffi- 
culties that  my  imprudent  friends  had  brought  us  into  on 
every  side:  they  had  run  in  debt  to  merchants,  making^ 
the  impression,  that  when  Lorenzo  came  from  Europe, 
he  would  pay  all.  There  was  some  that  had  befriended 
them  on  Lorenzo's  account ;  these  he  felt  it  was  his  duty 
to  compensate,  which  he  did.  My  brother-in-law  had 
made  a  contract  with  some  people  in  that  country  for  a 
tract  of  land,  on  which  was  a  mill-seat  j  and  v/ithout  any 


THE  WILDJSRNESS.  45 

title  whatever,  before  we  returned  from  Europe  he  went 
to  building  a  mill,  which  involved  them  still  deeper  in 
debt ;  and,  after  Lorenzo  returned  from  Europe  and  went 
to  that  country,  which  had  been  nearly  twelve  months 
after,  and  finding  him  in  such  a  distressed  situation,  that 
he,  out  of  pity,  stept  in  to  assist  him  as  a  kind  of  mediator, 
they  cast  lii'e  whole  burthen  on  his  shoulders,  which 
proved  a  heavy  one  to  Lorenzo. 

We  arrived  there  in  January. — We  had  a  couple  of 
tolerable  good  horses,  and  a  small  wagon,  and  some 
money  ;  but  we  were  under  the  necessity  of  parting  with 
them,  and  what  little  money  we  had  was  soon  gone. 
The  old  mill-frame,  which  was  all  that  was  done  to  the 
mill,  Lorenzo  let  a  man  take  on  such  terms  as  these — 
that  he  might  undertake  to  build  a  mill,  if  he  chose, 
without  any  more  expense  to  Lorenzo ;  and  if  he  could 
make  one  stand,  Lorenzo  should  be  entitled  to  one  half. 

We  stayed  with  a  family  near  the  mill  frame  from 
March  until  July ;  in  this  time  I  was  taken  sick  with  the 
fever  that  is  common  in  that  country,  on  the  day  that 
Lorenzo  had  resolved  to  prepare  to  start  for  Georgia,  and 
my  life  was  despaired  of;  and  the  people  that  had  appeared 
60  desirous  that  we  should  come  to  that  country,  forsook 
us ;  and  had  not  the  man  that  was  styled  a  Deist^  that 
first  received  me  into  his  house,  befriended  us  now,  I 
know  not  what  I  should  have  done  ;  his  two  sisters,  Eliza- 
beth and  Ann  Cobun,  were  friends  indeed :  Ann  stayed 
with  me  night  and  day  for  about  three  weeks,  and  then 
we  were  under  the  necessity  of  removing  from  this  house 
somewhere  else ;  and  where  to  go  we  could  not  tell ! 

However,  Mr.  Cobun  gave  us  permission  to  come  and 
stay  at  his  house  as  long  as  we  chose  ;  but  I  was  so  low 
at  that  time  that  I  could  not  sit  up  at  all.  They  sewed 
some  blankets  together  over  a  frame,  similar  to  a  bier  to 
carry  the  dead,  and  layed  a  bed  upon  it,  ami  laid  me 
thereon,  and  two  black  men  conveyed  me  to  his  house, 
which  was  perhaps  a  mile. 

The  next  day  Lorenzo  was  taken  very  ill  also.  There 
we  were  both  confined  to  our  beds,  unable  to  help  each 
other  to  as  much  as  a  drink  of  water.  At  that  time 
Lorenzo  could  not  have  commanded  one  dollar^  to  have 
procured  so  much  as  a  little  medicine* 
5* 


46  VICISSITUDES  IN 

This  was  a  trying  time  ;  and  when  the  storm  would  be 
over,  we  could  not  tell — but  the  Lord  supported  us  under 
these  distressing  circumstances,  or  we  must  have  sunk 
beneath  the  weight.  Forever  praised  be  the  adored  name 
of  our  great  Benefactor  for  all  his  mercies  unto  us. 

My  fever  began  to  abate,  but  Lorenzo  grew  worse  j 
and  it  was  doubtful  which  way  it  would  terminate  with 
him.  O  the  anguish  of  heart  I  felt  at  this  trying  jcrac- 
ture  !  I  was  still  so  low  that  I  could  not  sit  up  but  very 
little,  nor  walk  without  assistance,  and  we  were  altogether 
dependent  on  others  for  the  necessaries  of  life.  Lorenzo 
appeared  to  be  fast  approaching  to  eternity,  but  after 
some  weeks  he  began  to  gain  a  little,  so  that  he  was  able 
to  ride  a  few  miles  at  a  time,  and  we  then  removed  to 
brother  Randal  Gihsoii's,  where  we  stayed  a  few  days. 
I  was  still  unable  to  work,  as  I  then  had  the  common 
ague  and  fever :  which  kept  me  very  weak  and  feeble. 
After  staying  there  for  some  time,  perhaps  two  weeks, 
we  returned  to  friend  Baker^s,  near  the  mill.  Lorenzo 
held  meetings  as  much  as  he  was  able,  and  perhaps 
more,  although  he  was  so  weak  in  body  and  depressed  in 
mind,  he  did  not  slack  his  labours,  but  preached  frequently 
sitting  or  laying  down.  There  was  a  young  man,  who 
died  about  six  or  seven  miles  from  where  we  then  were, 
desired  Lorenzo  should  preach  at  his  funeral:  he  was 
still  very  feeble,  but  wished  to  be  of  some  use  to  his 
fellow  mortals,  the  few  days  he  might  have  to  stay  in 
this  world  of  woe. 

He  started  soon  in  the  morning  to  attend  the  funeral^ 
and  brother  Baker  with  him.  This  was  on  Sunday ; 
he  preached  to  a  croAvded  congregation,  with  considerable 
liberty  ;  the  people  were  tender  and  attentive.  After  the 
conclusion  of  the  ceremony,  he  started  to  return  to  brother 
Bakery's,  where  he  had  left  me,  and  had  rode  but  a  few 
miles  before  he  Avas  taken  suddenly  ill,  and  would  have 
fallen  from  his  horse,  if  friend  Baker  had  not  saw  that 
something  was  the  matter ;  and  being  active,  he  sprang 
from  his  horse,  and  caught  him  before  he  fell  to  the 
ground;  and  as  it  happened  they  were  near  a  small 
cabin,  that  was  occupied  by  a  man  that  professed  religion. 
They  conveyed  him  into  it  senseless,  and  so  he  continued 
fof  some  time }  and  when  he  came  to  hinieel/y  he  was  in 


THE  WILDERNESS,  47 

the  most  excruciating  pain  imaginable.  They  gave  him 
a  large  quantity  of  laudanum,  which  gave  him  some  little 
relief;  but  he  could  not  be  removed  tiom  that  place. 

Brother  Baker  stayed  with  him  until  nearly  night,  and 
then  came  home.  I  had  become  very  uneasy  in  my  mind 
on  his  account,  as  he  did  not  return  according  to  my 
expectation ;  w^hen  this  friend  came  and  told  me  Lorenzo's 
situation, — my  heart  trembled  lest  1  should  be  called  to 
relinquish  my  claim,  and  resign  him  up  to  the  pale  mes- 
senger. It  made  me  cry  mightily  to  God  to  give  me 
strength  to  say,  "  The  will  of  the  Lord  be  done."  I  had 
no  reason  to  doubt,  if  the  great  Master  saw  it  best  to 
remove  him  from  this  region  of  pain,  he  would  be  con- 
veyed by  angelic  bands  to  the  realms  of  peace  and  happi- 
ness, where  he  would  have  to  suffer  no  more  pain  and 
affliction,  neither  of  body  or  mind ; — but  it  was  a  task  too 
hard  for  me  to  accomplish,  without  the  immediate  assist- 
ance of  the  Friend  of  sinners. 

1  slept  but  little  that  night,  and  early  the  next  morning 
the  friend  at  whose  house  Lorenzo  was,  came  with  two 
horses  to  take  me  to  him — when  I  arrived  there,  I  found 
him  in  a  very  distressed  situation ;  he  could  not  be  moved 
in  any  position  whatever,  without  the  greatest  pain  ;  he 
could  lie  no  way,  except  on  his  back,  and  in  this  position 
he  lay  for  ten  days.  The  disorder  was  in  his  left  side,  and 
across  his  bowels ;  I  was  apprehensive  it  would  terminate 
in  a  mortification,  and  others  I  believe  were  of  the  same 
opinion.  Oae  day  we  thought  he  was  dying,  the  whole 
day  ;  he  was  unable  to  speak  for  the  greater  part  of  the 
day.  My  mind  was  in  such  a  state  of  anxiety  as  I  had 
never  experienced  before ;  however,  that  appeared  to  be 
the  turning  point — for  the  next  day  he  was  something 
better,  and  continued  to  mend  slowly  ;  and  in  a  few  days 
he  had  gained  so  much  strength  as  to  ride  about  a  mile 
to  a  quarterly  meeting — and  a  precious  time  it  was  to  me, 
and  many  others. 

0  what  an  indulgent  parent  we  have  to  rely  upon! 
May  my  heart  ever  feel  sensations  of  gratitude  to  that 
God  who  hath  cleared  my  way  through  the  storms  of 
affliction,  and  various  other  difficulties. 

1  had  not  recovered  my  health  fully  at  this  time.  The 
people,  it  appeared  to  me,  were  almost  tired  of  us  in 


48  VICISSITUDES  IN 

every  direction.  I  was  unable  to  labour  for  a  living,  and 
Lorenzo  was  so  feeble  in  botiy  that  he  could  preach  but 
little  ;  consequently  we  were  entirely  dependent  on  others 
for  a  subsistence. 

We  continued  in  the  neighbourhood  where  Lorenzo 
had  been  s.ck,  and  that  of  the  mill,  until  the  first  of 
January,  and  then  left  that  part  for  a  friend's  house, 
twelve  or  fourteen  miles  olf  j  theii'  house  was  small,  and 
family  large,  wnich  made  it  very  inconvenient  to  them 
and  us,  alihough  they  were  very  kind  and  friendly. 

Our  situation  at  this  time  was  truly  distressing— we 
scarcely  knew  which  way  to  turn.  Lorenzo  concluded  it 
Was  best  to  strive  to  prepare  some  place  as  a  shelter  from 
the  storms  that  appeared  to  have  come  to  such  a  pitch, 
as  not  to  admit  of  rising  much  higher.  Sickness  ana 
poverty  had  assailed  us  on  every  side ;  and  many,  such 
as  had  professed  to  be  our  friends,  forsook  us  in  that 
country  as  well  as  in  the  States.  It  was  circulating 
through  many  parts  that  we  were  at  that  time  rolling  in. 
riches,  surrounded  with  plenty.  The  old  mill-frame, 
(for  it  was  never  finished,)  had  made  such  a  noise  in  the 
world,  that  many  had  been  led  to  believe  that  we  pos- 
sessed a  large  pla7itation,  with  an  elegant  house,  and 
other  necessary  appurtenances,  together  with  two  or  three 
mills,  and  a  number  of  slaves,  beside  money  at  interest. 
Whilst  this  was  carried  from  east  to  west,  and  from  north 
to  south,  and  the  people  supposing  that  Lorenzo  had 
ranged  the  wide  fields  of  America,  and  also  of  Europe, 
to  gather  up  worldly  treasure,  and  had  gone  to  the  Mis- 
sissippi to  enjoy  it,  would  of  course  make  a  very  un/a- 
vouraJAe  impression  on  their  minds,  as  it  related  to  his 
motives  in  travelling  in  such  an  irregular  manner  as  he 
had  done. 

We  were,  as  I  observed  before,  in  quite  a  different 
situation — without  house  or  home,  or  any  thing  of  conse- 
quence that  we  could  call  our  own. 

There  was  a  tract  of  land,  lying  in  the  midst  of  a  thick 
Cane-break,  on  which  was  a  beautiful  spring  of  water, 
breaking  out  at  the  foot  of  a  large  hill,  which  some  per- 
son had  told  Lorenzo  of:  the  soil  belonged  to  the  United 
States,  and  the  cane  was  almost  impenetrable,  from  thirty 
to  forty  feet  high^  and  likewise  it  was  inhabited  by  wild 


THE  WILDERNESS,  49 

BEASTS  of  "pTcy^  of  various  kinds,  and  serpents  of  the 
most  poisonous  nature.  Notwithstanding  these  gloomy 
circumstances,  Lorenzo  got  a  man  to  go  with  him  to  look 
at  it,  to  see  'd  it  would  do  for  an  asylum  for  us  to  fly  to, 
provided  we  could  get  a  little  cabin  erected  near  the 
spring.  After  he  had  taken  a  survey  of  the  place,  h« 
concluded  to  make  a  trial,  and  employed  a  man  accord- 
ingly to  put  up  a  small  log  cabiu^  within  tea  or  twelve 
feet  of  the  spring,  which  he  did,  after  cutting  down  the 
cane  for  to  set  it — a  way  was  made  through  from  a  public 
road  to  the  spot,  so  that  we  could  ride  on  horseback  or  go 
on  foot.  We  obtained  a  X'-iw  utensils  for  keeping  house, 
and  in  Mirck  we  removed  to  our  little  place  of  residence, 
in"  the  wilderness,  or  rather  it  appeared  like  the  habitation 
of  some  exiles  ; — but  it  was  a  sweet  place  to  me — I  felt 
I  was  at  home,  and  many  times  the  Lord  was  precious  to 
my  souL 

There  was  a  man  who  had  resided  in  Philadelphia^ 
and  by  some  means  had  got  involved  in  debt,  and  left 
there  to  reside  \n  this  country.  He  had  a  wife  and  one 
child:  once  he  had  belonged  to  the  Methodist  Society, 
and  then  backslid  ;  but  after  he  came  to  that  country  he 
was  brought  into  trying  circumstances,  which  brought 
him  to  reflect  on  his  present  situation;  and  meeting  with 
Lorenzo  in  this  time,  there  began  some  intimacy  beiween 
"them  on  this  occasion  :  ai'ier  this  he  wished  to  return  to 
Philadelphia  for  a  short  time,  and  wanted  some  place  for 
his  wife  to  stay  at  while  he  should  be  gone;  consequently 
he  requested  us  to  let  her  stay  with  us  at  our  little  cabin, 
which  was  agreed  to — she  came,  and  this  made  up  our 
little  family.  She  was  a  peaceable,  friendly  woman, 
and  we  spent  the  time  quite  agreeably;  although  we  were 
left  by  ourselves  for  days  together,  Lorenzo  being  fre- 
quently called  from  home  to  attend  meetings,  and  to  pro- 
cure the  necessaries  of  life  ! 

The  people  were  much  surprised  when  they  came  to 
our  little  residence,  how  we  came  to  fix  on  such  a  lonely 
place  as  this  to  retreat  to  I — This  is  a  proof,  that  experi- 
ence teaches  more  than  otherwise  we  could  learn :  we 
had  felt  the  Avant  of  a  home  in  the  time  of  trouble  and 
sickness.  This  was  a  pleasant  retreat  to  us:  the  wilder- 
ness appeared  almost  like  a  paradise  to  me  I    Them's  wetro 


50  VICISSITUDES  IN 

but  two  ways  we  could  get  to  our  neighbours,  the  nearest 
of  which  was  more  than  half  a  mile,  and  the  way  so 
intricate,  that  it  would  be  almost  impossible  for  any  one 
to  find  it,  or  get  through  either  place  in  the  night. 

We  stayed  there  for  near  four  months  ;  in  that  time 
Lorenzo  preached  as  much  as  his  strength  would  admit. 
We  were  sometim.es  very  closely  run  to  get  what  was 
necessary  to  make  us  comfortable ;  yet  I  felt  quite  con- 
tented. I  had  in  a  good  degree  regained  my  health,  so 
that  I  was  able  to  labour,  and  I  strove  to  do  all  that  I 
could  for  a  living,  although  my  situation  was  such,  that  I 
could  not  do  as  much  as  I  wished  ;  but  the  Lord  provided 
for  us,  beyond  what  we  could  have  expected.  We  did 
not  know  how  long  we  should  stay  in  that  place;  we  had 
no  other  alternative  but  to  stay  there,  until  Providence 
should  open  some  other  way. 

The  man  that  had  left  his  wife  with  us,  and  started 
for  the  city  of  Philadelphia^  went  as  far  as  the  tails  of 
Ohio,  and  got  discouraged,  and  getting  into  a  boat,  he 
returned  to  us  in  the  cane  :  there  we  had  an  addition  to 
our  family,  this  man,  and  his  wife,  and  child.  The  chief 
of  the  burthen  fell  to  my  lot,  to  do  for  them  and  our- 
selves, which  Lorenzo  thought  was  too  much  for  me  to 
go  through  with — and  the  man  seemed  not  to  give  him- 
self much  concern  about  it,  his  wife  being  in  a  situation 
that  would  require  more  attention  than  I  should  be  able 
to  give,  we  thought  it  was  best  to  make  our  way  to  the 
States,  if  possible ;  as  we  had  been  defeated  in  almost 
every  thing  that  we  had  undertaken  in  that  country. 
Accordingly,  Lorenzo  made  some  arrangements  to  pre- 
pare to  leave  it.  He  let  the  man  that  was  with  us,  have 
possession  of  the  house  and  spring,  and  what  little  we 
had  for  family  use,  as  it  relates  to  house-keeping,  and 
took  a  horse  for  the  intended  journey-  We  left  the 
peaceful  retreat  of  the  spring,  where  I  had  enjoyed  some 
refreshings  from  the  presence  of  the  Lord ;  and  were 
again  cast  on  the  world,  without  any  thing  to  depend 
upon  but  Providence.  However,  he  had  never  forsaken 
us :  his  power  and  willingness  to  save  all  that  trust  in 
him  was  still  the  same ;  and  as  he  had  promised  that  he 
would  be  with  us  in  six  troubles,  and  in  the  seventh  that 
he  would  nat  forsake  us :  so  it  proved  in  the  end.    W© 


THE  WILDERNESS.  51 

left  the  little  cabin  on  Sunday  morning,  to  attend  an 
appointment  that  Lorenzo  had  given  out,  twelve  or  four- 
teen miles  distance  from  there,  on  horseback,  where  we 
arrived  in  time — he  preached  to  an  attentive  congrega- 
tion. This  was  about  six  miles  from  Cobun^s,  where  we 
had  found  an  asylum  in  days  that  were  past.  We  left 
the  place  where  the  meeting  was  held,  and  started  for 
Mr.  Cobun^g,  but  we  lost  our  way,  by  taking  a  foot-path 
that  we  supposed  was  nearer,  and  wandered  in  the  woods 
until  almost  night,  before  we  came  to  the  place  that  we 
were  in  pursuit  of:  but  at  last  we  got  to  the  place,  where 
we  met  with  sister  Cobun,  and  with  brother  Valentine^ 
who  had  b«en  back  to  the  state  of  Neio  York  for  his 
family,  and  had  arrived  here  a  few  weeks  previous. 

We  did  not  intend  to  stay  in  the  country  any  longer 
than  we  could  make  the  necessary  arrangements  for  our 
journey  through  the  wilderness  to  Georgia.  Lorenzo 
turned  every  way  that  he  could,  to  obtain  what  was 
necessary,  and  had  got  all  ready  to  start,  our  clothes  and 
every  thing  being  packed  up,  we  concluded  to  attend  a 
camp-meeting  about  six  miles  from  the  neighbourhood  of 
the  old  mill-frame,  and  then  continue  on  our  journey: 
but  Providence  seemed  not  to  favour  our  intentions  at 
that  time,  for  I  was  taken  sick,  and  unable  to  travel; 
consequently,  Lorenzo  was  under  the  necessity  of  leaving 
me  behind,  and  going  through  without  me — but  he  stayed 
for  several  weeks  longer,  until  I  had  in  some  decree 
recovered  my  health.  He  had  made  some  preparations 
for  me  to  be  provided  for  in  his  absence.  Brother  Valen-" 
tine  had  erected  a  small  log-house  on  public  ground,  near 
the  mill-frame,  and  contiguous  to  the  little  tract  that 
Lorenzo  still  retained  of  perhaps  five  and-twenty  acres. 
This  house,  in  conjunction  with  the  sister  Cobuns,  he 
obtained  from  Mr.  Valentine,  for  us  to  reside  in,  while 
he  should  take  a  tour  through  the  States. 

He  had  let  another  man  have  a  part  of  the  right  that 
he  still  held  in  the  mill,  if  ever  it  should  be  made  to  do 
any  business ;  consequently,  this  left  him  but  one  fourth, 
ani  that  was  in  a  state  of  uncertainty,  whether  it  would 
ever  be  of  any  use  to  him,  which  the  sequel  has  since 
proved  to  be  the  case. 

About  this  time  my  poor  unfortunate  sister  finished  her 


5'i  VICISSITUDES  IN 

career,  aad  was  called  to  a  world  of  spirits,  to  give  an 
account  for  the  deeds  done  ia  the  body  !  I  felt  very  awful 
when  I  first  heard  the  news — but  I  considered  that  we 
had  done  all  iu  our  power  to  bring  her  back  to  the  paths 
of  rectitude.  Lorenzo  had  seen  her  three  times:  the 
first,  on  purpose — the  second,  on  the  road — the  third,  she 
came  to  meeting  thirty  miles  to  see  me,  but  I  was  not 
there — and  strove  by  every  argument  to  prevail  on  her  to 
come  to  us,  and  forsake  the  way  of  vice  and  strive  to 
seek  her  soul's  salvation,  and  we  would  strive  to  do  the 
part  of  childrna  by  her.  But  she  would  not — alledging 
that  she  could  not  bear  the  scoffs  of  her  acquaintance. 
When  Lorenzo  found  that  she  was  determined  to  stay 
with  the  person  that  she  had  apostatized  for,  he  told  her 
to  read  the  counsel  of  Jeremiah  to  Zedekiah,  on  their 
last  interview,  and  look  at  the  sequel,  and  make  the 
application,  at  which  she  wept  as  mey  parted.  This 
%vas  the  last  time  that  he  ever  saw  her;  she  was  taken 
sick  shortly  after,  and  died  in  a  strange  land,  without  a 
friend  to  drop  a  tear  of  compassion  over  her  in  her  last 
moments  I  The  person  that  had  been  her  seducer  went 
on  like  one  distracted — his  wickedness  and  evil  conduct, 
no  doubt,  stared  him  in  the  face,  Vv^hen  he  reflected  that 
he  had  been  the  cause  of  one,  Avho  had  once  enjoyed  the 
Divine  favour,  losing  that  blessing,  and  falling  into  sin 
of  such  an  enormous  nature  as  she  had  been  guilty  of-— 
and  I  know  not  but  he  might  have  been  the  cause  of  her 
sudden  departure ;  but  I  leave  that  until  the  day  when 
the  secrets  of  all  hearts  shall  be  disclosed! 

She  was  interred  in  a  lonely  place,  where,  perhaps,  in 
a  few  years,  the  spot  of  earth  cannot  be  found,  that  con- 
tains her  ashes.* 


♦  The  fore^^oing  unfortunate  circumstances,  are  necessarily  involv- 
ed iu  the  thread  of  those  vicissitudes,  which  are  connected  in  tha 
narrative  in  order  to  be  earpZiciY— seeing  the  circumstances  were 
generally  known,  but  iu  niany  respects  greatly  misrepresented, 
thro/igh  the  prejudice  and  amtiition  of  some,  to  block  up  the  way 
and  destroy  the  reputation  of  Lorenzo,  by  unfavctirable  impressions 
on  the  public  mind.  Many,  through /a/se  modestij  a.r\d  pride,  are 
willing  to  claim  relationship  with  some,  because  they  are  considered 
ID  the  higher  circles  of  life ;  which  they  would  be  ashamed  of,  if  it 


^HE  WILDERNESS,  5^ 

0  that  this  may  be  a  warning  to  all  that  may  peruse 
this  short  account  of  X\\q  fall  of  one  that  might  have 
proved  a  blessing  to  society,  and  a  comfort  to  h^x friends^ 
if  she  had  kept  at  the  feet  of  her  Saviour,  and  attended 
to  the  dictates  of  that  Spirit  which  teaches  humility. 

1  was  much  afflicted  on  the  account  of  my  poor  sister- 
she  had  lain  near  ray  heart :  but  I  was  enabled  to  give 
her  up,  knowing  that  she  was  gone  to  a  Jtist  Tribunal, 
and  her  state  unalterably  fixed.  What  remained  for  me 
to  do,  was,  to  strive  to  make  my  way  safely  through  a 
tempestuous  world,  to  a  glorious  eternity, 

Lorenzo  had  made  the  necessary  preparations  for  me 
to  stay  with  the  sister  Cobuns,  and  for  him  to  take  his 
departure  for  the  States,  not  expecting  to  return  in  less 
than  twelve  months; — this  was  something  of  a  crosi  to 
me,  as  he  was  still  considerably  afflicted  in  body,  and  to 
appearance,  would  never  enjoy  health  again.  But  I 
was  supported  under  it,  so  that  I  felt  in  a  great  measure 
resigned  to  this  dispensation  also.  I  was  supplied  with 
what  I  needed  to  make  me  comfortable. 

I  had  joined  society  when  I  first  came  to  this  countr}', 
within  a  mile  of  the  place  I  then  lived.  I  lived  in  great 
harmony  with  my  two  companions  that  Lorenzo  had  left 
me  with,  while  he  had  gone  to  visit  the  States  once 
more.  I  attended  meeting  regularly  every  week,  and 
bad  many  precious  times  to  my  soul,  I  had  some  trials 
to  encounter,  but  the  Lord  was  my  helper,  and  brought 
me  through  them  all.  I  was  desirous  to  return  to  some 
part  of  the  States,  if  Providence  should  spare  Lorenzo, 
and  he  should  again  come  back  to  me  in  safety. 

He  left  me  in  October,  I  spent  that  winter  and  the  next 
summer,  as  agreeably  as  I  had  done  such  a  length  of  time 
in  almost  any  situation  that  I  had  been  placed  in  for 
several  years  ;  at  the  same  time  these  people  that  had 
pretended  a  great  deal  of  friendship  to  us  in  former  times, 
were  quite  distant :  however,  this  affected  me  but  little, 


^aa  not  for  their  mongy— as  worth  is  generally  estimated  according 
to  a  man's  property,  agreeable  to  the  old  saying,  "Money  makes  the 
man :"—  Whereas,  what  am  I  the  worse  for  others  vices,  or  bettsr 
for  iheir  worth  and  merit,  if  1  have  no  virtuea  of  my  own  1 


54  VICISSITUDES  IN 

as  I  had  learned  in  some  degree  this  lesson,  that  our 
happiness  does  not  depend  on  the  smiles  or  frowns  of  tha 
world ;  but  we  must  have  peace  in  our  own  breast,  or  we 
can  find  it  no  where  else. 

I  lived  quite  retired  from  the  world,  with  a  few  excep- 
tions :  I  seldom  went  out  but  to  meeting — there  I  found 
most  peace  and  consolation.  Thus  I  continued  to  spend 
my  time,  until  the  period  that  Lorenzo  was  to  return. 

I  received  a  letter  from  him,  to  meet  him  about  twelve 
Miles  from  where  I  then  was,  where  he  had  sent  an 
appointment  to  preach. — This  was  pleasing  intelligence 
to  me,  as  I  had  then  been  separated  from  him  for  near 
twelve  months. 

I  went  the  day  before  the  time  appointed  for  him  to 
arrive  at  the  place ;  and  the  day  that  he  came  I  was 
again  attacked  with  the  ague  and  fever,  which  I  had 
never  escaped  for  one  summer  while  I  was  in  that  coun- 
try. The  ague  had  left  me,  and  the  fever  was  tolerable 
high  when  it  was  observed  by  some  of  the  family  that 
Lorenzo  was  come  !  My  heart  leaped  for  joy  at  the 
sound  of  his  name.  We  met,  after  having  been  separated 
for  twelve  months  and  six  days.  I  felt  some  degree  of 
gratitude  to  our  great  Preserver,  that  he  had  brought  us 
through  many  dangers  and  difficulties,  which  we  had  met 
with  during  our  separation. 

We  intended  to  return  to  the  States,  as  soon  as  we 
could  get  prepared.  There  was  a  large  congregation 
attended  to  hear  Lorenzo  preach ;  and  it  was  a  solemn, 
melting  time  among  the  people  !  after  meeting  we  started 
for  the  place  that  I  had  made  my  home  in  his  absence. 
Although  I  was  quite  unwell,  in  consequence  of  having 
a  fit  of  the  ague  the  day  before,  we  rode  twelve  miles,  in 
company  with  several  friends  that  had  come  from  the 
neighbourhood  to  meet  him. 

It  was  ten  o'clock  before  we  reached  our  destination : 
however,  we  were  very  much  rejoiced  to  have  the  privi- 
lege of  joining  our  hearts  and  voices  in  prayer  and  praise 
to  that  God  who  had  prolonged  our  lives,  and  brought  us 
to  meet  again  on  mortal  shores.  The  next  day  I  had  a 
very  sick  day — the  ague  came  on  more  severely  than  it 
was  the  day  that  Lorenzo  came  back!  He  wished  to 
make  ready  to  leave  the  territory,  and  I  was  anxious  to 


THE  WILDERNESS.  55 

?o  with  him,  as  I  could  not  enjoy  health  in  that  country* 
made  use  of  some  means  to  get  rid  of  the  ague,  and  it 
had  the  desired  effect,  so  that  after  a  few  days  I  got  some* 
thing  better,  and  in  about  two  or  three  weeks  I  was  able 
to  start  on  our  journey  through  the  wilderness  to  Georgia^ 

Lorenzo  had  intended  to  have  stayed  longer  than  he 
did  when  he  returned,  and  had  given  out  a  chain  of 
appointments  through  the  country;  but  reflecting  that 
the  winter  rains  might  come  on,  and  make  it  impossible 
for  me  to  get  through  the  long  and  tedious  wilderness 
that  we  had  to  travel — consequently,  he  attended  but  one 
or  two  of  these  appointments,  and  recalled  the  rest,  and 
started  for  Natchez^  where  we  got  what  was-  necessary 
for  our  journey,  and  from  thence  we  made  the  best  of  our 
way  to  the  wilderness,  although  our  friends  expected  us 
to  have  returned  and  bid  them /areice//,  and  I  myself 
expected  to  have  seen  them  again  before  I  left  that 
country ;  but  it  was  otherwise  ordered,  for  I  saw  them 
no  more  ;  and  1  do  not  know  that  I  ever  shall,  until  we 
meet  in  eternity.  May  God  help  us  to  live,  that  we  may 
join  the  blood-washed  throng^  in  the  mansions  of  endless 
day. 

We  reached  the  outskirts  of  the  settlements  of  Nai- 
diez  on  tlie  third  day  after  we  left  the  city.  It  was  some- 
thing late  in  the  day  before  we  left  the  last  house  inhabited 
by  white  people,  and  entered  the  vast  wilderness.  This 
was  a  new  scene  to  me,  such  as  I  had  never  met  u'ith 
before.  My  heart  trembled  at  the  thought  of  sleeping 
out  in  this  desert  place,  with  no  company  but  my  hus- 
band :  however,  little  before  sunset  we  came  to  a  place 
where  we  could  get  water  and  plenty  of  cane  lor  our 
horses.  There  we  stopped  for  the  niglit,  built  a  fire,  and 
cut  a  quantity  of  cane  for  to  last  our  horses  through  the 
night ;  after  that  we  prepared  our  supper,  which  consisted 
of  coffee  and  hard  biscuit^  which  we  had  brought  from  the 
settlements  with'us.  We  had  no  tent  to  screen  us  from  the 
inclement  weather,  but  we  had  blaukets  on  which  we  slept 
which  made  us  tolerably  comfortable  when  tJie  weather 
was  clear.  We  lay  down,  after  having  prepared  a  quantity 
of  wood  tor  the  nigfet ;  but  it  was  a  gloomy  uight  to  me, 
it  being  the  first  time  that  I  ever  had  been  in  the  like 
circumstances ;  and  to  look  up  and  see  the  wide  extended 
4 


561  VICISSITUDES  IN 

concave  of  heaven  bespangled  with  stars,  without  any 
covering,  it  was  truly  majestic.  Yet  to  consider  we  were 
in  a  lonely  desert,  uninhabited  by  any  creature  but  iDild 
beasts  and  savages^  made  me  fee!'  very  much  alarmed^ 
and  I  slept  but  little,  while  Lorenzo  was  quite  happy  and 
composed  ;  as  he  observed,  he  had  never  been  so  well 
pleased  Avith  his  situation  in  travelling  through  this  wild 
unfrequented  part  of  the  country  before  ;  and  this  was  the 
tenth  time  that  he  had  passed  through  it,  in  the  space  of 
nine  or  ten  years  ! 

We  met  with  no  molestation  through  the  night,  and  as 
soon  as  day  dawned  we  started  on  and  travelled  until 
late  breakfast  time,  when  we  stopped,  struck  up  a  fire, 
and  prepared  some  refreshment,  and  fed  our  horses,  an^ 
then  continued  on  our  journey. 

We  travelled  near  forty  miles  that  day ;  it  was  quite 
dark  before  we  got  to  Pearl  River,  which  we  had  to  cross 
in  a  ferry  boat,  and  stay  at  a  hous^e,  such  as  it  was,  that 
belonged  to  a  Half  Breefl,  during  the  night.  I  was  very 
much  fatigued,  but  rested  tolerably  well. 

In  the  morning  we  started  by  ourselves  soon  after  we 
had  got  some  refreshment,  and  travelled  on  through  the 
day  until  towards  evening,  when  we  met  a  company  of 
Indians,  who  had  been  preparing  their  cainp  for  the 
night.  This  struck  me  with  some  considerable  dread, 
and  to  add  to  that  we  had  to  cross  a  dreadful  slough, 
called  by  travellers,  "  hell  hole."  This  place  consisted 
of  thin  mud,  so  that  horses  after  they  were  stripped  of 
saddle  and  harness,  could  swim  through  j  and  then  it  was 
necG.-^sary  that  some  one  should  be  on  the  other  side,  so 
as  to  prevent  them  from  running  away.  But  we  had  no 
one  with  us  to  assist,  and  we  could  not  tell  what  we 
should  do :  yet  so  it  happened,  the  Indians  had  made  a 
temporary  Jyridge  of  foles  and  canes  to  get  their  horses 
over,  which  served  for  us  to  get  over  upon  also. 

We  were  then  under  the  necessity  of  preparing  for  the 
night,  as  it  was  almost  sun-set,  and  we  were  not  more 
than  half  a  mile  from  the  Indian's  camp,  which  was 
quite  alarming  to  me ;  but  there  was  no  alternative,  there 
we  must  stay.  Accordingly,  Lorenzo  made  a  good  fire, 
and  provided  a  plenty  of  ctiue  for  our  horses,  and  made 
ready  our  little  repast ;  by  this  time  it  was  dark — we 


THE  WILDERNESS.  5? 

then  lay  devvQ  to  try  to  compose  oursehes  to  rest ;  but 
my  mind  was  too  much  -occupied  by  gloomy  reflections 
to  sleep,  while  I  oould  hear  Indians'  degs  barking,  and 
the  horses'  bells  gingie,  although  it  was  a  beautiful  night. 
The  moon  shoBe  through  the  trees  with  great  splendour, 
and  the  stars  twinkling  around^,  and  if  my  mind  had 
been  in  a  right  frame,  it  would  have  been  a  beautiful 
prospect  to  me,  but  I  was  so  much  afraid,  that  it  quite 
deprived  me  of  any  satisfaction,"  while  L&reiizo  would 
have  slept  sweetly,  if  I  had  not  been  so  fearful,  and  fre- 
-guently  disturbed  him — I  longed  for  day-light  to  appear ; 
and  as  sooa  as  it  dawned  we  started  -and  travelletl  a  long 
and  tedieus  day,  still  an  this  dreary  wilderness.  We 
expected  to  liave  got  to  a  man's  house,  living  on  the 
Chwkasaha  Rivei\  who  liad  an  Indian  family,  before 
night ;  accordingly  we  came  to  a  creek,  which  Lorenzo 
took  to  be  that  river:  I  felt  very  much  rejoiced,  as  I  hoped 
to  find  a  house  which  we  could  have  the  privilege  of 
sleeping  in — ^but  we  were  disappointed  in  our  expecta- 
tion— for  when  we  got  over  the  creek  we  found  there  an 
Indiaai  viilage :  we  enquired  how  far  it  was  to  this  man's 
iiouse,  they  told  us  hy  signi  it  was  ten  miles,  and  it  was 
now  akiiost  sun-set.  We  started  on  again,  and  went 
perliaps  half  a  mile,"  when  tlie  path  became  divided 
into  so  many  little  divisions,  that  we  could  not  tell 
which  to  take.  Lorenzo  went  back  to  an  Indian  house, 
and  requested  an  old  Indian  t©  go  and  pilot  us  to  Nalea 
— the  old  man  hesitated  at  first,  but  after  understand- 
ing that  he  should  fee  w-ell  paid,  he  took  his  blanket 
and  wr-applng  it  about  his  "head,  he  started  on  before  us, 
and  wje  followed  after — by  this  time  it  was  almost  sun- 
set, bi^  we  kept  ©,u;:  there  was  a  moon,  though  it  was 
obscured  by  a  thin  cloud,  so  that  it  was  not  of  so  much 
tise  to  us  as  it  would  otherwise  have  been.  We  had  not 
got  more  than  three  miles  from  the  Indian's  house  before 
it  was  quite  dark.  I  was  very  much  afraid  of  our  pilot ; 
I  strove  to  lift  my  heart  to  God  for  protection,  and  felt  in 
some  degree  supported. — Our  way  lay  through  a  large 
swamp,  intermixed  with  cane,  which  made  it  appear 
very  gloomy ;  but  our  pilot  was  almost  equal  to  a  wolf  to 
find  his  way  through  this  wild  unfrequenied  spot  of  the 
,earlh— he  could  wind  about  and  keep  tlie  path  where  I 


58  VICISSITUDES  IN 

would  have  thought  it  was  almost  impossible }  but  having' 
travelled  until  ten  or  eleven  o'clock,  we  arrived  at  the 
river ;  but  how  to  get  across,  that  was  the  next  difiienlty — 
we  must  cross  a  ferry,  and  the  boat  was  on  the  other 
side — Lorenzo  requested  the  old  Indian  to  go  over  and 
fetch  it,  but  he  would  not  move  one  step  wntil  he  promised 
him  more  money  :  this  was  the  second  or  third  time  he 
had  raised  his  wages  after  he  started,  to  keep  him  on, 
until  we  could  reach  the  place  that  we  wished  for.  How- 
ever, after  he  found  that  he  would  get  more  money,  he 
started,  and  went  up  the  river,  found  some  way  across: 
in  a  short  time  he  had  the  boat  over,  and  we  went  into  it 
with  our  horses,  and  the  old  man  set  us  over.  This  was 
perhaps  eleven  o'clock  at  night — we  came  to  the  house, 
the  family  was  gone  to  bed,  but  the  woman  got  up,  and 
although  she  was  half  Indian,  she  treated  me  with  more 
attention  than  many  would  have  done  that  had  been 
educated  among  the  more  refined  inhabitants  of  the 
earth ! 

I  felt  quite  comfortable,  and  slept  sweetly  through  the 
remaining  part  of  the  night.  In  the  morning  we  started 
again,  being  then  near  thirty  miles  from  the  settlements 
of  Tomhigby.  We  passed  through  some  delightful  coun- 
try that  day,  and  about  two  or  three  o'clock  in  the  after- 
noon we  reached  the  first  house  that  was  inhabited  by  • 
white  people.  It  made  my  heart  rejoice  to  meet  again 
with  those  that  spoke  a  language  which  I  understood, 
and  above  all,  to  find  some  that  loved  the  Lord  ! 

Lorenzo  held  several  meetings  in  this  neighbourhood 
that  were  profitable,  I  trust,  to  some.  We  stayed  here 
two  nights,  and  a  good  part  of  three  days,  when  we  took 
our  leave  of  them,  and  departed  on  our  journey  through 
the  settlements  of  Bighih  which  extends  seventy  or 
eighty  miles  in  length,  through  a  rich  and  fertile  soil. 
The  settlements  were  Sourishing  and  the  people  in  some 
parJs  hospitable.  We  arrived  at  Fort  St.  Stephen^ 
situated  on  the  Tombighy  river- — it  is  on  an  eminence, 
and  makes  a  handsome  appearance,  although  it  is  but 
small.  The  river  is  navigable  up  to  this  place.  It  iis  a 
beautiful  river ;  the  water  is  as  clear  as  crystal,  and  the 
land  very  fertile — well  situated  for  cultivation.  This 
will  be  a  delightful  country,  no  doubt  in  time  I 


THE  WILDERNESS.  50 

We  got  fresh  supplies  at  this  place,  and  mad«  bul  a 
few  hours  stop  before  we  started  on  our  journey,  and 
crossed  the  river  in  a  ferry-boat— this  was  after  twelve 
o'clock — we  travelled  until  late,  and  came  to  a  small 
cabin,  where  we  got  permission  to  stay  for  the  night, 
which  we  did.  In  the  morning  we  started  very  early — 
saw  some  scattering  houses,  and  at  night  we  got  to  the 
Alabama  river,  where  there  was  a  ferry,  kepi  by  a  maa 
v/ho  was  a  mixture,  where  we  stayed  that  night.  This 
river  is  beautiful,  almost  beyond'  description.  On  its 
pleasant  bank  stood  Fort  Mims,  that  has  since  been 
destroyed  by  the  savage  Creek  Indiana,  with  those  that 
fled  to  it  for  protection. 

We  were  now  in  the  bounds  of  the  Creek  nation:  we 
were  still  without  any  company. — This  day  we  struck 
the  road  that  had  been  cut  out  by  the  order  of  the  Presi- 
dent, from  the  state  of  Georgia,  to  Fort  Stoddard.  This 
made  it  more  pleasant  for  travelling,  and  then  we  fre- 
quently met  people  removing  from  the  States  to  the 
Tombigby,  and  other  parts  of  the  Mississippi  territory. 

We  travelled  betwixt  thirty  and  forty  miles  that  day, 
and  came  to  a  creek,  called  Murder  creek :  it  got  this 
name  in  consequence  of  a  man  having  been  murdered 
there.  This  circumstance  made  it  appear  very  gloomy 
to  me.  But  we  made  the  necessary  preparations  for  the 
night,  and  lay  down  to  rest :  although  I  was  so  much 
afraid,  I  got  so  weary  at  times,  that  I  could  not  help 
sleeping.  About  twelve  o'clock  it  began  to  rain  so  fast, 
that  it  was  like  to  put  out  our  fire,  and  we  were  under 
the  necessity  of  getting  our  horses  and  .starting,  as  we 
had  nothing  to  screen  us  from  the  rain.  The  road  having 
been  newly  cut  out,  the  fresh  marked  trees  served  for  a 
guide — there  was  a  moon,  but  it  was  shut  in  by  clouds. 
However,  we  travelled  on  ten  or  twelve  miles  and  it 
ceased  raining :  I  was  very  wet  and  cold,  and  felt  the 
need  of  a  fire,  more  perhaps  than  I  had  ever  done  in  my 
life  before  ! 

At  last  we  came  in  sight  of  a  camp,  virhich  would 
have  made  my  heart  glad,  but  I  feared  lest  it  was 
Indians  ;  yet  to  my  great  satisfaction,  when  we  came  to 
it  we  found  an  old  man  and  boy,  with  what  little  they 
possessed,  going  to  the  country  we  had  left  behind,  and 
4* 


60  VICISSITUDES  m 

had  encamped  in  this  place,  and  with  their  blankets  had 
made  a  comfortable  tent,  and  had  a  good  fire.  This  was 
refreshing  to  us,  as  we  were  much  fatigued.  We  made 
some  coffee,  and  dried  our  clothes  a  little — by  this  time 
it  was  day-light ;  we  then  started  on  our  way  again.  1 
thought  my  situation  had  been  trying  as  almost  could  be, 
but  I  found  that  there  were  others  who  were  worse  off 
than  myself. 

We  came  across  a  family  who  were  moving  to  the 
Mississippi — they  had  a  number  of  small  children ;  and 
although  they  had  something  to  cover  them  like  a  tent, 
yet  they  suffered  considerably  from  the  rain  the  night 
Defore :  and  to  add  to  that,  the  woman  told  me  they  had 
left  an  aged  father  at  a  man's  house  by  the  name  of 
Manack,  one  or  two  days  before,  and  that  she  expected  he 
was  dead  perhaps  by  that  time.  They  were  as  black 
almost  as  the  natives,  and  the  woman  seemed  very  much 
disturbed  at  their  situation.  I  felt  pity  for  her— I  thought 
her  burthen  was  really  heavier  than  mine.  We  kept  on, 
and  about  the  middle  of  the  day  we  got  to  the  house 
Avhere  the  poor  man  had  been  left  with  his  wife,  son, 
and  daughter.  A  few  hours  before  we  got  there,  he  had 
closed  his  eyes  in  death — they  had  lain  him  out,  and 
expected  to  bury  him  that  evening ;  but  they  could  not 
get  any  thing  to  make  a  cofin  of,  only  split  stuff  to  make 
a  kind  of  a  box,  and  so  put  him  in  the  ground ! 

I  thought  this. would  have  been  such  a  distress  to  me, 
had  it  been  my  case,  that  it  made  my  heart  ache  for  the 
old  lady.  But  I  found  that  skejvas  of  that  class  of  beings 
that  could  not  be  affected  with  any  thing  so  much  as  the 
loss  of  property  ;  for  she  began  immediately  to  calculate 
the  expense  they  had  been  at  by  this  detention — and  I 
do  not  recollect  that  I  saw  her  shed  one  tear  on  the  occa- 
sion. 

We  stayed  but  a  short  time  and  continued  on  our 
journey.  There  we  got  a  supply  of  bread,  such  as  it 
was ;  and  there  we  met  with  three  men  that  were  tra- 
velling our  road,  the  first  company  that  we  had  found 
since  we  had  left  the  Mississippi,  being  now  not  more 
than  one-third  of  the  way  through  the  Creek  nation, — 
We  left  this  place  betwixt  one  and  two  o'clock. 

I  was  very  glad  of  some  company,  for  we  had  been 


THE  WILDERNESS.  61 

very  lonely  before.  We  travelled  on  without  any  thing 
particular  occurring  for  three  days,  until  we  arrived  at  the 
Chattahochy  river,  where  we  met  with  some  difficulty  in 
getting  over,  as  the  boat  was  gone.  This  was  early  in 
the  morning,  before  sun-rise,  that  we  came  to  the  river ; 
and  there  we  were  detained  until  ten  o'clock,  and  then 
had  to  hire  an  Indian  to  take  a  canoe,  and  first  carry  our 
baggage  over,  end  then  swim  our  horses  over.  This 
hindered  us  until  near  eleven  o'clock  before  we  got  ready 
to  start  again.  We  were  in  hopes  of  getting  to  Haw- 
kings^  the  agents,  that  night — but  being  so  long  detained 
at  the  river,  we  were  obliged  to  stay  at  an  Indian^s  camp, 
our  company  having  stopped  before. 

I  had  got  a  fall  from  my  horse  and  hurt  myself  con- 
siderably ;  and  I  was  as  much  fatigued  and  worn  out  by 
travelling  as  ever  I  was  in  my  life.  I  thought  sometimes 
that  I  never  should  stand  it,  to  get  through  the  wildner- 
ness,  but  Providence  gave  me  strength  of  body  beyond 
what  I  could  have  expected.  We  left  the  Indian's  camp 
in  the  morning,  and  reached  Col.  Hawkings'  that  night. 

This  was  within  about  thirty  miles  of  the  settlements 
of  Georgia.  I  felt  grateful  to  the  God  of  all  grace,  for 
his  tender  care  over  us,  while  in  this  dreary  part  of  the 
land — where  our  ears  had  been  saluted  by  the  hideous 
yells  of  the  i*?o^— and  had  been  surrounded  by  the  sav- 
ages, more  wild  and  fierce  than  they ;  and  yet  we  were 
preserved  from  all  danger,  and  brought  through  in  safety. 

We  got  to  the  river  that  divides  the  state  of  Georgia 
from  the  Indian  boundaries,  about  three'  or  four  o'clock, 
and  got  into  the  white  settlements,  which  was  very  satis- 
factory to  me.  We  got  to  a  friend's  house  that  night 
about  dark,  where  we  were  received  kindly  !  This  was 
like  a  cordial  to  my  heart,  as  it  had  been  a  long  time 
since  I  had  met  with  a  friend. 

We  stayed  that  night  with  them,  and  the  next  day  we 
got  to  a  friend's  house  within  twelve  or  fourteen  miles 
from  Milledgeville,  the  metropolis  of  Georgia,  There 
Lorenzo  had  left  a  small  wagon,  six  weeks  or  two  months 
before — here  he  exchanged  the  two  horses  we  had  for 
one  that  would  work  in  a  carriage,  and  went  on  to  Mil- 
ledgeville, where  we  stayed  about  a  week — and  found 
many  kind  friends.    This  was  sometime  in  December. 


8a  VICISSITUDES  IN 

While  we  were  here  the  earthquakes  began,  which 
alarmed  the  people  very  much.  It  was  truly  an  awful 
scene,  to  feel  the  house  shaking  under  you  as  sensibly  as 
you  could  feel  the  motion  of  a  vessel,  when  it  was  mov- 
ing over  the  water ;  and  the  trees  as  it  were  dancing  on 
the  hills — all  nature  seemed  in  commotion.  This  was 
enough  to  make  the  stoutest  heart  to  tremble !  But  when 
the  people  get  so  hardened,  that  mercies  nor  judgments 
cannot  move  them,  we  may  conclude  they  are  in  a  bad 
way  !  This  is  the  case  with  too  many.  O  that  the  day 
would  arrive,  when  the  inhabitants  of  the  earth  would 
love  and  serve  the  Lord  ! 

We  left  Milledgeville^  and  went  to  a  friend's  house, 
where  I  staye*.  three  or  four  weeks,  while  Lorenzo 
travelled  the  npper  countries,  and  through  the  New 
Purchase — and  offered  free  salvation  to  crowded  congre- 
gations. He  then  returned  to  where  I  was,  and  we  started 
on  our  journey  to  Virginia..  Lorenzo  preached  at  seve- 
ral places  before  we  got  to  Louisville,  and  had  a  chain 
of  appointments  given  out,  which  extended  to  North 
Carolina.  We  came  to  Louisville,  intending  to  stay  only 
for  a  few  days ;  but  there  came  on  such  a  rain,  that  it 
raised  the  water  courses  to  such  a  degree,  that  it  was 
impossible  for  us  to  travel  for  near  two  weeks — this 
brought  him  behind  his  appointments  :  but  it  gave  him 
an  opportunity  of  preaching  to  the  people  in  Louisville  a 
number  of  times. 

As  soon  as  we  could  get  along  we  started,  and  with 
some  difficulty  we  overtook  the  appointments — but  not 
without  disappointing  three  or  four  congregations.  We 
travelled  on  from  Georgia,  to  Carolina  in  the  cold  incle- 
ment weather,  such  as  we  have  in  January  and  February ; 
and  Lorenzo  preached  once  and  twice  in  the  day — the 
people  seemed  quite  attentive  all  the  way  that  we  came. 

I  was  very  anxious  to  get  to  Lynchburg,  as  we  had 
some  thoughts  of  striving  to  get  a  small  house  built  there, 
that  we  might  have  a  place  of  retreat  in  case  of  neces- 
sity— Lorenzo  still  expecting  to  travel  and  preach  as  long 
as  his  strength  would  admit.  But  we  intended  to  go  on 
to  Connecticut,  to  his  father's,  where  I  expected  to  have 
stayed  for  some  time,  and  then  return  to  Lynchbicrg  ;  hut 
the  Providence  of  God  seemed  not  to  favour  the  design. 


THE  WILDERNESS.  63 

We  arrived  in  Lynchburg  about  the  seventeenth  of 
March,  where  we  calculated  to  stay  but  a  few  days,  and 
then  go  on  to  his  father's— after  making  some  prepara- 
tions for  building  our  little  house.  However,  we  had  not 
been  in  Lynchburg  but  about  one  week,  before  I  was 
taken  very  ill,  and  confined  to  my  bed,  attended  by  two 
doctors,  Jennings  and  Owen,  who  said  my  affliction  was 
an  inflammation  of  the  liver — which  confined  me  for 
three  months  to  my  bed,  and  was  expected  to  die.  How- 
ever, after  having  gone  through  a  course  of  physic,  I  got 
so  as  to  be  able  to  sit  up  and  ride  a  little ;  but  was  very 
feeble.  Mv  sickness  had  detained  Lorenzo  from  going 
to  the  Nortn,  as  he  had  intended, — and  after  counting  the 
expense  of  building,  he  found  that  it  would  not  be  in  his 
power  to  accomplisli  his  design  in  building  a  house,  with- 
out involving  himself  in  debt,  which  he  was  not  willing 
to  do ;  accordingly  he  gave  it  up,  and  concluded  still  to 
continue  as  we  had  been  without  house  or  home,  and 
leave  the  event  in  the  hand  of  Providence;  knowing 
that  we  had  been  provided  for  all  our  lives,  from  a  never- 
failing  source — and  we  felt  willing  in  some  degree  to 
trust  HIM  still ! 

We  were  still  at  Lynchburg  ;  and  had  been  there  for 
more  than  three  months — and  the  friends  were  very  kind 
to  me  in  my  sickness. 

Lorenzo  wished  to  take  me  to  his  father's ;  but  my 
health  was  in  such  a  state  that  it  was  impossible  for  me 
to  travel. 

There  was  a  man  who  lived  in  Buckingham  county, 
about  five-and-twenty  miles  from  Lynchburg — we  had 
but  a  small  acquaintance  with  him:  he,  coming  to  Lynch- 
burg, saw  Lorenzo,  and  invited  him  to  come  and  stay  at 
his  house  a  while.  He  told  him  he  had  no  objections, 
but  was  thankful  to  him  for  his  kindness,  though  he  saw 
no  way  of  conveyance.  Mr.  John  M.  Walker,  for  that 
was  his  name,  told  him  he  would  send  his  carriage  for 
me  the  next  week,  which  he  did,  and  we  went  to  his 
house.  This  was  a  kind  family.  I  had  not  been  there 
but  a  little  more  than  a  week,  before  I  was  again  con- 
fined to  ray  bed — and  it  was  expected  that  I  must  die. 
They  gave  every  attention  to  me  they  could  have  done 
had  I  been  their  own  child— m?iy  the  great  Master  rewfird 


U  VICISSITUDES  IN 

them  in  this  world  with  every  needed  blessing,  and  in 
the  werld  to  come,  a  crown  of  never-fading  glory. 

My  Lorenzo  attended  me  day  and  night  almost  from 
this  lime,  until  near  Christmas.  By  this  I  had  got  a  little 
better,  so  as  to  be  taken  and  wrapped  in  blankets  and  put 
into  a  close  carriage,  and  carried  about  half  a  mile  to 
another  dear  friend's  house.  Major  William  Duval^ 
where  I  was  treated  as  if  I  had  been  a  near  relation — 
and  provided  with  every  thing  necessary  to  make  me 
comfortable ;  and  they  wished  me  to  stay  with  them  all 
the  winter.     This  was  matter  of  thankfulness  to  us. 

I  had  got  so  as  to  walk  about  my  room  a  little — and 
Lorenzo  wishing  to  take  a  tour  to  the  North,  he  made 
the  necessary  arrangements,  and  about  the  twenty -fifth 
of  December  he  left  me  and  started  to  Richmond^  on  his 
way  to  the  city  of  Washington^  where  he  stayed  for  some 
time,  and  then  on  to  New  York  s  and  so  on  to  his  father's 
in  Connecticut. 

He  expected  to  return  in  March,  but  did  not  until  May. 
I  staid  at  brother  DuvaPs,  partaking  of  their  hospitality, 
until  sometime  in  March,  when  brother  Walke-r's  family 
seemed  solicitous  that  I  should  go  to  their  house  again, 
and  sister  Walker  coming  in  her  carriage  herself,  she 
being  very  delicate  too — I  concluded  to  go.  The  old 
gentleman  not  being  at  home  at  the  time,  or  I  expect  he 
would  not  have  consented  for  me  to  have  left  his  house, 
until  Lorenzo  returned. 

I  feel  under  great  obligations  to  that  dear  family  that  I 
cannot  express.  His  wife  was  a  lovely  woman.  May 
the  Lord  reward  them — for  it  is  not  in  my  power  ! 

I  went  home  with  sister  Walker.  I  was  at  this  time 
much  better,  but  in  a  few  days  after  I  had  got  to  brother 
Walker's  I  was  again  attacked  with  my  old  complaint,  a 
pain  in  my  side  very  severe.  I  applied  to  the  remedies 
that  had  been  made  use  of,  and  that  was  bleeding  and 
blistering,  but  to  little  purpose  apparently.  .  ^ 

I  felt  very  much  discouraged  ;  as  I  thought  it  more 
than  probable  that  my  time  would  be  but  short  in  this 
world  of  woe — and  I  wished  much  to  see  my  companion 
once  more  in  time,  but  strove  to  be  resigned  to  the  will  of 
the  Lord. 

My  cry  was — Lord,  help  me  to  be  willing  to  suffer  all 


THE  WILDERNESS.  65 

thy  goodness  sees  best  to  inflict.  My  pain  was  at  times 
very  severe,  and  then  I  would  get  a  little  relief.  I  was 
taken  about  the  twenty-seventh  of  March,  but  three  or 
four  days  later  than  it  was  the  Spring  before,  when  I  was 
first  attacked. 

I  had  received  letters  from  Lorenzo  which  informed 
me  that  he  could  not  get  back  before  May.  My  strength 
was  continually  declining ;  and  to  appearance,  I  would 
shortly  be  an  inhabitant  of  the  other  world.  My  mind 
was  variously  exercised — it  was  sometimes  cast  down, 
and  at  other  times  much  comforted.  This  long  and 
tedious  sickness  taught  me  a  great  lesson,  as  it  related  to 
the  uncertainty  of  earthly  enjoyments,  than  any  thing  I 
had  met  with  before.  My  desire  for  temporalities  were 
gone— at  least  any  more  than  was  strictly  necessary  to 
make  me  comfortable — and  the  Lord  that  cared  for  us 
had  provided  me  with  the  kindest  friends,  where  I  was 
treated  with  the  greatest  attention. 

Lorenzo  returned  in  May,  as  he  had  wrote  me  he 
should.  I  was  at  that  time  unable  to  get  out  of  my  bed 
without  assistance.  I  had  wrote  to  him  to  New  York^ 
before  I  got  so  bad,  that  I  was  threatened  with  another 
attack.  He  had  made  all  the  speed  that  he  could,  and 
the  day  that  he  got  to  the  place  where  I  was,  he  had  tra- 
velled near  seventy  miles. 

I  was  much  rejoiced  to  see  him  once  more,  the  God  of 
all  Grace  had  granted  my  request,  and  returned  him  in 
safely  to  liie  again.  He  staid  with  me  for  several  weeks, 
and  every  means  was  made  use  of  to  restore  me  to  health 
that  could  be^ — but  they  all  seemed  to  prove  abortive. 
Dr.  Jennings  saw  me  several  times  after  ray  last  attack, 
and  advised  the  use  of  mercury^  as  the  only  remedy  that 
could  be  of  any  service  to  me.  I  followed  his  advice, 
and  was  reduced  very  low,  from  the  disorder  and  medi- 
cine together — so  that  it  was  thought  by  all  who  saw  me, 
that  I  must  die. 

I  strove  to  sink  into  the  Avill  of  God  ;  knowing  what- 
soever was  best  for  me  would  be  given — yet  I  could  not 
divest  myself  of  a  desire  to  get  well,  and  live  a  little 
longer :  not  to  enjoy  w^hat  is  commonly  called  the  plea- 
sures of  the  world,  for  my  prospects  were  but  small  at 
that  time—but  to  live  more  to  the  glory  of  God,  and  be 


66  VICISSITUDES  IN 

better  prepared  to  join  the  blood-washed  company  above, 
when  I  should  be  called  for. 

Lorenzo  had  at  this  time  gone  to  the  low  lands,  to  ful- 
fil some  appointments  which  had  been  given  out  by  some 
oif  the  preachers,  which  took  him  about  three  weeks.  I 
was  very  ill  while  he  was  gone — about  the  time  that  he 
returned  I  began  to  mend  a  little,  so  that  I  could  set  up 
in  the  bed.  The  Doctor  had  advised  Lorenzo  to  carry 
me  to  the  White  Sulphur  Springs,  as  it  was  the  most 
likely  means  to  restore  my  health.  After  a  few  weeks,  I 
had  got  so  as  to  be  taken  and  put  into  a  chair  and  carried 
as  far  as  Lynchburg,  to  Doctor  Jennings.  We  had  then 
a  chair  and  horse  of  our  own — but  our  horse's  back  had 
^ot  injured,  so  that  we  were  under  the  necessity  of  stay- 
mg  in  Lynchburg  until  he  should  get  Avell,  so  that  we 
could  get  on  to  the  Springs. 

We  were  detained  for  some  time  before  our  horse  got 
so  as  we  could  use  him.  I  still  was  very  feeble  in  body — 
I  could  not  walk  one  hundred  yards  withoirt  assistance. 
Our  horse  had  been  quite  high  for  near  three  weeks,  and 
his  back  had  got  tolerably  well ;  so  that  we  were  about 
to  make  a  start,  and  try  to  get  on  to  the  Springii — 
but  although  our  horse  had  brought  Lorenzo  all  the  way 
from  New-England,  and  down  to  the  Low  Lands  of  Vir- 
ginia  and  the  Carolinas,  and  back  again  to  Bucking- 
ham, and  from  there  to  Lynchburg  in  the  chair,  and 
appeared  very  gentle ;  yet  when  he  put  him  in  the  chair 
to  prepare  to  start  for  the  Springs,  he  began  to  act  like  as 
if  he  was  frightened,  and  we  were  apprehensive  he  could 
not  be  managed  by  him,  considering  my  weak  and  help- 
less state ;  and  the  road  through  which  we  must  travel 
was  very  rough  and  mountainous,  consequently  he  sold 
him  on  the  spot,  and  hired  a  hack  from  a  Q,uaker  living 
in  that  place  :  he  paid  four  dollars  a  day  for  the  use  of  it 
for  ten  days,  besides  bearing  all  the  expenses.  We  left 
Lynchburg  in  the  morning,  and  went  the  first  day  to 
New  London,  about  fifteen  miles,  and  I  stood  the  travel 
much  better  than  I  expected  I  could.  There  Lorenzo 
preached  to  the  people,  as  he  had  some  appointments 
sent  on  before  him;  and  we  stayed  all  night.  The  next 
day  we  went  to  Liberty,  where  we  had  another  appoint- 
ment— and  from  there  we  went  to  a  friend's  house,  where 


THE  WILDERNESS.  G7 

we  were  treated  kindly — and  they  called  in  some  of  their 
neighbours,  and  we  had  a  comfortable  little  meeting. 

The  next  day  to  Fincastle,  where  we  stayed  all  night, 
and  Lorenzo  preached  twice.  We  were  now  within  a 
few  miles  of  the  mountains,  which  was  in  some  places 
so  craggy  and- steep,  that  it  was  with  difficulty  we  could 
ascend  them ;  and  then  we  would  come  into  a  valley, 
where  the  soil  would  appear  as  charming  and  beautiful 
as  the  mountains  were  rugged  and  barren.  We  travelled 
on,  and  met  with  nothing  particular  until  we  arrived  at 
the  Springs  whither  we  were  bound. 

The  Springs  are  situated  in  Greenbriar  county,  about 
three  miles  the  other  side  of.  the  Allegany  mountain,  and 
from  Lynchburg  upward  of  one  hundred  miles.  It  is  a 
pleasant  place  where  the  man  lives  who  has  rented  the 
Springs,  and  has  built  a  number  of  cabins,  perhaps  fifty 
or  sixty  ;  ai^d  they  were  placed  in  a  regular  form,  and  the 
yard  inclosed,  and  a  beautiful  grass  plot,  with  handsome 
shade  trees,  for  the  accommodation  of  those  that  attend 
the  Springs.  They  have  a  large  house  that  stands  near 
the  centre,  where  the  boarders  dine,  &c. 

We  went  there,  but  the  person  that  had  hired  the 
Springs  would  not  take  us  in  the  pretended  they  were  so 
full  that  they  could  not.  But  they  took  more  after  we 
went  there  than  they  had  before.  But  we  got  in  at  a 
house  perhaps  a  mile  from  the  Spring.  I  was  better 
satisfied  with  this  situation  than  I  would  have  been  at 
the  place — for  I  could  have  the  Avater  brought  twice  in 
the  day  ;  and  there  I  was  in  a  more  retired  place.  I 
stayed  there  near  three  weeks.  Lorenzo  was  there  part 
of  the  time,  arid  part  of  the  time  he  was  travelling  through 
the  neighbourhoods  and  preaching  to  the  peopk.  He 
held  several  meetings  at  the  springs,  by  the  request  of 
those  that  were  attending  there.  There  were  persons 
from  various  parts,  some  for  pleasure,  and  others  for  the 
restoration  of  health : — they  were  people  that  moved  in 
the  higher  circles,  and  were  very  gay — but  they  were 
quite  attentive  when  he  spake  to  them  of  heavenly  things, 
except  one,  who  was  a  most  abandoned  character — -he 
thought  to  frighten  him  by  threatening  his  life,  and  abus- 
ing him  in  a  scandalous  manner :  but  the  enemy  was 
defeated  in  this — for  the  gentleman  that  kept  the  Springs, 
5 


68  VICISSITUDES  IN 

and  others,  soon  stopped  his  mouth,  so  that  he  had  peace 
ever  after* 

There  were  none  just  about  this  place  that  knew  much 
about  religion,  but  they  appeared  anxious  to  hear  the 
glorious  sound  of  the  gospel.  I  began  to  get  my  strength 
in  some  measure,  so  that  I  could  walk  about  considerably 
well.  There  was  to  be  a  Camp-Meeting  held  near 
Salem^  in  Botetourt  county,  which  was  a  distance  of 
seventy  or  eighty  miles  :  and  we  were  in  the  mountains, 
without  horse  or  carriage,  and  how  we  should  get  out  we 
could  not  tell.  But  Providence,  that  had  so  often  opened 
our  way  where  we  could  see  none,  made  a  way  at  this 
time :  there  was  a  friend  that  was  a  Methodist  who  lived 
at  the  Sweet  Springs,  a  distance,  perhaps,  of  eighteen 
miles,  from  the  white  sulphur,  who  had  requested  Lorenzo 
to  come  over  there  and  preach :  he  told  him  he  would, 
provided  he  could  send  a  couple  of  horses  for  us  to  ride. 
I  had,  by  this  time  got  so  wellj  that  we  thought  I  might 
be  able  to  ride  that  distance  on  horseback. 

Accordingly  the  man  sent  the  horses ;  and  we  started 
and  arrived  at  his  house  some  time  in  the  afternoon. 
We  stayed  at  the  Sweet  Spriiigs,  three  or  four  days,  and 
Lorenzo  preached  several  times  :  we  then,  by  the  assist- 
ance of  friends,  were  enabled  to  get  on  to  Fincastle,  that 
was  within  twenty  miles.  We  came  with  the  preachers 
that  were  going  to  Camp-meeting. 

Here  we  got  a  chair  from  a  friend  to  convey  us  part  of 
the  way  from  this  to  the  place  where  the  meeting  was  to 
be  held,  to  another  friend's,  who  let  us  l^ave  his  horse  and 
gig  to  carry  us  the  remaining  part  of  the  way.  When  we 
got  to  the  camp-ground  it  was  nearly  dark  ;  but  there  we 
met  with  some  of  our  old  acquaintance,  which  made 
my  heart  to  rejoice.  The  preachers  were  very  friendly. 
There  I  met  with  my  dear  friend,  sister  Dumiington, 
who  perhaps  enjoys  as  great  communion  with  God,  as 
any  person  I  ever  saw.  She  was  very  kind  to  me, — and 
I  felt  it  was  good  to  meet  with  those  that  truly  love  and 
serve  the  Lord.  We  stayed  at  the  Camp-Meeting  until 
the  day  before  it  broke  up.  It  was  a  tolerable  good  time — 
there  was  a  number  of  souls  converted  to  God  :  may  they 
continue  to  walk  in  the  narrow  happy  road,  until  they 
reach  the  peaceful  shores  of  Canaan  I 


THE  WILDERNESS.  69 

We  left  the  camp  ground  in  company  with  a  preacher 
and  his  family  for  Blaeksburg,  near  the  Yellow  Springs, 
so  called,  where  I  was  advised  to  go,  and  try  the  water. 
This  was  near  thirty  miles  from  Salem — here  we  stayed 
for  two  or  three  weeks,  and  I  made  use  of  the  waters, 
which  was,  I  think,  beneficial  to  me. 

We  got  acquainted  with  a  gentleman  from  the  Low 
Lands  of  Virginia,  who  was  at  the  Springs  with  his 
wife  on  the  account  of  her  health.  These  people  were 
possessed  of  a  large  property,  and  but  one  child — and 
they  also  possessed  as  great  a  share  of  hospitality  as  any 
that  I  ever  met  with.  They  understanding  our  situation, 
gave  me  an  invitation  to  go  home  and  spend  the  winter 
with  them — which  I  thankfully  accepted,  while  Lorenzo 
took  quite  a  different  course  to  the  Western  country, 
intending  to  visit  the  Louisiana,  before  his  return :  but 
the  Indian  War  breaking  out,  flung  some  obstacles  in  the 
way,  which  were  unavoidable:  hence,  he  sent  on  a  deed 
of  relinquishment  to  those  that  had  the  possession  of  the 
old  mill,  which  had  made  such  a  noise  in  the  world — we 
had  heard  that  they  had  got  it,  or  rather  built  a  new  one, 
to  do  some  business,  but  Lorenzo  had  never  reaped  any 
benefit  from  any  thing  that  ever  he  claimed  in  that  coun- 
try, and  I  do  not  expect  he  ever  will. 

Here  ends  the  history  of  his  reported  vast  possessions 
in  the  Mississippi. 

We  parted  at  the  Springs.  I  was  to  go  home  with 
brother  Booth,  the  friend  from  Virgirda,  while  he  pur- 
sued his  journey  to  the  West.  Brother  Dunmngton, 
who  lived  at  Salew,  hapyjened  to  be  at  the  Springs  at 
this  time — he  took  me  in  his  chair,  and  carried  me  to  his 
house,  and  brother  Booth  came  down  the  next  day.  His 
wife  was  very  unwell,  which  detained  us  in  the  moun- 
tains for  six  or  seven  weeks. 

I  stayed  with  sister  Dunnington,  until  sister  Booth 
was  able  to  travel ;  we  then  started  for  Brunswick,  their 
place  of  residence,  where  I  was  treated  with  the  greatest 
Kindness. 

Lorenzo  went  on  to  the  Western  States,  and  from 
thence  to  Carolina,  and  so  on  to  Virginia,  to  where  I 
was ;  after  an  absence  of  near  four  months. 

He  in  this  tour  visited  about  forty  counties,  and  tra^ 


70  VICISSITUDES  IN 

veiled  near  two  thousand  miles.  He  stayed  with  me 
about  ten  daj^s,  and  then  started  on  another  route  through 
North  and  South  Carolina  to  Charleston,  and  visited 
many  places,  preaching  from  one  to  four  times  in  a  day, 
until  he  returned,  which  was  about  seven  weeks.  He 
got  back  to  me  on  Friday  night  j  he  preached  on  Sunday, 
and  on  Monday  morning  we  prepared  to  start  for  Peters- 
burg. 

March  8th,  1814,  we  bid  adieu  to  my  kind  friends  in 
Brunswick^  where  I  had  found  an  asylum  from  the  cold 
winter  for  near  five  months,  whilst  my  Lorenzo  was 
ranging  through  the  Western  and  Southern  States,  to 
«all  sinners  to  repentance.  The  morning  that  we  parted 
with  that  dear  family  will  be  a  memorable  one  to  me;  it 
was  like  parting  with  my  nearest  friends.  May  the  Lord 
bless  them  with  all  such  spiritual  and  temporal  mercies, 
as  shall  prepare  them  for  a  seat  at  the  right  hand  of  the 
Majesty  on  high. 

Brother  Booth  had  furnished  us  with  two  horses,  a 
gig,  and  servant,  to  go  with  us  to  Petersburg — and  there 
we  were  to  take  his  carriage  and  continue  on  to  Balti- 
more.  But  when  we  got  to  Petersburg,  the  carriage 
which  was  designed  we  should  take  from  there,  was 
taken  to  pieces  for  repairing,  so  that  we  could  not  obtain 
it  for  our  journey,  and  hence  were  under  the  necessity  of 
taking  the  public  stage  for  Richmond,  which  was  some- 
thing disagreeable  to  me :  but  I  strove  to  put  my  trust 
in  that  hand  which  had  dealt  out  so  liberally  to  me  in 
days  that  were  pasf  by. 

The  roads  were  very  bad,  being  so  much  cut  up  by  the 
large  heavy  wagons  that  were  on  the  road,  laden  with 
cotton  and  other  produce  for  market. 

We  arrived  in  Richmond  between  two  and  three 
o'clock,  and  were  received  with  kindness  by  brother 
West  and  his  companion.  There  we  met  several  prea- 
chers, who  treated  us  with  friendship,  which  was  very 
pleasant  to  me.  O  how  sweet  it  is  to  meet  with  those 
xhat  love  and  serve  the  great  Master  in  sincerity  and  in 
truth!  And  if  it  is  so  pleasant  here,  what  will  it  be 
when  we  shall  meet  in  that  sweet  world  of  Rest,  where 
we  shall  see  eye  to  eye,  and  be  no  more  subject  to  errone- 
ous conclusions,  as  it  relates  to  our  brethren!    0  that  I 


THE  WILDERNESS.  T! 

may  be  enabled  to  fight  my  passage  through,  .and  meet 
with  the  dear  friends  of  Jesus  on  the  happy  banks  of 
everlasting  deliverance ! 

We  stayed  in  Richmond  from  Wednesday  until  Mon- 
day morning,  Lorenzo  hired  a  hack  at  the  rate  of  five 
dollars  per  day  to  bring  us  on  to  Fredericksburg,  which 
cost  us  near  40  dollars — but  we  came  on  in  safety.  I 
felt  my  heart  often  drawn  out  in  prayer  to  God  for  pro- 
tection while  we  were  on  the  road,  that  He  would  attend 
us  on  our  journey.  We  were  received  with  kindness  also 
at  this  place  by  our  our  old  friend,  brother  Green,  and  his 
family — where  we  stayed  for  some  dayp, 

Lorenzo  held  several  meetings,  and  then  took  a  seat  in 
the  public  stage  for  Alexandria,  where  we  arrived  on 
Sunday,  between  two  and  three  o'clock.  We  stopped  at 
a  public  house,  where  the  people  that  travel  in  the  stage 
are  accommodated,  but  did  not  stay  longer  than  to  deposit 
our  baggage,  and  then  to  go  in  search  of  some  friends 
where  we  had  put  up,  when  we  were  in  that  place  some 
years  before,  by  the  name  of  Stone.  We  walked  down 
the  street  for  some  distance,  and  as  it  happened,  a  gentle- 
man and  lady  were  standing  at  the  door  where  Lorenzo 
had  formed  some  acquaintance  the  preceding  winter,  and 
invited  us  to  come  in,  which  we  did — and  found  a  plea- 
sant asylum,  where  we  could  rest  from  our  fatigue  of 
travelling  in  the  stage.  O  how  sweet  it  is  to  meet  with 
kind  friends  after  having  been  confined  with  those  thai 
neither  feared  God  nor  regard  man  ! 

We  stayed  at  Mr.  VVarter^s  two  nights,  and  then  by 
the  request  of  a  family  of  Q^uakers,  by  the  name  of 
Scholfield,  we  spent  one' night  with  them.  It  was  a  very 
pleasant  time  to  me — they  were  remarkably  kind  and 
friendly ;  and  the  gentleman  in  the  morning  took  me  in 
his  chair  and  carried  me  to  the  city  of  Washingtmij 
which  was  about  six  miles  from  Alexandria,  to  another 
friend's,  where  my  Lorenzo  had  found  a  kind  reception  a 
little  more  than  twelve  months  before,  and  who  had 
requested  that  he  would  bring  me,  if  ever  he  should  tra- 
vel that  way  again. 

Lorenzo  had  stayed  behind  to  find  some  conveyance 
for  our  trunk  and  other  baggage  :  in  a  short  time  he  found 
a  return  hack,  which  he  engaged,  and  arrived  in  a  short 


72  VICISSITUDES  IN 

time  after  me,  and  was  received  with  aflfection  by  the 
family.  They  were  by  name  Friends,  and  they  were  so 
fey  nature. 

We  stayed  with  them  three  nights,  and  received  many 
marks  of  friendship  from  them — ^for  which  may  the  great 
Master  reward  them  in  the  day  when  he  cometh  to  make 
up  his  jewels  !  They  had  been  married  for  seventeen 
years,  and  had  no  children,  except  one  little  adopted 
daughter,  of  the  lady's  brother,  which  they  had  taken  as 
their  own.  They  doted  on  her:  she  was  taken  sick  the 
day  after  I  went  there ;  and  the  second  day  at  night  they 
thought  she  was  dying,  and  the  poor  little  woman  was  in 
great  anguish  of  soul  on  the  account.  I  did  not  expect 
the  child  would  live  until  morning.  We  had  engaged 
our  passage  in  the  stage  for  that  morning  at  five'  o'clock, 
and  were  up  at  three.  Thy  family  had  slept  very  little 
for  two  nights,  but  when  we  arose  in  the  morning,  which 
was  at  an  early  hour,  to  prepare  for  our  journey,  the  dear 
little  child  was  still  living,  but  looked  like  she  had  almost 
finished  her  course,  and  would  shortly  be  conveyed  to 
the  realms  of  peace.  Brother  Friend  went  with  us  to 
the  stage-house,  where  we  parted.  We  came  on  to  Bal- 
timore, where  we  stayed  two  nights  with  brother  Hager^ 
ty  ;  and  Lorenzo  preached  twice  in  the  town.  We  then 
took  the  steam-boat  for  Philadelphia,  where  we  arrived 
in  about  twenty-six  or  eight  hours,  where  we  tarried 
from  Tuesday  until  Friday — there  Lorenzo  preached  two 
evenings  in  the  African  church.  We  then  left  Phila- 
delphia,  and  continued  on  in  the  steam-boat  to  Trenton^ 
where  we  took  the  stage  for  New  York.  We  staid  at 
Princeton  one  night,  and  the  next  evening  we  arrived 
at  the  city  of  Neio  York,  and  came  to  brother  Morris 
D^  Camps,  from  whose  house  I  started  when  going  to  the 
Mississippi — he  then  lived  in  Troy — after  an  absence  of 
about  five  years  and  six  months  from  the  time  we  started, 
and  from  whom  we  have  received  many  favours.  May 
that  God,  who  is  able  and  willing  to  reward  those  that 
will  be  kind,  for  their  benevolence  bless  him  and  all  my 
dear  friends,  for  their  kindness  to  me — and  in  particular 
for  the  last  nine  years  of  my  life. 


SUPPLEMENTARY  REFLECTIONS 

TO   THE 

JOURNEY  OF  LIFE. 


I  LEFT  Lynchburg  on  ihe  19th  of  July,  and  came  W 
brother  Walker's  in  Buckingham,  where  I  was  taken 
worse  ;  and  stayed  there  three  months— and  then  I  went 
to  brother  Duval's,  where  1  stayed  about  five  months,  and 
then  returned  to  brother  Walker's  again,  where  I  con- 
tinued near  two  months  more — making  ten  months  in 
all.  May  the  Lord  give  them  the  reward  that  is  promised 
to  those  that  give  a  cup  of  cold  water  to  a  disciple,  in  the 
nam^  of  a  disciple,  for  their  kindness  to  unworthy  me  in 
this  day  of  adversity. 

January  25th.  I  this  morning  have  been  much  relieved 
from  melancholy  reflections  that  employed  ray  mind 
through  the  last  night,  as  it  relates  to  Lorenzo;  as  I  had 
not  heard  from  him  for  several  weeks,  which  gave  me 
much  uneasiness,  and  made  me  leelmy  situation,  which 
is  something  lonely :  but  what  most  distressed  me  was, 
my  heart  being  so  prone  to  distrust  the  protection  of  Pro- 
vidence over  us,  which  I  had  so  much  reason  to  rely 
upon — for  his  tender  care  hath  been  over  me  from  my 
earliest  days  until  novv^,  and  hath  brought  me  through 
dangers  seen  and  unseen. 

"  Through  various  deaths  my  soul  hath  led  ; 

And  turn'd  aside  the  fatal  hour, 
And  lifted  up  my  sinking  head." 

O  that  I  may  ever  feel  resigned  to  the  will  of  God  ! 
The  day  will  shortly  arrive  when  we  must  bid  adieu  to 
all  sublunary  things.  May  the  Lord  help  me  to  tear  my 
heart  from  earth  away  for  Jesus  to  receive.     I  long  to  be 


74  VICISSITUDES  IN 

dead  to  all  below  the  sun,  and  have  my  affections  placed 
on  things  above,  where  sorrow  will  be  turned  into  joy, 
where  we  shall  view  our  Saviour,  who  hath  borne  all  our 
sins  in  his  own  body  on  the  tree,  without  a  dimning  veil 
between  I    Lord,  enable  me  to  say — 

^'Forever  here  my  re»t  shall  be, 

Clsse  to  thy  bleeding  side ; 
This  all  my  hope  and  all  ray  plea, 

For  me  the  Saviour  died. 

My  dying  Saviour  and  my  God, 

Fountain  for  guilt  and  sin, 
Sprinkle  me  ever  with  thy  blood, 

And  cleanse,  and  keep  me  clean." 

January  26th.  My  heart  longs  to  be  filled  with  love 
and  gratitude  to  God,  for  his  mercy  to  me :  and  that 
ihrough  his  grace  strengthening  me,  I  hope  to  overcome 
all  the  evils  that  may  befal  me,  Avhether  outward  or 
inward.  O  that  I  may  consider  that  days  are  uncertain 
here  below — and  know  not  the  hour  when  the  Son  of 
Man  may  call  for  me,  wkether  it  will  be  at  midnight,  or 
at  the  cock's  crowing — so  it  stands  me  in  hand  to  watch 
and  pray,  that  I  may  not  be  surprised  when  He  shall 
come,  but  be  ready  to  enter  in  with  the  Bridegroom  to 
the  marriage  supper  of  the  Lamb  !  How  sweet  rest  will 
be,  after  the  toilsome  ^'journey  qflife^^  is  over.  We  shall 
then  be  received  to  those  joys  that  have  been  jpurchased 
at  so  dear  a  rate ;  it  cost  no  less  than  the  precious  blood 
of  the  Son  of  God  !  O  what  a  ransom  !  That  it  should 
be  neglected  by  those  who  ought  to  henejit  by  it — what  a 
pity  !  O  that  they  may  take  timely  warning,  and  flee  to 
the  out-stretched  arms  of  the  Saviour,  and  hide  them, 
while  the  storms  of  life  be  past,  that  they  may  be  guided 
safe  into  the  haven  of  eternal  rest. 

February  7th,  1813,  Sunday.  I  feel  this  morning  my 
spirits  are  very  much  depressed — I  fear  that  trouble  awaits 
me.  O  that  I  may  be  prepared  for  whatever  may  be  the 
will  of  God  concerning  me,  whether  prosperity  or  adver- 
sity.    May  I  ever  lay  passive  at  HIS  feet,  and  feel  a  dis- 


THE  WILDERNESS,  75 

position  to  say— Not  my  will,  but  thine  be  done.  I  am 
assured  that  this  is  a  state  of  trial,  wherein  we  musi 
stand  to  our  arms,  or  we  shall  suffer  loss — for  we  are  sur- 
rounded with  enemies  on  every  side,  within  and  without, 
that  are  watching  to  do  us  misehief.  O  that  I  may  be 
on  my  guard,  and  watch  unto  prayer,  that  the  Lord  may 
be  my  fore  front  and  rear  ward  !  and  although  trpubles 
should  assail  me  and  dangers  affright,  I  may  be  enabled 
to  fly  to  the  arms  of  Jesus,  and  find  shelter  and  consola- 
tion there!  For  he  hath  said,  that  he  will  carry  the 
lambs  in  his  bosom,  and  gently  lead  those  that  are  with 
young — O  that  I  may  be  one  of  those  that  can  claim  this 
promise  and  protection  from  him.  1  am  left  as  one  alone 
in  the  earth— but  if  I  can  only  put  my  trust  in  him,  I 
need  not  fear. — Although  dangers  stand  thick  through  all 
the  ground,  yet  if  the  Lord  is  my  shield,  I  shall  not  fear' 
what  man  can  do  unto  me.  But  I  too  often  sink  into  a 
state  of  despondency,  as  my  situation  seems  to  be  very 
gloomy  at  present : — not  that  I  am  in  want  of  any  thing 
to  make  me  comfortable,  as  it  relates  to  living — for  I  an^ 
placed  in  a  kind  family,  for  which  I  desire  to  be  thank- 
lul — but  my  concern  for  my  companion,  who  hath  been, 
gone  for  near  two  months,,  and  1  have  not  heard  from 
him  but  once — which  fills  my  heart  with  fear,  lest  some- 
thing hath  befallen  him.  O  that  God  may  preserve  him 
from  those  that  would  do  him  harm — and  may  I  be  ena- 
bled to  give  him  up  into  the  hands  of  God ;  knowing, 
that  he  will  do  all  things  well:  and  if  we  meet  no  more 
on  earth,  may  we  meet  in  glory,  where  w6  shall  be 
reunited  never  to  part  again — and  receive  the  crown  of 
glory  that  is  laid  up  for  those  that  are  faithful  to  the 
Lord,  who  bought  their  pardon  on  the  tree  ! 

February  9th.  I  ara  still  alive,  and  enjoy  a  tolerable 
degree  of  health — for  which  I  desire  to  be  thankful :  for 
it  is  more  than  I  once  expected,  from  the  state  of  my 
health. 

I  expected  that  I  should  have  been  an  inhabitant  oj 
eternity  before  this — but  the  Lord  hath  preserved  me  for 
a  longer  space  !  O  that  I  may  improve  the  precious  mo- 
ments as  they  pass,  to  the  glory  of  God,  and  for  the  good 
of  my  immortal  soul— that  when  time  shall  be  no  more 
with  me,  I  may  be  received  into  glory,  where  sorrow  will 


76  VICISSITUDES  IN 

be  turned  into  joy :  where  I  may  join  the  blood-washed 
throng  in  singing  hallelujahs  to  God  and  the  Lamb  for 
«ver ! 

**  And  then  my  happy  soul  shall  tell, 
My  Jesus  hath  done  all  things  well." 

February  15th.  I  am  still  alive,  and  on  praying 
ground — O  that  I  may  improve  the  precious  moments 
as  they  pass,  to  the  glory  of  God  and  the  g-ood  of  my 
•own  souL  My  heart  is  too  little  engaged  with  God  !  O 
that  I  may  never  rest  until  I  am  filled  with  love  to  God 
and  all  mankind.  May  the  Lord  prepare  me  for  what- 
ever awaits  me  through  this  unfriendly  world — for  I 
expect  that  troubles  will  he  my  lot,  while  here,  more  or 
less,  until  I  pass  over  Jordan  /-—God  grant  that  they  may 
«end  then;  asd  for  them  may  I  receive  a  orown  of  glory, 
though  unworthy.  May  God  help  me  to  watch  and  pray 
without  .ceasing,  that  I  may  be  in  a  stale  of  readiness 
for  whatever  may  be/at  me ! 

"  How  happy  every  child  o(  grace, 

Who  knows  his  sins  forgiven, 
"This  earth,  he  cries,  is  not  my  place, 

I  seek  my  place  in  heavbn, 

A  country  far  from  mortal  sight, 

Yet,  O  hy  faith,  I  see— 
The  land  of  rest,  the  saint's  delight ; 

The  heaven  prepar'd  for  wc." 

March  12,  1813.  I  have  reason  to  bless  and  praise 
Crod,  that  it  is  as  well  with  me  as  it  is — that  I  have  some 
desire  still  to  devote  my  life  and  all  that  I  have  to  the 
service  of  that  God  who'hath  preserved  and  brought  me 
to  the  present  moment.,  O  that  every  power  of  my  soul 
and  body  may  be,  without  reserve,  devoted  to  him.  He 
hath  been  my  Preserver  and  kind  Benefactor  from  my 
earliest  days  until  the  present  time  !  O  that  my  heart 
may  be  filled  with  love  and  gratitude  to  Him,  for  every 
fittercy  that  I  do  enjoy.    It  hath  been  better  than  three 


tHE  WILDERNESS.  7T 

manths  since  I  parted  with  the  friend  that  I  esteem  most 
dear ;  and  I  long  much  to  see  him — but  I  must  be  p.atient, 
and  strive  to  give  ray  all  to  the  Lord,  and  say,  Not  my 
will,  but  thine  be  done. 

March  14th.  This  day  has  been  a  day  of  a  good 
degree  of  peace  and  joj/  to  m>^  souL  As  I  have  been  so 
long  deprived  of  meeting  with  my  brethren  to  praise 
God !  O  that  I  may  give  my  soul  and  body  as  a  living 
sacrifice  to  him  day  by  day — and  be  prepared  to  meet  my 
Saviour  in  the  skies,  with  joy  and  gladness. 

"  Through  grace,  I  am  determin'd 
To  conquer,  though  I  die  !" 

March  21st.  I  have  reason  to  praise  God  for  his  tender 
mercy  to  me  ;  that  he  hath  given  me  a  degree  of  health 
and  strength — and  feel  a  desire  to  spend  the  remainder 
of  my  days  in  his  service  and  to.  his  glory.  May  the 
Lord  bless  me  with  an  hungering  and  thirsting  for  all 
the  mind  that  was  in  Christ,  that  I  may  be  a  comfort  to 
my  companion,  and  a  blessing  to  society,  and  be  prepared 
for  heaven  and  glory. 

"Come  Lord  from  above,  these  mountains  remove, 
O'erturn  all  that  hinders  the  course  of  thy  love." 

1  long  to  be  altogther  thine.-  The  day  is  fast  approach- 
ing when  it  would  be  of  more  importance  to  have  an 
interest  at  a  throne  of  grace,  than  to  be  possessed  of  all 
the  riches  in  this  lower  world !  May  God  help  me  to 
realize  the  world  of  time  and  the  length  of  eternity — and 
improve  my  privileges  accordingly  ! 

March  21st.  I  feel  to  be  in  some  degree  thankful  to 
God  for  the  blessings  that  I  do  enjoy.  May  I  improve 
them  to  the  glory  of  my  great  Benefactor — and  may  the 
Lord  reward  my  kind  friends  for  their  friendship  to  me. 

"  O  that  my  God  would  count  me  meet, 
To  wash  his  dear  disciples'  feet." 

I  feel  my  heart  prone  to  wander  from  the  God  that  ( 


78  VICISSITUDES  IN 

desire  to  love !    O  that  the  day  may  arrive  whea  I  shall 
love  my  God  supremely — above  every  thing  else. 

April  the  15th,  1813.  I  am  this  day  out  of  eternity, 
Ijut  am  not  well — and  know  not  how  long  I  may  be  an 
inhabitant  of  this  world  !  That  I  may  be  in  a  state  of 
readiness  for  death,  when  it  shall  come — ^for  whether  it 
be  long  or  short,  it  will  be  the  same  king  of  terrors  when 
it  comes,  if  we  are  not  prepared  for  it.  My  heart  and 
soul,  long  {or full  redemption,  in  the  blood  of  Jesiis, 

"  O  that  my  tender  soul  might  fly 

The  least  abhorr'd  approach  of  ill : 
Cluick  as  the  apple  of  an  eye, 

The  slightest  touch  of  sin  to  feel." 

I  hope*  the  Lord  may  give  me  grace  to  be  faithful  j  that 
whether  my  days  are  many  or  few,  they  may  all  be 
devoted  to  him,  that  when  I  am  called  to  go  I  may  have 
a  convoy  of  angels  to  escort  my  happy  soul  to  realms  of 
glory.  My  conflicts  are  many  here,  but  the  hand  of  the 
Lord  is  strong.  O  that  I  may  be  enr.bled  to  put  my 
trust  in  him  in  every  trying  hour. 

April  21st.  I  am  this  day  a  spared  monument  of 
mercy — that  I  am  not  cut  off  as  a  cumberer  of  the 
ground — O  that  my  heart  may  be  jfilled  with  real  grati- 
tude for  the  blessings  I  do  enjoy— for  kind  friends  in  the 
day  of  adversity. 

I  feel  that  I  need  daily  supplies  from  the  fountain  that 
was  opened  in  the  house  of  king  David  for  sin  and"- 
uncleanness.  For  the  enemy  thrusts  sore  at  me — and  I 
often  fear  I  shall  come  short  at  last.  I  want  the  whole 
armour,  and  skill  to  use  the  \v  eapons,  that  I  may  be  more 
than  conqueroif  through  the  strength  of  Jesus — that  when 
my  sun  is  setting,  I  may  have  a  prospect  of  Canaan's 
happy  land,  and  view  by  faith  the  celestial  fruits  of  para- 
dise, where  joys  immortal  grow — pain  shall  be  exchanged 
then  for  pleasure  that  never  shall  cease — where  we  may 
gaze  on  the  face  of  our  beloved  without  a  dimning  veil 
of  mortality  between. 

April  23d.  I  have  reason  to  be  thankful  to  God  my 
great  Preserver,  for  the  peace  that  I  do  feel  in  my  soul 


THE  WILDERNESS.  tO 

this  morning.  Although  my  body  is  afflicted,  yet  I  feel 
a  degree  of  resignation  to  the  will  of  God — and  hope 
that  I  may  be  prepared  for  whatever  is  the  will  of  God 
concerning  me — whether  life  or  death. 

•*  Through  grace  I  am  dctermin'd 

To  conquer  though  I  die, 
And  then  away  to  Jesus 

On  wings  of  love  I'll  fly : 
And  then  my  happy  station 

In  life's  fair  tree  shall  hove 
Close  by  the  throne  of  Jesus, 

Shut  up  with  God  above." 

O  that  I  may  consider  that  my  days  are  as  a  shadow 
that  passeth  away,  God  grant  that  I  may  secure  a  Jet 
among  the  blest. 

*'  My  suffering  time  will  soon  be  o'er, 
Then  shall  I  sigh  and  weep  no  more; 
My  ransom'd  soul  shall  soar  away, 
To  sing  God's  praise  in  endless  day." 

The  road  I  have  to  travel  is  interspersed  with^'oy*  and 
sorrows — and  the  only  way  to  be  happy  is  to  receive  the 
one  with  gratitude  and  the  other  with  submission,  O 
that  I  may  have  that  true  resignation  to  the  will  of 
heaven^  that  may  enable  me  to  rejoice  evermore,  and 
pray  without  ceasing,  and  in  every  thing  to'  give  thanks- 
thank  the  Lord  for  the  blessings  that  I  do  enjoy,  and  be 
patient  under  sufferings,  knowing  that  it  is  good  for  me 
to  be  afflicted,  that  I  may  know  my  own  weakness  the 
belter,  and  rely  only  on  the  strength  of  him  that  is  able 
to  save  all  those  that  put  their  trust  in  his  clemency  and 
mercy !  May  the  Lord  help  me  to  live  to  his  glory  while 
on  earth  I  stay. 

May  9th,  1813.  1  have  reason  to  bless  God  that  it  is 
as  well  with  me  as  it  is !  Whether  I  shall  ever  enjoy 
health  or  not  I  do  not  know — and  I  would  not  be  anxious 
concerning  it :  but  may  I  be  prepared  for  whatever  is  the 

6 


80  VICISSITUDES  IN 

will  of  the  Lord  concerning  me,  whether  life  or  death, 
health  or  sickness,  prosperity  or  adversity.  I  feel  a  desire 
to  see  my  Lorenzo  once  more  in  time  :  but  if  that  is 
denied  me,  may  I  be  enabled  to  say,  The  will  of  the 
Lord  be  done — and  may  we  meet  on  Canaan's  happy 
shore,  where  sorrow  will  be  turned  into  joy — and  all 
that's  earthly  in  our  souls  will  be  done  away,  and  in  its 
place  we  shall  have  the  nature  of  angels  and  saints. 

"  O  what  a  happy  company — 
Where  saints  and  angels  join  !" 

There  will  be  no  more  anger  nor  strife — no  more 
malice  nor  envyings,  evil  speaking,  nor  any  thing  that 
shall  mar  our  happiness,  or  give  us  pain — but  harmony 
and  peace  shall  for  ever  abound !  May  God  help  us  to 
be  faithful  to  him,  and  to  the  spirit  of  his  grace. 

"  How  tedious  and  tasteless  the  hours 

Wiien  Jesui  no  longer  I  see ; 
Sweet  prospects,  sweet  birds,  and  sweet  flow'rs, 

Have  all  lost  their  sweetness  to  me. 
The  midsummer  sun  shines  but  dim — 

The  fields  strive  in  vain  to  look  gay  j 
But  when  I  am  happy  in  him, 

December's  as  pleasant  as  May. 

"  His  name  yields  the  richest  perfume, 

And  sweeter  tlian  music  his  voice ; 
His  presence  disperses  my  gloom. 

And  makes  all  within  me  rejoice. 
I  should,  were  he  always  thus  nigh, 

Have  nothing  to  loish  or  lo  fear — 
No  mortal  so  happy  as  I, 

My  summer  would  last  all  the  year." 

O  that  1  could  always  be  enabled  to  put  my  trust  in 
him  in  everv  time  of  trouble — and  may  the  Lord  prepare 
me  for  death  and  glory.— 


THE  WILDERNESS.  81 

*'  There  on  a  green  and  flowery  mount 

Our  weary  souls  shall  sit ; 
And  with  transporting  joys  recount 

The  labours  of  our  feet !" 

May  10th.  I  am  in  a  lingering  state  of  health,  and 
whether  ever  I  shall  be  able  to  be  of  any  use  to  myself 
or  others  I  know  not — but  I  hope  that  I  may  be  enabled 
to  be  resigned  to  the  disposal  of  Providence,  and  say,  Not 
my  will  but  thine  be  done.  It  is  a  reality  that  we  are 
born  to  die,  and  after  death  to  come  to  judgment — and 
how  ought  we  to  live,  that  we  may  stand  acquitted  ia 
that  awful  day,  when  Christ  in  glory  shall  appear  to 
judge  both  the  quick  and  the  dead.  O  that  I  may  have 
"  my  robes  washed  and  made  white  in  the  blood  of  the 
Lamb,"  that  I  may  hear  the  welcome  sentence,  Come  ye 
blessed  of  my  Father,  inherit  the  kingdom  prepared  for 
you  from  the  foundation  of  the  world — O  happy  day — 
when  we  shall  be  delivered  from  this  body  of  clay,  that 
clogs  and  weighs  down  the  soul  oftentimes,  and  makes 
us  cry  out  with  the  apostle,  who  shall  deliver  me  from 
the  body  of  this  death  ! 

How  necessary  it  is,  for  us  to  watch  and  pray,  that  we 
enter  not  into  temptation— but  hold  fast  the  confidence 
that  we  have  in  a  blessed  Saviour. 

"  On  Jordan's  stormy  banks  I  stand, 

And  cast  a  wishful  eye,    ' 
To  Canaan's  fair  and  happy  land 

Where  my  possessions  lie. 
O  the  transporting  happy  scene 

That  rises  to  my  sight — 
Sweet  fields  array'd  in  living  green, 

And  rivers  of  delight. 

"  The  generous  fruits  that  never  fail, 

On  trees  immortal  grow  : 
There  rocks  and  hills,  and  brooks  and  vales, 

With  milk  and  honey  flow : 


IS3C56 


83  VICISSITUDES  IN 

All  o'er  those  wide  extended  plains, 

Shines  one  eternal  day  ; 
There  God  the  Son  forever  reigns, 

And  scatters  night  away." 

"  No  chilling  winds  nor  pois'nous  breath, 

Can  reach  that  healthful  shore; 
Sickness  and  sorrow — pain  and  death, 

Are  felt  and  fear'd  no  more. 
When  shall  I  reach  that  happy  place, 

And  be  for  ever  blest : 
When  I  shall  see  my  Father's  face, 

And  in  his  bosom  rest ! 

"Fill'd  with  delight  my  raptur'd  soul 

Can  here  no  longer  stay ; 
Though  Jordan's  waves  around  me  roll, 

Fearless  I'd  launch  away: 
There  on  those  high  and  flow'ry  plains, 

Our  spirits  ne'er  shall  tire; 
But  in  perpetual,  joyful  strains, 

Redeeming  love  admire. 

It  is  through  the  tender  mercy  of  God,  that  I  am  alive 
and  out  of  hell !  O  that  I  may  be  renewed  in  the  spirit 
of  my  mind !  May  all  the  earthly  dispositions  of  my 
heart  be  changed  into  heavenly,  that  I  may  be  prepared 
to  bid  adieu  to  this  world  of  sorroAV,  and  find  an  habita- 
tion of  peace,  where  the  wicked  cease  from  troubling, 
and  the  weary  be  at  rest.  My  God  help  me  to  be  faithful 
the  few  days  that  I  have  to  spend  on  earth.  My  heart 
hath  been  much  sunk  under  a  weight  of  sorrow — when  I 
consider  how  far  Irom  God  and  heaven,  and  what  I  would 
be,  I  am  ! — O  that  the  cry  of  my  soul  may  be,  Dear 
Jesiis^  raise  me  higherf!  I  long  io  be  Ao/y,  as  Thou  art 
holy.  May  the  Lord  help  me  to  rely  on  his  mercy  and 
goodness  for  all  that  is  to  come — and  say  without  rescn'e, 
"  The  will  of  the  Lord  be  done." 


<Sf>;a» 


THE  WILDERNESS,  83 

"  O  God,  my  help  in  ages  past, 

My  hope  for  years  to  come; 
My  shelter  from  flie  stormy  blast, 

And  my  eternal  home." 

Prepare  me  lor  that  happy  day,  when  all  the  saints 
get  home — and  sit  down  at  the  right  hand  of  God — 
where  we  shall  be  freed  from  all  the  toils  and  troubles 
of  life,  and  have  pleasure  without  end — where  trouble 
and  anguish  cannot  enter,  but  all  shall  be  harmony  and 
peace ! 

"  O  what  a  glorious  company, 
When  saints  and  angels  meet" — 

in  robes  of  white  arrayed — when  Christ  shall  wipe  all 
tears  from  our  eyes,  and  we  shall  be  admitted  to  sit  down 
with  Abraham,  Isaac,  and  Jacob,  and  all  the  saints  that 
have  gone  through  much  tribulation,  and  washed  their 
robes,  and  made  them  white  in  the  blood  of  the  Lamb. 
May  my  heart  and  life  be  conformed  to  the  gospel,  that  I 
may  be  a  comfort  to  my  companion,  and  a  blessing  to 
society ; 

"  And  may  my  sun  in  smiles  decline — 
And  bring  a  pleasing  night." 

The  men  that  love  the  Lord  are  happy  in  this  world 
and  in  the  next !  O  may  that  be  my  happy  lot — may  the 
Lord  help  me  to  tear  every  idol  from  my  heart,  and  may 
he  reign  without  a  rival  there.  I  feel  my  heart's  desire 
is,  to  love  the  Lord  with  my  whole  heart. 

*'  This  is  a  woiid  of  trouble  and  grief  I  plainly  see ; 
But  when  in  deepest  sorrow,  O  God,  I  look  to  Thee ! 
Thou  deliver^dst  Danid,  when  in  the  lions'  den — 
And  if  thou  didst  protect  him,  O  why  not  other  men  !*' 

Help  me  to  pray  without  ceasing,  and  in  every  thing 
give  thanks  !     May  my  soul's  concern  and  only  care  be, 
10  secure  a  lot  among  the  blest — that  when  my  days  are 
6* 


84  VICISSITUDES  IN 

ended  on  earth,  I  may  receive  an  inheritance  that  can 
never  be  taken  from  me  I  May  God  preserve  my  com- 
panion while  absent. 

In  my  days  of  childhood^  the  Providence  of  God  was 
over  me  to  preserve  me  from  evil ;  although  I  lost  my 
mother,  one  of  the  most  invaluable  blessings  that  a  child 
can  be  deprived  of,  particularly  a  female.  Yet  the  Lord 
was  my  friend,  and  brought  me  up  to  the  years  of  matu- 
rity, with  a  mind  as  little  tainted  with  the  evil  practices 
that  are  prevalent  among  young  people  as  most.  My 
sister  was  very  careful  to  teach  me  the  way  of  rectitude 
in  my  earliest  days,  which  was  of  great  benefit  to  me  in 
my  journey  through  life.  And  I  doubt  not,  if  mothers 
would  begin  with  their  children  when  they  are  young, 
they  might  mould  them  into  almost  SLny  frame  they  chose. 
But  instead  of  paying  that  attention  to  their  moi'als  while 
their  minds  are  young,  and  susceptible  of  good  impres- 
sions, as  they  ought ;  they  suffer  them  to  mix  with  those 
that  are  wicked  to  a  proverb ;  thinking  there  is  no  dan- 
ger— they  are  too  young  to  be  injured  by  any  bad  example 
or  precept.  But  they  find,  when  it  is  too  late,  that  their 
minds  are  too  easily  impressed  with  evil ;  and  habits, 
which  are  imbibed  in  childhood,  are  not  so  easily  eradi- 
cated :  and  through  their  neglect,  many  that  might  be 
shining  characters  in  society,  a  blessing  to  the  age  that 
they  live  in,  they  are  but  a  nuisance  to  mankind,  and  are 
rearing  up  another  set  to  walk  in  their  tracks.  Thus  the 
world  is  contaminated  by  the  mismanagement  of  mothers  ! 
My  heart  has  often  been  pained,  to  see  the  dear  little 
innocents  suffered  to  run  at  random ;  and  taught  nothing 
that  would  be  of  service  to  them,  either  in  this  world,  or 
in  the  next !  May  the  Lord  open  the  eyes  of  those  that 
have  the  care  of  children,  to  see  the  importance  of  their 
charge  ;  and  enable  them  to  do  their  duty — that  the  rising 
generation  may  be  more  obedient  to  their  parents,  more 
attentive  to  the  duty  they  owe  their  God — then  they  will 
be  a  greater  blessing  to  society,  and  will  be  better  quali- 
fied to  fill  up  that  sphere  in  life  which  they  may  be  called 
to — and  above  all,  be  prepared  for  those  happy  regions, 
where  all  will  be  harmony  and  peace  ! 

After  my  marriage,  leaving  the  place  where  I  had 
lived  from  my  early  days,  I  was  placed  in  quite  a  different 


THE  WILDERNESS.  «5 

«pliere  of  life.  Unacquainted  with  the  variety  of  man* 
jiers  and  dispositions  of  mankind,  I  thought  all  who  pro- 
fessed friendship  were  friends;  but  I  have  found  myself 
mistaken  in  many  instances.  Some  that  at  one  ti-me  would 
■appear  Uke  as  if  •there  was  nothing  too  good  that  they 
"COuld  do  for  one,  at  another  lime  Avere  so  cool  and  dis* 
tant,  that  one  would  be  ready  to  conclude  they  could  not 
be  the  same  people!  These  c<3nstant  changes  have,  in 
some  measure,  taught  ]sie  this  lesson,  tfeat  we  are  all  frail 
mortals,  liable  to  change;  and  there  is  but  <fne  scHirce 
ihat  is  permanent.  There  we  may  place  implicit  coiifi- 
dence,  and  we  will  not  be  deceived, 

I  have  abundant  cause  to  be  thankful  to  my  great 
Benefactor,  for  the  continued  favours  bestowed  me — and 
for  many  kind  friends  who  have  administered  to  my 
necessities  in  the  time  of  adversity:  may  the  great  Mas- 
ter reward  them  richly  m  this  world,  and  in  that  which 
is  to  come,  eternal  life  and  glory !  It  is  said  to  be  more 
blessed  to  give  than  receive,  therefore,  those  that  have  it 
in  their  power  to  do  good  to  the  needy  sons  and  daughters 
of  affliction,  and  follow  the  dictates  of  charity,  will  have 
a.  double  reward:  they  will  feel  a  sweet  peace  in  their 
own  souls  while  they  are  travelling  through  this  un^-^ 
friendly  world,  and  when  they  come  to  bid  adieu  to  ^^.11 
things  beJow  the  sun,  they  will  have  a  glorious  prospect 
of  a  happy  entrance  into  the  blest  abode  of  saints  and 
angels ! 

**  O  may  my  lot  be  cast  with  these, 
The  least  of  Jesus'  witnesses" — 

on  earth — and  at  last  be  joined  to  that  happy  company 
above  the  skies  ! 

What  need  there  is  to  watch  and  pray,  and  guard 
against  the  vain  allurements  of  this  world ;  to  steer  our 
course  between  the  rocks  on  either  hand,  that  we  may 
gain  the  destined  port  of  eternal  repose  in  the  bosom  of 
our  once  crucified,  but  now  risen  and  exalted  Saviour. 

Our  hearts  are  too  often  fixed  on  the  vain  and  transient 
things  of  time  and  sense,  while  the  important  concerns 
of  eternal  happiness  or  misery  are  almost,  if  not  quite 
fteglected !     We  are  leaving  nothing  undone  that  we  can 


86  VICISSITUDES  IN 

accomplish  to  lay  up  treasure  on  earth,  which  will  perish 
in  the  using — wnile  the  imwortal  part,  that  will  have  aa 
existence  as  long  as  its  Author  exists,  lieth  in  ruins  !  O 
what  madness  !  This  poor  hody,  what  is  it,  but  a  dying 
lump  of  clay  !  that  must  in  a  few  revolving-  days  be  con- 
signed to  the  dust  from  whence  it  was  taken!  What 
will  it  avail  us  then — ^whether  we  were  rich  or  poor, 
noble  or  ignoble.  The  main  point  will  then  be,  whether 
we  have  spent  our  time  in  the  service  of  God,  or  have 
devoted  it  to  the  pleasures  and  vanities  of  the  world — to 
please  ourselves,  instead  of  obeying  the  calls  of  the  gos- 

f»el,  and  taking  up  the  cross !  O  that  these  things  may 
ay  with  serious  weight  on  our  minds,  that  we  may  make 
sure  work  for  eternity,  and  spend  no  time  unprofitably, 
but  husband  it  to  the  best  advantage. 

The  various  scenes  of  life  make  such  an  impression  on 
our  minds,  that  we  are  often  brought  into  such  perplex! 
ties,  that  we  hardly  know  which  way  to  turn :  but  if  we 
could  always  live  in  the  enjoyment  of  that  Faith,  which 
it  is  our  privilege  to  possess,  we  should  never  be  at  a  loss. 
I  have  passed  through  many  trying  situations  in  Europe 
and  America. — ^but  the  Lord  hath  been  my  helper  thus 
far,  through  all  the  vicissitudes  attending  the  journey 
OF  LIFE  !  And  I  hope,  one  day  to  outstrip  the  wind, 
beyond  the  bounds  of  time — where  there  will  be  no  more 
uncertainty  or  disappointment — where  peace  and  har- 
mony shall  for  ever  abound  : — after  all  our  troubles  here, 
how  sweet  and  consoling  rest  will  be !  May  the  Lord 
help  me  to  live  near  to  the  bleeding  side  of  a  crucified 
Redeemer — willing  to  take  up  my  cross  and  follow  him 
where  he  may  lead,  if  it  is  to  go  through  fire  or  water. 
These  are  trying  times — the  love  of  many  is  waxing 
cold.  How  soon  we  may  be  called  to  a  fresh  trial  of  our 
FAITH,  we  cannot  tell : — may  we  stand  Jirm,  knowing 
that  all  shall  work  together  for  good  to  those  that  love 
GOD. 

How  many  and  various  are  the  difficulties  of  life,  while 
travelling  through  this  vale  of  tears,  to  the  place  of  rest, 
whither  we  are  all  hastening.  Were  it  not  for  the  mix- 
ture of  pleasure  that  we  find  interwoven  in  those  pains, 
we  should  often  sink  under  them — but  he  that  rides  upon 
Ihe  winds,  and  can  command  them  at  a  nod,  undertakes 


THE  mLDERNESS.  87 

our  cause;  and  makes  a  way  for  us,  when  we  see  none — 
and  cannot  tell  which  way  we  must  go  !  I  am  indebted 
to  that  great  and  beneficent  Hand  for  all  the  mercies 
Jhai  I  do  enjoy.  O  that  ray  heart  may  be  filled  with 
gratitude  to  God  for  these  favours. 

I  arrived  in  New  York  with  ray  companion,  towards 
the  last  of  March,  1814 — where  I  met  with  kind  friends, 
particularly  brother  Munson  and  his  family.  They  are 
like  they  were  our  own  dear  brothers  and  sisters  :  may  the 
Lord  reward  them  in  this  world  and  in  the  next !  Here  I 
met  with  my  old  friend  sister  Lester — she  is  still  the 
same — may  the  Lord  prosper  her  on  her  journey  to  a 
glorious  eternity  I  I  have  found  as  kind  friends  of  late 
as  I  could  expect — O  that  my  heart  may  ever  feel  grate- 
ful to  my  God  for  all  his  mercies  to  unworthy  me  !  I 
ha-e  felt  a  greater  desire  to  be  all  devoted  to  the  Lord, 
(soul  and  body,  and  all  that  I  have  and  am,  for  time  and 
eternity,)  of  late,  than  I  have  felt  for  a  long  time  !  I  do 
not  expect  to  find  that  place,  while  I  am  an  inhabitant  of 
this  lower  world,  where  there  is  nothing  to  trouble  or 
afflict  either  body  or  mind.  May  the  great  Master  give 
me  more  of  that  spirit  of  humility  ;  that  it  may  enable 
me  to  be  willing  to  suffer  all  the  righteous  will  of  God; 
and  when  called  to  bid  adieu  to  all  below  the  sun,  that  I 
may  have  a  pleasing  prospect  of  a  glorious  immortality  ! 
O  how  sweet  and  delightful  must  be  the  scene,  to  a  soul 
that  has  been  tossed  on  the  ocean  of  time ;  and  hath 
fought  their  passage  through,  and  got  within  view  of  the 
happy  land : 

"When  all  their  sorrows  will  be  o'er; 

Their  suff'ring  and  their  pain  : 
Who  meet  on  that  eternal  shore 

Shall  never  part  again  1" 

O  may  be  I  prepared  to  meet  those  that  have  gone  before, 
and  those  that  may  come  after !" 

May  lOth,  1814.  We  have  been  in  New  York  for 
several  weeks,  and  kindly  treated  by  many — may  the 
Lord  reward  theml 

Though  many  hare  been  my  trials  and  afflictions  the 


88  VICISSITUDES  IN 

last  four  or  five  years  of  my  life,  yet  the  Lord  hath  been 
my  friend — and  I  feel  a  desire  to  devote  the  remainder 
of  my  days  in  his  service.  How  long  I  shall  be  an 
inhabitant  of  this  world  of  woe,  is  uncertain  to  me — I 
feel  the  seeds  of  death  in  this  mortal  frame — and  it  is 
my  earnest  desire  to  become  more  and  more  acquainted 
with  my  own  heart,  that  when  the  summons  shall  arrive, 
I  may  not  be  alarmed,  hut  rejoice  to  go  and  be  at  rest ! 
O  how  soon  my  heart  sinks  down  to  earth  again  !  O  my 
Lord,  help  rne  to  keep  my  eye  upon  the  prize  !  and  my 
heart  stayed  on  Thee  !  that  this  world  may  have  no 
charms  sufficient  to  draw  me  from  the  contemplation  of 
heaven  and  glory ! 

"  Was  I  possessor  of  the  earth, 

And  call'd  the  stars  my  own, 
Without  thy  graces,  and  thyself, 

I  were  a  wretch  undone  ! 
Let  others  stretch  their  arms  like  seaa 

And  grasp  in  all  the  shore  j 
Grant  me  the  visits  of  thy  grace, 

And  I  desire  no  more.'' 

May  I  ever  lay  at  the  feet  of  my  glorious  Redeemer,  who 
hath  bought  my  pardon  on  the  tree  !  My  soul  is  pained 
on  the  account  of  those  that  were  once  plain,  humble  fol- 
lowers of  the  meek  and  lowly  Jesus  ;  but  now  are  so 
conformed  to  the  world,  that  they  can  hardly  be  distin- 
guished from  them  !  How  long  will  they  sleep  in  secu- 
rity, wandering  from  God — pursuing  a  shadow  instead  of 
a  substance  !  How  vain  are  all  things  below  the  sun  I 
We  may  have  prosperity  one  day,  and  the  next  may 
prove  quite  the  reverse  !  How  necessary  it  is  to  have 
our  hearts  detached  from  the  world,  and  placed  on  a 
more  durable  object ! 

May  13th,  1814.  I  am  this  day  under  renewed  obliga- 
tions to  the  great  Preserver  for  the  blessings  that  I  enjoy — 
my  life  is  preserved,  and  I  have  kind  friends  that  appear 
willing  to  supply  all  my  wants.  May  God,  that  is  able 
to  give  me  the  inward  consolation  of  the  Holy  Spirit, 
enable  me  to  draw  water  out  of  the  fountain  that  never 


THE  WILDERNESS.  89 

will  run  dry  !  I  long  to  be  more  holy  in  heart  and  life  ; 
and  then  I  shall  surely  be  more  happy  !  O  my  soul, 
arise!  and  shake  thyself,  and  put  on  thy  beautiful  gar- 
ments 1  and  then,  I  can  rejoice  in  tribulation,  knowing 
that  tribulation  worketh  patience ;  and  what  a  charming 
trait  it  is  in  the  Christian  character — that  of  'patience  ! 
O  that  I  may  learn  to  possess  my  soul  in  patience  in  this 
day  of  trial !  The  times  are  gloomy,  and  we  need  to  be 
continually  at  the  throne  of  grace,  and  cry  mightily  to 
God  to  stand  by  us ;  that  we  may  keep  the  narrow  road, 
and  not  turn  to  the  right  hand  or  to  the  left, 

Sunday,  May  15th,  1814.  I  thank  the  Lord  that  I  have 
once  more  had  the  privilege  of  hearing  the  sweet  sound 
of  the  gospel,  from  these  words  :  "  By  whom  shall  Jacob 
arise,  for  he  is  small."  I  Avish  it  may  sink  into  the  hearts 
of  those  that  heard  it!  In  the  first  place,  he  told  what 
was  meant  by  Jacob  or  Israel — spiritually  the  church  of 
Christ;  and  then  went  on  to  tell  why  it  was  styled  small 
in  those  days,  as  well  as  at  the  present  day.  First, 
because  the  professed  clergy  were  not  faithful,  but  were 
fallen  asleep  upon  their  watch  tower;  and  did  not  warn 
the  people  of  their  danger  as  they  ought.  Secondly, 
wicked  rulers^  by  their  bad  example,  prevent  that  good 
being  done  as  otherwise  would  be,  if  they  were  men  that 
truly  loved  and  feared  God.  And  thirdly,  the  laity^  those 
that  heard  the  sound  of  the  gospel,  did  not  make  that  im- 
provement of  the  precious  opportunities  which  they  enjoy- 
ed as  they  ought.  Parents  set  bad  examples  before  their 
children — this  was  one  great  cause  why  we  so  seldom 
saw  the  young  and  rising  generation  turning  to  God  ! 
And  fourthly,  and  lastly,  he  showed  by  whom  Jacob  must 
arise — it  was  our  duty  to  pray  in  faith,  but  it  was  God 
that  gave  the  increase — therefore,  we  must  hope  and 
believe  that  God  would  hear  our  prayers,  and  convert  our 
children  and  neighbours,  and  prosper  Zion.  If  we  were 
united  in  heart,  so  as  to  be  like  an  army  with  banners, 
and  not  let  the  spirit  of  division  get  in  among  us.  and 
cry  out  "  I  am  of  Paul,  and  I  am  of  Apollos,  and  I  or 
Cephas,  and  I  of  Christ — but  all  must  be  of  one  mind 
and  heart  in  Christ  Jesus  the  Lord!  Then  we  should 
see  how  the  church  would  prosper,  and  what  glorious 


9D  VICISSITUDES  m 

seasons  we  should  have  !     But  the  times  are  gloomy,  and 
when  the  cloud  will  disperse  we  cannot  tell. 

May  19th,  Lorenzo  is  quite  unwell—trials  await  usy 
but  may  our  trust  be  in  the  Lord,  that  he  will  deliver  us 
from  all  our  troubles  at  last,  and  land  us  safe  on  the 
peaceful  shores  of  blest  eternity  j  where  all  our  toils  will 
be  over — our  suifering  and  our  pain  ;  where  we  shal)  join 
the  happy  millions  that  surround  the  throne  of  God,  and 
sing  hallelujah  to  God  and  the  Lamb  for  ever  and  ever  1 

"  Our  moments  fly  apace, 

!Nor  will  our  minutes  stay  j 
Just  like  a  flood  our  hasty  days 

Are  sweeping  us  away," 

May  our  hearts  be  inspired  with  love  and  gratitude  to 
the  great  Giver  of  all  things,  for  the  mercies  we  do 
enjoy — to  enable  us  to  improve  every  moment  to  the 
glory  of  God,  and  our  own  good  I 

May  20th,  1814.  We  are  at  Hoboken,  a  delightful 
spot  of  the  earth,  upon  the  Jersey  side  of  the  river,  oppo- 
site New  York — where,  from  the  window  of  the  room 
we  occupy,  we  have  a  grand  view  of  the  city,  with  the 
majestic  steeples  of  the  different  churches,  reaching  their 
lofty  heads  almost  to  the  lowering  skies — while  the  beau- 
tiful trees  that  are  interspersed  among  the  houses,  with 
the  surrounding  country,  which  can  also  be  seen  at  the 
same  time,  conspire  to  make  it  a  most  enchanting  pros- 
pect !  On  the  other  hand,  the  Jersey  side  presents  to 
view,  decorated  with  all  the  charms  of  Spring — green 
trees  and  shady  groves ;  while  the  delightful  songsters  of 
the  woods  tune  their  harmonious  throats  in  praising  their 
great  Creator!  These  beauties  of  nature  all  joined  in 
concert,  one  would  suppose,  could  not  fail  to  excite  grati- 
tude in  the  hard  and  obdurate  heart  of  man,  the  most 
noble  work  of  our  great  Creator!  But  lamentable  to 
tell  !-^they  appear  to  be  less  thankful  than  the  birds  that 
fly  in  open  space,  or  even  the  reptiles  that  crawl  upon 
the  earth,  for  they  answer  the  end  for  which  they  were 
made — but  man,  who  was  formed  in  the  image  of  his 
God,  and  not  holy  indebted  to  him  for  creation^  but  also 
for  redemption  in  the  blood  of  Jesus,  tramples  on  his 


THE  WILDERNESS.  91 

mercies,  and  dispises  the  oflfers  of  his  grace ;  and  live 
more  like  beasts,  than  creatures  possessed  of  rationality  ! 
O  that  men  would  learn  to  love  and  serve  the  Lord  ! 

We  are  at  the  house  of  a  kind  family,  but  they  do  not 
profess  religion.  May  the  Lord  make  our  stay  with  them 
a  blessing  to  their  souls,  and  to  the  neighbourhood  where 
they  live  !  For  the  peopfe  in  this  place,  by  what  I  can 
learn,  are  quite  careless  about  their  souls!  O  that  the 
Lord  may  make  use  of  some  measures  to  bring  them  to 
a  knowledge  of  the  truth — my  soul  longs  to  see  a  revival 
of  religion  take  place  once  more  ! 

May  21st.  I  am  still  alive,  and  out  of  a  never-ending 
eternity  ;  for  which  may  my  heart  be  filled  with  gratitude 
to  him  that  sustains  and  supplies  me  with  every  nee^^ed 
blessing  ;  who  inclines  the  hearts  of  my  fellow  mortals 
to  treat  me  with  kindness !  O  how  much  I  am  indebted 
to  my  God — and  how  little  is  my  heart  affected  with  a 
grateful  sense  of  his  goodness  !  O  that  he  ivould  implant, 
deep  in  my  soul,  lore  to  God  and  man;  with  a  heart-felt 
sense  of  my  dependence  upon  him,  for  all  the  favours 
which  1  do  enjoy. 

From  Sunday  until  Monday  we  were  in  New  York  at 
brother  Munson's,  the  greatest  part  ofthe  time.  Lorenzo 
is  printing  his  Journal,  n^ith  some  other  tracts  ;  which 
has  detained  him  in  and  about  this  city  far  longer  than  he 
expected  to  have  stayed  when  we  came  here — but  the 
way  seemed  to  open  for  him  to  print  his  books,  and  he 
thought  it  best  to  improve  the  present  opening,  and  hope 
it  may  prove  a  blessing  to  many. 

On  Wednesday  afternoon  we  came  over  to  Mr.  Ander- 
son's a^ain  ;  where  we  met  with  the  same  kind  reception 
which  he  had  experienced  some  days  before.  Mrs.  An- 
derson was  very  siek,  but  was  something  better  the  next 
day.  Lorenzo  preached  to  the  people  in  this  place  on 
Wednesday  evening,  and  had  a  crowded  house.  May 
the  seed  take  root  in  some  heart,  and  bear  fruit  to  perfec- 
tion I  I  feel  the  need  of  more  faith,  to  be  enabled  to  put 
my  tricst  in  the  great  Giver  of  every  good  and  perfect 
gift — my  heart  too  often  wanders  from  the  right  source. 
O  that  my  mind  may  be  stayed  on  God  in  every  trying 
hour— 1  long  to  be  made  holy  in  heart  and  life  ;  and  feel 
a  willingness  lo  bear  the  cross  like  a  good  sol(fier  of  Jesus 
7 


92  ViClSSITUDES  IN 

Christ,  that  when  the  sun  of  life  shall  deeliiie,  I  may 
har^e  a  pleasing  prospect  of  a  happy  eternity  ! 

Saturday,  May  28th,  Through  the  goodness  of  God  I 
enjoy  better  health  than  I  have  done  for  more  than  two 
vears  before.  May  my  hean  be  filled  with  love  and 
gratitude  to  the  Great  and  Beneficent  hand  that  is  daiJy 
showering  down  blessings  on-  my  unworthy  head,  and 
improve  Foy  lengthened  days,  in  doing  good  to  myself 
and  others  1  For  why  should  I  be  useless  in  this  time  of 
need  7  But,  O  I  my  heart  shrinks  at  the  cross  I  May 
the  Lord  help  me  to  be  willing  to  take  it  up,  and  follow 
Jesus  in  the  way  I  When  we  consider  the  shortness 
of  time,  and  the  length  of  eternity,  we  perceive  there 
is  Tao  time  to  loose  j  but  a  necessity  to  improve  every 
moment  to  the  best  advantage.  May  it  be  impressed  on 
my  heart » 

May  31si.  I  desire  to  have  my  heart  filled  with  grate- 
ful songs  of  prgise,  to  the  God  of  all  grace  and  mereies, 
for  his  favours  tt>  me !  Through  ev^ry  lane  of  life,  he 
hath  provided  me  ktad  friends,  in  the  day  of  adversity  as 
well  as  in  the  day  of  prosperity.  What  reason  have  I  to 
be  faithful  to  my  God  for  all  those  blessings !  May  the 
Lord  help  me  ever*  to  lie  at  the  feet  of  the  Saviour,  and 
learn  instruction  from  his  lip^ !  I  am  still  at  Captain 
Anderson's,  at  the  beautiful  little  town  of  Hoboken,  as 
charming  a  place  as  I  almost  ever  saw.  O,  what  a  pity 
there  is  not  (as  I  knoAv  of)  one  person  in  this  place  that 
enjoys  religion  ;  or  at  least,  not  many  feeding  much  con- 
cern for  their  souls  ;  and  they  have  no  preaching,  except 
by  the  Baptists,  who  preach  up  "  particular  election"  and 
reprobation,  in  the  strongest  terms  that  I  ever  he^rd.  I 
went  to  hear  them  on  Sunday  last,  and  my  heart  was 
truly  pained,  to  hear  a  man  get  up  and  address  a  number 
of  people,  (who  were  unacquainted  with  the  way  of 
salvation,  and  for  aught  I  know,  were  linng  in  the  neg- 
lect of  their  duty  altogether,)  in  this  way  j  that  they 
"  could  do  nothing ;  they  must  be  taken  by  an  irresistible 
power,  and  be  brought  in."  But  my  heart  replied,  "  Ho, 
every  one  that  ihirsteth,  come  ye  to  the  waters  ;  and  he 
that  hath  no  money,  come  buy  wine  and  milk,  without 
money  and  without  price!"  What  a  pity  it  is.  that  men 
should  darken  cpuDcil  by  vrords  witboMt  knowledge! 


THE  WILDERNESS.  93 

For  It  is  expressly  sa.id,  that  all  may  come  thai  will ;  and 
tthat  they  shall  in  no  wise  be  shut  out.  May  God  stop 
the  mouths  of  those  that  attempt  to  speak  in  his  name, 
who  are  not  called  and  qualified  by  the  Spirit,  for  the 
work !  but  bkss  and  prosper  those  that  have  taken  their 
iives  in  their  hands,  and  have  gone  forth  to  call  sinners 
10  repentaiTtce,  offering  a  free  salvation  to  all  tl>e  fallen 
race  of  Adam^ 

June  1st.  What  a  miracle  of  mercy  it  is,  that  I  am 
still  spared  oii  this  side  eternity,  whilst  many  of  my  fel- 
low-mortals have  been  called  from  tiie  stage  of  action; 
sheir  bodies  numbered  with  the  pale  nations  under  ground, 
and  their  souls  taken  flight  to  a  world  of  spirits  ;  whilst  I, 
she  most  unprofitable,  perhaps,  of  any,  am  spared,  and 
«ajoy  a  tolerable  state  of  health,  so  much  better  than  I 
once  expected  I  ever  should.  May  my  heart  be  made 
truly  sensible  of  the  duty  I  owe  to  the  great  God  of 
Sieaven  and  earth  ;  whose  name  is  terrible  to  all  who  are 
in  any  measure  sensible  of  his  Majesty  and  Power,  And 
also  I  desire  to  know  and  do  my  duty  to  my  fellow-mor- 
gals ;  but  I  tremble  at  the  cross  1  O  that  I  may  be  deli- 
irered  from  "  the  fear  of  man,  which  bringeth  a  saare  1" 

"My  drowsy  powers  why  sSeep  ye  sot 

"  Awake,  ray  sluggish  soul  \ 

^' Nothing  hath  half  thy  work  to  do; 

'''  Yet  nothing  is  half  so  dull ! 

*'  Go  to  the  ants  ;  for  one  poor  grain 

''  See  how  they  toil  and  strive ; — 

"  Yet  we  who  have  a  heaven  to  obtaiij^ 

^'  How  negligent  we  live  ! 

^'  Waken,  O  Lord,  my  drowsy  sense, 

*'  To  walk  Uiis  dangerous  road  ; 

■"  That  if  «ay  soul  be  hurried  hence, "^ 

May  it  be  found  m.  G^d  i 

Jiiae  2d.  I  am  this  day  tinder  renewed  ^j-bligatioas  to 
that  Hand  which  hath  supplied  all  my  necessities,  frcMs 
ray  earliest  days,  until  the  present  period  of  time.  O 
that  I  may  lie  in  the  vailty  of  humility,  under  a  sense  of 


94  VICISSITUDES  IN 

the  numerous  favours  bestOAved  upon  me,  by  the  hand  of 
an  ever  bountiful  God !  and  improve  the  moments  that 
are  allotted  me,  to  the  glory  of  his  great  Name,  and  the 
good  of  my  own  immortal  soul !  I  feel  my  heart  is  too 
often  placed  upon  things  below  the  sun — may  the  Lord 
help  me  to  tear  my  heart  and  affections  from  earth,  and 
place  them  on  things  above. 

My  Lorenzo's  mind  is  exercised  and  drawn  out  to  visit 
.  foreign  lands,  to  call  sinners  to  repentance  ;  and  1  would 
not  stand  in  his  way  above  all  things,  but  I  feel  the  need 
of  more  grace  ;  to  acquiesce  in  all  circumstances,  in  the 
will  of  Providence  ;  which  I  desire  to  do  more  than  any 
thing  beside.  May  the  God  of  all  grace,  enable  me  to 
say — "not  my  will  but  thine  be  done."  Lord,  may  I  be 
made  of  some  use  to  my  fellow  creatures  while  on  earth 
I  stay,  that  I  need  not  be  quite  useless,  while  I  am  an 
iahabitant  of  this  lower  world  I — It  is  now  night,  and  the 
evening  shades  prevail.  The  sun  hath  set  beyond  the 
western  sky,  and  the  Lord  only  knows  whether  I  shall 
see  the  return  of  another  day  !  May  he  take  charge  of 
me  this  night ;  and  grant,  that  whether  I  sleep,  or  what- 
ever I  do,  I  may  have  a  single  eye  to  his  glory,  and  be 
prepared  to  meet  my  "  last  enemy"  in  peace!  May  God 
reward  my  kind  benefactors  with  every  needed  blessing. 

Sunday,  June  12th.  This  hath  been  a  day  of  deep 
trial  to  my  soul.  There  having  been  an  appointment 
made,  for  my  Lorenzo  to  preach  in  the  African  church, 
at  six  o'clock,  and  the  people  appearing  anxious  to  see 
me,  as  many  of  tbem  had  not,  it  was  published  that  I 
would  be  there,  and  perhaps  I  would  subjoin  a  few  words 
by  way  of  exhortation  :  this  made  such  an  impression  on 
the  minds  of  people,  that  they  came  out  in  such  q'lanti- 
ties,  that  they  could  not  get  into  the  house.  I  took  ray 
seat  in  the  altar ;  and  after  Lorenzo  had  given  them  a 
discourse  from  these  words — "  O  earth,  earth,  earth,  hear 
the  word  of  the  Lord," — I  rose  up  and  spoke  a  few 
words;  but  the  cross  was  so  weighty,  I  did  not  fully 
answer  my  mind.  I  closed  the  meeting  by  striving  to 
lift  my  heart  to  God,  in  prayer,  with  some  degree  of 
liberty.  May  the  Lord  deliver  me  from  the  fear  of  man, 
which  bringeth  a  snare  !  Why  should  we  be  so  much 
under  the  influence  of  the  enemy,  as  not  to  speak  for  our 


THE  WILDERNESS,  95 

God  in  these  important  times,  when  wickedness  doth  so 
much  abound,  and  the  love  of  many  is  waxing  cold,  and 
others  are  carrying  such  burthens  I  O  may  the  God  of 
all  grace  stand  by  and  support  his  people  in  this  day  of 
trial !  The  storm  is  gathering  fast,  and  who  will  be  able 
to  stand,  while  the  anger  of  the  Lord  is  pouring  out  upon 
the  iuhabiiants  of  the  earth,  for  .their  ingratitude,  parti- 
cularly those  of  our  favoured  land,  America  !  We  have 
had  peace  and  plenty  for  many  years;  but  the  fulness  of 
bread  was  the  destruction  of  Sodom!  O  that  it  may  not 
be  the  case  with  us! 

June  13th,  May  my  soul  and  body  be  altogether 
devoted  to  that  God,  who  hath  provided  for  me  ever  since 
I  have  had  an  existence  !  I  have  in  some  instances  been 
brought  into  trying  circumstances;  but  there  hath  always 
been  a  way  opened  for  me,  so  that  I  have  never  lacked 
any  thing  so  much  as  to  say  that  I  was  in  a  suffering 
condition.  For  if  I  had  it  not,  nor  wherewith  to  procure 
it  for  myself,  yet  the  Lord  that  hath  the  hearts  of  all  men 
in  his  hands,  would  raise  up  soine  one  to  supply  my 
wants !  Giory  !  glory  !  be  to  his  Name  for  ever  and  ever, 
for  all  his  mercies,  to  such  an  unworthy  mortal  as  me  I — 
What  is  past  we  know  ;  but  what  is  to  come  we  cannot 
tell.  May  we  be  prepared  for  whatever  lies  before  us  !  The 
cloud  seems  gathering  fast  over  our  land!  May  the  God 
that  rules  on  high — that  all  the  earth  surveys,  avert  the 
threatening  storm,  and  deliver  us  from  the  power  of 
our  enemies.— O  the  charms  of  America!  shall  they 
he  destroyed  by  foreigners  ?  Shall  the  rich  jewel  of 
LIBERTY  be  plucked  from  the  American  croicn  by 
TYRANTS  ?— Forbid  it  mighty  God !— and  grant,  if 
we  need  chastisements,  as  no  doubt  we  do,  as  a  nation, 
to  let  us  fall  into  THY  HAND,  rather  than  into  the 
hand  of  man,  for  thou  art  merciful !  O  that  the  people 
of  this  favoured  land,  might  learn  to  be  wise,  in  time  to 
save  our  country  from  destruction  !  My  soul  mourns  on 
account  of  my  fellow-mortals  !  May  they  be  made  sen- 
sible of  the  necessity  of  making  their  peace  with  God. 
before  the  evil  day  shall  come,  when  they  shall  say  "  I 
have  no  pleasure  in  them." 

June  14th.  Through  the  farour  and  goodness  of  God 
I  am  still  aiiyt,  and  am  blessed  mtb  as  good  health,  as  I 
7* 


96  VICISSITUDES  IN 

have  enjoyed  for  many  months ;  and  trust  my  face  is 
Zion-ward.  Forever  praised  be  the  Lord  for  all  blessings 
which  I  do  enjoy.  O  may  my  soul  drink  deeper  and 
deeper  into  that  spirit  which  will  enable  me  to  bear  the 
cross  with  joy  ;  and  not  shrink  from  it  like  a  coward, 
and  the  crown  fall  from  my  head,  and  others  take  the 
prize. 

June  18th.  Through  the  tender  mercy  of  the  Lord, 
who  is  over  all  and  above  all,  I  am  still  an  inhabitant  of 
this  lower  world,  surrounded  by  dangers  and  difficulties ; 
liable  to  stray  in  bye  and  forbidden  paths  ;  and  the  way 
appears  so  gloomy  that  I  tremble  at  the  prospect.  I  feel 
much  concerned  for  the  present  state  of  my  beloved 
country.  There  is  so  much  dissention  among  the  people 
of  this  most  favoured  of  all  lands,  that  I  fear  for  its  con- 
sequence. My  heart  has  often  been  pained,  to  see  the 
INGRATITUDE  which  has  been  prevalent  in  our 
peaceful,  plentiful,  and  happy  country. — Whilst  other 
nations  were  almost  deluged  in  blood,  we  have  been 
blessed  with  peace  in  our  borders;  and  the  glorious 
gospel  has  been  spread  from  shore  to  shore.  But  these 
happy  days  are  gone,  and  for  aught  I  know,  or  can  see,  it 
may  be  long  before  they  will  return,  unless  the  Lord 
should  undertake  our  cause.  He  can  bring  low  and  raise 
up— He  sways  kingdoms  ;  and  it  is  through  his  long 
suffering  and  tender  mercy  that  the  world  is  kept  in 
existence;  for  it  groaneth  under  the  wickedness  of  its 
inhabitants !  If  He  were  to  enter  into  judgment  with 
us,  who  could  stand  before  him?  And  it  appears  he  is 
about  to  visit  the  earth  with  a  curse  !  It  is  surely  time 
for  those  that  profess  to  fear  God,  to  awake  and  shake 
themselves  from  that  indolence  of  spirit,  which  so  pre- 
vails in  our  land  ;  and  lay  a  siege  to  a  throne  of  grace  for 
deliverance :  for  he  is  all-sufficient,  and  can  make  a  way, 
where  it  appears  to  us,  short-sighted  creatures,  impossi- 
ble for  a  way  to  be  made.  May  he  undertake  our  cause, 
and  bring  deliverance  in  whatever  channel  he  thinks 
best. 

Sunday,  June  19th.  I  have  been  at  Capt.  John  Ander- 
son's, Hoboken,  for  several  weeks,  where  I  have  been 
treated  very  kindly.  Himself  and  wife  are  as  agreeable 
a  couple  as  I  have  met  with  for  a  long  time,  and  I  believe 


THE  WILDERNESS.  97 

they  wish  well  to  the  cause  of  religion ;  but  they  do  not 
enjoy  that  peace  in  their  own  souls  as  they  might.  May 
the  God  of  all  grace  attend  them,  and  enable  them  to 
take  up  the  cross,  that  they  may  be  prepared  for  a  Seat  at 
the  right  hand  of  God.  at  last. 

On  the  twenty-ninth  of  June,  we  left  New-York,  after 
having  been  there  for  the  space  of  near  three  months,  for 
New  Haven,  in  the  mail-stage.  We  travelled  through 
the  most  delightful  country  that  my  eyes  ever  beheld  ; 
the  season  was  so  charming !  the  gardens  were  in  bloom ; 
the  fields  and  meadows  clothed  in  their  richest  dress ;  so 
that  the  eye  might  be  transported  with  pleasure  at  almost 
every  glance.  My  heart  was  at  the  same  time  contem- 
plating the  goodness  of  God  to  the  once  happy  land  of 
America  ;  but  now,  how  soon  her  beauty  might  be  laid 
in  the  dust,  by  the  spoiler,  we  could  not  tell,  and  all  her 
glory  brought  to  naught  I  But  there  is  a  God,  that  rules 
over  all ;  and  I  trust  he  will  bring  order  out  of  confusion  ! 
May  the  people  learn  humility  and  submission  from  the 
present  calamity,  to  the  will  of  the  great  Ruler  of  the 
universe. 

We  arrived  at  New  Haven  about  nine  o'clock  at  night ; 
we  stopt  at  the  stage-tavern,  kept  by  a  man  that  fears  not 
God  nor  regards  man,  if  we  may  judge  by  the  appear- 
ance, but  we  could  not  get  permission  to  stay  there  for 
the  night.  It  being  so  late  we  could  not  find  any  friends, 
although  there  were  Methodists  in  the  place ;  conse- 
quently, we  were  under  the  necessity  of  seeking  lodgings 
in  an  other  public  house  :  accordingly,  we  did,  and  slept 
there.  But  in  the  morning,  Lorenzo  went  out  to  find  the 
preacher,  that  is  stationed  at  New  Haven,  and  in  his  way, 
he  met  with  a  brother  Wool/,  and  he  requested  him  to 
breakfast  with  him,  and  sent  up  to  the  public-house  for 
me  to  come  to  his  house ;  accordingly  I  did,  but  the  peo- 
ple where  we  stayed,  said  that  we  ought  to  have  eat 
breakfast  with  them,  as  we  stayed  there  the  night  before  j 
and  so  charged  us  one  dollar  and  a  half  for  our  lodging, 
which  Lorenzo  paid. 

The  friends  in  New-Haven  were  very  kind,  and  wished 
Lorenzo  to  stay  over  the  Sabbath ;  this  was  on  Thursday, 
he  was  anxious  to  get  to  his  father^s  j  but  by  the  solici- 
tation of  brother  Smithy  the  stationed  preacher,  and  many 


98  VICISSITUDES  IN 

others,  he  was  prevailed  on  to  stay.  He  preached  on 
Thursday  night  and  Friday  night ;  and  on  Sunday  he 
preached  four  times,  the  people  appeared  quite  solemn 
and  attentive.  The  preacher  in  that  place,  is  one  of  the 
most  affectionate,  friendly  men,  that  I  have  ever  met 
with ,  may  the  Lord  bless  him,  and  make  him  useful  to 
souls! 

On  Monday  morning  I  left  New  Haven,  in  company 
with  a  man  and  his  wife  for  Branford,  in  their  wagcn ; 
while  Lorenzo  stayed  to  give  them  another  sermon,  as  it 
was  the  "  Fourth  of  July,^^  and  there  was  an  oration  to 
be  delivered  by  the  great  Mr.  T****  ;  accordingly,  he 
spoke  something  on  the  present  state  of  our  country,  to 
an  audience  that  were  attentive.  He  then  left  there'in  a 
wagon,  which  belonged  to  a  (Quaker,  who  were  going  to 
see  their  friends  in  Branford,  where  he  spoke  again  at 
night. 

The  next  morning  the  Jriend  that  had  brought  us  to 
Branford,  started  with  us,  to  North  Guilford,  to  a  brother's 
of  mine,  that  I  had  not  seen  for  near  thirty  years.  We 
were  both  very  small  at  that  time,  but  now  he  had  a 
family  of  six  children  and  a  wife,  and  I  felt  much  pleased 
to  find  that  he  had  been  industrious,  and  appeared  to  be 
doing  well,  as  it  relates  to  this  world;  and  I  trust  he  was 
not  altogether  indifferent  to  the  things  of  another.  His 
wife  was  in  a  low  state  of  health,  but  I  have  no  doubt 
but  she  enjoys  religion :  may  the  God  of  all  grace  bless 
them  and  their  dear  children.  There  I  saw  my  step- 
mother also,  that  I  had  not  seen  before,  since  I  was  six 
years  of  age :  my  heart  glowed  with  affection  towards 
her;  may  her  last  days  be  crowned  with  peace  I 

My  brother  took  his  wagon,  and  carried  us  to  Durham, 
on  the  stage-road,  and  tarried  with  us  that  night ;  and  in 
the  morning  bid  us  farewell,  and  returned  home.  A  friend 
living  at  Durham,  lent  us  a  chaise  to  Middletown  ;  where 
ray  Lorenzo  held  meeting  at  night.  There  we  met  bro- 
ther Burrows  from  Hebron,  with  a  wagon,  which  was  to 
return  the  next  morning,  in  which  we  came  to  his  house, 
where *we  stayed  from  Friday  until  Monday.  Lorenzo 
preached  on  Friday  night,  and  also  on  Sunday  at  the 
Methodist  meeting-house;  the  j)eople  were  solemn  and 


THE  WILDERNESS.  99 

attentive.  At  five  o'clock,  at  another  place  four  or  five 
miles  distant,  and  returned  again  that  night.  . 

^  This  place  was  about  twelve  or  fourteen  miles  from 
his  dear  father'' s ;  and  as  we  had  no  horse  or  carriage 
and  brother  Burrows  made  wagons,  he  bought  a  horse 
and  wagon  from  him  ;  and  we  started  on  Monday  about 
three  o'clock  in  the  afternoon,  and  arrived  at  his  father's 
just  before  dark.  We  were  kindly  received  by  his  father 
and  the  rest  of  the  family ;  we  found  the  old  gentleman 
in  tolerable  health  ;  but  being  a  man  advanced  in  years, 
he  was  something  feeble  :  we  stayed  with  him  from  Mon- 
day until  Saturday.  This  place  is  much  degenerated 
from  what  they  once  were,  when  the  candle  of  the  Lord 
shone  upon  their  heads ;  but  now  there  is  scarcely  any 
that  I  saw,  who  appeared  to  enjoy  religion  !  Our  dear 
old  father,  seemed  to  be  struggling  for  deliverance  in  the 
blood  of  Jesus  ;  may  the  great  Master  appear  to  his  soul, 
the  first  among  ten  thousand,  and  altogether  lovely  ! 

We  spent  the  week  I  may  say  in  a  solitary  way,  in 
taking  our  rambles  through  the  lonely  walks  that  my 
Lorenzo  had  taken  in  early  days  of  childhood,  before  his 
tender  mind  was  malured;  and  after  he  had  arrived  to 
the  age  of  fifteen,  when  his  heart  was  wrought  upon  by 
the  Spirit  of  God — and  this  was  the  sweet  grove  at  the 
foot  of  a  beautiful  hill,  through  which  ran  a  charmin* 
rivulet  of  water ;  where  he  used  to  go  to  meditate  and 

Eray  to  that  God,  who  was  able  to  save  and  did  deliver 
is  soul,  and  enabled  him  to  take  up  his  cross,  and  go 
forth  to  call  sinners  to  repentance. 

My  heart  was  pained  to  know  asd  see  that  some  part 
of  the  family,  was  not,  or  appeared  not  engaged  to  save 
their  souls. 

On  Saturday,  we  started  for  Tolland,  and  from  thence 
to  Squarepond,  where  Lorenzo  preached  twice  the  next 
day,  at  the  Methodist  meeting-house,  to  an  attentive  con- 
grerration ;  and  at  five  o'clock  at  Tolland,  the  people 
seemed  very  solemn.  Early  on  Monday  morning  we 
left  Tolland,  for  Hartford,  where  Lorenzo  preached  at 
night,  in  a  Presbyterian  meeting-house,  to  a  tolerable 
congregation.  We  met  with  kind  treatment  from  a  Doc- 
tor Lynds — may  the  Lord  bless  him  and  his!  We  left 
Hartford  on  Tuesday,  and  went  to  an  aunt's  of  Lorenzo's 


100  VICISSITUDES  IN 

that  night,  living  about  four  or  five  miles  from  his  father's. 
She  appeared  very  glad  to  see  us  ;  and  sent  out  and  called 
in  the  neighbours,  and  Lorenzo  gave  them  a  short  dis- 
course. The  next  day  Lorenzo  was  quite  unwell,  unable 
to  sit  up :  but  towards  evening  we  made  ready,  and  start- 
ed for  his  father's,  where  we  arrived  in  safety.  Lorenzo 
had  intend^  to  leave  me  at  his  father's,  while  he  took  a 
journey^  to  the  east ;  but  circumstances  appeared  not  to 
favour  it ;  and  he  concluded  to  take  me  with  him.  Ac- 
cordingly, we  made  preparations  for  our  departure,  on 
Saturday  morning,  July  23d,  1814,  after  having  stayed 
with  his  father  for  ten  or  twelve  days. 

I  felt  truly  pained  to  part  with  the  dear  old  man  :  may 
the  Lord  bless  him,  and  make  his  last  days  abundant  in 
peace !  My  Lorenzo  preached  at  Vernon  at  night,  and 
in  the  morning,  to  an  attentive  little  company — may  the 
Lord  make  it  like  bread  cast  upon  the  waters !  He 
preached  at  Hartford-five-miles,  on  Sunday,  to  a  crowded 
congregation. 

July  25th.  We  have  this  day  arrived  at  Hartford ;  and 
my  Lorenzo  has  received  his  books  from  New  York,  and 
furthermore  we  have  heard  of  the  arrival  of  a  large  force 
of  our  enemies'  soldiers,  landing  on  our  once  peaceful 
happy  shore  I  O  that  the  God  that  is  able  to  save,  would 
appear  for  our  deliverance!  although,  as  a  nation,  we 
have  forfeited  all  right  and  title  to  protection:  yet  there 
is  no  where  else  to  fly  for  deliverance  I  O  that  we,  as  a 
nation,  may  be  humbled  before  God,  and  lift  our  united 
cries  to  the  throne  of  grace  for  his  assistance  !  May  the 
tumults  of  the  earth  be  hushed  to  silence,  and  people 
learn  war  no  more  !  My  soul  longs  to  drink  deeper  into 
that  spirit  of  love,  to  God  and  man,  that  I  may  be  made 
useful  to  souls,  and  a  comfort  to  my  wandering  com- 
panion, that  I  may  be  a  helpmate  indeed  ! 

"  How  vain  are  all  things  here  below, 
"  How  false,  and  yet  how  fair ! 
"  Each  pleasure  has  its  poison  too, 
■ '  And  every  sweet  a  snare !" 

O  that  the  Lord   would  teach  me  the   emptiness  of 


THE  WILDERNESS,  101 

earthly  enjoyments,  and  help  me  to  rely  on  him  alone 
for  support  and  comfort !  O  that  my  prospects  for  glory 
may  brighten  up,  and  my  soul  be  struggling  for  full  deli- 
verance from  every  desire  that  is  not  centered  in  Hira 
that  is  able  to  give  all  things  I 

I  have  been  reading  the  exercise  of  a  precious  woman, 
who  went  with  her  husband  to  the  East  Indies,  to  help 
him  to  preach  the  gospel  to  the  poor  ignorant  Hindoos. 
O  that  the  desire  which  filled  her  soul,  to  spread  the  good 
news  of  glad-tidings  of  the  Saviour,  may  prevail  more 
and  more  ! 

We  rode  three  miles  from  Hartford,  the  same  day  that 
we  went  there  ;  and  Lorenzo  preached  at  night,  at  East 
Hartford,  to,  perhaps,  one  hundred  and  fifty  or  two  hun- 
dred, (and  they  were  quite  attentive.)  from  these  words— 
"  Behold  I  stand  at  the  door  and  knock,  if  any  man  hear 
my  voice  and  open  the  door,  I  will  come  in  to  him,  and 
sup  with  him.  and  he  with  me."  My  mind  was  quite 
depressed,  altnough  I  was  enabled  to  close  the  meeting 
by  prayer.  I  feel  a  gloom  hanging  over  my  mind,  on  the 
account  of  the  present  state  of  my  country.  O !  will  the 
great  God  deliver  our  happy  land  into  the  hand  of  the 
spoiler?  O  that  God  would  hear  and  answer  prayer; 
inspire,  and  then  accept  the  prayer  of  us  poor  mortals! — 
My  soul  longs  to  be  prepared  for  whatever  awaits  us  on 
the  shores  of  time !  If  we  live  as  we  ought,  we  may 
rely  on  the  providence  of  God,  to  protect  us  from  every 
evil.  My  Lorenzo  is  very  unwell.  O  that  the  Lord  may 
give  bim  grace  and  strength  to  do  his  dutv,  and  call  sin- 
ners to  repentance  !  May  the  Lord  bless  nis  labours,  and 
make  him  useful  to  souls  I 

I  long  to  get  more  confidence,  to  take  up  my  cross,  and 
help  him  to  spread  the  good  news  of  glad  tidings  to  all 
people — may  God  help  me  ! 

My  desire  is.  that  I  may  lie  at  the  feet  of  Jesus,  and  be 
willing  to  love  the  cross,  that  I  may  wear  the  crown  in 
those  happy  mansions  above  the  skies  I  My  heart,  I  find, 
is  too  often  wandering  from  my  God  !  O  that  I  may 
arise  and  shake  myself,  and  in  the  strength  of  Jesus, 
overcome  my  enemies,  both  of  a  spiritual  and  a  temporal 
nature  I    I  long  to  be  altogether  devoted  to  ray  God  I 


102  VICISSITUDES  IN 

Lorenzo  expects  to  preach  this  evening— may  the  Lord 
attend,  by  the  unction  of  his  holy  Spirit. 

Lorenzo  preached  the  last  night;  but  1  was  so  unwell 
that  I  could  not  attend:  and  he  is  to  preach  twice  to 
day — may  the  Lord  stand  by  him,  and  make  his  words 
sharp  and  piercing,  reaching  the  hearts  of  those  that  hear! 

My  soul  longs  to  be  more  alive  to  God,  that  I  may  be 
made  more  useful  to  my  fellow-creatures,  and  help  my 
companion  to  spread  the  glorious  gospel  through  this 
weary  land :  we  are  wanderers  on  earth — we  have  no 
abiding  home  in  this  world,  but  are  seeking  one  above — 
may  the  God  of  all  grace  enable  us  to  keep  the  prize  in 
view,  and  deliver  us  from  all  our  enemies. 

My  Lorenzo  hath  spoke  once  to-day,  and  is  to  speak 
again  this  evening — may  the  Lord  attend  the  word  with 
power.  Why  should  we  desire  to  live  in  this  world  to 
be  useless  ?  For  what  would  be  the  benefit  if  we  were 
to  live  to  the  age  of  Methuselah,  and  neglect  the  one 
thing  needful  ?  It  would  only  add  to  our  condemnation  ! 
O  that  these  things  may  be  impressed  on  my  heart ! 

July  28th.  Bless  the  Lord,  O  my  soul,  and  forget  not 
all  his  benefits !  What  reason  I  have  to  be  thankful  to 
my  great  Benefactor  for  mercies  to  me,  a  poor  wanderer 
upon  the  earth  :  that  I  am  provided  with  kind  friends  in 
this  world  of  woe  !  May  my  heart  glow  Avith  gratitude 
to  my  God  and  my  fellow-mortals  for  the  blessings  that  I 
do  enjoy !  May  the  great  Master  reward  those  that  are 
willing  to  administer  to  the  necessities  of  those  that  have 
taken  iheir  lives  in  their  hands,  and  have  gone  forth  to 
sound  the  alarm,  and  call  sinners  to  repentance-^to  offer 
them  free  salvation  in  the  blood  of  Jesus !  My  soul  longs 
to  see  Zion  prosper;  to  hear  poor  sinners  inquiring  the 
way  to  peace  and  true  happiness.  O  may  the  Lord 
inspire  my  heart  with  that  living  faith^  to  cry  mightily 
to  him  who  is  able  to  save  souls.  O,  if  Christians  were 
more  engaged  to  obtain  the  heighth  and  depth,  and  length 
and  breadth  of  the  love  of  God,  which  is  m  Christ  Jesus 
our  Lord,  what  happy  times  it  would  be !  O  my  soul, 
awake  I — lift  up  a  cry  to  the  God  and  Father  of  our  Lord 
Jesus  Christ,  for  full  redemption  in  the  blood  of  Jesus  I 

Lorenzo  preached  three  times  at  E^ast  Windsor;  but 
the  people  are  like  the  nether  mill  stone,  hard  and  unfeeU 


THE  WILDERNESS.  103 

ing :  may  the  Lord  soften  their  hard  hearts,  and  bring 
them  to  a  sense  of  their  danger !  We  were  at  a  Itind 
family  by  the  name  of  Stoten.  May  the  Lord  prosper 
them  in  the  way  to  glory.  My  heart  hath  felt  somewhat 
refreshed  since  I  came  to  the  house  of  frien'i  Barker's, 
living  in  West  Windsor.  Lorenzo  hath  been  acquainted 
with  the  famity  sixteen  years  ago — it  does  my  heart  good 
to  meet  those  that  have  their  faces  Zionward ! 

What  a  sweet  meeting  it  will  be  when  all  the  tempted 
followers  of  Jesus  get  home: 

"  There  on  a  green  and  flowery  mount 

Our  weary  souls  shall  sit ; 
And  with  transporting  joys  recount 

The  labours  of  our  feet !" 

What  a  prize  !  Is  it  not  worth  the  striving  for  ?  O  may 
I  be  more  zealous  in  the  way  of  my  duty — more  willing 
to  take  up  the  cross. 

The  news  of  war  is  saluting  our  ears  daily.  O  that 
God  may  prepare  us  for  whatever  awaits  us — and  if  a 
scourge  is  necessary,  may  it  bring  us,  as  a  nation,  to  the 
feet  of  Jesus!  My  heart  is  pained  within  me  !  O  Lord, 
prepare  me  to  submit  to  thy  will,  with  the  rest  of  the  poor 
fallen  race  of  Adam  !  We  have  all  sinned,  and  come 
short  of  the  glory  of  God,  and  deserve  chastisement :  O 
that  we  may  fall  into  the  hand  of  God  rather  than  the 
hand  of  man — for  he  is  merciful  I  I  feel  a  desire  to  sub- 
mit without  murmuring,  but  our  hearts  are  so  refractory, 
we  need  the  influence  of  grace,  to  make  us  what  we  ought 
to  be — My  Lord  help  America ! 

July  29th.  Lorenzo  preached  last  evening  to  #i  toler- 
able company,  considering  it  was  a  very  unpleasant 
night;  and  they  gave  very  good  attention — may  the  Lord 
make  it  like  seed  sown  on  good  around,  that  shsul  bring 
forth  fruit  in  due  time !  There  ^ems  to  be  a  number  in 
this  place  that  are  heaven-born  and  heaven-bound — may 
the  Lord  make  them  burning  and  shining  lights  in  the 
land  wherein  they  live,  that  may  be  like  unto  the  leaven 
that  was  hid  in  three  measures  of  meal,  leavening  the 
whole  lump ;  so  that  the  flame  may  continue  to  increase 


r04  VICISSITUDES  IN 

until  the  town  shall  be  filled  with  the  glory  of  God  !  My 
soul  longs  to  see  Zion  prosper !  O  God,  fill  my  heart 
with  love  to  Thee  and  my  fellow  sinners ;  my  heart  is 
pained  to  see  so  little  good  done  as  there  is — may  God 
revive  his  work  once  more  in  the  land. 

•'  Through  grace  I  am  determin'd 

To  conquer  though  I  die, 
And  then  away  to  Jesus, 

On  wings  of  love  I'll  fly!" 

1  am  a  stranger  and  pilgrim  on  earth,  together  with  my 
dear  companion ;  but  we  have  the  promise  of  a  substan 
tial  inheritance,  if  we  are  faithful,  and  continue  to  the 
end ! 

"  TheTiord  my  pasture  shall  prepare, 
And  feed  me  with  a  shepherd's  care ; 
My  noon-day  walks  he  shall  attend, 
And  all  my  midnight  hours  defend." 

O  Lord,  help  me  to  rely  upon  thy  promises,  by  faith ! 

July  '61st,  1814.  What  cause  have  I  to  adore  that 
beneficent  Hand,  that  hath  and  doth  still  provide  for  such 
a  poor  unprofitable  creature  as  me  ! — may  my  heart  be 
filled  with  grateful  songs  of  praise  to  the  great  Master. 

We  left  Hartford  on  the  morning  of  the  30th,  without 
knowing  whither  we  went,  or  when  we  should  find  a 
resting  place  for  the  night — but  God  provided  for  us, 
beyond  what  we  could  have  expected:  we  met  with  an 
old  man.  and  after  speaking  to  him,  we  found  him  to  be 
one  of  those  who  are  striving  to  walk  the  narrow  happy 
road — and  he  told  us  of  a  family  who  he  thought  would 
be  glad  to  see  Lorenzo :  accordingly,  we  went  there,  and 
found  it  even  so — this  m  called  Barkhamstead.  They 
received  us  with  affection,  and  every  attention  possible — 
their  names  were  Francis.  Lorenzo  held  two  meetings 
at  a  barn,  within  about  a  mile  from  this  friend's ;  the 
people  were  solemn  and  attentive.  There  I  met  two  of 
my  uncle's  daughters  very  unexpectedly — they  lived  in 
this  neighbourhood :  tkey  appeared  glad  to  see  me,  this 


THE  WILDERNESS.  105 

being  the  first  time  I  had  ever  seen  them  since  I  could 
recollect.  I  have  had  £s  little  acquaintance  with  any  of 
my  relations  as  most.  This  circumstance  excited  a  sen- 
sation in  my  heart,  that  I  was  almost  a  stranger  to  before ; 
I  felt  such  a  drawing  towards  them  !  O  that  the  Lord 
would  give  them  to  feel  the  necessity  of  living  up  to  the 
requirements  of  the  gospel,  that  we  may  meet  at  last  on 
the  happy  banks  of  everlasting  deliverance !  In  the  eve- 
ning we  went  about  five  miles  further,  where  Lorenzo 
preached  again.  This  was  the  third  time  he  had  preach- 
ed this  day — may  the  Lord  strengthen  his  body  and  soul^ 
to  cry  aloud,  and  spare  not,  to  sinners  to  repent. 

Monday  morning,  August  1st.  Lorenzo  preaches  again 
this  morning  at  5  o'clock.  O  that  the  Lord  would  make 
him  more  and  more  useful  to  his  fellow-mortals.  I  feel 
this  morning  a  desire  to  be  more  engaged  with  my  God  I 
O  that  my  heart  might  be  filled  with  all  the  fulness  q€ 
the  Spirit,  that  I  may  be  more  willing  to  take  up  my 
cross  and  help  my  companion  to  do  good !  Time  is 
short — we  are  hastening  to  Eternity  !  O  that  our  days 
may  be  spent  in  the  service  of  God,  helping  souls  on  to 
the  peaceful  mansions  of  rest.  We  left  brother  Coe's 
this  morning,  and  went  on  about  seven  or  eight  miles  ; 
and  our  horse  was  taken  sick ;  we  stopped  at  a  public 
house,  and  the  people  seemed  willing  to  help  us  to  admin- 
ister some  relief.  .  I  felt  my  mind  quite  composed,  know- 
ing that  he  who  dealeth  out  to  us,  knoweth  what  is  best, 
and  what  good  may  result  from  it  we  cannot  tell  I 

The  family  was  desirous  Lorenzo  should  hold  a  meet- 
ing here  this  evening,  and  he*  hath  consented.  May  the 
Lord  stand  by  him,  and  enable  him  to  declare  the  whole 
counsel  of  God,  to  those  that  may  come  out  to  hear ! 
May  my  heart  feel  more  engaged  for  the  salvation  of 
souls  ! 

August  3d.  What  cause  of  gratitude  I  have  to  the 
God  of  all  mercies,  that  it  is  as  well  with  me  this  mor- 
ning as  it  is  ! — may  my  heart  be  filled  with  grateful  songs 
of  praise  for  his  preservation  !  We  started  from  the 
public  house,  where  our  horse  was  sick,  on  Tuesday 
morning  the  2nd  day  of  August,  Lorenzo  having  preach- 
ed the  evening  before  to  a  small  congregation — but  quite 
attentive.     I  think  there  were  really  pious,  humble  souls  I 


106  VICISSITUDES  IN 

but  I  left  there  condemned  in  my  own  mind,  for  not 
taking  up  my  cross — may  the  Lord  forgive  me,  and  enable 
me  to  be  more  obedient  in  future ! 

We  intended  to  reach  Lenox  that  night,  which  was 
about  30  miles  :  our  horse  appearing  quite  well.  It  was 
not  far  from  sunrise  :  the  day  appeared  very  gloomy — 
we  travelled  on  until  about  6  o'clock,  then  we  stopped  at 
a  tavern  and  got  some  refreshment;  they  made  a  toler- 
able heavy  charge — we  paid  it — and  Lorenzo  gave  them 
two  books ;  he  requested  the  man  to  let  one  of  them  cir- 
culate through  the  neighbourhood,  hoping  it  might  prove 
a  blessing  to  some  ! — God  grant  it  lor  his  mercy's  sake  ! 
We  continued  on  our  way  through  a  wood,  four  or  five 
miles ;  lying  nearly  on  the  Farmington  river,  over  a 
mountain  of  considerable  height ;  the  road  was  very 
good,  and  the  prospect  delightful  to  me;  the  river  break- 
ing through  the  rocks  appeared  to  me  very  majestic, 
while  the  banks  were  clothed  with  delightful  green.  My 
heart  was  charmed  with  the  scene.  After  we  got  over 
the  mountain,  the  country  seemed  more  thinly  inhabited 
than  any  part  of  Connecticut  that  I  have  been  in — May 
the  Lord  bless  the  people.  We  travelled  on  until  between 
one  and  two  o'clock — then  we  stopped  and  gave  our  horse 
some  food.  By  this  time  the  clouds  began  to  grow  some- 
what mor.e  gloomj^ — but  we  did  not  think  the  storm  was 
so  near : — we  started — but  had  not  got  more  than  a  mile 
and  a  half,  before  the  clouds  began  to  discharge  their 
contents  at  such  a  dreadful  rate,  that  we  were  almost 
blinded  with  the  rain — and  no  house  near  that  we  could 
retreat  to !  At  last  we  came  to  a  place  where  there  was 
a  house  over  in  the  lot,  and  also  a  barn ;  we  drove  up  to 
the  bars,  and  I  got  out  and  ran  to  the  barn ;  but  there 
seemed  to  be  no  asylum  from  the  impetuous  rain:  from 
thence  I  ran  to  the  house,  but  no  one  lived  there,  so  I  was 
compelled  to  return  to  the  barn — where,  by  the  time 
Lorenzo  had  got,  with  his  horse  and  wagon,  and  drove 
them  into  the  barn  upon  the  floor,  I  was  wet  through  and 
through.  I  crept  upon  the  mow,  and  he  reached  me  my 
trunk — there  I  changed  my  clothes — but  he  was  not  so 
well  off,  for  he  was  under  the  necessity  of  keeping  his 
on.  We  stayed  there  until  the  storm  was  over — then  we 
made  the  best  of  our  way  to  Lenox,  where  we  arrived  a 


THE  WILDERi\ESS.  107 

little  before  sunset — we  got  into  a  friend's  house,  where 
vre  were  treated  very  kind.  Lorenzo  appeared  to  have 
taken  some  cold— but  we  have  reason  to  be  thankful  that 
it  is  no  wotse.  We  have  a  trying  world  to  pass  through  : 
O  that  the  Lord  may  enable  us  to  keep  the  prize  in  view  j 
that  our  conflicts  may  prove  blessings  to  our  souls,  and 
we  at  last  come  off  more  than  conquerors  through  him 
that  has  loved  us  and  given  himself  for  us  !  Lorenzo 
hath  had  the  privilege  of  preaching  in  the  Court-house 
twice,  and  perhajps  he  may  hold  meeting  there  again  this 
evening — may  the  Lord  that  can  answer  by  fire,  attend 
the  word  with  power  to  the  hearts  of  those  that  hear  I 
O  my  soul,  look  up  to  him  that  is  able  to  save,  for  all  the 
strength  that  is  necessary  to  enable  me  to  bare  with 
patience,  whatever  may  be  the  will  of  my  heavenly 
Father  to  inflict. 

My  soul  longs  to  enjoy  more  of  the  perfect  love  of  God, 
that  I  may  in  all  things  say,  "  not  my  will,  but  thine  be 
done !" 

August  4th.  TKtough  the  goodness  of  the  Friend  of 
sinners,  I  am  still  alive,  and  better  in  health  than  I  could 
expect,  considering  my  exposure  for  a  few  days  past. 
May  my  heart  be  grateful  to  him  that  supplies  all  my 
wants.  We  left  Lenox  this  morning,  and  have  come  to 
Pittsfield,  that  is  a  delightful  country,  but  the  same  gloom 
appears  to  hang  over  the  country  as  it  relates  to  religion  ! 
O  that  the  cloud  would  break,  and  the  work  of  God  revive 
once  more  ! — may  my  heart  glow  with  love  to  God  and 
my  fellow  s  nnei>.:  I  want  to  be  a  true  follower  of  the 
meek  and  lowly  Jesus  ;  be  prepared  for  life  or  death,  a 
living  witness  of  his  goodness,  and  when  I  am  called  to 
bid  adieu  to  this  world  of  woe,  that  I  may  leave  it  in 
peace ! 

August  5th.  How  much  I  am  indebted  to  the  rich 
mercy  of  a  kind  Providence,  for  the  many  blessings 
whijn  1  do  enjoy — the  favour  of  kiud  friends,  while  a 
wanderer  on  earth.  We  leli  Lenox  the  morning  of  the 
4th,  and  went  to  the  north  part  of  Pittsfieid,  to  oid  friend 
Wards,  where  we  were  received  with  seeming  friend- 
ship; but  my  Lorenzo  could  not  get  the  people  noiiiied 
as  he  had  expected  he  might  have  done,  when  he  thought 
of  going  tnere  at  nignt,  bui  concluded  to  start  from  there 
8* 


108  VICISSITUDES  IN 

early  the  next  morning ;  but  several  people  coming  in 
that  evening,  appeared  so  anxious  that  he  should  preach 
before  he  left  the  place,  that  he  concluded  to  stay,  if  they 
would  give  notice,  which  they  promised  to  do,  at  half 
past  10  o'clock  the  following  day,  and  at  evening  in  the 
centre  of  the  town — it  being  a  day  set  apart  for  a  fast  by 
the  Methodists.  Accordingly  we  repaired  at  the  appoint- 
ed hour  to  the  meeting  house,  where  a  considerable  num- 
ber of  people  were  collected,  and  Lorenzo  spoke  to  them 
on  the  duty  o^  fasting  from  these  words,  "  In  those  days 
shall  they  fast,"  with  a  good  degree  of  liberty  :  the  people 
were  very  solemn  and  attentive — may  God  make  it  a 
blessing  to  some  souls.  From  thence  we  came  to  the 
centre  of  the  town,  to  a  brother  Green's,  where  we  were 
received  with  great  kindness.  O  that  the  great  Master 
raay  reward  those  who  are  willing  to  receive  his  wander- 
ing Pilgrims  and  make  them  comfortable  with  every 
needed  blessing  for  time  and  eternity.  O  that  I  could 
always  keep  the  place  of  Mary  at  the  feet  of  Jesus ! 
Lord  give  me  more  of  the  loving  spirit  which  she  pos- 
sessed— that  my  soul  may  enjoy  the  blessings  that  are 
laid  up  for  those  that  are  faithful.  My  Lorenzo  is  much 
afflicted  of  late  with  his  old  complaint — may  God  give 
him  and  me  grace  to  say  the  will  of  the  Lord  be  done. 

August  6th.  My  mind  is  quite  depressed  this  day — 
the  fluctuating  scenes  of  life  have  too  much  impression 
on  my  heart.  O  that  my  Lord  would  give  me  grace  to 
bear  them  with  patience  !  We  are  still  in  Pittsfield  ; — 
the  people  are  kind,  but  they  have  their  peculiarities,  so 
inquisitive  to  know  the  concerns  of  others!  ! — may  the 
Lord  help  us  to  look  more  carefully  into  our  own  hearts ; 
and  see  that  we  are  right  before  God !  I  need  more  of 
the  spirit  of  submission  to  the  will  of  my  Master. 

August  7th.  My  poor  companion  hath  been  very 
much  afflicted  yesterday  and  the  last  night,  with  the 
tooth-ache,  in  so  great  a  degree,  that  he  could  noi  attend 
the  appointment  the  last  evening,  which  gave  me  some 
pain,  as  I  knew  it  would  be  a  disapointment  to  many.  I 
thought  if  I  could  have  gone  and  spoken  to  the  people,  if 
I  could  have  spoke  any  thing  to  the  edification  of  souls, 
it  would,  I  thought,  have  been  a  great  comfort  to  my 
mind.    My  health  is  but  poor ;  may  God  strengthen  my 


THE  WILDERNESS.  1C9 

body  :  and  above  all,  may  my  heart  be  so  filled  with  love 
to  my  fellow  sinners,  that  I  may  call  upon  them  to  close 
in  with  the  overtures  of  mercy  !  I  felt  such  a  desire  that 
Souls  might  be  benefitted,  that  I  could  not  sleep.  O  that 
I  may  be  willing  to  take  up  my  cross,  and  if  the  Lord 
has  any  thing  for  such  an  unworthy  creature  as  me  to 
do,  may  I  not  be  so  loath  to  accede  to  it.  I  feel  many 
times  much  distressed  on  account  of  my  backwardness. 
O  that  I  maybe  a  cross-bearer  indeed.  Lorenzo  hath 
gone  to  speak  to  those  who  will  assemble  to  hear  the 
word,  in  much  weakness  of  body  :  may  that  God  who  is 
able  to  bring  strength  out  of  weakness,  stand  by  him,  and 
enable  him  to  declare  the  whole  counsel  of  God.  He 
labours  under  many  weaknesses,  but  this  I  trust  is  his 
consolation,  that  when  his  work  is  done,  he  will  receive 
double  for  all  his  pain  !  O  that  I  may  willingly  take  my 
share  with  him  in  this  vale  of  woe,  that  I  may  share 
with  him  in  the  reward  !  May  the  Lord  bless  his  labours 
this  day.  We  returned  to  Pittsfield  town  in  the  after- 
noon, and  he  preached  at  5  o'clock  to  a  crowded  congre- 
gation. They  were  really  attentive — may  the  Lord  seal 
conviction  on  their  hearts.  This  was  the  third  time  he 
had  spoke  that  day  :  he  returned  to  brother  Green's  where 
we  lodged,  and  seemed  much  better  than  he  was  in  the 
morning,  in  the  evening  there  was  a  number  who  came 
in,  and  he  spoke  to  them  again,  and  it  was  quite  a  solemn 
time;  my  heart  was  much  drawn  out  in  prayer  that  the 
Lord  would  bless  them. 

We  expected  to  have  left  the  place  on  Monday  mor- 
ning, but  the  weather  proved  so  unfavourable  that  it  was 
impracticable :  consequently  we  stayed  until  Tuesday  ; 
then  we  left  brother  Green's  and  came  on  to  Bennington 
that  night,  to  a  public  house  ;  where  Lorenzo  got  permis- 
sion to  hold  meeting  in  a  large  ball  room  ;  he  hired  two 
little  boys  to  go  down  into  the  middle  of  the  town  to 
give  notice,  and  others  told  some,  so  that  there  were  per- 
haps more  than  one  hundred  that  attended ;  they  gave  very 
good  attention — God  grant  they  may  profit  by  it.  On 
Tuesday,  the  9th  of  August  we  left  Bennington,  and 
came  to  Cambridge  white  meeting  house ;  where  we 
took  breakfast.  This  brought  to  my  recollection  former 
times,  when  I  was  a  child  j  the  rambles  that  I  have  taken 


lio  vicissitUDEs  m 

among  my  companions  through  this  delightful  spot!  now 
those  that  were  my  companions,  are  married,  and  have 
large  families ;  many  have  gone  to  the  "  SILENT 
TOMB,"  whither  we  are  all  hastening.  May  the  Lord 
prepare  us  for  that  important  day.  We  then  started  for 
ray  sister's,  living  near  the  Batonkiln  river;  where  we 
arrived  a  little  before  night.  My  sister  was  much  rejoiced 
to  see  us,  and  I  was  not  less  happy  to  meet  with  a  sister 
whom  I  had  not  seen  but  once  in  more  than  twenty 
years.  I  found  her  enjoying  a  good  degree  of  peace  and 
plenty  :  a  kind  husband  and  a  sufficiency  of  this  world's 
goods;  and  I  trust  her  face  is  Zionwarc^!  may  God  help 
us  to  keep  on  our  journey  until  we  meet  to  part  no  more  ! 

Sunday,  August  14th.  Bless  the  Lord  my  soul  for  the 
present  mercies  that  I  do  enjoy :  I  have  been  privileged 
once  more  of  meeting  with  a  kind  sister;  my  heart  warms 
with  affection  towards  her.  She  appears  to  be  striving  to 
make  her  way  to  mount  Zion.  May  the  Friend  of  sin- 
ners be  her  guide  and  support  through  this  vale  of  tears, 
and  may  we  meet  on  the  peaceful  banks  of  biest  eternity 
at  last,  with  those  of  our  friends  that  have  arrived  there 
before  us.  She  is  blessed  with  an  affectionate  friend  and 
companion ;  may  the  Lord  make  them  happy  in  time  and 
in  eternity. 

Lorenzo  is  very  much  afflicted  with  the  old  complaint, 
that  has  followed  him  almost  all  his  life.  This  northern 
clime  disagrees  greatly  with  his  health,  and  I  know  not 
what  vyill  be  the  consequence,  if  he  stays  long  in  this 
part  of  the  world.  My  sister  wishes  me  to  stay  with  her 
for  some  time,  but  I  cannot  feel  reconciled  to  let  my  com- 
panion go  and  leave  me  behind;  and  on  the  whole,  I 
think  I  had  rather  go  and  take  my  chance  with  him,  until 
it  is  the  will  of  our  God  to  part  us  by  his  Providence. — 
May  the  Lord  help  us  to  feel  resigned  to  his  will  in  all 
things,  enable  us  to  keep  the  prize  in  view,  and  be  faith- 
ful to  our  good  God  while  on  earth  we  stay,  and  be  pre- 
pared to  shout  hallelujahs  above,  among  the  blood- washed 
throng,  in  the  paradise  of  God  ! 

Monday,  15th.  My  Lorenzo  preached  twice  yesterday 
in  this  place,  and  some  were  offended  at  his  doctrine; 
this  siiows  how  prejudiced  people  are  in  favour  of  their 


THE  WILDERNESS.  Ill 

own  notions :  may  the  Lord  help  people  to  discern  be- 
tween truth  and  error — my  heart's  desire  is  to  keep  the 
narrow  road  that  leads  to  joys  on  high :  may  the  way 
appear  more  plain  to  my  understanding,  and  my  heart 
feel  more  love  to  God  and  man ;  we  know  not  what  is  in 
store  for  us,  nor  how  many  conflicts  we  may  have  to  pass 
through  ;  may  our  days  be  spent  in  the  service  of  the 
great  Master,  so  that  whether  we  have  pleasure  or  pain, 
we  may  be  enabled  to  say,  the  will  of  the  Lord  be  done ! 
the  way  of  danger  we  are  in,  and  we  need  the  influence 
of  his  grace  to  speed  us  on  our  way.  The  cloud  seems 
to  darken,  and  what  may  be  the  troubles  that  America 
may  have  to  encounter  we  do  not  know  :  may  that  God 
who  is  able  to  deliver  nations  as  well  as  individuals, 
undertake  our  cause,  and  make  it  a  blessing  to  the  inhabi- 
tants of  this  our  once  happy  land ;  my  soul  longs  for  the 
Erospcrity  of  my  country,  and  that  precious  souls  may  be 
rought  to  the  knowledge  of  the  truth,  as  it  is  in  Christ 
Jesus  the  Lord  !  O  that  my  heart  may  feel  a  greater 
inward  struggle  for  the  welfare  of  my  dear  fellow  mor- 
tals :  and  keep  the  crown  in  view  myself ! 

Tuesday,  August  16th.  I  am  still  the  spared  monu- 
ment of  mercy ;  O  that  my  soul  may  glow  with  love 
with  gratitude  to  my  great  Benefactor,  for  all  his  favours 
to  unworthy  me.  But  my  cold  heart  is  too  little  warmed 
by  all  these  blessings  !  O  God,  give  me  more  of  that 
inward  purity  of  heart,  that  my  life  may  be  like  an 
even  spun  thread ! — my  heart  and  soul  engaged  in  the 
work,  to  help  my  Lorenzo  to  cry  aloud  to  poor  sinners  tQ 
turn  to  God,  and  seek  the  salvation  of  their  poor  souls  I 

"  Come  Lord  from  above, 
These  mountains  remove ; 
O'erturn  all  that  hinders  the  course  of  thy  love." 

Wednesday  morning,  August  17th.  We  have  been 
one  week  at  my  brother-in-law's,  and  they  very  kind  ;  we 
have  taken  much  satisfaction  with  my  sister  and  her  hus- 
band ;  may  their  hearts  be  placed  on  those  riches  that 
are  durable  and  will  never  fade  I    I  feel  my  heart  too 


112  VICISSITUDES  IN 

little  alive  to  my  God.     O  that  I  had  more  of  the  power 
of  living  faith ! 

"  The  praying  spirit  breathe, 

The  watching  pow'r  impart  r 
From  all  entanglement  beneath, 

Call  off  my  peaceful  heart !" 

August  19th.  We  left  my  dear  sister's  yesterday,  with 
hearts  much  affected,  not  knowing  whether  we  should 
meet  again  on  mortal  shores,  but  hoping  if  we  meet  no 
more  below,  we  may  have  a  happy  meeting  in  that  bright 
world  above,  where  separation  will  be  dreaded  no  more ! 

We  travelled  about  twenty -three  miles,  and  met  with 
a  kind  family,  where  we  put  up  for  the  night.  In  the 
morning,  by  the  time  the  day  broke,  we  started  for  the 
Saratoga  Springs,  where  we  were  aiming,  and  arrived 
there  by  six  o'clock.  There  Lorenzo  met  a  lady  from 
South  Carolina,  who  had  treated  him  with  every  attention 
when  at  the  White  Sulphur  Springs  in  Virginia,  and  also 
at  her  own  house  at  Charleston.  She  still  appeard  much 
pleased  to  meet  with  him  here:  she  invited  him  to  call 
upon  them  at  their  lodgings,  at  the  Columbian  Hotel. 
Accordingly  we  did,  and  were  treated  with  great  polite 
iiess.  Lorenzo  received  an  invitation  to  preach  in  the 
afternoon  at  four  o'clock,  which  he  accepted.  O  may  the 
word  come  from  the  heart,  and  reach  the  hearts  of  those 
ihat  hear ;  may  his  labours  be  blessed  to  the  people  in 
this  place !— my  soul  longs  to  see  the  work  revive,  and 
souls  brought  to  the  knowlege  of  the  truth.  We  are  now 
at  the  springs,  but  which  way  we  shall  bend  our  course 
when  we  leave  here,  I  cannot  tell.  May  the  Lord  direct 
our  steps  in  that  way  which  will  be  most  for  our  good  and 
his  glory  ! 

I  am  a  wanderer  upon  the  earth  I  may  the  Lord  help 
me  to  be  resigned  to  his  will  in  all  things — I  feel  to 
shrink  from  the  cross  at  times  ;  but  the  desire  of  my 
heart  is,  that  I  may  be  a  willing  follower  of  the  meek 
and  lowly  Jesus.  My  soul's  desire  and  prayer  to  God  is, 
that  the  people  of  America  may  learn  righteousness,  and 
jrut  their  trust  in  that  God  that  is  able  to  save.  O !  my 
heart  is  pained  to  see  so  much  inattention  to  the  one 


THE  WILDERNESS.  115 

thing  needful,  and  I  also  mourn  before  God  for  the  coid= 
ness  of  tny  heart!  O  that  I  may  be  stirred  up  to  more 
diligence  in  my  duty  ! 

Saturday,  August  20th.  The  Springs  seem  to  have  a 
salutary  effect  upon  me — may  my  soul  grow  with  grati- 
titude  to  ray  great  and  good  Benefactor  for  all  his  mer- 
cies to  unworthy  me.  1  am  under  many  obligations  to 
him  who  supplieth  all  our  necessities — may  my  soul  ever 
feel  sensations  of  love  to  my  precious  Redeemer  for  these 
unmerited  favours,  bestowed  on  such  an  unprofitable 
creature  as  me  !  My  poor  companion  is  still  much  afflict- 
ed with  the  asthma,  which  makes  him  very  feeble  in 
body ;  but  I  pray  God  to  strengthen  his  soid^  and  give 
him  wisdom  from  above  to  prevail  on  precious  souls  to 
close  in  with  the  overtures  of  mercy  !  The  Lord  help  us 
to  wait  patiently  to  see  the  salvation  of  God  ! 

"  The  way  of  danger  we  are  in, 
Beset  by  devils,  men  and  sin  !" 

But  may  we  view  the  line  drawn  by  the  Friend  of  sin= 
ners,  and  keep  there ;  so  that  we  may  be  prepared  to  pass 
over  Jordan  with  joy,  and  everlasting  songs  of  praise  to 
him  who  conquered  death  and  the  grave ;  and  made  it 
possible  for  the  ruined  race  of  Adam  to  obtain  peace  and 
pardon ! 

Monday,  August  22d.  Through  the  tender  mercies  of 
a  Beneficent  Providence  I  am  still  alive  and  out  of  eter- 
nity !  O  may  my  soul  be  bowed  down  at  his  footstool — 
feeling  gratitude  to  that  hand  who  hath  preserved  and 
provided  for  me  in  this  unfriendly  world !  I,  of  all  crea- 
tures, have  the  most  reason  to  be  thankful ;  the  Lord  hath 
raised  me  up  friends  lo  supply  all  my  necessities — may 
the  great  Master  have  all  the  glory.  Lorenzo  preached 
at  the  Springs  on  Sunday  the  20th,  to  an  attentive  con- 
gregation, though  made  up  of  various  characters,  and, 
some  of  the  first  rank — but  gentlemen  or  ladies  may  be 
known  by  their  behaviour,  meet  them  where  you  will. 
At  Milligin's,  (living  about  six  or  seven  miles  from  the 
Springs,)  he  met  a  large  company,  but  of  quite  a  different 
cast — they  gave  him  a  quiet  hearing  ! — may  the  Lord 
turn  curiosity  into  godly  sincerity  ;  my  soul  longs  to  see 


114  VICISSITUDES  IN 

^ion  prosper!  A  lady  rt  the  Springs  had  requested  us 
to  return  in  the  morning  before  she  should  leave  there,  as 
she  expected  to  start  lor  the  Bailsrown  Springs  soon 
after  breakfast.  Accordingly,  we  started  very  soon  in 
the  morning,  and  arrived  about  six  at  the  Columbian 
Hotel—where  this  lady,  Avith  one  more,  had  invited  us. 
They  appeared  very  friendly ;  they  were  from  South 
Carolina,  by  the  name  of  Colden  and  Harper — the  latter 
made  me  a  present  of  six  dollars:  may  the  Lord  reward 
her  as  well  as  others,  for  their  liberality  to  me  ! 

Thursday,  August  25th.  I  am  now  at  Ballstown 
Springs,  whither  we  came  on  Tuesday,  for  the  benefit  of 
the  water.  We  have  met  with  a  kind  family,  for  which 
I  desire  to  be  truly  thankful  to  that  gracious  Providence 
who  hath  opened  the  hearts  of  many  to  show  us  kind- 
ness—Mav  he  reward  them  richly  in  this  world,  and  in 
the  next  bestow  on  them  a  crown  of  glory !  Lorenzo 
hath  left  me  this  morning,  to  fulfil  some  appointments 
which  have  been  given  out  for  him — may  the  great  Mas- 
ter attend  him  Vvath  his  grace,  and  bless  his  labours  to  pre- 
cious souls !  I  should  rejoice  to  see  the  prosperity  of  Zion  I 
May  the  Lord  prosper  his  people  !  and  make  them  of  one 
heart  and  of  one  mind,  that  they  may  join  together  lo 
build  up  the  cause  of  God,  and  not  stand  in  the  way  of 
sinners  I  When  that  happy  day  m^U  arrive  I  know  not, 
but  whosoever  lives  to  see  that  period  may  truly  rejoice  ! 

We  stayed  a  few  days  more  in  this  place.  There  are 
but  few  people  here,  I  am  afraid,  that  truly  love  and  serve 
the  Lord !  O  that  something  might  take  place  to  bring 
them  to  a  sense  of  their  danger,  and  cause  them  to  seek 
the  Lord  in  good  earnest!  The  way  of  sin  and  trans- 
gression is  hard  and  dangerous !  May  the  Lord  teach 
me  my  duty,  and  enable  me  to  walk  in  the  way  of  holi- 
ness, that  my  last  end  may  be  peace  1  The  prospect 
before  me  is  something  dark  and  gloomy  at  times,  while 
I  am  tossed  to  and  fro  upon  the  boisterous  ocean  of  life — 
but  the  Lord  hath  been  my  helper  hitherto,  and  I  trust  he 
will  save  to  the  end  !  My  soul  needs  more  grace  and 
Strength  to  stem  the  torrent  of  difficulties  and  dangers 
that  I  have  to  encounter,  but  the  arm  of  the  Lord  is  suffi- 
cient I     What  is  before  me  I  know  not — but  I  hope  to  put 


THE  WILDERNESS.  115 

my  trust  in  the  Lord,  who  is  able  to  save,  and  not  say 
my  will,  but  thine  be  done ! 

August  27th.  My  soul  is  much  depressed  this  mor- 
ning. I  spent  the  last  night  at  a  house,  where  the  woman 
is  a  methodist,  but  the  man  makes  no  profession  of  reli- 
gion. I  felt  myself  quite  embarrassed,  as  he  appeared 
very  unsociable.  I  have  returned  to  brother  Webster's ; 
they  are  kind,  but  have  a  good  many  in  family.  My  way 
appears  something  difficult,  but  I  pray  God  to  help  me  to 
sink  into  his  will ;  and  in  whatever  situation  I  may  be 
brought  in,  to  learn  therewith  to  be  content !  O  thou 
Friend  of  sinners,  draw  nigh  and  give  me  more  of  the 
true  spirit  of  Christian  love  ! 

I  pray  my  God  to  give  my  poor  companion  strength  of 
body  and  mind,  to  be  useful  to  souls,  that  when  his  work 
is  finished  on  earth,  he  may  enter  into  joys  on  high  I  O 
happy,  happy  day,  when  the  labourer  shall  receive  his 
reward  !  May  he  be  faithful  to  his  God,  that  he  may- 
have  a  clear  sky,  and  a  glorious  prospect  of  that  rich 
inheritance,  which  is  laid  up  for  those  that  are  faithful  to 
their  God  I 

"  O  may  my  lot  be  cast  with  these, 
The  least  of  Jesus'  witnesses" —    ^ 

on  earth,  and  at  last  join  the  blood-washed  throng  above! 
Sunday,  August  28th.  This  is  the  day  that  our  all- 
conquering  Saviour  burst  the  bands  of  death,  and  led  cap- 
tivity captive  ;  opened  the  door  of  mercy  to  the  enslaved 
sons  and  daughters  of  Adam,  that  they  may  profit  by  the 
rich  sacrifice  which  hath  been  offered  for  their  redemp- 
tion !  What  matter  of  sorrow  it  is,  that  the  offers  of  such 
unbounded  mercy  should  be  neglected  by  those  who  are 
so  deeply  interested  in  it,  to  prepare  them  for  the  day 
of  adversity  and  death  j  which  must  assuredly  overtake 
them,  whether  they  will  or  not — there  is  no  escape ! 
moments  fly  on  without  control,  and  will  shortly  bring 
us  to  the  place  appointed  for  all  living !  O  that  it  may 
rest  with  ponderous  weight  on  the  hearts  of  all  concerned 
in  it '.  And  thou^  O  my  soul !  look  well  to  thyself,  that 
thou  mayest  meet  thy  Judge  in  peace,  when  he  shall 
come  in  the  clouds  of  heaven,  attended  with  his  glorious 
9 


118  VICISSITUDES  IN 

relinue  of  saints  and  angels,  to  set  in  judgment  on  the 
descendants  of  the  first  man  and  woman !  who  have  all 
had  the  offers  of  life  and  salvation  made  to  them !  It 
will  be  a  joyful  day  to  those  who  have  improved  their 
time,  "  and  washed  their  robes  and  made  them  white  in 
the  blood  of  the  Lamb" — but  O  what  horror  will  seize 
the  guilty  soul  that  squandered  away  his  precious  time, 
and  slighted  the  overtures  of  mercy !  who  done  despite  to 
the  Spirit  of  grace  and  the  Son,  who  took  upon  him  the 
form,  of  a  servant,  spent  many  years  of  toil  and  pain,  and 
at  last  gave  his  life  a  ransom  for  our  salvation  \  O  what 
unbounded  mercy  !  O  unexampled  love  !  Why  are  not 
our  souls  lost  in  wonder,  love,  and  praise  !  May  I  ever 
tremble  at  his  word !  My  departure  may  be  at  hand — 
time  is  short  at  the  longest.  O  that  I  may  improve  my 
precious  moments  as  they  pass,  to  the  glory  of  my  God, 
and  the  good  of  my  own  immortal  soul ! 

My  Lorenzo  is  engaged  in  blowing  the  gospel  trumpet — 
may  the  Lord  bless  and  be  with  him  while  absent  from 
me,  and  at  last  bring  us  to  meet  to  part  no  more  in  that 
sweet  world  of  love  ! 

August  29th.  My  companion  hath  returned  this  mor- 
ning. We  left  the  Springs,  and  came  on  to  Greenfield  to 
Dr.  Young's.  Lorenzo  had  an  appointment  to  preach  at 
ten  o'clock — the  people  assembled  at  the  time  appointed — 
Lorenzo  was  quite  feeble  in  body,  but  he  stood  up  and 
gave  them  a  discourse  on  "  the  great  day  of  his  wrath  is 
come,  and  who  shall  be  able  to  stand  ?"  with  a  good 
degree  of  liberty.  I  felt  my  heart  somewhat  refreshed 
under  the  word,  and  the  people  appeared  very  attentive. 
I  think  there  are  some  souls  in  this  place  who  truly  love 
the  great  Master — may  the  Lord  prosper  them  on  their 
journey,  and  preserve  them  from  the  evils  that  are  in  the 
world  ! 

My  Lorenzo  left  it  to  others  to  give  out  a  few  appoint- 
ments, which  they  had  in  such  a  manner  that  he  would 
be  much  pinched  for  time :  consequently,  he  was  under 
the  necessity  of  getting  some  person  for  a  pilot,  and  go 
on  horseback ;  as  that  would  be  a  more  speedy  way  of 
conveyance  than  his  wagon.  Accordingly  he  started, 
leaving  me  behind  at  the  doctor's,  until  he  should  return. 
He  had  to  preach  that   afternoon,  and  agaia  at  night  j 


THE  WILDERNESS.  117 

and  once  or  twice,  and  perhaps  three  times,  the  next  day. 
May  that  God,  whom  he  is  striving  to  serve,  strengthen 
him,  soul  and  body,  to  cry  aloud  and  spare  not,  to  sinners 
to  repent !  My  heart  is  many  times  pained  on  his  account : 
O  that  I  could  oftener  say,  Not  my  will,  but  thine  be 
done — that  whether  our  days  be  many  or  few,  they  may 
all  be  devoted  to  God. 

August  30th.  The  Lord  is  still  gracious  to  unworthy 
me,  in  giving  me  a  good  degree  of  strength  of  body,  and 
a  desire  in  my  soul  to  make  my  way  through  this  trying 
world  to  a  peaceful  eternity!  O  that  I  may  have  the 
whole  armour  to  fight  the  battles  of  *-my  Master,  and 
through  his  strength  come  off  victorious ! 

The  days  are  truly  evil,  and  we  need  much  grace  to 
enable  us  to  keep  the  narrow  way,  and  not  lose  our  guide ; 
for  we  are  surrounded  by  enemies  on  every  hand:  some, 
who  profess  to  love  the  Lord,  are  watching  for  EVIL, 
and  not  for  good  : — may  they  be  sensible  that  it  was  a 
command  of  our  blessed  Saviour,  "to  love  one  another" 
as  he  hath  loved  us!     May  our  hearts  overflow  with  love 
to  God,  and  our  brethren !     My  soul  longs   for  more  of 
that  spirit,  that  my  heart  might   melt  at   human  woe  ! 
May  my  soul  feel  for  my  dear  fellow  sinners,  that  I  may 
bear  them  up  by  faith,  to  a  throne  of  grace,  knowing 
their  souls  are  in  danger,  while  living  without  God  in  the 
world  !     My  lot  is  a  peculiar  one,  may  God  help  me  to 
fill  the  station  that  hath  fallen  to  me,  with  true  courage 
and  fortitude.     My  companion  is  calling  sinners  to  re- 
pentance, under  many  trials  and  inconveniencies :  may 
the  Lord  stand  by  him,  and  give  him  power,  and  wisdom^ 
from  above,  to  give  to  every  one  a  portion  in  due  season! 
Wednesday,  August  31st.     We  have  come  eight  or 
ten  miles  this  morning ;  after  Lorenzo  had  preached  at 
sunrise,   to  a   considerable    congregation,    with  a    good 
degree  of  liberty  :    the   people   were   very    serious,  and 
many  I  trust  were  true  lovers  of  Jesus!     In  about  two 
days  Lorenzo  preached  seven  times ;  the   last  meeting 
was  under  the  trees  by  moonlight;   the  prospect  was 
delightful,   he  addresseti  the  people  from   these  words  j 
"  Who   is   she  that   looketh   forth  at   the  morning,  fair 
as  the  moon,  clear  as  the  sun,  and  terrible  as  an  army 
with  banners,"    The  people  were  solemn  and  tender. — 


118  VICISSITUDES  IN 

After  this  meeting  he  came  to  Dr.  Young's,  where  I 
had  been  left  two  days  and  one  night.  May  the  Lord 
strengthen  his  body  and  soul,  that  he  may  cry  aloud,  and 
spare  not  for  sinners  to  repent.  The  times  are  truly 
awful,  and  alarming;  may  God  send  the  word  home  with 
power  to  the  hearts  of  the  impenitent,  that  they  may  take 
the  alarm,  and  fly  to  the  arms  of  Jesus  for  shelter,  before 
troubles  shall  overtake  them. 

We  have  heard  a  report  that  the  city  of  Washington 
is  taken  by  the  enemy  and  burned,  but  I  hope  it  is  not 
so:  be  that  as  it  may,  we  must  strive  to  sink  into  the 
will  of  the  Lord!  What  though  the  fire,  or  plague, 
or  sword,  receive  commission  from  the  Lord  to  strike 
his  saints  among  the  rest,  their  very  pains  and  deaths 
are  blest!  O  that  the  Lord  would  prepare  them  for 
every  event  of  his  providence  !  I  think  I  should  be  will- 
ing to  go  to  any  part  of  the  world,  if  the  Lord  would 
make  duti/  plain  before  us  ;  the  way  seems  to  be  intricate 
at  present,  although  our  way  hath  been  opened  in  a  very 
wonderful  manner  since  we  left  Virginia.  Bless  the 
Lord  O  my  soul!  and  let  all  within  me  join  to  praise  his 
holy  name !  may  he  guide  us  in  the  way  he  would  have 
us  to  go,  and  teach  us  our  duty,  and  enable  us  willingly 
to  bear  the  cross,  that  we  may  wear  a  crown  of  glory  at 
last. 

If  our  happy  land  should  be  brought  into  bondage  to  a 
foreign  foe,  the  times  will  be  distressing  beyond  what 
many  imagine.  1  pray  God  to  deliver  us  from  our 
enemies,  if  it  is  consistent  with  his  will;  and  if  we  need 
a  scourge,  that  we  may  fall  into  the  hands  of  God,  and 
not  man;  my  heart  is  pained  on  the  account  of  my 
country. 

My  companion  preached  on  Thursday,  1st  of  Septem- 
ber, three  times;  first  at  a  Methodist  meeting-house  in 
Malta,  where  we  had  a  sweet  and  precious  time,  there 
were  many  praying  souls  present :  from  thence  we  came 
on  to  a  friend's  house,  where  we  got  some  refreshment : 
we  then  went  to  another  appointment  at  a  large  "  steeple 
house"  where  he  had  been  requested  to  preach  by  some 
person;  but  the  house  was  shut  when  we  arrived,  and 
was  not  opened  at  all,  for  what  reason  I  cannot  tell ;  but 
expect  it  was  through  prejudice;  but  this  did  not  dis- 


THE  WILDERNESS.  119 

hearten  him,  he  stood  up  by  the  side  of  the  house,  and 
gave  them  a  discourse  on  "many  are  called,  but  few  are 
chosen."  The  people  were  attentive  in  general,  except 
one  or  two,  who  thought  their  craft  in  danger;  they 
grumbled  a  little  to  themselves,  but  did  not  make  much 
disturbance :  we  had  a  peaceable  waiting  before  the 
Lord.  From  thence  we  came  on  to  Still  Water  village, 
where  he  had  another  appointment;  there  he  spoke  in 
the  open  air,  to  a  tolerable  congregation,  who  gave  good 
attention !  there  the  meeting  house  was  shut  also  against 
him.  From  thence  we  came  on  to  the  Borough,  to  a 
brother  Even's,  where  we  stayed  that  night,  the  next  day 
Lorenzo  had  an  appointment  at  ten  o'clock;  my  prayer 
to  the  Lord  was  that  he  would  stand  by  him.  We  were 
on  our  way  to  the  city  of  New  York,  and  what  awaited 
us  there  I  could  not  tell,  the  gloomy  clouds  seemed 
gathering  over  our  hemisphere  ;  our  once  happy  land  is 
involved  in  a  bloody  war,  and  what  will  be  the  end  of  it, 
we  cannot  tell ;  may  the  great  Master  give  those  that 
have  an  interest  at  the  throne  of  grace,  the  true  spirit  of 
agonizing  prayer,  to  cry  mightily  to  God  for  deliverance 
from  the  thraldom  of  V(rar  ! 

My  Lorenzo  is  drawn  to  visit  a  land  far  distant  from 
that  which  gave  him  birth  ;  may  God  teach  him  the  way 
he  would  have  him  go !  My  desire  is,  that  God  would 
direct  our  steps,  and  enable  us  to  do  our  duty ;  that 
when  the  storms  of  life  are  over,  we  may  sit  down  in  the 
paradise  of  God ! 

Friday,  Sept.  3d.  This  day  Lorenzo  hath  preached 
once  at  the  Borough,  to  an  attentive  congregation  ;  we 
found  kind  friends  in  this  place.  From  thence  we  came 
to  Waterford,  and  stopped  at  friend  King's,  where  we 
were  received  with  expressions  of  kindness.  They, 
with  one  more,  requested  Lorenzo,  to  stay  over  the  Sab- 
bath, which  he  consented  to ;  my  soul's  desire  was,  that 
the  Lord  would  stand  by  his,  and  make  his  stay  profit- 
able to  souls ! 

My  heart  was  something  gloomy,  the  prospect  was 
dark,  the  times  precarious ;  what  was  before  us,  I  could 
not  tell,  and  I  felt  my  heart  drawn  out  in  prayer  to  God, 
that  he  would  help  us  to  walk  in  the  way  he  would  have 
US  to  go :  aay  desire  is,  that  I  may  be  prepared  for  all  the 


120  VICISSITUDES  IN 

troubles  and  difficulties,  that  I  may  have  to  encounter  in 
this  world  of  woe  !  My  dear  companion  in  tribulation  is 
quite  feeble  in  body,  which  gives  me  much  pain.  O  that 
I  may  learn  tlie  lesson  of  submission :  the  time  is  fast 
approaching  when  sorrow  will  be  turned  into  joy,  to  those 
that  are  faithful  to  the  God  of  all  grace  !  O  that  I  may 
be  of  that  happy  number  ! 

Lorenzo  is  preaching  in  Waterford  still;  on  Friday 
and  on  Saturday  night,  on  Sunday  morning  at  sun-rise, 
and  at  eight  o'clock :  the  people  came  out  very  well,  and 
appeared  very  solemn,  and  I  trust  good  was  done  in  the 
name  of  the  Lord,  May  the  Lord  inspire  our  hearts,  to 
cry  mightily  to  him  who  is  able  to  save ;  for  ourselves, 
and  our  country ;  it  lies  near  my  heart,  and  O  that  the 
people  may  feel  interested  for  its  welfare,  and  lay  at  the 
feet  of  the  Master,  and  humble  themselves  in  the  dust, 
that  God  may  deliver  us  ! 

September  6th.  We  came  to  Lancinburgh,  the  appoint- 
ment having  been  given  out  the  day  before ;  but  Mr.  Chi- 
chester, a  local  preacher,  who  had  been  a  principal  man 
in  building  the  meeting-house  in  that  place,  forbid  his 
preaching  in  it ;  consequently,  the  people  erected  seats  by 
the  side  of  a  large  brick  house,  for  accommodation  beneath 
its  shade,  where  we  had  a  refreshing  time  from  the  pre- 
sence of  the  Lord  :  my  heart  was  grateful  that  his  bless- 
ings were  not  confined  to  any  particular  place  :  for  if  we 
fly  to  the  desert,  behold  he  is  there — in  the  city  or  coun- 
try— sliil  the  Throne  of  grace  is  accessible  to  the  humble 
soul !  May  God  ever  keep  us  from  pride,  and  vain-glory^ 
that  we  may  always  keep  the  intercourse  open  between 
our  souls  and  him  ! 

From  thence  we  went  to  Troy,  but  the  same  difficulty 
existed  there,  the  meeting  house  was  shut  in  this  place 
also  ;  but  he  repaired  to  the  market-house,  where  he  soon 
had  a  large  company,  and  spoke  to  them  there :  many 
appeared  quite  serious :  may  conviction  fasten  on  their 
hearts !  We  had  been  in  Troy  about  six  years  before, 
and  then  had  more  friends  than  we  could  visit ;  but  now 
we  were  under  the  necessity  of  going  to  a  public  house  to 
put  up  for  the  night :  but  after  Lorenzo  had  done  preach- 
ing, and  we  had  retired  to  our  lodgings,  there  was  a 
friend,  who  we  had  no  previous  acquaintance  with,  came 


THE  WILDERNESS.  121 

to  the  tavern  wliere  we  were,  and  requested  us  to  go  and 
sleep  at  his  house,  which,  after  some  hesitation  we 
accepted,  but  left  our  horse  where  he  was. 

The  different  treatment  we  met  with  tiow,  from  what 
we  had  receivred  in  years  that  were  past,  made  a  very 
great  impression  on  my  mind  Lorenzo  had  preached  in 
this  same  place  a  number  of  times  about  six  years  pre- 
vious, and  was  treated  with  much  kindness  by  the  Me- 
thodists ;  but  now  they. were  very  distant. 

We  left  Troy  about  eight  o'clock  on  Monday  morning, 
and  travelled  more  than  forty  miles  that  day,  and  stayed 
at  a  public  house  at  night.  We  started  early  in  the  mor- 
ning, and  came  about  seven  miles,  to  a  house  of  enter- 
tainment, where  we  stopped  for  breakfast.  There  Lorenzo 
missed  his  pocket-book — he  left  it  under  his  pillow — it 
had  bank  notes  of  considerable  amount  in  it :  he  took  the 
horse,  borrowed  a  saddle,  rode  back  and  found  it,  which 
was  matter  of  thankfulness  to  us.  After  taking  breakfast, 
we  started  and  came  on  to  Rhinebeck  Flats,  but  made  no 
stop ;  from  thence  to  the  ferry.  We  had  to  cross  in  a 
sail  boat,  and  the  wind  blew  quite  hard,  so  that  it  appear- 
ed considerably  gloomy  to  me  ;  but  Ave  got  over  very  well. 
We  wished  to  get  to  Sopus,  or  rather  Kingston,  which 
was  about  three  miles  from  the  ferry,  before  we  stopped. 
We  came  on,  and  the  first  thing  we  saw  when  the  town 
appeared  in  view,  was  a  numerous  concourse  of  people 
assembled  together,  to  see  the  soldiers  take  their  departure 
for  the  city  of  New  York,  to  defend  it,  if  necessary  from 
the  enemy.  This  filled  my  heart  with  pain  and  sorrow, 
when  I  considered  they  were  liable  to  fall  in  the  contest, 
and  leave  perhaps  a  wife  and  children  unprotected  ;  and 
if  not  a  wife  and  children,  they  had  parents  whose  hearts 
were  bleeding  at  the  prospect — May  God  deliver  us  in 
his  own  good  lime. 

We  were  received  by  brother  and  sister  Covel  with 
friendship :  may  the  Lord  reward  them  in  this  world  with 
every  temporal  blessing  necessar^r,  and  crown  them  at 
last  with  a  crown  of  glory!  It  gives  me  fresh  courage 
when  I  meet  with  those  who  love  and  serve  the  Lord, 
for  we  find  such  to  be  kind  and  aflectionate  to  all. 

The  times  are  truly  awful ! — may  the  Lord  stand  by 
his  followers,  and  help  them  to  lay  at  his  feet,  that  they 


122  VICISSITUDES  IN 

may  be  prepared  for  the  gathering  storm — my  God,  give 
me  more  grace  to  hang  my  soul  on  Thee  !  I  know  what 
I  have  passed  through,  but  what  is  to  come  I  cannot  tell: 
but  if  God  be  for  us,  who  can  be  against  us  ?  O  that  we 
may  so  live,  that  we  may  be  prepared  for  the  worst. 

Since  we  left  our  father's,  we  have  travelled  several 
hundred  miles,  through  a  delightful  country,  flowing  as 
it  were,  "  with  milk  and  honey" — plenty  abounds  on 
every  hand — nothing  is  lacking  but  a  grateful  sense  from 
whence  these  mercies  flow.  May  God  inspire  the  hearts 
of  the  people  "with  a  due  sense  of  their  privileges,  both 
of  a  spiritual  and  temporal  nature,  which  they  do  enjoy  ; 
and  may  they  esteem  them  as  they  ought,  that  they  may 
be  saved  from  destruction  ! 

We  stayed  two  nights  and  part  of  three  days  at  friend 
Covel's ;  and  Lorenzo  had  two  meetings  in  the  town,  in 
a  court-house,  to  a  crowded  audience ;  and  they  were  as 
attentive  as  could  be  expected,  considering  what  a  thought- 
less place  it  w^as — may  God  have  mercy  Upon  them  ! 

We  left  friend  Covel's  on  Thursday,  September  5tb, 
and  travelled  on  until  night,  and  stopped  at  a  public 
house :  from  thence  we  came  on  towards  Newburgh,  and 
about  ten  o'clock  we  came  to  a  brother  Fowler's,  and 
called ;  but  he  not  being  at  home,  and  the  family  not 
choosing  to  give  us  an  invitation  to  stop,  we  kept  on  to 
Newburgh.  We  had  been  directed  to  call  at  a  friend's 
house,  by  the  name  of  Cowles,  but  could  not  find  him. 
We  then  continued  on  our  way,  intending  the  first  public 
house  we  came  to,  to  stop,  and  get  some  refreshment ;  but 
In  passing  a  toll  bridge,  the  old  man  who  attended  it 
knew  Lorenzo,  and  solicited  him  so  earnestly  to  stop  and 
take  breakfast,  that  he  consented.  They  appeared  much 
pleased  and  entertained  us  as  well  as  we  could  wish  :  it 
was  done  with  such  cheerfulness,  that  it  made  it  a  plea- 
pant  repast  to  us  indeed.  O  that  people  who  have  it  in 
their  power  to  do  good  in  the  world,  would  be  more 
Jiberaf,  and  not  let  the  POOR  out  do  them,  and  so  take 
their  crown  !-r— May  God  have  mercy  on  the  high  and 
'  lofty  ones  of  the  earth,  and  teach  them  they  are  born  to 
ilie.  and  perhaps  their  dust  will  mingle  with  the  beggars'! 
and  if  they  are  not  yurified  by  grace^  their  souls  will 
appear  guilty  before  GckI!  aud  how  can  they  stand  in 


THE  WILDERNESS.  123 

that  great  day,  when  the  dread  alarm  shall  be  sounded — 
arise  ye  dead  and  come  to  judgment  I  My  God  make  us 
all  sensible  of  the  necessity  of  being  ready  to  meet  our 
judge  in  the  airi 

From  the  toll  bridge  we  came  on  to  a  public  house,  and 
stopped  to  feed  our  horse ;  and  while  he  was  eating,  there 
was  a  woman,  who  we  had  met  in  a  wagon  a  little  before 
we  got  to  this  house,  who  thinking  this  was  Lorenzo,  had 
returned  back  to  this  house,  and  requested  him  to  stop 
and  preach  to  the  people  in  this  neighbourhood :  the 
tavern-keeper  also  solicited  him,  saying  he  would  notify 
the  nighbours.  Lorenzo  then  consented  to  stay  ;  and  we 
went  about  a  mile  further,  to  sleep  at  a  house  where  they 
were  Methodists,  The  place  where  Ave  went  to  was  a 
delightful  spot,  situated  in  a  valley,  between  two  consi- 
derable mountains,  covered  with  shrubs  and  trees,  but  not 
yery  fertile,  which  made  the  contrast  more  striking.  The 
house  was  surrounded  with  meadows  and  fruit  trees--- 
the  scene  appeared  charming  beyond  description  1  This 
would  be  a  sweet  retreat,  was  suggested  to  my  mind ;  if 
we  had  but  a  few  select  friends,  whose  souls  were  formed 
for  social  pleasure,  as  it  relates  to  spiritual  and  temporal 
converse! 

But  stop,  my  fancy  I  stay  thy  soul  on  God,  who  can 
give  peace  even  on  the  raging  ocean.  To  him,  and  him 
alone  would  I  look  tor  comfort,  and  not  to  objects  which 
are  so  transient:  my  lot  appears  to  be  in  a  peculiar  sphere, 
and  I  hope  in  love  and  mercy  the  Master  will  enable  me 
to  fill  it  with  patience  and  submission. 

We  left  Cornwall  on  Saturday  morning,  and  proceeded 
on  our  way  toward  the  city  of  New  York :  we  made  such 
progress,  that  we  got  within  fifteen  or  sixteen  miles  of 
the  city  that  night,  and  put^p  at  a  public  house ;  where 
we  were  much  disturbed  by  some  town's  people,  who,  I 
believe,  did  it  on  purpose,  on  the  account  of  our  appear- 
ance- O  that  thev  may  be  made  sensible  of  the  duty 
they  owe  to  THEMSJELVES,  their  GOD,  and  their 
NEIGHBOURS ! 

We  started  earlv  on  Sunday  morning,  and  got  to  a 
brother  Paradise's,' at  Bull's  Ferry,  where  we  left  our 
horse  and  wagon — Lorenzo  hired  a  Presbyterian  man  to 
keep  him :  and  brother  Paradise  took  a  small  boat  and 


124  VICISSITUDES  IN 

rowed  us  down  to  the  city.  My  mind  was  overspread 
with  a  gloom,  but  I  strove  to  put  my  trust  in  the  Lord — 
we  had  a  pleasant  time  on  the  water — we  got  down  to 
New  York  about  two  o'clock,  and  -went  to  our  old  friend 
brother  Munson's,  and  was  received  with  the  same  marks 
of  friendship  as  formerly — may  the  Lord  reward  them 
for  their  kindness  to  us.  Our  situation  is  as  good  at  pre- 
sent as  it  has  ever  been,  as  it  relates  to  our  temporal 
'pro»pect»j  but  no  doubt  trials  await  os  still :  may  the 
Lord  prepare  us  for  whatever  may  befal  us  in  the  way  of 
duty  !  I  have  met  with  another  kind  family,  who  I  am 
under  many  obligation's  to  in  days  that  are  past:  they 
still  are  friends — this  is  not  the  case  with  many — brother 
and  sister  Decamp  are  true-hearted  f  may  the  Lord  pros- 
per them  on  their  journey  to  a  peaceful  eternity  I 

The  cloud  appears  to  spread  over  the  American  hemi- 
sphere— may  God  prepare  his  children  for  the  shock : 
what  though  the  fire,  or  plague,  or  sword,  receive  com- 
mission from  the  Lord  to  strike  his  saints  amcng  the  rest, 
Xheir  pains  and  deaths  are  blest  I 

Monday,  September  12£b.  I  have  this  day  felt  my 
jheart  so-mewhat  more  composed  than  I  have  done  for 
some  time. 

September  13th.  This  day  we  have  received  more 
intelligence  of  the  invasion  of  our  once  happy  land.  O 
that  the  Lord  would  prepare  us  for  every  event  of  his 
providence  ! 

September  14th.  I  desire  to  be  truly  thankful  to  the 
great  Giver  of  every  mercy,  for  the  blessings  !  do  enjoy 
this  preeioijs  morning;  I  enjoy  a  tolerable  degree  of 
health,  and  am  surrounded  with  kind  friends.  O  that  my 
soul  may  be  filled  with  grateful  songs  of  praise  to  him, 
who  so  richly  provides  for  \#ie !  my  situation  is  as  plea- 
sant as  it  has  ever  S>een,  perhaps  for  many  years^ 

"  Bless  God,  my  soul,  even  unto  deatfe, 
**  And  write  a  song  for  every  breath." 

September  15th.  May  my  heart  be  made  truly  sensible 
of  my  dependence  upon  God,  who  giveth  to  every  one 
liberally,  that  seek  him  with  an  undivided  heart:  but  1 
feel  this  morning,  as  though  my  heart  v/as  too  far  from 


THE  WILDERNESS.  125 

that  enjoyment  which  makes  happy  in  this  world,  and  in 
the  next.  May  my  heart  be  revived,  and  filled  with  love 
to  God,  and  my  fellow  mortals.  Religion  is  low  at  this 
time,  in  almost  every  direction ;  may  our  hearts  feel 
interested  for  the  prosperity  of  the  church  ! 

The  times  are  truly  alarming^  the  sound  of  WAR  is 
heard  in  our  borders,  the  alarm  is  gone  forth — "  Ye  sons 
of  Columbia,  to  arms,  to  arms."  Our  sea-boards  are 
likely  to  be  deluged  in  blood.  While  our  interior  is  in 
commotion,  our  frontiers  have  been  saluted  by  the  war- 
whoop  of  the  savage;  while  their  tender  wives  and  children 
have  fallen  victims  to  their  wanton  cruelty ;  may  HE 
that  rules  on  high,  that  can  calm  the  raging  ocean,  and 
bring  harmony  out  of  confusion,  undertake  our  cause, 
and  deliver  us  from  the  hand  of  our  enemy,  and  establish 
peace  once  more  on  the  earth  I  But  this  may  only  be  the 
beginning  of  sorrow  to  the  inhabitants  of  this  terrestrial 
ball.  O  that  all  who  have  an  interest  at  the  throne  of 
Grace,  would  cry  mightily  to  him  for  strength,  to  stand 
in  this  day  of  adversity.  Lord  prepare  us  to  make  our 
way  through  all  opposition,  to  the  peaceful  happy  man- 
sions of  unclouded  day.  O  happy,  happy  land,  when 
shall  we  get  there — my  God  wash  out  the  stains  that  sin 
has  made  on  my  immortal  soul,  that  I  may  have  a  glorious 
admittance  into  those  pure  regions  of  everlasting  rest 
Trials  await  me  on  these  mortal  shores :  may  the  God 
of  love  attend  us  by  his  grace,  and  give  us  true  submis- 
sion to  his  will !  May  my  soul  be  filled  with  love  and 
gratitude,  to  that  hand,  \yho  hath  provided  for  me,  from 
my  cradle^  to  the  present  time.  How  much  I  owe,  yet 
how  little  I  do  as  1  ought.  O  my  soul  awake !  awake  I  to 
a  sense  of  duty  to  the  God  of  all  consolation,  that  my 
soul  may  be  filled  with  all  his  fulness. 

September  16th.  Nothing  material  has  taken  place  in 
my  situation  for  some  days,  but  a  continual  clamour  of 
WAR  is  saluting  our  ears,  and  what  will  be  the  final 
issue,  doth  not  yet  appear :  may  we  be  prepared  for  what- 
ever may  await  us :  my  soul  is  truly  pained  on  account 
of  my  country.  O  that  God  would  undertake  the  cause 
of  America  ;  that  the  people  may  learn  humility^  and 
submission,  to  his  divine  will ! 

My  mind  v:as  much  depressed  this  morning,  when  I 


126  VICISSITUDES  IN- 

arose,  but  these  words  came  to  my  mind,  "Be  still,  and 
know  that  I  am  God,"  with  some  power ;  may  my  heart 
acquiesce  in  whatever  may  be  our  lot. 

We  have  just  heard  the  joyful  tidings,  that  our  dear 
fellow  citizens  of  the  town  of  Baltimore,  are  delivered 
from  their  troublesome  visiters.  O  that  their  hearts  may 
be  thankful  to  that  hand,  who  was  able  to  save,  when 
appearances  were  most  gloomy ;  help  us,  O  thou  God  of 
love,  to  render  thee  sincere  thanks  for  these  mercies  ;  and 
may  America,  above  all  lands,  be  conformed  to  the  will 
of  him,  who  hath  wrought  out  such  a  deliverance  for  this 
favoured  country  !  may  my  heart  glow  with  thankfulness 
to  such  a  good  God,  and  may  the  remnant  of  my  days  be 
spent  in  his  service. 

Sunday,  September  18th.  This  day  my  soul  hath 
been  refreshed  under  the  improvement  of  brother  Daniel 
Smith  ;  while  discoursing  on  the  wickedness  of  the  Jews, 
the  once  chosen  people  of  God,  in  destroying  that  most 
worthy  servant  of  God,  Stephen;  his  triumphant  death, 
and  ascension  to  glory.  It  filled  my  soul  with  raptures, 
I  had  something  of  a  view,  of  the  suffering  Christian, 
bidding  adieu  to  a  world  of  woe,  transported  by  a  convoy 
of  angels,  to  his  Redeemer's  bosom  1  O  what  a  glorious 
scene  !  may  that  be  my  happy  lot,  though  unworthy  ! 

September' 19th.   My  heart  feels  quite  gloomy  this  day. 

0  that  these  trials  might  teach  me  from  whence  my 
strength  must  come  !  I  cannot  tell  what  is  before  me  ; 
may  God  prepare  and  help  me  to  hang  upon  his  promises, 
and  lay  at  the  feet  of  the  Redeemer  of  mankind.  I  long 
to  be  more  holy,  that  my  heart  may  be  drawn  from  earth, 
and  placed  on  more  permanent  riches.     Through  grace 

1  hope  one  day  to  out-ride  the  tempest  and  storms  of  life, 
and  reach  the  fair  fields  of  unclouded  day.  May  God 
revive  his  work  in  the  land,  and  prosper  ZION,  and  fill 
his  church  with  faithful  Christians  ! 

September  21st.  Bless  the  Lord,  O  my  soul,  and  for- 
get not  all  his  benefits.  The  days  are  evil,  we  have 
need  of  more  wisdom  and  humility,  to  walk  the  narrow 
road  that  leads  to  joys  on  high  !  What  a  vain,  deceitful 
world  we  have  to  travel  through  :  How  many  snares  on 
every  side  ;  may  we  be  as  wise  as  serpeiits,  and  harmless 
as  doves. 


THE  WILDERNESS.  127 

Friday,  September  23d.  The  days  are  rolling  fast 
away:  may  I  have  wisdom  and  grace,  to  improve  ray 
time  to  the  glory  of  ray  Creator  and  the  comfort  and 
satisfaction  of  my  own  imraortal  soul !  My  heart  is 
often  painvid  to  see  and  feel  so  little  of  the  life  of  religion, 
in  almost  every  direction  :  may  the  Lord  once  more 
revive  his  work  in  the  land ! 

Since  1  came  to  the  city,  my  husband  and  self,  took  a 
walk  to  the  "  State's  Prison,"  which  was  a  very  great 
satisfaction  to  me.  We  gave  one  shilling  for  admittance, 
and  had  the  privilege  of  going  through  every  apariment 
in  the  prison:  and  to  see  the  neatness,  and  industry,  that 
prevails  tliere,  was  truly  charming.  This  institution,  is 
one  of  the  most  noble,  perhaps  that  ever  was  adopted  by 
any  nation:  it  saves  many  of  those  poor  unfortunate 
creatures,  who  hdiVe  forfeited  their  life,  and  liberty,  from 
suifering  death  ;  and  gives  them  a  space  for  repentance : 
and  furthermore,  their  labour  is  very  useful  to  the  com- 
munity. The  7/i<?yt-were  very  serious,  and  appeared  quite 
downcast ;  but  the  icomen,  that  have  been  so  unfortunate, 
as  to  get  into  this  place,  appear  the  most  hardened  crea- 
tures I  ever  saw.  This  is  a  striking  proof,  to  what  human 
nature  may  be  reduced!  There  is  a  large  square  in  the 
centre  of  the  Prison,  where  they  may  range  for  health,  at 
times.  A  man  may  love  and  serve  the  Lord  in  this 
place,  as  well  as  in  any  other,  if  he  be  so  minded,  and  it 
may  be,  some  of  these  poor  mortals  will  be  brought  to 
reflection.  The  happy  day  is  fast  approacliing,  I  trust, 
when  LIGHT  will  shine  forth,  as  the  morning,  and  peace 
will  be  established  upon  the  earth. 

From  the  eleventh  of  September  to  the  seventh  of 
October,  Lorenzo  spent  in  New  York:  then  he  took  his 
departure  for  Philadelphia,  expecting  to  return  in  six  or 
eight  weeks;  but,  when  he  arrived  there,  he  found  his 
way  opened  in  the  city  and  country,  so  that  he  thought 
best  to  send  for  me  to  come  to  Philadelphia,  where  he 
had  concluded  to  spend  the  winter.  Accordingly  I  start- 
ed without  delay,  in  a  carriage  which  was  sent  for  rae, 
and  arrived  in  safety  in  about  three  days.  I  was  kindly 
received  by  friend  Allen  and  his  wife;  where  I  tarried 
until  the  return  of  Lorenzo  from  the  Eastern  Shore ; 
whither  he  had  taken  a  tour  two  or  three  weeks  previous. 
10 


128  VICISSITUDES  IN 

When  he  came  back,  he  wished  to  find  a  small  room, 
where  we  could  be  retired  from  the  world  for  a  few 
months;  and  we  were  so  fortunate  as  to  meet  with  a 
friend,  (who  had  plenty  of  house  room,  and  was  willing 
to  accommodate  us  with  a  small  room;  which  was  made 
very  comfortable  by  putting  up  a  stove  in  it,)  in  a  neigh- 
bourhood of  the  people  called  Q,uakers ;  where  we  found 
it  very  agreeable.  I  attended  their  meetings  with  much 
satisfaction  :  I  believe  many,  very  many  of  those  people 
to  be  truly  spiritual !  The  friend  and  his  wife,  at  whose 
house  we  stopped,  belonged  to  the  meeting,  and  they  both 
appeared  striving  to  be  what  they  ought — May  the  Master 
prosper  them  in  the  way  of  their  duty. 

February  27th,  1815.  The  news  of  PEACE  salutes 
our  borders,  and  echoes  through  the  land  !  It  is  a  truly 
pleasing  sound !  May  it  inspire  our  hearts  with  gratitude 
to  that  hand  who  hath  given  us  the  blessing !  O  that 
divine  peace  may  fill  every  soul,  until  this  favoured 
nation  shall  become  Immanuel's  land,  and  the  earth  be 
full  of  his  glory ! 

Quietness,  as  a  Canopy  covers  my  Mind. 

"  GREAT  God,  thy  name  be  blest, 

Thy  goodness  be  ador'd, 
My  soul  has  been  distress'd 

But  thou  hast  peace  restor'd. 

"A  thankful  heart  I  feel, 

In  peace  my  mind  is  staid, 
Balsamic  ointments  heal 

The  wounds  by  sorrow  made. 

"Though  elements  contend, 

Though  wind  and  waters  rage, 
Fve  an  unshaken  Friend, 

Who  doth  my  grief  assuage, 

"  Though  storms  without  arise, 
Emblems  of  those  within, 


THE  WILDERNESS.  129 

On  Christ  my  soul  relies, 
The  sacrifice  for  sin. 

''  Though  inward  storms  prevail, 

Afflicting  to  endure, 
I've  help  that  cannot  fail, 

In  Him  that's  ever  sure. 

"  Though  outward  war  and  strife 

Prevail  from  sea  to  sea, 
I've  peace  in  inward  life, 

And  that  sufficeth  me. 

**  Though  clamour  rear  its  head, 

And  stalk  from  shore  to  shore, 
My  food  is  angels'  bread, 

What  can  I  covet  more  ? 

"  Though  ill  reports  abound, 

Suspicions  and  surmise, 
I  find,  and  ofl  have  found, 

In  death  true  comfort  lies  : 

"  That  death  I  mean  whereby 

Self-Jove  and  will  are  slain; 
For  these,  the  more  they  die 

The  more  the  Lamb  dath  reign. 

=*'  And  well  assur'd  I  am 

True  peace  is  only  known 
Where  He,  the  harmless  Lamb, 

Has  made  the  heart  his  throne^ 

•*'  Thea,  then  rnay  tempests  rage^ 

Cannon  may  roar  in  vain  ; 
The  Rock  of  every  agCj 

The  Lamb,  the  Lamif  doth  reign,/ 


130  VICISSITUDES  IN 

May  8lh,  1815.  We  left  Philadelphia  in  the  steam 
boat,  for  New  York,  after  spending  an  agreeable  winter 
at  Benedict  Dorseys.  The  weather  being  very  chilly 
and  my  health  somewhat  impaired  by  reason  of  a  severe 
cold  I  had  taken  some  time  previous,  and  this  ex- 
posure which  I  passed  through,  came  very  near  being 
too  much  for  my  feeble  constitution.  After  we  arrived 
at  New  York  I  was  confined  almost  two  weeks  to  my 
bed — but  recovering  my  strength  in  some  measure,  we 
embarked  on  board  a  Packet  for  New  London,  where  we 
had  every  accommodation  necessary — and  after  a  plea- 
sant sail  of  about  thirty  hours,  we  arrived  safely  and 
found  the  people  kind  and  friendly.  But  the  cold  I  had 
taken  was  so  deeply  seated  on  my  lungs,  it  was  thought 
by  many,  it  would  prove  serious  in  its  consequence  to 
me.  We  arrived  here  on  Saturday — on  Sunday,  Lorenzo 
preached  four  times  to  crowded  congregations,  and  several 
times  through  the  week,  until  he  was  sick ;  he  was  attacked 
very  suddenly  as  he  was  about  to  lay  down  at  night,  with 
a  pain  at  his  heart  attended  with  chills.  We  were  then 
at  his  brother's — we  were  all  much  alarmed,  thinking 
perhaps  his  dissolution  was  at  hand — yet  lie  appeared 
composed  and  serene,  with  a  smile  on  his  countenance 
although  his  pain  was  beyond  description  !  My  soul  was 
poured  out  to  God  for  his  deliverance — after  a  while  he 
got  so  much  relief  that  he  could  be  layed  down  in  his 
bed — but  continued  very  ill  for  near  two  weeks  ;  he  then 
had  recovered  so  far  as  to  be  able  to  go  on  board  a  boat  for 
Norwich,  where  we  arrived  in  five  or  six  hours. 

We  were  received  with  kindness  by  brother  Bentley 
and  his  companion.  Lorenzo  was  still  very  feeble  in 
body — but  the  people  appearing  very  anxious  he  should 
preach,  he  consented,  and  at  six  o'clock  that  evening,  the 
Baptist  meeting-house  was  opened  and  well  filled :  he 
addressed  them — his  strength  held  out  beyond  what  could 
have  been  expected.  He  spoke  again  on  Monday  night ; 
it  was  a  solemn  assembly,  and  I  hope  good  was  done  in 
the  name  of  the  Lord. 

Lorenzo  hired  a  wagon  and  horse  to  convey  us  to  his 
father's,  which  was  betwixt  twenty  and  thirty  miles. — 
Early  on  Tuesday  morning  we  started  and  arrived  there 
about  one  o'clock  on  the  14th  of  June.  We  found  his 
dear  father  in  tolerable  health,  with  the  rest  of  the  family. 


THE  WILDERNESS.  131 

Lorenzo  spent  two  weeks  with  us,  and  then  thinking  it 
best  to  leave  me  witli  his  father,  bid  me  farewell  and 
set  out  on  a  tour  through  a  part  of  Rhode  Island,  and 
Massachusetts  to  sound  an  alarm  to  the  fallen  race  of 
Adam  in  those  parts.  My  heart  went  with  him,  in  desire 
that  he  might  be  useful  to  precious  souls. 

His  father's  place  of  residence  is  very  pleasant,  I  spent 
my  hours  as  agreeably  as  the  circumstances  could  admit, 
seeing  I  was  separated  from  my  companion,  and  had  not 
the  opportunity  of  meeting — there  being  none  within  my 
reach,  except  the  Presbyterian,  and  that  not  very  conve- 
niei-.t.  He  thought  he  might  be  absent  three  or  four 
months,  but  returned  in  five  or  six  weeks,  unexpectedly 
to  me,  and  spent  a  few  weeks  with  us — made  prepara- 
itons  to  leave  me  with  his  father,  and  start  on  a  long  tour 
which  would  take  him  eight  or  nine  months  to  accom- 
plish. This  was  something  trying  to  my  feelings — but  I 
dare  not  say,  do  not  go^  neither  do  I  feel  a  disposition  to 
prevent  him  doing  his  duty. 

On  the  30th  of  August  he  had  got  in  readiness  and  bid 
me  adieu — leaving  me  comfortably  provided  for,  as  it 
relates  to  outward  things.  The  family  consisted  of  his 
father,  sister,  and  myself;  the  old  gentleman  an  affection- 
ate friend  and  father.  We  spent  our  time  for  the  most 
part  quite  comfortably  :  considering  thi3  cold  inclement 
season,  my  health  was  far  better  than  it  had  been  for 
years.  I  frequently  received  letters  from  my  absent  com- 
panion, which  gave  me  much  satisfaction  ;  this  being  the 
only  way  we  could  communicate  our  pleasures  or  pains 
to  each  other.  He  gave  me  to  understand  he  expected 
to  return  to  us  in  April  or  May.  The  last  letter  I  received 
from  him,  was  dated  March  30th,  expected  to  sail  from 
New  Orleans  to  New  York  the  first  of  April;  and  by  his 
writing,  it  appeared  to  me,  there  was  a  doubt  whether  he 
should  be  brought  through  in  safety — or  at  least  he  ex- 
pected some  uncommon  difficulty  to  attend  him ;  which 
laid  me  under  great  anxiety  of  mind ;  the  season  also 
being  so  uncommonly  blustering,  that  I,  from  the  first  of 
April  until  the  middle  of  May,  was  in  a  state  of  mind 
not  to  be  expressed.  This  gave  my  body  another  shock — 
for  the  mind  and  body  are  so  closely  connected,  one  can- 
not  suffer,  without  the  other  in  some  considerable  degrea 
10* 


132  VICISSITUDES  IN 

feeling  affected.  I  strove  hard  to  apply  to  HIM  who  is 
able  to  save,  and  at  times  found  some  relief;  but  then 
my  thoughts  would  retrace  the  happy  seasons  which 
were  past ;  and  the  gloomy  prospects  that  now  presented 
to  view,  made  me  very  wietched.  I  strove  to  realize  the 
day,  the  happy  blessed  day,  when  we  should  meet  to  part 
no  more ;  but  could  not  so  much  as  1  could  wish ;  this 
gave  me  greater  pain,  seeing  my  heart  so  attached  to 
earthly  objects.  Yet  under  all  this,  in  some  measure  I 
was  supported  ;  for  which  may  my  heart  render  a  tribute 
of  praise  to  the  great  Giver  of  all  our  mercies ! 

About  the  15th  of  May,  I  received  the  pleasing  intelli- 
gence that  Lorenzo  had  arrived  at  New  York,  which 
removed  a  heavy  burthen  from  my  heart,  and  the  25th  he 
reached  his  father's.  I  need  not  say  it  was  a  memorable 
day  to  me — may  I  ever  feel  true  sensations  of  gratitude 
for  all  these  favours ! — and  improve  them  while  they  are 
preserved  to  me  !  My  soul's  desire  is,  to  find  closer  com- 
munion with  my  God ;  may  my  soul  sink  in  his  will  in 
all  things  I 

After  Lorenzo's  return,  he  prepared  to  steCT  his  course 
first  to  Philadelphia,  then  into  the  state  of  New  York — 
from  thence  to  Vermoat ;  and  wishing  me  to  go  with  him, 
he  procured  a  horse  and  wagon,  and  on  the  12th  of  June 
we  left  his  father's  house,  it  being  twelve  months,  lack- 
ing two  days,  since  I  came  there ;  we  went  from  there  to 
Hebron,  where  we  stayed  a  few  days — met  some  prea- 
chers from  the  General  Conference;  they  were  friendly 
towards  Lorenzo — from  thence  we  came  on  to  Durham, 
where  we  spent  the  sabbath.  Lorenzo  preached  three 
times;  on  Monday  morning  we  left  there  and  proceeded 
on  to  New  Haven — ther*^  we  met  with  more  preachers 
and  kind  friends  :  here  we  stayed  until  Friday.  Lorenzo 
held  a  number  of  meetings  in  the  time.  From  there  we 
came  to  New  York — spent  the  sabbath,  and  he  also  held 
three  meetings  there  in  the  course  of  the  day.  I  met 
with  old  friends  Captain  Anderson  and  his  wife,  who 
gave  me  a  pressing  invitation  to  go  home  with  them  that 
evening.  Lorenzo  was  willing,  and  I  accepted  the  invi- 
tation ;  he  was  to  come  over  the  next  morning.  Accord- 
ingly I  went  and  spent  an  agreeable  evening,  and  about 
one  o'clock  the  next  day,  Lorenzo  came — but  I  was  quite 


THE  WILDERNESS.  133 

unwell ;  the  weather  having  become  much  warmer,  it  so 
debilitated  me,  that  Lorenzo  feared  lest  I  could  not  hold 
out  to  travel — and  Captain  Anderson  and  his  wife  wish- 
ing me  to  tarry  with  them,  I  concluded  to  stay  ;  accord- 
ingly on  Tuesday  morning,  Lorenzo  set  off  on  his  way  to 
Philadelphia,  leaving  me  behind  ;  he  came  on  that  night 
to  Bridgetown,  where  he  preached  j  and  finding  such  an 
opening,  he  spent  two  or  three  days  in  the  place.  The 
friends  requested  him  to  send  for  me  to  come  there : 
accordingly  brother  Thomas  Pitts  came  on  to  New  York, 
got  brother  Washburne  to  write  a  few  lines  to  me — I 
came  over  from  Hoboken  and  met  him  at  brother  Wash- 
burne's ;  the  next  day  we  were  to  go  on  board  the  steam- 
boat. I  did  not  expect  Lorenzo  so  soon  ;  but  when  we 
came  to  the  ferry-house,  and  the  boat  come  in,  Lorenzo 
was  on  board :  he  intended  returning  that  night  or  the 
next  day  to  Bridgetown,  consequently  I  went  on ;  and  he 
returned  that  night.     We  have  spent  some  lime  in  this 

Elace ;  and  find  the  people  remarkably  kind — may  they 
e  rewarded  for  their  kindness  to  us.  My  soul's  desire  to 
God  is,  that  HE  would  reward  our  kind  benefactors 
wherever  they  be. 

Visited  Woodbridge — had  meeting  in  the  meeting 
house  of  the  Presbyterians,  and  returned  to  Bridgetown 
and  held  several  otner  meetings. 

July  26,  1816.— We  left  "  Bridgetown,"  N.  Jersey,  and 
came  on  to  Newark,  where  he  found  he  had  an  appoint- 
ment about  seven  miles  distant  from  there,  in  the  after- 
noon, leaving  an  appointment  for  night  at  Newark ;  he 
started  to  fulfil  it ;  he  returned  and  preached  to  aorowded 
auditory  ;  and  made  three  more  for  the  next  day,  which 
he  attended.  On  Thursday  he  started  from  Newark, 
giving  out  that  he  would  be  there  again  on  Friday  night 
— I  stayed  at  Newark  through  the  interim  ;  accordingly, 
he  returned,  and  preached  to  a  large  congregation.  Early 
on  Saturday  morning  we  left  Newark,  and  proceeded  on 
our  way  to  an  appointment  Lorenzo  had  left  the  day  he 
had  preached  at  brother  Dickenson's,  to  be  in  the  woods, 
not  far  from  his  house ;  at  ten  o'clock  there  was  convened 
under  the  trees  a  tolerable  company  of  attentive  people ; 
from  thence  we  went  to  New  Providence,  where  Lorenzo 
preached  again  at  night,  this  being  Saturday  night.    On 


134  VICISSITUDES  IN 

Sunday  morning  at  five  o'clock,  and  he  preached  again  at 
ten,  a  meeting  he  attended  six  or  eight  miles  from  there, 
and  returned — preached  at  three ;  from  there  to  Chatham 
in  the  evening;  the  next  day  returned  to  New  Provi- 
dence, and  preached  at  ten,  «hen  back  to  Chatham, 
preached  at  three ;  from  there  five  or  six  miles,  and  at 
night  held  in  a  barn,  which  was  much  crowded,  and  the 
<3ay  following  meeting  in  the  woods,  a  few  miles  off"— 
from  thence  to  Morris  Town — held  a  meeting  in  a  Bap- 
tist meeting-house,  some  behaved  well,  others  were  some- 
what unfeeling.  We  met  with  a  man  who  invited  us  to 
go  and  stay  with  him  for  the  night,  we  accepted  the  invi- 
tation, found  them  kind  and  affectionate.  I  spent  a  very 
agreeable  time — from  thence  we  went  to  brother  Munn's, 
had  a  meeting  at  night,  at  a  house  about  a  mile  and  a  half 
distant ;  the  next  day  we  went  on  to  an  appointment  at 
an  old  man's,  whose  house  had  been  a  preaching-hcuse 
for  twenty  or  thirty  years.  Here  the  congregation  was 
small,  but  a  tolerable  time — from  here  we  travelled  on  a 
number  of  miles  through  a  rough  road,  to  a  man's  house, 
who  had  given  out  an  appointment  for  the  evening; — 
There  came  out  a  goodly  number,  to  whom  he  spoke  ; 
they  were  attc%itive.  Early  the  next  motning  we  pro- 
ceeded on  our  journey,  and  struck  turnpike,  through 
Pumpton  plains,  so  on  across  the  country,  until  we  struck 
a  long  turnpike  ;  we  met  with  no  friends  after  this  until 
we  came  to  Kingston — this  was  sabbath  morning,  we 
had  to  stay  at  public  houses,  which  was  very  unpleasant, 
for  several  nights  previous ;  from  Kingston  we  -continued 
on  to  Catskill,  where  we  found  some  friends,  who  loved 
much  in  word  and  in  tongue;  we  stayed  there  from 
Sunday  night  until  Tuesday  morning,  in  the  mean  time 
Lorenzo  held  several  meetings  ;  from  thence  we  went  on 
to  Guemans  Landing,  met  with  a  very  kind  family,  the 
man  is  Post-Master  in  that  place  ;  he  pressed  Lorenzo  to 
stay  and  preach  in  the  evening,  accordingly  we  stopped, 
had  a  solemn  meeting  before  the  Lord,  and  were  treated 
Avith  every  attention  by  our  kind  host  and  his  wife,  that 
we  could  wish.  On  Wednesday  morning  we  continued 
our  journey  to  Albany  ;  here,  in  years  past,  we  had  some 
kind  friends,  but  now  otherwise.  We  got  into  the  city 
about   twelve    o'clock,  and  stopped   at   a  public   house, 


THE  WILDERNESS.  135 

while  Lorenzo  attended  to  some  temporal  concerns ;  I 
had  some  refreshment  prepared.  In  the  mean  time  Lo- 
renzo met  a  young  man  from  Schenectady,  who  invited 
him  to  preach  there  that  evening;  he  readily  consented, 
and  after  dinner  we  started,  and  arrived,  perhaps,  the  sun 
an  hour  high,  we  were  invited  to  stay  at  a  public  house, 
on  free  cost,  by  the  man  ;  I  thought  the  woman  was  not 
well  pleased  ;  be  that  as  it  may  we  stayed  ;  I  was  so 
fatigued  I  did  not  go  to  meeting,  but  understood  it  was  a 
solemn  time. 

On  Thursday  morning,  before  the  sun  was  up,  we 
started,  and  came  on  betwixt  forty  and  fifty  miles — stayed 
at  a  Dutch  tavern ;  found  no  particular  trouble — started 
very  early — came  on  to  the  Falls,  there  Lorenzo  left  an 
appointment  for  Monday  night,  on  his  return  ; — so  on  to 
Harcemer,  where  he  left  another  for  Sunday,  at  four 
o'clock ;  and  also  at  Utica,  where  we  tarried  at  night,  and 
he  preached.  From  thence  to  brother  Holms',  and  took 
dinner — from  there  to  brother  Dewey's,  but  not  finding 
him  at  home,  we  went  on  to  Manely's-square,  where  we 
met  with  him  at  night.  This  being  Saturday,  we  stayed 
over  the  Sabbath  ;  Lorenzo  met  with  some  severe  trials  : 
my  heart  was  almost  filled  with  sorrow,  the  prospect 
appeared  so  gloomy  ;  but  the  way  was  opened  for  him  to 
preach,  more  than  he  was  well  able  :  three  times  at  the 
square,  and  once  at  Pompey's  Hollow,  to  pretty  consi- 
derable congregations  ;  the  weather  being  extremely 
warm. 

On  Monday,  we  returned  with  brother  D.  to  his  place 
of  residence,  where  Lorenzo  has  preached  three  times, 
and  to  preach  once  or  twice  more. 

My  mind  hath  passed  through  singular  and  deep  trials 
of  late ;  what  is  the  cause  I  knoAv  not,  but  I  pray  God  to 
give  me  the  power  to  withstand  the  enemy  of  my  soul, 
and  enable  me  to  be  a  comfort  to  my  companion,  and  a 
blessing  to  myself  and  others. 

Friday,  August  23d .s— We  left  Vernon  and  came  here 
tlje  last  night — Lorenzo  preached  at  a  large  meeting- 
house, built  by  the  public;  but  the  Presbyterians  have 
the  preference — may  the  Lord  grant  the  seed  to  take  deep 
root,  and  bring  forth  fruit  to  the  glory  of  God. 

This  morning  my  heart  longs  to  sink  into  the  will  of 


136  VICISSITUDES  IN 

God — may  he  show  me  the  evils  of  my  heart,  and  all  its 
intricate  windings ;  that  I  may  seek  and  find  full  deliver- 
ance from  all  my  sins. 

On  Saturday  the  24th,  we  left  Vernon.  Lorenzo  had 
preached  a  number  of  times  to  crowded  congregations. — 
We  came  to  Utica,  and  attended  a  meeting  at  night  in 
the  Methodist  meeting-house,  which  was  very  much 
crowded  ;  also  at  sun-rise,  the"  house  being  likewise  com- 
pletely filled  ;  at  ten  o'clock  again,  but  the  house  would 
not  hold  one  quarter  of  the  people— he  was  under  the 
necessity  of  speaking  in  the  open  air.  After  he  had  done 
speaking,  they  came  around  the  wagon  to  bid  us  farewell. 
I  found  a  number  of  my  old  class-mates,  all  in  tears,  and 
appeared  to  be  on  their  journey  home — this  gave  me 
much  satisfaction — we  hardly  could  tear  ourselves  from 
them — we  had  a  melting  time.  From  thence  to  Harken- 
more,  where  he  had  an  appointment  at  four  o'clock  on 
Sunday  afternoon ;  here  the  Presbyterian  meeting-house 
was  opened,  and  well  filled :  he  spoke  there  again  at 
night,  and  at  sunrise — they  were  very  attentive.  From 
thence  to  the  little  Fall,  where  he  spoke  three  times  more, 
afternoon,  night,  and  morning,  to  many  people  ;  a  large 
field  is  open  through  this  country — May  God  bless  the 
hungry  people. 

Somewhere  towards  the  last  of  September,  Lorenzo 
left  me,  and  started  for  Philadelphia,  to  attend  to  some 
printing,  which  he  had  engaged  in  that  place  ;  expecting 
in  a  few  weeks  to  have  it  accomplished  so  as  to  start  for 
the  Western  Country,  to  supply  some  subscribers,  but 
was  disappointed,  and  detained,  until  it  was  so  late,  that 
the  winter  would  be  far  advanced,  before  he  could  reach 
the  further  end  of  his  route, — and  feeling  some  uncommon 
impressions  on  his  mind — he  concluded  to  return  to  New 
England — but  on  the  second  day  after  he  left  the  city,  he 
was  attacked  with  a  fever;  and  had  he  not  fallen  into  one 
of  the  kindest  families,  I  have  but  little  reason  to  think  I 
should  ever  have  met  him  again  on  mortal  shores  ! 

He  wrote  to  me  to  come  to  him,  if  possible  ;  and  some- 
thing  of  his  situation.  I  set  out,  and  got  as  far  as 
Hebron,  but  my  way  was  completely  hedged  in  on  every 
hand — the  weather  becoming  so  severe,  it  was  thought 
imprudent  for  me  to  attempt  to  proceed  further!    My 


/  THE  WILDERNESS.  137 

mind  was  in  the  most  distressing  state  of  anxiety,  for 
better  than  three  weeks,  I  ever  experienced.  I  felt  myself 
a  poor  lonely  creature — but  strove  to  put  my  trust  in  that 
God  who  was  able  to  save ;  accordingly  he  was  better 
than  my  fears — for  my  poor  companion  was  again  return- 
ed to  me,  for  which  my  heart  leaped  for  joy.  O  my  heart, 
may  it  be  truly  grateful  to  our  bountiful  Benefactor,  and 
lay  at  his  feet  in  humble  prostration. 

He  is  still  in  a  poor  state  of  health,  and  many  diffi- 
culties in  the  way  :  He  who  hath  hitherto  helped,  I  trust, 
will  still  be  our  support.  The  weather  is  very  severe, 
and  is  much  against  Lorenzo's  health,  yet  Providence 
seems  to  give  him  strength  according  to  his  day. 

I  had  some  conflicts  in  my  mind,  on  the  account  of 
what  we  should  do  for  some  necessaries,  but  the  Lord 
hath  provided  bountifully ;  yesterday  our  ,kind  friend, 
brother  Burrows,  and  his  son-in-law,  came  and  supplied 
us  with  all  we  have  need  of  for  the  present ;  may  the 
God  of  all  grace  bless  them,  for  their  kindness  to  us. 

Feb.  18th. — I  this  day  passed  through  some  trials  of 
mind,  which  are  not  new  to  me  ;  O  that  my  God  would 
undertake  my  cause,  and  deliver  me  from  the  power  of 
my  enemy,  that  I  may  shout  Victory  over  my  beset- 
ments;  be  prepared  for  life  or  death  ;  O  how  hard  I  find 
it  to  keep  my  mind  in  the  frame  I  could  wish.  Help 
Lord,  to  whom  for  help  I  fly  !  Still  my  tempted  soul 
stand  by,  throughout  the  evil  day  ! 

Sunday,  March  2d,  1817. — My  poor  Lorenzo  is  very 
unWell,  still.  The  last  night  he  was  much  distressed 
with  a  strange  kind  of  complaint,  which  affected  him 
from  head  to  foot  with  spasms,  and  a  restlessness,  which 
gave  me  much  uneasiness ;  what  is  before  us  we  know 
not,  may  our  master  help  us  to  sink  into  his  will  in  all 
things,  and  lead  us  in  the  way  of  truth  and  holiness,  pre- 
pare us  for  whatever  may  await  us,  whether  life  or  death, 
prosperity  or  adversity.  Lord,  we  are  weak,  be  thou 
our  strength,  teach  us  our  duty,  and  enable  us  to  pursue 
it  with  diligence. 

I  kave  felt  some  impressions  on  my  mind  of  late, 
which  I  cannot  account  for ;  what  is  before  me  I  know 
not ;  may  our  souls  drink  deeper  into  the  spirit  of  submis- 
sion, and  love  to  our  God ;  my  soul  longs  to  lie  at  his  feet. 


138  VICISSITUDES  IN 

Tuesday,  March  4. — The  days  fly  fast  away  when  my 
dear  Lorenzo  must  depart,  and  probably  leave  me  behind ; 
may  my  soul  fly  to  him  who  can  give  grace  and  strength,  to 
leave  all  to  him,  and  sink  into  noihing  at  his  feet,  he 
hath  been  my  supporter  througli  a  late  trying  scene,  and 
I  trust  he  will  save  to  the  end. 

O  that  I  could  sing — 

Through  every  period  of  my  life 

Thy  goodness  I'll  pursue, 
And  afrer  death  in  distant  worlds, 

The  pleasing  theme  renew. 

On  March  4th. — Lorenzo  went  to  Mansfield  ;  the  after- 
noon and  evening  were  uncommonly  lonely  to  me.  I 
strove  to  cry  to  him,  who  can  calm  the  boisterous  ocean, 
and  to  pray  to  give  me  strength  to  submit  to  the  will  of 
the  Master.  I  find  it  very  hard  work  to  give  him  up,  but 
I  hope  the  Lord  will  give  me  the  victory  at  last. 

Sunday,  March  16th. — My  mind  hath  been  somewhat 
comforted,  in  hoping  all  things  would  work  for  our  good, 
whether  it  should  be  in  separation  or  meeting  in  this 
world.  May  that  Hand,  which  gently  guideth  his  chil- 
dren in  the  way  he  would  have  them  to  walk,  be  our 
director  through  this  howling  wilderness  to  that  of  peace 
and  rest. 

Sunday,  March  23d. — ;My  companion  separated  from 
me,  and  when  he  will  return  1  know  not — may  we  be 
supported  under  all  our  trials.  These  things  ought  to 
teach  us  that  this  is  not  our  abiding  home — I  wish  it  may, 
and  that  we  might  with  all  heart,  be  seeking  one  above. 
I  trust  he  is  striving  to  do  good  to  his  fellow  men.  May 
he  be  prospered  in  the  labour,  and  many  precious  souls  be 
as  stars  in  his  crown  in  that  day  when  the  Lord  shall 
make  up  his  jewels — and  O  may  God  help  me  to  lie  at 
his  feet  in  humble  submission,  prepared  for  life  or  death  ! 

Tuesday,  March  25th. — The  Lord  is  still  gracious  to 
poor  me.  I  have  a  good  degree  of  health,  and  my  mind 
is  as  comfortable  as  I  could  expect,  in  the  absence  of  my 
best  of  husbands.  May  that  God,  who  I  trust  he  serves, 
preserve  him  from  every  danger,  and  may  we  meet  once 
more  on  mortal  shores  I     I  know  not  what  is  before  us :  we 


THE  WILDERNESS.  139 

may  have  deep  waters  to  pass  through.  O  that  our  heads 
may  be  kept  above  the  billows !  and  we  be  prepared  to  lie 
down  in  peace  at  last. 

March  26th. — I  have  felt  some  anxious  fears  for  rny 
poor  Lorenzo  this  afternoon.  I  would  leave  him  to  the 
Master,  and  say,  not  my  will,  but  thine  be  done. 

March  28th. — This  day  father  Dow  has  gone  to  Hebron, 
to  look  at  the  place ;  what  will  be  the  result  of  Provi- 
dence ?  may  he  preserve  him,  and  prepare  his  way.  My 
ever  precious  Lorenzo  has  been  gone  two  weeks  this  day. 
Lord  bless  and  comfort  his  soul ;  prepare  him  and  me  for 
what  awaits  us.  New  experiencies  open  to  us  almost 
every  day.  May  we  be  made  willing  to  suffer  all  his 
righteous  will. 

Sunday,  March  30th. — My  mind  hath  this  day  passed 
through  deep  exercises.  O  may  the  Lord  ward  -oft'  the 
blow  which  I  fear  !  I  am  left  in  a  situation  that  in  some 
respects  is  very  trying.  My  poor  Lorenzo  is  absent,  and 
what  his  situation  may  be  I  know  not ;  but  this  I  may 
expect,  bonds  and  afflictions  await  him  in  every  place ; 
but  if  he  is  faithful  to  his  Master,  he  will  stand  by  him. 
O  that  he  may  improve  every  moment  to  the  best  purpose 
for  this  world  and  the  next,  which  is  fast  approaching. — 
Our  poor  father  seems  somewhat  discouraged.  I  pray 
that  he  may  be  streno^thened  in  body  and  mind.  May 
the  way  be  made  plain  before  him,  as  it  relates  to  this 
world  and  that  Avliich  is  to  come.  I  desire  to  lie  at  the 
feet  of  the  Master.  May  he  give  me  the  power  of  sub- 
mission. 

March  31st. — I  have  deep  waters,  it  may  be,  to  pass 
through ;  what  is  best  for  me  is  only  known  to  the  Lord ; 
may  he  give  me  strength  to  fly  and  find  shelter  under  his 
wings.  O  may  he  bless  my  poor  Lorenzo  this  day  in 
soul  and  body  !  I  feel  some  anxiety  of  mind  for  our  poor 
old  father,  as  well  as  for  Lorenzo  and  myself.  May  God 
teach  us  the  way  of  duty  ;  may  we  walk  therein  with 
delight.  I  long  to  feel  my  heart  glow  with  gratitude  for 
the  favours  I  do  enjoy  ! 

Friday,  April  4th. — My  heart  feels  too  much  anxiety 
for  myself  and  my  poor  Lorenzo.  Three  weeks  to  day 
since  he  left  me,  and  whether  we  shall  ever  meet  again 
in  this  trying  world,  is  only  known  to  him,  who  orders 


140  VICISSITUDES  IN 

events;  may  he  be  with  us  in  every  trying  hour.  Dan- 
gers stand  thick  on  every  hand,  I  see  nought  but  trials 
here,  and  without  his  supporting  grace  we  must  fall. — 
May  he  give  me  the  spirit  of  a  Mary,  to  lie  at  his  feet, 
depending  only  on  his  mercy.  O  that  I  may  have  a  heart 
of  agonizing  prayer,  for  myself,  husband,  and  our  father, 
with  the  rest  of  our  friends  and  kind  benefactors. 

I  desire  to  be  an  altogether  christian,  patient  under 
afflictions,  willing  to  suffer  all  the  will  of  the  Master. — 
Lord  bless  my  companion  while  abroad. 

Sunday,  April  6th.— My  mind  hath  been  somewhat 
engaged  to  look  for  my  poor  companion,  nnd  that  He 
would  stand  by  him,  and  deliver  from  evils  that  may 
beset  him  in  this  world  of  sorrow  and  distress.  O  that 
the  Lord  would  breathe  into  my  soul  a  spirit  of  love  to 
God  and  my  fellow  men.  I  feel  like  a  lonely  mortal, 
bereft  of  all  that  is  most  dear  to  me  in  this  world.  These 
words  are  in  my  mind  sometimes  : 

As  on  some  lonely  building  top, 

The  sparrow  tells  her  moan  ; 
Far  from  the  tents  of  joy  and  hope, 

I  sit  and  grieve  alone. 

Wednesday,  April  9th. — O  how  my  heart  longs  to  get 
a  few  lines  from  my  dear  Lorenzo.  I  have  been  almost 
overwhelnaed  with  anxious  fears  on  his  account ;  O  may 
the  Lord  preserve  him  from  all  danger,  and  give  me 
strength  to  sink  into  his  will,  and  keepus  above  all  things 
from  sinning  against  him. 

Saturday,  April  12th. — None  knows  the  trials  through 
which  I  have  to  pass,  but  him  who  knows  all  things.  I 
am  sore  tempted  by  the  enemy  of  my  soul,  and  my 
anxious  fears  for  my  poor  Lorenzo,  are  beyond  descrip- 
tion ;  four  weeks  yesterday,  since  he  left  me,  and  I  have 
not  received  but  one  letter  from  him,  and  that  was  wrote 
in  less  than  a  week  after  his  departure  ;  what  can  be  the 
cause  I  know  not ;  may  that  God  who  is  rich  in  mercy, 
be  precious  to  his  soul,  preserve  his  feeble  body,  and  may 
we  be  permitted  once  more  to  meet  in  this  world  of 
sorrow.     My   soul  longs  to  be  freed  Irom  sin,  prepared 


THE  WILDERNESS.  141 

for  what  may  be  the  will  of  Providence  concerning  me  ; 
my  strength  I  may  truly  say  is  perfect  weakness.  O  that 
I  could  cast  my  whole  burthen  on  the  Lord,  resign  myself 
and  my  dear  companion  without  reserve  to  him,  believing 
he  will  sustain  us  through  the  unavoidable  troubles  that 
may,  and  do  beset  us.  I  long  much  to  hear  from  my 
Lorenzo.  O  that  I  may  be  patient,  and  wait  until  the 
time  shall  come  ;  may  God  give  him  Ihe  spirit  of  his 
station,  may  he  lie  at  the  feet  of  the  Master.  O  give  me 
Mary's  place,  also ;  fit  us  for  a  happy  meeting  at  his 
right  hand. 

Sunday,  April  13th. — My  mind,  in  some  measure,  hath 
been  comforted  this  day.  O  that  the  Lord  would  help 
me  to  give  mv  cares  to  the  wind,  when  they  can  do  no 
good,  only  make  me  wretched.  I  am  like  one  almost  that 
is  cloistered,  but  it  agrees  well  with  the  present  state  of 
my  ttiind ;  I  could  hardly  bear  company,  I  never  was 
more  weighed  down  under  trials;  what  it  wrieans  I  cannot 
tell,  whether  the  clouds  will  subside  or  grovr  darker,  is 
known  to  him  who  can  give  sunshine,  or  stormy  weather 
when  it  seemeih  him  good ;  O  that  he  would  undertake 
my  cause,  give  me  a  soul  humbled  in  the  dust,  at  his  feet. 
And  may  he  be  with  my  poor  Lorenzo,  and  help  us  to 
bear  separation  with  composure ;  why  should  a  living 
man  complain?  a  man  for  the  punishment  of  his  sins? 
I  have  too  often  forgot  the  mercies  of  my  God. 

Tuesday,  15th  April. — This  morning  one  load  of  goods 
started  for  Hebron.  What  is  before  us  we  cannot  see. 
I  have  not  heard  yet  from  my  Lorenzo :  may  God  bless 
him. 

Sunday,  April  20th. — On  the  18th  we  came  to  Hebron, 
and  have  found  an  asvlum,  at  Mr.  Porter's  ;  what  awaits 
me  here  I  cannot  tell :  may  I  rely  on  Providence  in  all 
circumstances  of  life ;  I  received  a  letter  from  my  poor 
Lorenzo,  which  made  my  heart  glad  ;  father  Dow  and 
myself  have  been  to  meeting  on  the  hill  to-day  ;  the 
second  one  I  have  attended  since  the  last  of  January. 

Wednesday,  April  23d. — I  am  not  got  out  of  the  reach 
of  anxiety,  my  poor  Lorenzo  is  gone,  I  know  not  where, 
and  our  poor  old  father  is  feeble  in  body,  and  his  mind  often 
under  a  gloom,  my  heart  also  prone  to  sink.     O  may  God 


142  VICISSITUDES  IN 

help  the  most  helpless  of  all  creatures  to  put  her  trust  in 
him. 

April  27th. — This  day  my  heart  feels  in  a  good  degree, 
to  look  to  God  for  myself  and  my  dear  Lorenzo,  who  is 
far  separated  from  me,  and  I  know  not  how  it  is  with 
him,  but  I  hope  Providence  may  protect  him  from  all 
danger,  and  keep  his  soul  near  his  wounded  side.  O  Lord 
give  more  of  thy  spirit  to  poor  me,  that  I  may  rejoice  in 
tribulation 

Sunday,  April  27th. — My  soul  feels  this  day  a  mixture 
of  hope  and  fear;  when  I  look  at  my  present  situation,  I 
fear  lest  I  shall  sink  under  the  burthens  and  cares,  as  it 
relates  to  myself,  my  dear  Lorenzo,  and  our  poor  father ; 
he  is  feeble  in  body,  and  his  mind  very  subject  to  depres- 
sion ;  I  feel  more  and  more  attached  to  him,  the  longer  f 
am  acquainted  with  him  ;  may  God  who  is  able  to  pour 
consolation  into  the  hearts  of  his  creatures,  comfoi\  him 
in  the  decline  ©f  life,  and  give  him  an  assurance  of  his 
love,  that  he  may  pass  over  Jordan  in  peace. 

My  ever  precious  companion  bears  with  great  weight 
on  my  mind,  from  day  to  day  ;  I  pray  God  to  preserve 
him  from  evils  of  every  kind,  and  bless  him  with  a  con- 
stant intercourse  with  his  Spirit.  I  long  to  be  altogether 
what  is  the  will  of  God  concerning  me  !  but  my  mind  is 
so  down  with  daily  anxiety,  that  I  cannot  tell  what  to  do ; 
the  way  is  dark,  I  know  not  what  is  before  me,  but  I  feel 
some  confidence  in  the  Lord,  that  he  will  open  the  way, 
and  enable  me  to  rely  on  his  mercy.  This  day  my  soul 
has  been  drawn  out  in  prayer  to  God,  to  preserve  my 
dearest  Lorenzo,  and  if  it  may  be  consistent,  to  return  him 
to  me  again  in  peace.  O  Lord  help  me  to  drink  deeper 
into  thy  Spirit ;  I  feel  to  mourn  before  God,  that  I  have 
made  so  little  progress  in  the  life  of  holiness ;  may  he 
give  me  strength  to  set  out  from  this  day,  to  be  more  ear- 
nestly engaged  to  live  more  devoted  to  him;  my  trials 
are  increased,  I  need  more  grace,  may  he  give  me  strength 
according  to  my  day,  and  assist  me  to  give  all  to  him, 
believing  he  will  order  all  things  best  for  me  and  my 
second  self;  it  is  now  almost  two  months  since  I  saw 
him  depart,  which  gave  me  extreme  pain. 

Tuesday,  April  9th. — I  just  received  a  letter  from  Lo- 
renzo ;  he  has  had  hard  difficulties  to  surmount ;  O  my 


THE  WILDERNESS.  143 

God  preserve  him,  and  give  him  strength  to  make  his 
way  through  all,  and  may  we  meet  again  in  this  vale  of 
tears. 

May  2d. — I  last  evening  received  another  letter  from 
my  tried  coHipanion,  he  is  still  feeble  in  body,  and  sur- 
rounded by  difficulties,  O  Lord  look  down  from  heaven 
thy  dwelling  place,  and  strengthen  his  body  and  soul, 
and  may  he  walk  in  the  light  of  thy  countenance. 

May  15th. — May  my  soul  feel  sensations  of  gratitude 
to  that  Hand  who  hath  preserved  me  until  the  present 
time,  although  I  have  to  pass  through  deep  waters,  yet 
he  doth  sustain  me.  O  thai  I  might  sink  into  his  will, 
and  leave  all  to  him ;  I  feel  sometimes  almost  ready  to 
sink  ;  my  dear  Lorenzo  is  absent,  he  is  feeble  in  body,  and 
beset  on  every  side  by  enemies  that  would  injure  him  ;  O 
may  God  preserve  him  from  every  harm,  and  bring  him 
back  safely  to  poor  unworthy  me  again. 

May  21st. — The  prospect  still  appears  gloomy,  my  body 
is  somewhat  borne  down  with  pain  and  weakness,  and 
many  trials  of  mind ;  my  dear  Lorenzo's  gone  ;  I  know 
not  his  situation  ;  and  his  precious  father  has  too  great  a 
burthen  lying  upon  him ;  I  fear  the  consequence  :  O  that 
the  Lord  may  appear  for  our  relief,  and  give  me  patience, 
and  help  me  also  to  realize  my  favours,  for  I  hare  many 
to  be  thankful  for  ;  but  I  am  too  apt  to  look  on  the  dark 
side,  and  forget  mercies  in  dwelling  on  troubles. 

Monday,  May  28th. — Through  the  kindness  of  the 
Lord,  I  am  more  comfortable  in  body  than  I  have  been 
for  several  days  ;  may  my  heart  be  truly  thankful  to  him 
who  gives  us  all  our  favours ;  our  father  has  this  day 
gone  to  Coventry,  may  angels  attend  him  from  the  Lord, 
and  safely  return  him  to  me  again ;  it  appears  very  lonely 
when  he  is  gone  ;  he,  in  some  measure,  makes  up  the 
absence  of  my  companion.  O  Lord  be  with  us  all,  and 
prepare  us  for  further  events. 

July  5th. — Through  the  month  of  June  I  have  been 
out  of  health,  and  much  weighed  down  under  trials.  On 
the  17th  we  removed  from  Mr.  Porter's,  to  our  OAvn  house  ; 
it  was  but  slightly  fixed,  for  our  reception,  but  so  that  it 
was,  in  some  measure  comfortable  for  dinner;  it  appeared 
pleasant  to  be  in  a  house  ihat  I  have  some  claim  to ;  yet 
11* 


144  VICISSITUDES  IN 

1  would  hold  every  thing  here  as  lent  from  the  Lord, 
willing  to  give  it  up  when  called  for. 

On  the  second  day  of  July,  Lorenzo's  sisters  and  brother 
Bridgemon,  came  to  Hebron,  and  stayed  one  week,  and 
then  left  us  for  Coventry.  The  day'  after  1  received  a 
letter  from  my  dear  Lorenzo,  reviving  a  hope  in  my 
breast,  of  seeing  him  in  a  few  weeks;  may  the  Lord 
prosper  him,  and  give  me  patience,  for  I  feel  I  can  hardly 
wait  until  the  time  arrives. 

Lorenzo  returned  the  25th  of  July  ;  my  heart  leaped 
for  joy  to  behold  him  once  more  in  this  world  of  trial; 
he  hath  been  prospered  beyond  all  expectation,  may  my 
soul  glow  with  gratitude  to  the  God  of  all  mercies,  for 
those  unmerited  favours. 

August  24th. — I  have  again  had  to  conflict  with  the 
enemy  of  souls  and  my  weapons  have,  as  yet,  appeared 
too  weak  to  conquer,  but  I  feel  a  hope  in  my  soul,  that 
through  Jesus's  grace,  I  shall  be  victorious  at  last ;  I  find 
I  have  my  besetments,  and  some  in  partieular,  that  attract 
me  more  forcibly  than  others.  O  that  God  may  give  me 
strength  to  withstand  them.  I  am  truly  desirous  to  be  a 
comfort  to  my  dear  Lorenzo ;  he  has  his  trials  in  the 
peculiar  mode  he  is  called  to  pursue  ;  may  he  have  grace 
and  wisdom  to  keep  to  his  guide.  I  have  had  my  mind 
exercised  concerning  the  extraordinary  union  of  soul  and 
body  ;  when  the  soul  is  under  trials,  the  body  immediately 
feels  the  ^veight,  the  body  also  must  weigh  down  the  soul 
when  affected,  consequently,  a  body  so  feeble  as  mine, 
and  a  mind  so  liable  to  depression  and  evil,  needs  to  strug- 
gle hard  to  keep  above  the  billows,  which  soon  after  arise. 

O  Lord  help!  O  Lord  strengthen  and  support  me  under 
all  my  conflicts,  and  give  me  a  clear  prospect  to  another 
world. 

My  Loreozo  must  leave  me  again  in  a  few  days,  may  I 
cheerfully  give  him  up,  and  may  the  Lord  go  with  and 
bless  him  on  his  journey. 

Tuesday,  September  6th. — This  day  my  soul  hath 
passed  through  deep  waters,  and  I  fear  lest  the  floods 
cover  me  at  last ;  O  that  God  would  appear  for  my  relief, 
and  show  me  why  the  enemy  of  my  soul  is  permitted  to 
beset  me  so  severely  ;  O  that  I  could  fly  to  the  arms  of  a 
bleeding  Saviour,  and  sink  into  nothing  at  his  feet.    I  am 


THE  WILDERNESS.  145 

poor  and  needy,  weaker  than  a  bruised  reed,  help  I  every 
moment  need. 

September  10th. — There  is  still  a  gloom  on  my  mind, 
though  somewhat  lighter,  but  what  will  be  the  end  of 
me,  I  know  not ;  but  I  hope  the  Lord  may  free  me  from 
an  heart  prone  to  evil ;  O  that  I  might  stand  in  a  situation 
that  the  enemy  may  have  nothing  to  work  upon  in  me ! 

October  17th. — My  soul  still  labours  under  trials.  I 
strive  to  cry  to  God  for  delivering  grace,  but  when  I  shall 
obtain  what  my  soul  needs,  I  know  not.  O  that  he  would 
make  haste  to  deliver !  My  dear  Lorenzo  has  been  absent 
near  seven  weeks  ;  may  tne  Lord  be  with  him,  comfort 
and  strengthen  him,  soul  and  body. 

Saturday  night,  November  15th. — My  soul  feels  the 
need  of  a  greater  conformity  to  that  God,  in  whom  I  live, 
to  whom  I  am  indebted  for  every  blessing  I  do  enjoy, 
temporal  and  spiritual.  I  shall,  (if  I  live  to  see  another 
day,)  be  thirty-seven  years  ol  age,  and  I  would  lay  my 
mouth  in  the  dust,  at  his  feet,  lamenting  I  have  spent 
those  precious  months,  days,  and  moments  so  little  to  the 
glory  of  his  grace,  and  the  benefit  of  my  own  soul,  and 
the  good  of  others.  I  desire  this  precious  night  to  make 
a  covenant  with  my  soul,  to  begin  with  the  first  of  my 
thirty-eighth  year,  and  strive  to  dedicate  my  soul  and 
body  to  the  Lord.  Whether  I  shall  see  half  the  year 
expire,  is  only  known  to  him  who  has  the  issues  of  life 
and  death ;  but  that  need  not  alarm  me  so  much,  as  how 
I  spend  my  time.  O  that  he  would  bow  the  gentle  hea- 
vens, and  come  into  my  soul ;  then  I  shall  have  power  to 
fight  the  enemy  who  continually  besets  me  on  every  side. 
My  dear  companion  is  now  absent— may  God  be  with 
him,  and  preserve  him  from  every  danger  ;  and  if  it  may 
consist  with  his  holy  will,  bring  him  to  me  again  in  safety. 

November  18th. — O  God  of  all  grace,  help  me  to  lie  at 
thy  feet,  that  I  may  overcome  the  evils  of  my  heart ;  and 
unite  my  soul  to  thee  by  a  living  faith,  that  death  cannot 
dissolve. 

December  12th. — A  new,  or  rather  an  old  trial  revived, 
has  again  fallen  to  my  lot :  my  dear  Lorenzo  is  far  sepa- 
rated from  me,  and  I  have  reasons  to  fear  he  is  in  a  more 
than  common  poor  state  of  health ;  and  what  the  Master 
has  in  store  for  us,  I  know  not,  but  I  hope  he  w5i  give  us 


146  VICISSITUDES  IN 

grace  to  submit  to  his  will  without  murmuring,  to  lay  at 
the  feet  of  ray  Master,  is.  what  I  most  earnestly  seek 
after.  If  I  meet  him  no  more  on  this  side  Jordan,  may 
God  prepare  me  to  join  the  happy  company  on  the  other; 
to  spend  a  long  eternity  in  adoring  redeeming  grace,  and 
dying  love.  My  soul  is  much  weighed  down  under  the 
present  trial ;  may  I  be  strengthened  to  soar  above  all  the 
world  can  give,  and  may  the  too  strong  attachment  I  feel 
to  my  companion,  be  overcome  with  love  to  my  Saviour, 
who  has  done  so  much  for  me.  Help,  Lord,  to  whom  for 
help  I  fly ! 

Sunday,  December  14th. — My  soul  feels  somewhat 
encouraged  to  rely  on  the  Lord  our  Grod  for  strength  to 
submit  my  all  to  him,  and  leave  my  dear  companion  in 
his  hands,  to  do  with  him  as  seemeth  him  good,  whether 
to  call  him  to  a  happy  eternity,  or  to  foreign  lands  to 
preach  his  gospel.  O  that  he  may  breathe  into  my  soul 
a  true  spirit  of  submission,  and  prepare  me  to  do  my 
duty,  and  suffer  all  his  righteous  will  here  below  with 
patience — my  soul  longs  to  drink  deep  into  his  Spirit. — 

0  that  I  might  wear  humility  as  a  garment;  I  would 
mourn  before  my  God,  that  I  live  so  little  to  his  glory, 
that  I  improve  the  time  and  talents  I  have  so  poorly  :  may 

1  this  day  make  a  new  covenant  with  my  heart,  my  eyes, 
my  ears,  my  hands,  and  all  the  powers  and  faculties  of 
my  soul  and  body,  to  be  devoted  to  the  service  of  God, 
and  live  as  one  bound  to  eternity,  who  must  shortly  give 
an  account ;  but  I  am  dependant  on  the  God  of  all  grace 
for  strength  to  put  any  resolution  into  practice ;  O  mav 
he  this  day  impart  grace  to  my  soul,  to  sink  into  his  will 
in  all  things. 

Rest  for  my  soul  I  long  to  find, 

Saviour  of  all,  if  mine  thou  art, 
Give  me  thy  meek  and  lowly  mind, 

And  stamp  thine  image  on  my  heart. 

Sunday,  Dec.  21st. — Sorrows  and  trials  await  my  jour- 
ney ;  our  dear  father  seems  verging  to  the  grave,  and  poor 
Lorenzo  is  absent,  and  perhaps  under  affliction  too ;  my 
heart  is  ^jlivided  oetween  them,  and  my  own  trials  of 


THE  WILDERNESS.  147 

mind ;  my  heart  is  rising  in  rebellion  at  times,  against 
the  dispensations  of  Providence,  and  makes  me  very 
unhappy.  O  may  these  crosses  teach  me  what  they  are 
designed  for;  the  Lord  hath  said  he  doth  not  afflict  wil- 
lingly, nor  grieve  the  children  of  men,  but  to  show  them 
how  much  their  hearts  are  attached  to  the  world,  and  the 
things  therein ;  may  every  cross-providence  serve  to  wean 
me  from  all  I  hold  dear,  and  may  my  Lord  have  the  pre- 
ference to  all  inferior  thing'i. 

Wednesday,  Dec.  24. — I  feel  like  one  alone  ;  what  can 
be  the  cause  of  my  sinking  down  under  a  gloom?  all  is 
not  right  within. 

May  the  spirit  of  divine  truth  shine  into  my  soul,  and 
teach  me  all  my  duty  ;  O  that  it  might  expel  the  enemies 
of  my  God  ;  pride,  unbelief,  jealousy,  envy,  evil  thinking, 
and  sneaking.  I  have  of  late  been  beset  with  new  trials — 
a  desire  to  gain  the  applause  of  men  more  than  the  appro- 
bation of  my  Saviour.  I  would  have  it  driven  from  my 
heart,  and  in  its  place  a  meek  and  humble  frame  of  mind, 
feeling  I  have  nothing  worthy  of  praise  in  myself,  ab- 
stracted fr.om  the  grace  of  God.  My  soul  longs  to  be 
formed  anew,  freed  from  all  the  evils  of  nature  ;  made  a 
fit  temple  for  the  residence  of  the  spirit  of  my  Master. — 
My  dear  Lorenzo  is  absent,  I  know  not  where ;  the  last  I 
heard  from  him,  he  was  in  Baltimore,  from  thence,  per- 
haps, he  may  go  to  Richmond;  his  body  is  feeble,  but  I 
trust  his  soul  is  filled  with  peace,  love,  and  joy.  Would 
to  God  my  soul  could  enjoy  the  same,  and  be  closely  united 
with  him,  to  our  precious  Redeemer,  and  whether  we 
meet  again  on  the  shores  of  time  or  not,  that  I  might  hail 
him  on  the  happy  confines  of  eternity,  where  we  shall 
feel  no  more  pain  of  body  nor  mind,  shall  be  out  of  the 
reach  of  sin  and  Satan,  to  meet  all  the  ship's  company, 
who  have  sailed  with  the  Saviour  below.  O  happy  day 
for  those  who  gain  the  prize,  who  hold  out  faithful  to  the 
end,  and  are  received  into  the  bosom  of  their  Lord;  may 
my  soul  be  quicKened,  to  run  the  race  with  more  diligence. 

Sunday.  Jan.  11,  1818. — Through  the  great  mercy  of  a 
kind  Providence,  I  am  still  an  inhabitant  of  thia  lower 
world  ;  but  what  is  in  the  way  before  me,  I  know  not ;  I 
feel  some  new  desires  in  my  soul,  to  live  to  the  glory  of 
God ;  to  be  freed  from  in-bred  corruptions ;  to  have  strength 


148  VICISSITUDES  IN 

to  put  ray  trust  in  Him,  to  say,  not  my  will  but  thine  be 
done.  My  dearest  of  earthly  friends  is  far  distant  from 
me ;  and  whether  I  shall  ever  behold  him  again,  in  this 
vale  of  tears,  is  only  known  to  Him  who  has  all  power 
and  goodness  in  his  own  hands ;  on  whom  it  is  our  duty 
and  privilege  to  depend  for  life  and  death.  I  feel  my 
heart  as  it  were,  borne  down  under  a  weight  of  sorrow — 
the  prospect  is  somewhat  beclouded.  O  may  the  tender 
hearted  Jesus  have  mercy  upon  me,  the  most  unworthy  of 
his  creatures ;  and  cleanse  my  heart  from  all  impurity ! 
help  me  to  give  up  my  companion  with  cheerfulness,  to 
go  und  labour  in  the  vineyard  of  his  Lord,  and  prepare 
me  to  meet  him  in  the  blest  mansions  of  peace,  wnen  all 
our  toils  are  over. 

January  28th- — O  the  need  I  have  of  more  religion  ; — ; 
may  God  "help  me  to  lay  aside  every  weight,  and  the  sin 
that  doth  easily  beset  me;  and  may  I  run  with  patience 
the  race  set  before  me ;  the  way  of  danger  I  am  in,  de- 
prived of  the  privilege,  in  a  great  measure  of  attending 
meeting,  and  have  more  of  the  cares  and  concerns  of  the 
world  laid  upon  me,  than  heretofore,  my  companion  in 
life  in  a  distant  land,  and  the  probability  that  he  may 
again  try  the  uncertainty  and  dangers  of  the  seas.  O  that 
God  may  teach  him  clearly  his  duty,  and  then  give  me  a 
mind  filled  and  prepared  to  submit  to  his  will.  I  have 
passed  through  some  sore  conflicts,  the  summer  past;  I 
could  not  account  for  my  feelings,  why  the  Lord  was 
suffering  the  enemy  to  attack  me  in  such  an  unaccount- 
able way,  was  a  mystery  to  me ;  but  of  late  I  have 
thought  it  was  to  show  me  what  was  in  my  heart : 
something  I  did  not  know  had  a  place  there — may  the 
Lord  who  giveth  liberally  and  upbraideth  not,  give  me 
victory  over  all  and  every  evil  propensity  of  my  nature; 
and  prepare  me  to  fill  the  station  he  has  designed  me.  If 
he  should  suffer  me  again  to  see  my  dear  Lorenzo,  rnajr  it 
be  to  our  mutual  benefit,  as  it  relates  to  our  Christian 
:Course. 

I  feel  most  earnestly  to  beseech  God  to  teach  him  the 
way  of  his  duty,  if  he  does  require  him  agaiu  to  cross 
the  ocean ;  may  the  way  open  clearly  to  him,  if  not,  may 
some  preventative  take  place.  I  know  not  what  is  required 
©f  hira,  and  I  would  not  stand  in  the  w^y  of  his  comply- 


THE  WILDERNESS.  140 

ing  with  duty.  I  feel  somewhat  lonely  at  times,  but  have 
more  resignation  for  the  Lord  to  do  with  us  as  seemeth 
him  good,  than  I  have  experienced  at  other  times ;  may 
the  Lord  increase  the  begun  work  in  my  soul,  until  all  I 
am  is  lost  in  him. 

February  1st. — My  life's  cleaving  to  the  dust ;  Lord 
give  me  more  of  divine  life.  I  feel  the  seeds  of  mortality 
in  my  dying  body  ;  O  that  I  might  improve  more  dili- 
gently and  carefully  my  time. 


HERE  ENDS  HER  JOURNAL. 


Dear  LoseKzo, 

After  an  absence  of  three  weeks,  which  seems  long  to  me,  very  long, 
1  take  my  pen  the  second  time  to  converBe  with  him  who  ia  the  dear- 
est object  below  the  sun  to  rr.y  heart.  1  have  not  yet  heafd  from 
you  since  you  crossed  the  river  at  Middletown — but  I  hope  the  Provi- 
dence of  God  will  attend  and  protect  you  on  your  mission,  and  return 
you  ro  us  in  safety.  I  would  leave  all  to  the  disposal  of  our  treat 
Master — yet  I  feel  my  heart  too  often  holding  you  tight — may  Jesua 
be  the  greatest  and  most  lovely  object  in  my  eyes !  1  would  liave 
Mary's  place  at  his  feet,  and  receive  his  instructions  with  submission. 
1  long  to  live  so  as  to  ir.ect  his  approbation;  and  1  also  pray  not  to 
stand  in  your  way,  and  prevent  your  usefulness  to  souls.  My  daily 
prayer  to  God  is,  that  you  may  be  clothed  with  the  true  spirit  of  a 
minister  of  Christ,  and  find  your  labours  blessed  from  place  to  place ! 
You  have  had  great  encouragement  the  summer  past ;  may  God 
still  be  with  you,  and  give  you  to  see  more  fruit  of  your  labours  in 
the  south,  than  you  have  had  in  the  north ;  and  may  you  be  encircled 
in  the  arms  of  mercy,  until  you  shall  be  called  to  receive  a  rrown  of 
glory,  where  sorrow  and  pain  can  reach  you  no  more — I  hope  my 
Boul  may  be  prepared  to  meet  you  there.  Pray  much  for  me,  my 
dear  Lorenzo,  that  I  may  have  strength  to  stand  irj  my  lot,  and  be 
faithful  to  my  God :  there  is  no  time  to  loose ;  from  me  time  flies  fast 
away,  and  how  soon  1  may  he  called  to  give  an  account,  1  know  not 
— 1  would  be  ready  whether  it  is  at  midnight,  or  at  the  cock's  crow- 
ing. 

My  health  is  remarkably  good  for  me— and  my  spirits  as  good  and 
better,  than  for  some  time  past : — while  1  am  writing,  I  almost  fancy 
myself  in  the  company  of  my  Lorenzo.  O  may  our  souls  meet  at 
the  throne  of  grace,  and  find  communion  there  I  Christiana's  health 
is  much  improved  since  you  left  us, — the  rest  of  the  family  are  well. 
Dear  father  is  still  feeble,  but  is  able  to  work  in  his  shop  considerably  ; 
we  have  not  heard  from  Vermont,  since  your  departure;  there  has 
r.othing  taken  place  worth  mentioning,  in  a  family  point  of  view — 


150  VICISSITUDES  IN 

remember  me  to  all  you  may  meet,  with  whom  1  have  had  an  ac 
quaintance. 

Adieu,  my  ever  dear  Lorenzo! 

PEGGV  DOW. 
•  November  27th,  1817. 


Mt  vehy  Dear  Lorekzo, 

Vour  lettera  arrived  this  day  ;  which  gave  me  pleasure  and  pain. 
Real  satiBfaction  to  find  your  health  is  in  some  measure  restored,  and 
that  your  soul  is  kept  in  peace!  sweet  peace!  It  is  more  desirable 
than  gold  !  yea,  than  fine  gold  !  It  will  support  our  souls  when  earthly 
treasures  fail. — But  1  felt  somewhat  pained  to  find  it  confirmed,  that 
you  have  serious  ii-tention  of  again  encountering  the  dangers  of  the 
'as,  and  perhaps  far  greater  on  the  other  side—  but  your  letter  from 
Baltimore,  in  a  considerable  degree  prepared  my  mind  for  this — I 
could  not  tell  whether  your  state  of  health  was  such,  as  to  give  you 
reason  to  think  you  should  shortly  bid  adieu  to  all  thins;8  below  the 
Bun  :  or  you  should  visit  foreign  lands. 

I  have  no  cause  to  think  you  forget  your  poor  Peggy— but  1 
believe  you  have  a  work  to  do ;  and  I  also  remember  the  contract,  as 
well  as  you.  1  do  not  feel  in  my  heart,  to  hold  you  back  from  doing 
your  duty,  if  1  could.  It  would  be  truly  a  comfort  to  me  to  have 
your  company— the  greatest  of  an  earthly  nature;  but  not  at  the 
expense  of  your  peace  of  mind.        *  ♦  *  *  * 

♦  ♦♦*♦♦*♦ 

Our  dear  father  has  been  very  unwell — but  is  better:  Ire  does  not 
forget  you.  It  appears  to  be  a  great  comfort  to  him,  that  you  are  in 
a  good  cause,  pursuing  the  road  to  peace  and  happiness ; — he  often 
says  he  should  be  glad  to  see  you,  but  has  this  consolation :  if  you 
are  called  from  the  stage  of  action,  he  has  reason  to  hope  your  toils 
and  troubles  will  be  at  an  end.  The  family  are  well.  Christiana  has 
got  her  health  tolerable  again — my  health  is  as  good,  or  better,  than 
when  you  left  us. 

1  strive  to  leave  all  to  the  disposal  of  the  Master;  praying  that 
peace  and  prosperity  may  attend  you,  whether  on  the  briny  deep,  or 
HI  foreign  lands  ;  for  he  is  a  sure  tower  to  all  that  put  their  tru«t  in 
him.  My  soul's  desire  and  prayer  to  God  is,  that  I  may  be  a  living 
witness  for  him,  in  life  and  death. 

This  is  the  first  day  of  another  year ;  but  what  will  take  place 
before  the  close  with  us,  is  only  known  to  Him  who  has  the  issues  of 
life  and  death — may  he  direct  our  steps ;  and  if  either  of  us,  or  any 
of  the  family  shall  be  called  to  quit  this  mortal  life,  may  we  close  the 
same  in  peace.    Adieu,  my  Lorenzo, 

I  hope  to  meet  you  there,  if  no  more  here. 

PEGGV  DOW. 

January  Ist,  1818. 


THE  WILDERNESS.  151 

DxAs  Lorenzo, 

1  take  my  pen  again  to  converse  with  you,  this  being  the  only 
way  we  communicate  our  thoughts  to  each  other,  when  separated  by 
rivers  and  mountains  ;  and  1  esteem  it  a  precious  privilege.  1  have 
much  cause  to  adore  the  beneficent  hand  of  Providence  for  his  mercy 
to  u8-ward,  although  we  have  our  trials, — yet  he  mixes  mercy  with 
them.  He  has  of  late  given  me  some  tokens  for  good, — my  heart 
has  been  enabled  to  rejoice  in  his  love,  in  a  considerable  degree. — 
At  a  meeting  a  few  nights  ago,  when  Methodists  and  Presbyterians 
were  united,  and  there  was  an  union  in  my  heart  to  all  the  dear 
children  of  my  Master,  1  have  felt  more  strength  to  say  in  my  heart, 
"the  will  of  the  Lord  be  done."  1  think  yesterday,  my  desire  to 
God  was  if  it  would  be  more  for  his  glory,  for  you  to  return  in  a  few 
weeks,  you  might,  if  not,  so  let  it  be— GO,  MY  LORENZO,  THE 
WAY  YOU  ARE  ASSURED  THE  LORD  CALLS;  and  if  we 
meet  no  more  in  this  vale  of  tears,  may  God  prepare  us  to  meet  in 
the  realms  of  peace,  to  range  the  blest  fields  on  the  banks  of  the  river, 
and  sing  hallelujah,  for  ever  and  ever.  1  am  very  sure  if  1  reach 
safe  the  destined  port,  1  shall  have  cause  to  sing.  1  trust  the  Lord 
who  has  called  you  to  leave  all,  will  give  you  a  rich  reward :  in 
this  world,  precious  souls,  and  in  the  world  to  come,  a  crown  of  glory. 
1  have  seen  brother  Tarbox  since  his  return — nothing  has  taken 
place  new.  You  have  been  accustomed  to  similar  treatment — may 
you  have  patience  and  true  philanthrophy  of  heart, — that  is  most 
desirable.  You  cannot  conclude,  1  think,  from  what  1  have  written, 
that  1  would  not  rejoice  to  see  you  return,  if  it  would  be  consistent 
with  the  will  of  God;  but  1  would  desire,  above  all  things  not  to  be 
found  fighting  against  him.  Your  father  and  myself  are  as  well  as 
wa  may  expect,  considering  our  iniirmities.  My  health  has  been 
better  than  when  you  left  me,  for  some  past.  ♦  »         .    » 

♦  ♦  My  dc&r  Lorenzo,  1  bid  adieu  once  more ;  may 

the  Lord  return  you  to  you|y)oor  Peggy  again.    1  have  written  five 
times  before  this.  ^  PEGGY  DOW. 

January  22d,  1818, 


Returned  to  my  Ps^ggy,  about  3d  Mareh,  at  my  father's,  in  Hebron, 
Connecticut,  and  parted  about  5th  May,  for  Europe ;  and  sailed  from 
New  York  on  the  20th,  in  the  ship  Alexander  Mansfield,  for  Liver- 

Kool,  where  1  arrived  about  the  18th  of  June,  and  in  a  few  weeks 
ope  to  receive  Jetters  from  her. 

LORENZO  DOW. 
Liverpool,  July  27th,  1818. 


#12 


AN  ACCOUNT 
Of  the  closing  Scenes  in  the  Life  of  PEGGY  DOW. 


BY  LORENZO  DOW. 


After  my  return  from  Virginia  a  few  weeks,  leaving 
her  with  my  father,  we  parted,  and  I  sailed  for  England, 
May  20th,  and  arrived  there  about  the  20th  of  June,  1818. 

Whilst  travelling  in  that  country,  many  persons  in  dif- 
ferent parts,  who  were  strangers  to  me,  remarked  that 
they  thought  from  their  feelings,  that  my  Peggy  would 
be  gone  off  from  the  stage  of  action,  so  that  I  would  see 
her.  no  more,  unless  I  returned  to  America  soon  ! 

Their  feelings  were  so  consonant  to  my  own  anticipa- 
tions, that  it  caused  my  return  a  year  sooner  than  was 
contemplated  when  we  parted. 

Arrived  back  to  America  in  June,  1819,  after  an  absence 
of  ahout  thirteen  months. 

She  had  attended  a  writing  school  in  my  absence,  in 
February;  and  getting  wet  and  chilled,  took  cold — and 
hence  a  cough  and  tightness  across  the  chest,  and  thence 
a  decline  ensued. 

However,  the  subject  was  not  viewed  as  serious  at  the 
first,  as  the  sequel  afterwards  proved  to  be. 

She  travelled  with  me  some  distance  to  various  meet- 
ings ;  and  when  we  were  at  Providence,  in  Rhode  Island, 
I  found  her  in  a  room  weeping — on  enquiring  the  cause, 
she,  after  some  hesitation,  replied,  "  The  consumption  is 
a  flattering  disease  ! — but  I  shall  return  back  to  Hebron^ 
and  tell  Father  Dow  that  I  have  come  back  to  die  with 
him !" 

After  my  return  from  Europe,  she  requested  me  not  to 


THE  WILDERNESS.  153 

Ifeave  her,  till  she  had  got  better  or  worse— which  request 
she  had  never  made  at  any  time,  under  any  circumstances 
in  former  years  whatever. 

We  returned  in  September.  She  remarked  that  she 
felt  more  comfort  in  Divine  enjoyment  than  she  express- 
ed to  others — and  that  her  "  death  might  be  sanctified 

TO  SOME." 

We  never  parted  but  twice  after  my  return  from 
Europe — once  for  a  night,  and  once  on  business  to  Bos- 
ton of  about  five  days. 

She  continued  growing  more  and  more  feeble,  until  in 
December,  when  she  asked  if  I  thought  her  dissolution 
was  near  ?  The  reply  to  which,  was  an  opinion,  that 
she  would  continue  until  spring,  if  not  longer. 

She  replied  that  she  thought  so  too ;  but  the  night  fol- 
lowing, she  awoke  me  up,  and  enquired  the  time  of  the 
month? — and  being  informed,  she  said  that  she  thought 
she  was  bounded  in  ail  by  the  month  of  January. 

Counted  every  day  until  the  year  expired,  and  then 
almost  every  hour,  until  the  morning  of  the  fifth,  when 
she  asked  me  if  I  had  been  to  bespeak  a  Coffin  for  her? 
But  was  answered  in  the  negative ; — when  in  the  evening, 
she  enquired  if  I  had  been  to  call  in  the  neighbours  ?  I 
answered,  No!  But  brother  and  sister  Page  came  in  and 
spent  the  night,  which  seemed  refreshing  to  her;  and 
with  whom  we  had  spent  many  happy  hours  in  days  that 
were  gone  by ! 

About  two  o'clock  at  night,  she  requested  me  to  call  up 
the  family,  which  being  done;  she  soon  began  to  fail 
very  fast. 

Being  asked  if  she  felt  any  pain?  She  answered 
in  the  negative— and  that  but  one  thing  attracted  her 
here  below — pointing  her  finger  towards  me  as  supported 
in  my  arms.  When  I  replied,  Lord,  Thou  gavest  her  to 
me !  I  have  held  her  only  as  a  lent  favour  for  fifteen 
years !  and  now  I  resign  her  back  to  Thee,  until  we  meet 
again  beyond  the  swelling  flood !  She  replied  with  a 
hearty  "  Amen."  and  soon  expired,  as  the  going  out  of  a 
snuff  of  a  candle,  without  a  struggle,  contraction  or  groan! 

In  the  course  of  convecsation  the  last  night — her  views 
and  attachments  to  the  things  of  time  and  eternity — 
she  replied  that  she  felt  no  condemnation,  and  that  but 


154  VICISSITUDES  IN 

one  thing  attracted  her  here  below,  that  was  hard  to  give 
up;  but  that  she  felt  willing  to  resign  herself  into  the 
hands  of  the  Great  and  Wise  Disposer,  for  the  things  of 
eternity  were  far  more  desirable  than  the  things  of  time ; 
for  her  better  prospects  were  beyond  this  life,  and  there 
appeared  to  be  a  calm  and  sweet  submission  ! 

By  my  request,  she  was  dressed  and  laid  out  in  her 
best  plain,  neat  meeting  dresSj  with  woollen  blankets, 
instead  of  shrouded  sheets.  Her  grave  was  about  three 
feet  below  tke  common  depth — her  funeral  was  attended 
by  a  large  concourse  of  people — the  sermon  was  delivered 
by  Daniel  Burrows,  a  particular  friend,  who  had  visited 
her  frequently  in  her  last  sickness. 

Many  had  said  L.  D.  was  eccentric,  and  that  it  was 
now  exemplified  !  But  such,  still  admitted  that  the  dress 
became  impressive  on  the  occasion ;  and  also  the  colour 
of  the  coffin  too.  It  was  a  solemn,  serious  and  impressive 
time ! 

Woollen  does  not  rot  like  some  other  things ! — and  the 
sacred  dust,  I  wished  to  repose  (undisturbed  in  ages  to 
come,  by  future  moving  of  the  earth  for  the  dead,)  until- 
"  The  Trump  of  God  shall  sound  !" 

What  God  said  to  Ezekiel,  "  Behold  I  take  away  the 
desire  of  thine  eyes  icith  a  stroke.''^  January  6th,  1820, 
were  exemplified,  as  with  a  sword  through  my  soul ;  for 
the  impression  of  the  words,  were  as  a  dispensation  of 
preparation,  some  few  years  antecedent  to  the  time. 

This  is  a  subject  that  may  be  felt,  but  cannot  be  de- 
scribed !  Those  who  have  drank  the  cup,  know  the  Ian* 
guage — to  others,  it  is  but  a  dream  ! 

She  possessed  exquisite  feelings  of  sensibility,  but  there 
was  affection  and  condescension.  Hence  the  sequel  upon 
the  Journey  of  Life,  as  agreeable  consequences  for  'peace  in 
a  married  state  I  But  where  there  is  a  want  of  Love,  affec- 
tion, and  an  attachment,  there  is  a  Cause  of  misery,  mis- 
chief and  unhappiness  of  many  families  ! 

Love  and  affection  cannot  be  bought ;  they  are  above 
rubies — yea,  beyond  all  price,  when  applied  to  the  mar- 
ried state ! 

The. following  was  put  upon  her  tomb  stone,  in  the 
Methodist  Burying  Ground,  in  Hebron,  Connecticut,  ten 
years  after;—  ^ 


THE  WILDERNESS.  165 

"  PEGGY  DOW 
Shared  the  VicisaiTUDES  of  Lorenzo 

FIFTEEN  YEARS, 

And  died  January  Qthj  1820, 

AGED  39." 

Seventeen  years  before  this,  I  lost  my  Mother,  and  two 
years  and  eight  months  after  the  decease  of  Peggy,  my 
Father  died.  Six  of  us  children  are  still  living ;  and  out 
of  28  grand-children,  16  are  still  on  mortal  shore  I 

It  is  now  March,  1833,  which  brings  me  to  the  age  of 
65  years  and  five  months  ;  and  40  years  and  4  months  of 
my  religious  pilgrimage  ;  and  37  years  in  the  public  Jield 
of  battle,  wandering  through  the  world  ! 

My  Peggy  is  gone  to  meet  our  Infant  in  yonder  world, 
where  I  trust  to  meet  them  both  by  and  bye — which  is  a 
»weet  and  pleasing  thought  to  me!  L.  D. 


■    r 

I  5 


12* 


TO  THE  YOUNG  READER. 


There  is  not  any  subject  that  can  engage  your  atten- 
tion of  more  importance  than  Marriage^  except  the  sal- 
vation of  the  soul.  Your  peace  for  time  depends  upon  it, 
and,  in  a  great  measure,  your  eternity  is  connected  with 
it ;  though  it  be  treated  as  a  novel  in  a  romantic  way,  and 
even  most  young  people  cannot  hear  the  word  "  Matri- 
mony" mentioned,  without  exhibiting  levity  in  their  coun- 
tenances, which  shows  how  little  they  realize  the  subject, 
and  in  what  a  trifling  manner  they  view  it.  If  a  man 
have  a  farm,  and  don't  like  it,  he  can  sell  it,  and  procure 
another;  if  he  have  a  house,  and  don't  like  it,  he  can  pull 
it  down,  and  build  another.  But  this  is  for  life!  It  is 
indeed  one  of  the  most  important  concerns  of  life.  Hence, 
act  honorably,  and  discreetly,  in  the  fear  of  God ;  and 
take  him  for  your  counsellor,  that  you  may  enjoy  his  fa- 
vour, and  thereby  secure  his  protection. 

LORENZO  DOW. 


REFLECTIONS 

ON 

MATRIMONY. 


TWELTH  EDITION,  WITH  ADDITIONS. 


Marriage  is  honourable  in  all,  and  the  bed  undefiled. 
But  Whoremongers  and  Adidterers  God  will  judge. 

Heb.  xiii.  4. 


Various  are  the  opinion/i  with  regard  to  the  subject 
before  us.  Some  people  tell  us  it  is  not  lawful  for  men 
and  women  to  marry,  and  argue  thus  to  prove  it ;  "  It  is 
living  after  the  flesh ;  they  that  live  after  the  flesh  shall 
die,  (by  which  is  meant  separation  from  God,)  therefore 
they  who  live  together  as  husband  and  wife  shall  die." — 
Now  the  premises  hemg  wrong,  the  conclusion  is  wrong 
of  necessity ;  for  living  together  as  husband  and  wife  is 
not  living  after  the  flesh,  but  after  God's  ordinance:  as  is 
evident  from  Matt.  xix.  4,  5,  6. — "And  he  answered, 

AND  SAID  UNTO  TKEM  HAVE  YE  NOT  READ  THAT  HE  WHICH 
MADE  THEM  AT  THE  BEGINNING  MADE  THEM  MALE  AND 
FEMALE,  AND  SAID,  FOR  THIS  CAUSE  SHALL  A  MAN  LEAVE 
FATHER  AND  MOTHER,  AND  SHALL  CLEAVE  TO  HIS  WIFE  J  AND 
THEY  TWAIN  SHALL  BE  ONE  FLESH  ?  WhEREFORE,  THEY 
ARE  NO  MORE  TWAIN,  BUT  ONE  FLESH.  WhAT,  THEREFORE, 
God,  HATH  JOINED    TOGETHER,  LET   NO   MAN  PUT    ASUNDER." 

In  these  words  Christ,  our  great  lawgiver,  refers  to 
Gen.  ii.  24;  which  at  once  proves,  that  the  paradisiacal 
institution  is  not  abrogated.  From  the  beginning  of  the 
world  until  the  words  of  the  text  were  written,  people 
lived  together  as  husband  and  wife,  and  had  divine  appro- 
bation in  so  doing :  as  is  easily  prowd  from  the  word  or 


158  REFLECTIONS  ON 

God.  Some  people  have  an  idea  we  cannot  be  as  Ao/jf 
in  a  married  as  in  a  single  state.  But  hark !  Enoch 
walked  with  God  after  he  begat  Methuselah,  three  hun- 
dred years,  and  begat  sons  and  daughters  *  Gen.  v.  22. 
Heb.  xi.  5.  Now  if  Enoch  under  that  dark  dispensation 
could  serve  God  in  a  married  slate,  and  be  fit  for  transla- 
tion from  earth  to  heaven,  why  not  another  person  be 
equally  pious^  and  be  filled  with  "righteousness,  and 
peace,  and  joy  in  the  Holy  Ghost"  under  the  Gospel  dis- 
pensation ?  according  to  Rom.  xiv.  17.  But  admitting  it 
is  right  for  common  peeple  to  marry, — Is  it  right  for  the 
CLERGY  to  marry  ?  Answer — I  know  that  too  many  think 
it  is  not,  and  are  ready  to  conclude,  that  whenever  "  a 
'preacher  marries,  he  is  backslidden  from  God:"  hence 
the  many  arguments  made  use  of  by  some  to  prevent  it. 
When  I  hear  persons  who  are  wamerf  trying  to  dissuade 
others  from  marrying",  I  infer  one  of  two  things:  that 
they  are  either  unhappy  in  their  marriage,  else  they 
enjoy  a  blessing  which  tney  do  not  wish  others  to  partake 
of.  The  CHURCH  OF  ROME  havc  an  idea  that  the  Pope  is 
St.  Peter's  successor,  and  that  the  clergy  ought  not  to 
tnarry.  But  I  would  ask,  if  it  was  lawful  for  St.  Peter 
to  have  a  wife,  why  not  lawful  for  another  priest  or 
PREACHER  to  havc  oiit?  But  have  we  any  proof  that 
Peter  had  a  wife?  In  Matt.  viii.  and  14.  we  read  as  fol- 
lows :  "  And  when  Jesus  was  come  into  Peter^s  hxmsty 
he  saw  his  wife's  mother  laid,  and  sick  of  a  fever."  Now, 
how  could  Peter's  wife^s  mother  be  sick  of  a  fever,  pro- 
vided he  had  no  wife  ?  and  as  we  have  no  account  that 
Christ  parted  Peter  and  his  wife,  I  infer  that  he  lived 
with  her  after  his  call  to  the  apostleship,  according  to 
Rom.  vii.  2.  for  "  the  woman  which  hath  an  husband  is 


♦  Whoevor  will  reflect,  1.  on  the  command  iu  Paradise;  2.  the 
prontiees  in  the  ten  commaudmente ;  3.  that  Samuel  was  the  answer 
of  prayer,  and  proved  a  blessing  to  society  ;  4.  that  although  all  per- 
sons by  nature  have  an  equal  chance,  yet  the  influence  of  example 
is  to  be  taken  into  account ;  5.  the  blessings  that  Grod  may  bestow  aa 
a  treasure  from  his  goodness,  in  answer  to  sincere  obedience  and 
praver;  and,  6.  the  honour  of  being  born  of  truly  pious  parents  is 
matter  ot  Joy  and  gratitude ;  for  who  arc,  or  can  be  filter  instruments 
t«  add  to  the  number  of  the  heavenly  host? 


MATRIMONY.  I5fi| 

BOUND  by  the  law  to  her  husband  so  long  as  he  liveth;" 
now  if  iPeter's  wife  was  "  bound^^  to  him,  how  could  he 
go  off  and  leave  her,  as  some  people  think  he  did  1  The 
words  of  the  text  are,  "  marriage  is  honourable  in  all." — 
But  how  could  it  be  honourable  in  all,  if  it  were  dis- 
honovjrabh  in  the  'priestly  order  ?  For  they  forming  a 
part,  of  course  are  included  in  the  word  A  double  L.  In 
the  first  epistle  written  by  St.  Paul  to  Timothy,  (iv.)  we 
read  thus  :  "  Now  the  Spirit  speaketh  expressly,  that  in 
the  latter  times  some  shall  depart  from  the  faith,  giving 
heed  to  seducing  spirits  and  doctrines  of  devils  ;  speaking 
lies  in  hypocrisy  ;  having  their  conscience  seared  with  a 
hot  iron  ;  forbidding'  to  marry,  and  commanding  to  ab- 
stain from  meats,  which  God  hath  created  to  be  received 
with  thanksgiving  of  them  which  believe  and  know  the 
truth."  Observe,  forbidding  to  marry  is  a  doctrine  of 
devils,  therefore  not  of  divine  origin  ;  of  course  not  to  be 
obeyed,  for  we  are  under  no  obligation  to  obey  the  devils  ; 
but  in  opposition  to  them,  to  enjoy  all  the  benefits  of 
divine  institutions.  Marriage  is  a  divine  institution, 
therefore  the  benefits  of  matrimony  may  be  enjoyed  by 
them  that  believe  and  know  the  truth.  Having  briefly,  but 
fully  shown,  that  matrimony  is  lawful,  I  shall  proceed  to 
elucidate  the  words  of  my  text,  or  motto.  In  doing  which, 
I  shall. 

First,  Show  what  matrimony  is  not. 

Secondly,  What  it  is.  , 

Thirdly,  Point  out  some  of  the  causes  of  unhappy 
marriages,  and  conclude  with  a  few  words  of  advice. 

Resuming  the  order  proposed,  I  come  in  the  first  {)lace 
to  show  what  matrimony  is  not. 

1st.  Two  persons  of  the  same  gender  dressed  in  the 
garb  of  the  sexes,  deceive  a  magistrate  or  minister,  and 
have  the  ceremony  performed,  which  is  no  marriage,  but 
downright  wickedness,  which  some  have  audaciously 
been  goilty  of.  ^ 

2d.  There  are  certain  beings  in  the  world  in  human 
shape,  and  dress  in  the  garb  of  one  of  the  sexes,  but  at 
the  same  time  are  not  properly  masculine  nor  feminine ; 
of  course  not  marriageable.  They  enter  into  matrimonial 
engagements  with  persons  of  one  of  the  sexes,  and  the 
formal  ceremony  is  performed;   this  is  not  matrimony, 


160  REFLECTIONS  ON 

but  an  iroposffion  ;  forasrauch  as  the  desig^n  of  matrimony 
cannot  be  answered  thereby. 

3d.  Sometimes  a  banditti  catch  two  persons  and  com- 
pel them;  eereraonially  to  marry  at  the  point  of  the  sword, 
to  saye  their  lives ;  but  this  is  not  matrfraony :  for  it  is 
neither  samertioned  by  laws  divine  or  human ;  neither  are 
they  obligated  by  such  laws  to  live  together. 

4th.  Some  men  hare  a  pluralrty  of  Avomen,  but  they 
cannot  be  married  to  them  afi ;  if  the  first  mfanriage  was 
lawful,  the  other  arc  ko£,  '^'^for  two,"  sarfh  he,  (not  three) 
"  shall  be  one  ffesh  f  moreover,  when  two  persbos  enter 
into  marriage,  they  promise  to  forsake  all  others,  and  be- 
true  to  each  other  wbiJe  thay  both  shall  live ;  therefore 
are  not  at  liberty  to  have  any  thing  to  do  with  other  per- 
sons. 

5th.  Sometimes  persons  who  are  married  without  just 
cause,  leave  their  companion,  take  up  with  another  per- 
son, and  live  with  him  or  her:  this  is  not  matrimony,  bat 
adultery  ;  and  all  such  persons  may  expect  to  meet  with 
God's  disapprobation  in  eternity ;  "  for  such  shall  not 
inherit  the  Kingdom  of  God." 

6th,  Two  persons  living  together  as  husband  and  ^-/ife, 
and  yet  feeling  at  liberty  to  forsake  the  present,  and  em- 
brace another  object  at  pleasure — this  is  not  matrimony, 
but  whoredom:  and  "  whoremongers  and  adulterers  God 
will  judge."  Yet  we  may  here  observe :  in  many  parts 
of  the  world,  the  political  state  of  affairs  is  sucn,  that 
two  persons  may  live  together  by  mutual  consent  as  hus- 
band und  wife,  where  there  is  no  formal  ceremony  per- 
formed, and  yet  be  justified  before  God :  which  was  the 
case  Tvith  the  Jews,  (instance  also  if  some  were  ca:it 
away  upon  an  island ;)  but  this  is  aoi  the  case  in  Ame~ 
rica,  except  among  the  coloured  people,  or  heathen  tribes^ 
as  will  be  more  fully  shown  under  the  aext  head — in 
which  I  am  to  show, 

Secondly,  What  matrimony  is. 

Some  pweople  believe  in  u  decree,  (eomnionly  called  a 
lottery,)  viz.  That  Gad  has  determined  in  all  cases,  that 
l^artieular  men  and  women  should  be  married  to  each 
other;  and  that  it  is  impossible  they  should  marry  any 
other  person.  But  I  say,  hush !  for  if  that  be  the  case, 
then  God  apppints  all  matches  %  but  I  believe  the  devil 


MATRIMONY*  161 

appoints  a  great  many ;  for  if  God  did  it,  then  it  would 
be  done  in  wisdom,  and  of  course  it  would  be  done  right; 
if  so,  there  would  not  be  so  many  unhappy  marriages  in 
the  world  as  what  ther<e  are.  If  one  man  steals  or  runs 
away  with  another  man^s  wife^  goes  into  a  strange  coun- 
try, and  there  marries  he?-^  did  God  decree  that  ?  What 
made  God  Almighty  so  angry  with  the  Jews  for  marrying 
into  heathen  families  ;  and  why  did  the  prophet  Nehe- 
miah  contend  with  them,  curse  them,  pIucK  off  their  hair, 
and  make  them  swear  that  they  would  not  give  their 
daughters  to  the  Ammonites,  &c.  as  we  read  in  the  13th 
chapter  of  Nehemiah,  if  God  appointed  such  matches? 
Agam,  why  did  John  the  Baptist  exclaim  so  heavily 
against  Herod,  for  having  his  brother  Philip's  wife  ?  If 
it  was  necessary,  he  could  Hot  help  it ;  therefore  John 
talked  very  foolishly  when  he  said  it  was  not  lawful,  for 
that  was  to  say  it  was  not  lawful  to  do  what  God  had 
decreed  should  be  done.  Notwithstanding  I  do  not  belieye 
in  lottery,  (so  called,)  yet  I  believe*  that  persons  who  are 
under  the  influence  of  divine  g'race,  may  have  a  guide  to 
direct  them  to>  a  person  suitable  to  make  them  a  com- 
panion, with  whom  they  may  live  agreeably  :  but  this 
can  only  be  done  by  having  pure  intentions,  paying  parti- 
cular attention  to  the  influence  of  the  Divine  Spirit  within 
and  the  opening  of  Providence  without ;  being  careful 
not  to  run  so  fast  as  to  outrun  your  guide,  nor  yet  to  move 
so  slow  as  to  lose  sight  thereof. 

But  to  return : — Marriage  consists  in  agreements  of  par- 
lies, in  union  of  heart,  and  a  promise  of  fidelity  to  each 
other  before  God;  "forasmuch  as  he  looketh  at  the  heart, 
and  judgeth  according  to  intention." — 1  Sam.  xvi.  7.  As 
there  is  such  a  thing  as  for  persons  morally  to  commit 
adultery  in  the  sight  of  God,  who  never  actually  did  so, 
Matt.  v.  28,  so  persons  may  be  married  in  his  sight,  who 


♦  I  apprehend  that  every  person  who  is  mafriageoble,  and  whose 
duty  it  IS  to  marry — there  is  a  particular  object  they  oueht  to  have ; 
— but  1  believe  it  poesible  for  them  to  miBs  that  object,  an3  be  connect- 
ed with  one  that  is  improper  for  them — one  cause  of  bo  many  unhappy 
families,  f;^  There  is  a  providence  attending  virtue,  and  a  curse 
attending  vice ! 


103  REFLECTIONS  ON 

never  had  the  formal  ceremony  performed.  Obserrey 
marriage  is  a  divine  institution ;  was  ordained  by  God  in 
the  time  of  man's  innocency,  and  sanctioned  by  Jesus 
Christ  under  the  gospel ;  he  graced  a  marriage  feast  in 
Cana  of  Galilee,  where  he  turned  water  into  wine,  John 
ii.  h  Now,  that  marriage  consists  not  barely  in  the  out- 
ward ceremony  is  evident ;  for  this  may  be  performed  on 
two  persons  of  either  sex,  and  yet  no  marriage  j  for  the 
benefits  resulting  from  marriage,  cannot  be  enjoyed 
through  such  a  medium.  If  matrimony  is  the  formal 
sentence,  who  married  Adam  and  Evei  and  what  was 
the  ceremony  by  which  they  were  constituted  husband 
and  wife?  But  if  Adam  and  Eve  were  married  without 
a  formal  ceremony,  then  something  else  is  matrimony  in 
the  sight  of  God :  of  jcourse,  it  must  be  an  agreement  of 

{>arties  as  above,  Yet  it  is  necessary  to  attend  to  the 
aws  of  our  country,  and  have  a  formal  ceremony  per- 
formed, K^  which  is  the  EVIDENCE  of  MATRI- 
MONY ! !  For  we  are  commanded  to  "  be  subject  to 
every  ordinance  of  man,  for  the  Lord's  sake,"  1  Peter  ii. 
13.  St.  Paul  saith — "  Let  every  soul  be  subject  unto  the 
higher  powers,  for  there  is  no  power  but  of  God ;  the 
powers  that  be,  are  ordained  by  God.  Whosoever,  there- 
fore, resisteth  the  power,  resisteth  the  ordinance  of  God : 
and  they  that  resist  shall  receive  to  themselves  damna- 
tion," Rom.  xiii.  1,  2.  Moreover,  without  this  outward 
evidence  it  cannot  be  known  who  are  married  and  who 
are  not;  so  that  men  could  leave  their  wives  and  children 
to  suffer;  deny  they  ever  engaged  to  live  with  such 
women,  and  having  no  proof  thereof,  they  could  not  be 
compelled  by  any  law  to  provide  for  such  women  abd 
children.  Once  more,  unless  the  law  is  complied  with, 
the  woman  cannot  be  considered  as  his  lawful  wife,  (for 
what  makes  her  his  lawful  wife,  is  compliance  with  the 
law,)  of  course  the  children  are  not  lawful ;  then  it  fol- 
lows they  are  adulterers  and  adulteresses ;  else  fornicators 
and  fornicatresses  ;  their  children  are  illegitimate ;  and 
after  the  death  of  the  man,  the  woman  and  children  can- 
not heir  his  estate,  if  he  dies  without  a  will.* 

♦  A  Lawyer  attempted  to  diBinherit  some  quaker  ehildreo,  pleading 
that  they  were  illegitimate,  because  their  parents  were  not  married 


MATRIMONY.  163 

Q,ueslion.  If  two  persons  contract  for  marriage,  and 
have  p'edged  their  fidelity  to  each  other  before  God,  are 
they  justifiable  in  breaking  that  marriage  contract  ? 

Answer.  If  one  has  acted  the  part  of  an  impostor, 
told  lies,  and  deceived  the  other,  this  is  not  marriage,  but 
an  imposition  ;  of  course  the  person  so  imposed  on  is 
justifiable  in  rejecting  such  deceiver!  But  it'  they  both 
make  statements  in  truth,  are  acquainted  with  each 
other's  character,  dispositions,  practices,  and  principles, 
and  then,  being  in  possession  of  such  information,  volun- 
tarily engage  before  God  to  live  together  as  man  and 
wife,  unless  something  wicked,  more  than  was  or  could 
be  reasonably  expected,  transpires  relative  to  one  or  the 
other  of  the  two  persons  so  engaged ;  Ix^  the  person 
who  breaks  such  contract  cannot  be  justifiable  oefore 
God  !  For  I  think  I  have  clearly  proved  such  contract 
to  fee  marriage  in  his  sight;  and  Christ  saith,  "whoso- 
ever shall  put  away  his  wife  except  it  be  for  fornication, 
and    shall   marry   another,   commilteth   adultery  ;*    ana 


bv  a  priest.  The  question  arose  from  his  competitor.  From  whom 
or  from  whence,  did  tlie  clergy  derive  their  authority  to  give  iudulfi- 
eiice  of  marriag-e  to  some,  and  wiilihold  it  from  otiiers?  The  judge 
replied,  the  doctrine  proves  too  much, — it  proves  tliot  we  are  all 
illegitimate  ;  for  I  recollect  reading  of  a  marriage  in  Paradise,  and 
no  priest  there  to  celebrate  it !  Hence  it  became  a  national  question, 
and  part  of  the  civil  code,  instead  of  pure  ecclesiastical.  There 
never  was  a  spiritual  court  in  the  United  btates,  nor  any  Bac<-lebag- 
gars,  under  tlie  Popish  idea  of  "  order  and  succession."  Here  a, 
qtiestion  will  arise,  with  regard  to  the  policy  or  justice  of  a  man's 
keepipg  a  woman,  who  wa.s  virtuous  when  he  took  her,  and  felie 
rernairta-trtTictfy  true  to  him;  and,  after  having  retained  her  in  keep' 
ina^  a  number  of  years,  she  also  having  had  children  by  hiu;,  he  is 
still  at  liberty  to  fling  her  off,  and  bastardize  their  oftspring  I  lii 
Spanish  Florida,  if  a  man  and  woman  live  together  ten  days,  as 
husband  and  wite, — if  he  die,  she  will  be  allowed  to  claim  her  part, 
(i.  e.  a  wife's  part,)  of  his  projierty. 

*  Now,  it  appears  furthermore,  that  the  Jews  considered  a  mutual 
contract  as  above— Jlarriages  are  sacred  ;  as  is  evident  from  Deut. 
xxii.  22.  28.  "If  a  damsel  that  is  a  virgin  be  betrothed  unto  a  hus- 
band, and  a  man  tind  her  in  a  city,  and  lie  with  her,  then  ye  shall 
bring  them  both  out  into  the  gate  of  that  city ;  and  ye  shall  stone 
them  with  atones  that  they  die  ;  the  damsel  because  she  cried  not, 
being  in  the  city,  and  the  man  because  he  humbled  his  neighbour's 
13  . 


164  REFLECTIONS  ON 

who  so  marrieth  her  which  is  put  away  ("for  fornica- 
tion,") doth  commit  adultery,"  Matt.  xix.  9.  From  this 
passage  it  is  evident,  that  for  the  cause  of  fornication,  a 
man  may  put  away  his  wife,  marry  another,  and  yet  be 
justifiable  in  the  eye  of  the  divine  law.  Moreover,  if  a 
man  puts  away  his  wife  for  any  other  cause  save  fornica- 
tion, «fcc.  and  utterly  refuseth  to  live  with  her,  she  is  at 
liberty  to  marry,  but  he  is  not.  This  I  think  is  what  St. 
Paul  meaneth  in  1  Cor.  vii.  15.  "  but  if  the  unbelieving  de- 
part let  him  depart ;  a  brother  or  sister  is  not  under  bond- 
age in  such  cases,"  i.  e.  they  are  free  from  the  law,  for 
that  is  what  they  were  bound  by  ;  of  course,  at  liberty  to 
marry  again,  for  the  innocent  are  not  to  suffer  for  the 
guilty.  Admitting  the  above  to  be  correct,  how  many 
such  adulterers  and  adultresses  there  are  in  the  world  ! — 
And  what  a  dreadful  account  will  thousands  have  to  give 
in  the  day  of  eternity,  for  the  violation  of  their  most  sa- 
cred promises  ! !  But  one  is  ready  to  say,  I  was  not  sin- 
cere when  I  made  those  promises.  Then  you  dissembled 
to  deceive,  and  told  lies*  to  ensnare  the  innocent ;  like 


wife."  Wo^v,  observe,  the  woman  is  styled  a  virgin,  and  yet  a  man's 
wife,  because  she  was  betrothed ;  that  is,  engaged  to  him  by  solemn 
contract.  Take  notice,  the  punishment  inflicted  on  such  as  broke 
their  marriage  contract  was  death — whereas  there  was  no  such 
punishment  inflicted  on  those  who  were  not  betrothed ;  as  you  may 
read  in  the  same  chapter,  verse  28,  29.  Why  this  difference  in  their 
punishment?  Answer.  Because  the  crime  was  aggravated  by  the 
violation  of  the  marriage  contract.  God  is  the  same  in  justice  now, 
that  he  was  then  ;  and  crimes  are  not  less  under  the  gospel  thiAi  they 
were  under  the  law.     "Let  them  that  read  understand," 

In  the  gospel  as  recorded  by  St.  Matthew,  this  is  farther  verified, 
Matt.  i.  18,  19,  20,  as  exemplified  in  Mary  the  mother  of  Christ,  and 
Joseph  ;  for  before  they  came  together  she  is  styled  his  wife,  and  he 
her  husband,  f;;^  This  is  the  truth,  and  you  cannot  deny  it.  Strange 
to  think  what  numbers  in  the  world  for  the  sake  of  human  flesh  and 
a  liule  of  this  perishable  world's  goods,  will  persuade  their  friends  or 
children  to  sin  against  God  by  breaking  their  marriage  coi  tact! — 
The  Devil  can  but  tempt,  but  mortal  man  compel ! !  1  am  here 
speaking  of  contracts  where  there  is  no  lawful  objection. 

*  A  man,  (1  do  not  say  a  gentleman,)  in  the  West,  sought  the  de- 
struction of  an  innocent -and  to  accomplish  his  designs,  "wish- 
ed tliat  heaven  might  never  receive  his  soul  nor  the  earth  his  body,  if 


MATRIMONY.  '  185 

ihe  devil  when  he  transforms  himself  into  an  angel  of 
light,  and  the  greater  shall  be  your  damnation.  "For  all 
liars  shall  have  their  portion  in  the  lake  that  burns  with 
fire  and  brimstone,"  Rev.  xxi.  8.  Many  men  will  work 
an  hundred  schemes  and  tell  ten  thousand  lies  to  effect 
the  most  devilish  purposes,  and  after  their  ends  are  an- 
swered, turn  with  disdain  from  the  person  deceived  by 
them,  and  make  themselves  merry  to  think  how  they 
swept  the  pit  of  hell  to  accomplish  their  design.  "  But 
whoremongers  and  adulterers  God  will  judge  ;"  which 
brings  me  to  the  last  thing  proposed.     In  which  I  am, 

Thirdly,  To  point  out  some  of  the  causes  of  unhappy 
marriages. 

Here  I  would  observe,  that  Divine  Wisdom  hath 
ordained  marriage  for  several  important  ends.  1st.  For 
the  mutual  happiness  of  the  sexes  ih  their  journey  through 
life,  and  as  a  comfort  and  support  to  each  other.  2d.  That 
souls  may  be  propagated  agreeably  lo  the  divine  will, 
capable  of  glorifying  and  enjoying  him  for  ever.  3d. 
As  the  man  without  the  woman,  or  the  woman  without 
the  man,  is  not  in  a  capacity  to  provide  for  a  family, 
Divine  Wisdom  hath  wisely  ordained  their  mutual  aid, 
in  providing  for,  instructing,  and  protecting  offspring ;  as 
guardian  angels  who  must  give  account.  Beside  the  rea- 
son assigned  by  St.  Paul,  1  Cor.  vii.  But  to  return,  I 
would  observe,  1st.  Too  many  marry  from  lucrative 
views;  their  object  is  not  to  get  a  suitable  companion, 
who  will  sweeten  all  the  ills  of  life,  but  to  get  a  large 
fortune,  so  that  their  time  may  be  spent  in  idleness  and 
luxury  ;  that  they  may  make  a  grand  appearance  in  the 
world,  supposing  that  property  will  make  them  honoura- 
ble. This  bei«g  the  leading'  motive,  they  direct  their 
attention  to  an  object,  which,  if  it  was  not  for  property, 
would  perhaps  be  looked  upon  by  them  with  contempt ; 
and  profess  the  greatest  regard  for  the  person,  while  the 
property  is  the  object  of  their  affections.  Perhaps  the 
person  is  old  ;  the  ideas  are — "  This  old  man  or  woman 


he  did  not  perform  his  contract,"— and  afterwards  boaBled  of  his 
worseVthan  diabolical  act;  but  God  took  him  at  hie  word — for  he  wub 
shot  by  an  Indian,  and  rotted  above  ground  I 


168  *       REFLECTIONS  ON 

cannot  live  long;  then  all  will  be  mine,  and  I  shall  be  in 
such  circumstances  that  I  can  marry  to  great  advantage  ;" 
forgetting  there  are  other  people  in  the  world  just  of  their 
own  opinion !  The  contract  is  made,  the  sham  marriage 
is  performed,  there  is  a  union  of  hand  but  not  of  he.irt, 
in  consequence  of  which  they  are  not  happy  together. — 
The  deceived,  on  finding  out  the  deception,  wishes  a 
reversion  in  vain,  which  the  other  must  sensibly  feel ;  for 
sin  hath  its  own  punishment  entailed  to  it ;  therefore  the 
curse  of  God  follows  such  impure  intentions.  I  appeal 
to  those  who  have  married  from  these  incentives,  whether 
these  things  are  not  so! — 2d.  Some  people  take  fancy  for 
love ;  th?y  behold  a  person  whom  they  would  almost  take 
to  be  an  angel  in  human  shape,  (but  all  is  not  gold  that 
glitters,)  and  through  the  medium  of  the  eye  become 
enamoured  ;  and  rest  not  until  the  object  of  their  fancy  is 
won..  Beauty  being  but  skin  deep,  sickness  or  age  soon 
makes  the  rose  to  wither ;  they  are  then  as  much  disap- 
pointed as  the  miser  who  thought  he  had  ten  thousand 
guineas  all  in  gold,  but  after  counting  them  over  every 
day  for  twelve  months,  the  gilt  wore  off,  by  which  means 
he  discovered  his  gold  was  only  tarnished  copper;  of 
course  lost  its  value  in  his  estimation.  So  when  beauty 
fades,  the  foundation  of  happiness  being  gone,  and  seeing 
nothing  attracting  to  remain,  it  is  not  uncommon  for  an 
object  more  beautiful  to  be  sought.  3d.  There  is  such  a 
thing  as  for  petsoas  to  marry  for  love,  and  yet  be  un- 
happy i  J)i^l  ?ay  marry  for  love  ?  Yes— but  not  their 
owa  lore  j  OB;ly  the  love  of  their  parents  or  friends.  For 
instance,  two  persons  of  suitable  age,  character,  disposi- 
tion, &c.  form  attaehments  of  the  strongest  nature,  are 
actuated  by  pure  motives,  are  united  in  heart,  and  enter 
into  the  most  solemn  engagements  t&live  together  during 
life  ;*  the  parents  being  asked,  utterly  refase  to  give  ti  eir 
daughter,  without  any  suftieieat  reason  for  such  refusal. 
In  the  next  place,  they  strive  to  break  the  marriage  con- 
tract, as  made  by  the  two  young  people.     Perhaps  the 


*  Some  people  say  the  bargain  should  be  conditional,  thus — •'  If  my 
parents  love  you  well  enongh,  1  will  have  yoiu"  This  jnst  {irovea 
ihe  point  in  h^nd,  thai  they  tjiugt  ma3;ry  for  the  pareaU'  love  aud 


MATRIMONY.  16? 

man  has  not  property  enough  to  please  them,  for  worth  is 
generally  (though  improperly)  estimated  by  the  quantity 
of  property  a  person  possesses,  instead  of  a  character,  his 
principles,  his  practices,  &c.  In  order  to  effect  their 
wishes  every  measure  they  can  invent  is  pushed  into 
operation,  (and  it  is  frequently  ihe  case  that  family  con- 
nexions, and  even  strangers  interfere,  who  have  no  busi- 
ness so  to  do  ;  but  fools  will  be  meddling  ;)  to  change 
the  woman's  mind,  and  make  bad  impressions  on  the 
same  with  respect  to  the  object  of  her  affections;  they 
strive  by  placing  their  diabolical  optic  to  her  eye  to  make 
her  view  every  thing  in  the  worst  light  they  possibly 
can  ;  promise  great  things  if  she  break  it  off:  "  all  these 
things  will  I  give  thee,  if  thou  wilt  fall  down  and  wor- 
ship me,"  (said  the  devil  once  ;)  threaten  to  place  the 
black  seal  of  reprobation  upon  her  if  she  fulfils  her  en- 
gagements. Here  the  mind  becomes  as  a  "troubled  sea 
which  cannot  rest ;"  She  is  at  a  loss  to  know  what  is 
duty — she  loves  her  parents,  also  the  man  to  whom  her 
heart  has  been  united — her  affections  are  placed,  her 
honour  is  pledged — she  spends  restless  nights  and  mourn- 
ful days  to  know  how  to  decide! — critical  but  important 
period !  Her  present,  and  perhaps  her  eternal  peace 
depends  upon  the  decision  !  After  many  struggles  with 
her  own  conscience,  at  length  through  powerful  persua- 
sion sh%  yields  to  the  wishes  of  others — betrays  her  trust, 
breaks  her  marriage  contract,  deserts  her  best  friend,  and 
pierces  herself  through  with  many  sorrows.*  Does  this 
decision  give  peace  of  mind  ?  By  no  means  1  She  is 
pained  at  the  very  heart,  and  flies  to  some  secret  place 
to  give  vent  to  the  sorrow  she  feels.  Follow  her  to  the 
lonely  apartment — behold  her  there  as  pale  as  death — = 
her  cheeks  bedewed  with  tears  I    What  mean  those  heavy 


*  If  the  woman  is  under  age,  she  may  perhaps  be  ju6tifiabl«  on 
that  accouut;  but  if  she  is  of  age  it  argues  imbecility;  for  she  has 
as  much  right  to  act  for  herself,  as  her  parents  have  to  act  for 
themselves;  ot  course  should  have  a  judgment  and  soul  of  her 
own !  If  the  fault  is  altogether  in  herself,  she  proves  at  once  she 
is  not  to  be  confided  in:  and  1  would  pronounce  that  man  blessed 
who  has  escaped  a  woman  of  so  mean  a  principle— for  Bwch  a  thing 
has  scarcely  been  known  among  heathenp. 
13* 


168  REFLECTIONS  ON 

groans  ?  What  mean  those  heart-breaking  sighs  ?  What 
mean  those  floods  of  briny  tears  poured  forth  so  free,  as 
if  without  consent  ?  She  Avas  torn  from  the  object  ©1  all 
her  earthly  joy  !  The  ways  of  God  "are  pleasantness, 
and  all  his  paths  are  peace,"  but  she  finds  nothing  save 
sorrow  in  the  way  and  path  which  she  has  taken-^here- 
fore  she  is  not  in  the  way  which  she  ought  to  have  went. 
Another  man  pays  his  addresses  to  her ;  by  no  means 
calculated  to  make  her  a  suitable  companion — but  he  has 
large  possessions ;  and  this  being  the  object  her  parents 
and  friends  have  in  view  they  do  and  say  all  they  can  to 
get  her  consentable.  But  parents  should  remember,  that 
they  can  no  more  love  for  their  children,  than  they  can 
eat  and  drink  for  them.  Through  their  intreaties  she  is 
prevailed  on  to  give  him  her  hand,  while  her  affections 
are  placed  on  another.  Thus  she  marries  for  the  love  of 
her  parents — and  goes  with  a  heavy  heart  to  the  marriage 
bed.  They  ha^e  laid  a  foundation  to  make  her  unhappy 
while  she  lives ;  and  may  I  not  say,  more  than  probable, 
to  procure  her  future  misery  !  For  how  can  she  be  happy 
Avith  a  man  whom  she  does  not  love  !  "  How  can  two 
walk  together  except  they  be  agreed?"  Where  there  is 
no  agreement  there  can  be  no  union,  and  where  there  is 
no  union,  there  can  be  no  happiness.  As  the  parents  are 
not  so  immediately  concerned  therein  as  the  child,  they 
act  very  improperly  in  over-persuading  their  child  to 
marry.  For  if  she  is  unhappy  in  such  marriage,  she  will 
have  cause  to  reflect  on  them,  and  place  her  misery  to 
their  account ;  while  she  waits  for  the  hour  to  come  to 
end  her  existence,  and  terminate  the  misery  which  she 
feels  !  Marriage  was  intended  for  the  mutual  happiness 
of  the  sexes — for  the  woman  w^as  given  to  the  man  to  be 
"  an  help  meet  for  him,"  Gen.  ii.  18.  Marriage  is  an 
emblem  of  that  union  which  subsists  between  Christ  and 
his  Church,  Eph.  v.  32.  Solomon  saith,  "  Whoso  findeth 
a  wife,  findeth  a  good  thing,  and  obtaineth  favour  of  the 
Lord," — Prov.  viii.  22.  Again,  "  a  prudent  wife  is  from 
the  Lord." — Prov.  xix.  14.  1  therefore  conclude  that  a 
happy  marriage  is  the  greatest  blessing  and  consolation 
which  can  be  enjoyed  on  this  side  of  eternity,  next  to  the 
love  of  God  in  the  soul.  Of  course  an  unhappy  marriage 
is  the  greatest  curse  which  is  endured  on  this  side  of  hell, 


MATRIMONY.  169 

next  to  the  horrors  of  a  guilty  conscience.  Quitting  this, 
I  pass  on  to  observe,  that  many  make  themselves  unhappy 
after  marriage.  I  shall  1st.  Notice  some  things  in  the 
conduct  of  men.  2dly,  In  the  conduct  of  women.  3dly, 
Point  out  some  complex  eases,  1st,  It  frequently  happens 
that  wicked  men  pay  their  addresses  to  religious  women ; 
and  in  order  to  accomplish  their  desire,  pretend  to  have  a 
great  regard  for  piety,  promise  to  do  all  in  their  power 
to  assist  them  on  their  way  to  heaven,  and  call  God  to 
bear  witness  to  a  lie  that  they  will  be  no  hindrance  to 
them,  &c,  and  many  go  so  far  as  to  pnt  on  the  outward 
garb  of  religion  that  they  may  more  easily  betray  with  a 
kiss  !  But  shortly  after  marriage  the  wolf  sheds  his  coat, 
and  openly  avows  his  dislike  to  the  ways  of  godliness, 
and  either  directly  or  indirectly  declares  that  his  wife 
shall  not  enjoy  the  privileges  of  the  gospel.  Here  the 
wife  is  convinced  of  the  insincerity  of  his  promise,  which 
makes  her  doubt  the  sincerity  of  his  affection  for  her;  the 
house  becomes  divided,  and  the  foundation  of  their  future 
misery  is  laid  ;  and  it  will  be  a  mercy  of  God,  if  they  are 
not  a  means  of  peopling  the  regions  of  the  damned,  and 
at  last  go  down  to  the  chambers  of  death  together.  2dly, 
Some  men  pretend  to  respect  their  wives — the  wife  looks 
up  to  her  husband  as  her  head  for  protection,  and,  as  a 
reasonable  woman,  expects  him  to  redress  her  grievances. 
But  alas  :  how  is  she  disappointed  !  For  he  approbates 
that  in  others  which  he  could  prevent  without  any  loss 
of  property,  or  character ;  and  appears  to  delight  in  hex- 
misery.  Instance  those  who  have  religious  wives,  and 
suffer  drinking,  swearing,  frolicking,  gambling,  dec.  about 
their  houses.  Is  it  not  natural  for  such  women  to  con- 
clude their  husbands  have  a  greater  regard  for  such  wicked 
beings  than  themselves  ?  If  so,  how  can  my  husband 
have  that  regard  for  me  which  he  ought  to  have  ?  And 
what  becomes  of  that  scripture  which  saith,  "  so  ought 
men  to  love  their  wives  as  their  own  bodies :  he  that 
loveth  his  wife  loveth  himself." — Eph.  v.  28.  Again, 
Col.  iii.  19.  "Husbands  love  your  wives,  and  be  not 
bitter  against  them."  3dly,  A  great  many  men  stay  away 
from  home  unnecessarily,  spend  their  time  in  drinking, 
&.c.  expending  their  money  in  the  taverns,  which  ought 
to  go  to  the  support  of  their  families,  while  their  wives 


170  REFLECTIONS  ON 

.have  not  the  necessaries  of  iife.  and  are  labouring  night 
and  day  to  keep  their  children  from  starving.  Thus  many 
families  are  brought  to  disgrace  and  misery  by  the  wick- 
edness of  husbands.  But  one  is  ready  to  say,  I  provide 
well  for  my  family  5  and  am  I  not  at  liberty  to  go  and 
come  when  I  please  ?  Yes,  as  far  as  is  expedient,  but  no 
farther,  if  you  do  not  wish  to  forfeit  your  wife's  confi- 
dence. I  ask,  what  must  be  the  feelings  of  a  woman 
left  in  such  a  case,  when  she  knows  her  husband  has  no 
lawful  business  to  detain  him  from  home  ?  What  con- 
clusion can  she  more  rationally  draw  than  this  :  My  com- 
pany is  disagreeable  to  him.  therefore  he  is  determined  to 
have  as  little  of  it  as  possible.  The  society  of  others  is 
more  pleasing  to  him  than  tliat  of  his  family  ;  therefore 
he  seeks  pleasure  abroad  ?"  Here  grounds  are  given  ibr 
her  to  suspect  his  virtue  ;  and  it  is  very  common  for 
women  to  think  such  men  have  their  misses  from  home, 
which  is  too  often  the  case.  Reflect  for  a  moment  what 
must  be  the  sensations  of  a  delicate  woman,  to  hear  that 
her  bosom  friend  lies  intoxicated  among  the  swine  in 
the  streets.  I  am  certain  from  observation  that  no  woman 
can  be  happy  with  a  drunken  man;  therefore  I  am  bold  to 
say  wherever  you  see  such  a  thing,  you  see  an  unhappy 
family — and  except  such  persons  repent  and  get  forgive- 
ness, they  will  assuredly  be  damned,  however  rich,  hon- 
ouraole,  and  wise  they  may  be.  For  St.  Paul  ranks 
drunkenness  among  the  works  of  the  flesh,  and  positively 
declares,  "  they  who  do  such  things  shall  not  inherit  the 
kingdom  of  God,"  Gal.  v.  Therefore  I  would  advise  all 
young  ladies,  if  they  vvish  to  be  happy  in  time  or  eter- 
nity, to  avoid  such  young  men  as  hanker  about  the 
taverns,  and  have  not  respect  enough  for  their  own  cha- 
racters to  raise  them  above  a  level  with  the  beasts  ! — 
For  beasts  do  not  get  drunk.  They  who  get  drunk 
when  young,  are  apt  to  be  sots  when  old.  Moreover, 
a  great  many  sins  flow  from  that  of  drunkenness,  a 
few  of  which  I  shall  here  mention,  1st,  It  brings 
on  disorders  to  their  destruction,  which,  2nd,  prevents 
their  usefulness  as  worthy  members  in  society.  3d, 
Shortens  their  days,  which  is  a  species  of  murder,  the 
most  heinous  of  all  crimes.  4th,  A  bad  example  before 
others.    5th,  Procures  a  family  scandal.    6th,  His  money 


MATRIMONY.  17J 

is  laid  out  for  that  whieh  is  worse  than  if  thrown  mt& 
the  fire ;  which,  7th,  Prevents  his  usefulness  as  3  charit- 
able man.  8th,  Is  a  breach  of  God^s  law,  9th,  Quenches 
the  Divine  Spirit.  lOthy  Exposes  his  family  to  want. — 
11th,  Liable  to  bring  a  burthen  on  the  country.  12thy 
Deprives  him  of  the  power  of  reason  ;  which,  ISth^ 
Makes  him  liable  to  injure  his  friends  and  commit  every 
horrid  depredation.  And  such  men  as  will  get  drunk  and 
then  abuse  their  wives,  do  not  deserve  the  name  of  men, 
for  they  have  not  the  principle  of  men^  but  may  be  called 
the  devil's  swill-tub  walking  upright ;  .md  such  deserve  ai 
dose  of  eel  tea,  i.  e.  spirituous  liquor  in  which  a  living- 
eel  has  been  slimed.  4thly,  There  are  men  who  break 
the  contract  by  defiling  the  marriage  bed — but  this  is 
thought  to  be  no  scandal  by  many  who  are  guilty.* — 


*  Paley  observes,  that,  on  the  part  of  the  man  who  solicits  the  chas- 
tity of  a  married  woman,  it  certainly  includes  the  crime  of  seduction, 
and  is  attended  witli  mischief  still  more  extensive  and  complicated  ; 
it  creates  a  new  sufferer,  an  injured  husband  upon  whose  affection  is 
inflicted  a  wound,  the  most  pamful  and  incurable  that  human  nature 
knows.  The  infidelity  of  the  woman  is  aggravated  by  eruelty  to  heF 
children,  who  are  generally  involved  in  their  parents^  sharne,  and 
always  made  unhappy  by  their  quarrel.  The  marriage  vow  is  wit- 
nessed before  God,  and  accompanied  with  circumstances  of  aolemnky 
and  religion  which  approach  to  the  nature  ot  an  oath.  The  married 
offender,  therefore,  incurs  a  crime  little  short  of  perjury,  and  the 
seduction  of  married  women  is  little  less  than  subordination  of  per- 
jury. But  the  strongest  apology  for  adultery  is  the  prior  transgres- 
sion of  the  other  party  j  and  so  far,  indeed,  as  the  bad  eftectaof  adul- 
tery are  anticipated  by  the  conduct  of  the  husband  or  wife  vihA  oflenda 
first,  the  guilt  of  the  second  offender  is  extenuated.  But  this  ean 
never  amount  to  a  justification,  unless  it  could  be  shown  thai  the 
obligation  of  the  marriage  vow  depends  upon  the  conviction  of  reci- 
procal fidelity  ;  a  construction  which  appears  founded  neither  in  ex- 
pediency, nor  in  terms  of  the  vow,  nor  in  the  design  of  the  legislature^ 
v/hich  prescribed  the  marriage  rite.  To  consider  the  offence  upon 
the  footing  of  provocation,  therefore,  can  by  no  means  vindicate  re- 
taliation. "Thou  ahak  not  commit  adulteiry/*  it  must  ever  be  remem- 
bered, was  an  interdict  delivered  by  God  himself.  The  crime  haa 
been  punished  in  almost  all  ages  and  nations.  By  the  Jewish  law  it 
was  punishable  with  death  in  both  parties,  where  either  the  woman 
was  married,  or  both.  Among  the  Egyptians  adultery,  in  the  man 
v.as  punished  by  a  thousand  lashes,  with  rods,  and  in  the  woman  by 
the  loss  of  her  nose.  The  Greeks  put  out  the  eyes  of  the  adulterers^ 
Among  tl^e  Romaus  it  was  punished  by  baniahiuentj  cutting  off  \h» 


172  REFLECTIONS  ON 

Now  take  notice,  a  man  of  good  principles  thinks  as 
much  of  his  word  as  his  oath,  therefore  will  be  true  to 
his  engagements,  and  will  fulfil  that  promise  made  before 
witnesses,  to  "  forsake  all  other  women,  and  keep  to  his 
wife  only,  so  long  as  they  both  shall  live,  to  live  with  her 
after  God's  holy  ordinance."  Now  I  ask,  is  adultery 
God's  ordinance?  No,  for  he  forbids  adultery,  Exod.  xx. 
14.  He  who  breaks  his  most  sacred  engagements  is  not 
to  be  confided  in.  Matrimonial  engagements  are  the  most 
sacred— therefore  he  who  breaks  his  matrimonial  engage- 
ments is  not  to  be  confided  in,  5thly,  Some  men  have 
an  unhappy  temper;  are  morose  and  peevish — and  though 
their  wives  do  all  they  can,  or  as  they  may,  it  is  impossi- 
ble to  please  them.  They  are  easily  angered,  view  a 
mote  until  it  looks  as  large  as  a  mountain ;  one  word 
brings  on  another,  at  length  they  proceed  from  words  to 
blows,  until  they  become  so  large  that  one  bed  cannot 
hold  them  both.  Many  of  our  eyes  and  ears  have  been 
witness  to  this  shameful  conduct ;  the  jarring  string  of 
discord  runs  through  all  the  family  ;  they  are  like  devils 
incarnate ;  and  if  a  person  happens  to  be  in  the  family 
who  has  never  been  used  to  such  conduct,  would  he  not 
be  almost  led  to  think  he  had  gotten  into  the  territories  of 
the  damned  ?  What  is  here  said  of  the  man.  is  applica- 
ble to  a  great  many  women.  |I3="  A  wounded  bird  will 
flutter.  There  are  too  many  causes  for  me  to  cite  under 
this  head.  I  leave  your  minds  to  take  them  in  while  I 
pass  on  to  the  next  thing  under  consideration,  which  \vas 
to  notice  some  things  in  the  conduct  of  women,  which 
make  unhappy  marriages. 

1st.  There  are  some  Avomen  who  are  so  unfortunate  as 
to  miss  the  path  of  virtue,  prior  to  their  being  married.* 


ears,  noses,  and  sewing  the  adulterers  in  sacks,  and  throwme^them 
into  the  sea;  scourging,  burning,  &c.  &c.  In  Spain  and  Poland 
they  were  ahnoet  as  severe.  The  Saxons  formerly  burnt  the  adul- 
tress,  and  over  her  ashes  erected  a  gibbet,  whereon  the  adulterer  was 
hanged.  King  Edmund  in  this  kingdom,  ordered  adultery  to  be  pun- 
ished in  the  same  manner  as  homieiile.  Canute  ordered  the  man  to 
be  banished,  and  the  woman  to  have  her  nose  and  ears  cut  off. 

*  Fornication,    whoredom,   or    the  act  of  incontinency  between 
single  [>ersons  ;  for  if  eitherpf  the  parties  be  married,  it  is  adultery. ' 


MATRIMONY.  173 

Now  although  they  may  pass  for  virgins,  they  are  not 
such  in  reality — any  more  than  base  metal  is  genuine. — 
And  notwithstanding  they  may  deceive  a  man  until  the 
marriage  knot  is  tied,  that  imposition  may  be  known  in 
future,  Deut.  xxii.  This  being  the  case  it  is  impossible 
for  the  man  to  love  her  as  he  ought,  or  otherwise  would: 
here  is  a  source  from  whence  misery  flows  in  the  very 
beginning ;  as  Solomon  saith,  Prov.  xii.  4.  "  A  virtuous 
woman  is  a  crown  (or  ornament)  to  her  husband — but  she 
that  maketh  ashamed  is  as  rottenness  in  his  bones."  He 
must  know  that  one  person  at  least  knows  this  as  well  as 
himself;  this  causes  him  to  be  ashamed,  while  she  be- 
comes as  rottenness  in  his  bones;  for  the  impression  is 
not  easily  worn  off.  I  hope  these  observations  will  not 
be  forgotten  by  my  female  readers,  whose  virtue  yet 
remains  clear  and  sound  as  the  crystal  glass.  2d.  God 
has  placed  the  man  as  governor  in  the  family,  and  he  is 


While  scripture  drives  no  sanction  to  thoae  austerities  which  have 
been  imposed  on  men  under  the  idea  of  religion,  so,  on  the  other 
hand,  they  give  no  liberty  for  the  indulgence  of  any  propensity  that 
would  either  mitigate  against  our  own  interest  or  that  of  others.  It 
is  vain  to  argue  the  innocency  of  fornication  fixim  the  natural  pas 
sions  implanted  in  us,  since  "marriage  is  honorable  in  ail,"  and 
wisely  appointed  for  the  prevention  of  those  evils  w^hich  would  oth- 
erwise ensue  ;  and  besides,  the  existence  of  any  natural  propensity 
in  us,  is  no  proof  that  it  is  to  be  gratified  without  any  reatrictiona.-- 
That  fornication  is  both  unlawful  and  unreasonable,  may  be  easily 
inferred,  if  we  consider,  1.  That  our  Saviour  expressly  declares  this 
to  be  a  crime.  Mark  vii.  21  to  23  :  2.  That  the  scriptures  declare 
that  fornicators  cannot  inherit  the  kiiigdom  of  God.  1  Cor.  vi,  9. 
Heb.  xiii.  16,  Gal.  v.  19  to  22 — 23.  Fornication  sink*  into  a  mere 
brutal  commerce,  a  gratification  which  was  designed  to  be  the  cement 
of  a  sacred,  generous,  and  tender  friendship:  4.  It  leaves  the  mainte- 
nance and  education  of  children,  as  to  the  father  at  least,  utterly  un- 
secured: 5,  It  strongly  tempts  the  guilty  mother  to  guard  herself 
from  infamy  by  methods  of  procuring  abortion,  which  not  only  de 
stroys  the  child,  but  often  the  mother :  6,  It  disqualifies  the  deluded 
creatures  to  be  either  good  wives  or  mothers,  in  any  future  marriage, 
ruining  that  modesty  which  is  the  guardian  of  nuptial  happiness  : 
7.  It  absolutely  disqualifies  the  man  for  the  best  satisfactions—  thoae 
of  truth,  virtue,  innocent  gratifications,  tender  and  generous  friend- 
ship :  It  often  perpetuates  a  disease  which  may  be  'accounted  for  one 
of  the  sorest  maladies  of  human  nature,  and  the  eft'ects  of  which  are 
said  to  visit  the  constitutions  of  even  distant  generations. 


m  REFLECTIONS  ON 

styled,,  "  head  of  the  woman,"  Eph.  v.  23.  Now  there 
are  some  women,  though  they  promise  to  "live  after 
God's  ordinance,"  are  not  willing  to  do  it,  hut  wish  to  be 
head  themselves;  (according  to  the  vulgar  saying,  put 
the  petticoat  on  the  man  and  wear  the  breeches  them- 
selves,) claiming  superior  equality*— whatever  is  to  be 
done,  they  must  give  directions,  the  man  durst  not  bar- 
gain without  leave,  and  if  he  does  his  wife's  tongue  runs 
as  though  it  would  never  stop.  What  does  it  argue  ?  It 
argues  great  straight  I,  and  little  crooked  w— that  the 
woman  thinks  herself  possessed  of  great  wisdom,  and 
her  husband  ignorant  in  the  extreme ;  and  sets  him  aside 
as  a  mere  cypher.  But  so  far  is  this  from  being  a  trait  of 
wisdom,  that  it  proves  the  reverse ;  for  a  wise  woman 
will  reverence  and  obey  her  husband,  according  to  Eph. 
V.  22,  23.  1  Pet.  iii.  1.  Moreover  it  argues  self-impor- 
tance, to  see  people  climbing  to  the  high  seat  of  power 
where  they  have  no  business.  IT^  Self-importance  flows 
from  ignorance.  If  the  man  is  a  man  of  sense  and  spirit, 
he  is  not  willing  to  give  up  that  which  properly  belongs 
to  him,  viz.  the  rein  of  government,  of  course  the  contest 
which  begins  in  words  frequently  ends  in  blows.  Thus 
many  women  by  assuming  to  themselves  a  prerogative 
which  does  not  belong  to  them,  make  unhappy  families. 
Women  by  indulging  a  mean  opinion  of  their  husbands, 
become  ashamed  of  them  ;  but  this  can  happen  in  no 
case  where  there  is  not  a  want  of  information  and  judg- 
ment. If  you  stooped  in  marrying  him,  do  not  indulge 
the  thought  that  you  added  to  his  respectability  ;  never 
tell  him  "  you  lifted  him  out  of  the  ashes,"  for  it  will  be 
hard  for  you  to  extricate  yourself  from  this  difficulty. — 
"  If  you  stooped  of  necessity  because  you  could  get  no 
one  else,  the  obligation  is  on  your  own  side.  And  if  you 
could  get  a  better  companion  why  did  you  marry  him  1 
If  you  stooped  of  choice,  Avho  ought  to  be  blamed  but 
yourself?  Besides,  it  will  be  well  to  remember  when 
you  became  his  wife  he  became  your  head,  and  your  sup- 
posed superiority  was  buried  in  that  voluntary  act."    3d. 


♦  "  Whip  MY  dogs  because  MY  dogs  did  not  watch  MY 
Give  MY  dogs  no  supper,  ^^M  Y  carl ! !" 


MATRIMONY.  175 

There  are  many  young  women,  who  in  order  to  marry 
well,  appear  very  mild,  very  affectionate  and  very  decent 
in  their  persons,  houses,  &c.  (frequently  using  an  air  of 
affectionate  and  speaking  with  faultering  voices.)  Some 
young  gentleman  wishing  to  get  a  companion  of  this 
description,  offers  his  hand  to  one  of  these  "jackdaws 
dressed  in  peacock  feathers" — the  nuptials  are  celebrated, 
her  wishes  are  answered,  the  cloak  is  laid  aside,  and  she 
soon  appears  what  she  is  in  reality.  The  innocency  o4* 
the  lamb  is  lost  in  the  fierceness  of  the  lion ;  the  affection 
of  the  dove  in  the  cruelty  of  the  ostrich  ;  and  the  cleanli- 
ness of  the  sheep  in  the  filthiness  of  the  swine.  These 
properties  are  bad  in  the  abstract,  but  far  worse  when  they 
meet  together.  Filthiness  is  the  fruit  of  laziness.  Go 
to  the  house  where  a  lazy  woman  bears  rule ;  examine 
the  floor,  the  furniture,  the  bedding,  the  linen,  the  child- 
ren, and  last  of  all  herself,  and  see  what  an  agreement 
throughout  the  Avhole — every  thing  is  out  of  fix ;  and  if 
she  is  a  professor  of  religion,  you  may,  without  erring 
far,  form  a  rational  judgment  of  the  state  of  her  soul, 
from  the  appearance  of  her  body.  Laziness  is  inconsis- 
tent with  the  gospel  of  Christ,  and  with  the  spirit  of 
Christianity  ;  for  St.  Paul  told  the  Thessalonians  to  note 
such  "  a  man,  and  have  no  company  with  him,  that  he 
may  bs  ashamed,"  2  Thess.  iii.  14.  Moreover,  a  lazy 
Christian  is  as  great  a  solecism  as  an  honest  thief,  a  sober 
drunkard,  a  chaste  harlot,  or  a  holy  devil.  But  it  may  be 
asked — what  are  the  evils  that  accrue  from  dirty  houses, 
&c.  I  answer,  1st.  If  a  gentleman  or  lady  visits  you, 
they  have  no  appetite  to  eat  or  drink  in  your  houses ; 
and  what  are  your  feelings  when  you  are  certain  of  the 
cause  ?  2d.  They  can  have  no  satisfaction  in  your  beds, 
they  smell  so  offensive,  and  are  so  infested  with  hungry 
night  walkers,  which  thirst  for  human  blood.  3d.  The 
very  disagreeableness  of  the  air,  causes  them  to  wish  to 
make  their  escape,  lest  they  should  be  seized  with  putrid 
or  malignant  fevers,  which  might  terminate  in  death. — 
4th.  Many  diseases  originate  there  from,  which  are  pro- 
ductive of  the  most  fatal  consequences  to  the  family. — 
5th.  Thereby  you  transmit  a  curse  to  your  children  ;  for 
the  children,  in  common,  pattern  after  their  parents — and 
as  they  do  with  you,  so  will  they  do  when  they  get  to 


i76  EEFLECTIONS  ON 

themselves.  Therefore  says  one,  "  Take  care  of  the 
breed."  There  is  no  excuse  sufficient  to  justify  those  who 
are  able  to  work  and  live  in  dirt,  where  water  is  plenty, 
and  may  be  had  for  nothing :  Therefore  I  would  advise 
all  persons  who  value  their  health,  to  shun  such  places 
as  they  would  a  city  where  the  plague  is  in  full  rage. — 
Now  if  a  man  is  thus  taken  in,  how  can  he  be  happy,  pro- 
vided he  has  never  be  accustomed  so  to  liv«  ?  And  if  h« 
has,  by  seeking  a  woman  from  whom  he  expects  better 
things,  he  clearly  evinces  his  dissatisfaction  in  that  man- 
»er  of  life.  But  finding  out  the  deception,  he  has  no 
heart  to  work ;  takes  to  drink,  to  drown  his  sorrow.  Here 
we  behold  another  cause  of  family  misery,  or  unhappy 
marriages.  4thly.  It  sometimes  is  the  case,  that  the  wife, 
for  want  of  due  consideration,  as  it  relates  to  his  constitu- 
tion and  inclination,*  treats  him,  as  an  husband,  with 


♦  "In  the  Jewish  constitutions,  there  are  some  things  not  only 
curious,  but  useful,  respecting  marriage.  'There  are  four  causes 
which  induce  men  to  marry :  1.  Impure  desire,  2-.  To  get  riches,  3. 
To  become  honourable.  4!  For  the  glory  of  God,  Those  who  marry 
through  the  first  motive,  beget  wicked  and  rebellious  children.  Those 
who  marry  for  the  sake  of  riches,  have  the  curse  of  leaving  them  to 
■others.  Those  who  marry  for  the  sake  of  aggrandizing  their  family, 
their  families  shall  be  diminished.  Those  who  marry  to  promote  the 
glory  of  God,  their  children  shall  be  holy,  and  by  them  shall  the  true 
shurch  be  increased.' 

' '  Let  the  husband  render  unto  the  wife  due  ftencrofencc.— Though 
our  version  is  no  translation  of  the  original,  yet  few  people  are  at  a 
loss  for  the  meaning;  and  the  context  is  sufficiently  plain.  Some 
have  rendered  the  words,  not  unaptly,  the  matrimonial  tiebt,  or  con- 
jugal duty  ;  that  which  a  wife  owes  to  her  husband,  and  the  husband 
to  his  wife  ;  and  which  they  must  take  care  mutually  to  render,  else 
alienation  of  affection  will  be  the  infallible  consequence  ;  and  this,  in 
numberless  instances,  has  led  to  adulterous  connections.  In  such 
cases,  the  wife  has  to  blame  herself  for  the  infidelity  of  her  husband; 
and  the  husband  for  that  of  his  wife.  What  miserable  work  has 
been  made  in  the  peace  of  families,  by  a  wife  or  husband  pretending 
to  be  wiser  than  the  apostle,  and  too  holy  and  spiritual  to  keep  the 
commandments  of  God  I 

'*  The  wife  hath  not  j^ower,  c^-c. — Her  person  belongs  to  her  hus- 
band ;  her  husband's  person  belongs  to  her;  neither  of  them  has  any 
authority  to  refuse  what  the  other  has  a  matrimonial  right  to  demand. 
The  woman  that  would  act  so,  is  either  a  knave  or  a  fool.  It  would 
bs  triflmg  to  attribute  her  ooidijct  to  any  othsr  cauBS  than  weaknesa 


MATRIMONY.  177 

neglect:  which  makes  a  bad  impression  on  his  mind  that 
is  not  easily  erased,  but  tends  to  wean  his  affections  from 
her,  and  exposes  him  to  the  temptations  of  others,  till  she 
becomes  a  burden,  and  he  wishes  her  out  of  the  way  as  a 
rival.  Thus  she  is  blind  to  her  own  happiness,  and  pro- 
cures her  own  destruction.  Quitting  this,  I  pass  on  to 
the  third  thing  under  consideration ;  in  which  I  am  to 
point  out  some  complex  cases,  in  which  either  party  may 
be  guilty.  And  1st.  That  odious  practice  of  talking 
against  each  other,  and  exposing  their  weakness  to  those 
whom  it  doth  not  concern.  For  this  is  only  exposing 
one^s  self!  and  is  attended  with  concomitant  evils;  and 
a  great  incalculable  mischief  will  ensue — among  which 
will  lie  ambition,  and  a  desire  to  retaliate  with  revenge  ! 

2dly.  A  desire  for  the  mastery — cannot  or  will  not  bear 
contradiction ;  but  must  have  the  last  word  !  Here,  from 
calling  each  other  "  dear"  and  "  honey  1"  there  will  be  a 
spirit  of  bitterness,  and  finally  give  each  other  the  lie — 
and  perhaps  a  separation  may  ensue  from  some  trifling 
circumstance  ;  like  the  man  and  his  wife  who  disputed 
whether  it  was  a  mouse  or  a  rat  that  ran  across  the  hearth 
— their  friends  got  them  to  settle — make  up— but  it  was 
a  rat — let  it  be  a  rat,  replied  the  man — this  finished  it. 

3dly.  A  desire  to  make  a  show  above  their  income, 
which  the  judicious  reflection  of  the  other  opposes — starve 
the  belly,  to  make  the  back  and  head  look  gay  I  And 
even  among  the  rich,  as  well  as  poor,  what  misery  and 
unhappiness  there  exists  ! — Go  to  the  middle  class  to  find 
virtue,  and  look  at  Ag'ur^s  prayer! 

4thly.  A  man  or  woman  marries  one  who  has  former 
children — partiality  is  shown :  one  is  an  idol,  and  another 
is  beaten  and  starved  ;  what  is  the  consequence? — When 
vexed — 1  had  a  husband  once  I  He  is  gone  now  !  Never 
was  a  man  like  him  !  When,  perhaps,  the  present  may 
be  twenty  times  as  good  as  him.  The  false  epitaphs  on 
the  tomb-stones  of  the  dead,  in  relation  to  their  true  cha- 


or  folly.     She  does  not  love  her  husband;  or  she  loves  some  oue  else 
better  than  her  husband;  or  e'se  she 'makes  pretensions  to  a  fancied 

sanctity,  unsupported  bv  scripture  or  common  sense." Vide  Dr» 

Clarice's  Commentary,  (  Cor.  vii.  2,  3,  4. 


ITS  REFLECTIONS  ON 

racter,  is  specific  of  this  ;  and  the  many  lies  that  are  told 
about  the  deceased!* 

5th.  Sometimes  the  spirit  of  Jealousy  arises  from  an 
evil  surmising.  Shadows  then  will  appear  like  a  sub- 
stance;  and  conjecture  amounts  to  reality  with  them. — 
Reason  is  laid  aside.  Their  suspicion  amounts  to  an 
inquisition :  and  this  excites  them  to  let  out  an  accusa- 
tion, even  to  a  condemnation  of  the  object.  Jealousy, 
once  admitted,  contaminates  the  mind,  and  is  manifest 
in  their  spirit,  if  not  through  all  their  conduct.  This  must 
divide  their  hearts,  and  lays  a  foundation  for  their  future 
misery  I  The  tears  and  protestations  of  the  innocent  are 
construed  as  so  many  marks  of  guilt ;  and  plainly  show 
that  "jealousy  is  as  cruel  as  the  grave'' — and  to  such 
nothing  will  appear  to  go  right. 

Here  grounds  are  given  to  suspect  her  for  such  rash 
judgment,  when  he  is  conscious  of  innocence  in  himself 
—of  course  she  must  sink  in  his  estimation  j  and  hi^ 
treatment  will  be  apt  to  follow  accordingly. 

Therefore  never  listen  to  the  tales  of  a  whisperer  about 
or  against  your  companion — nor  believe  any  evil  concern- 
ing them  without  the  best  of  evidence.  For  division, 
once  generated  in  a  family — farewell  to  peace  !  Remem- 
h2T  your  own  weakness ;  but  realize  the  other's  worth 
and  their  virtues! 

1st.  I  would  advise  all  young  people,  male  and  female, 
to  get  religion ;  by  which  you  will  be  better  qualified  to 
do  your  duty  to  your  God  and  yourselves,  being  under  the 
influence  of  Divine  Grace ;  if  you  keep  an  eye  single  to 
the  glory  of  God,  you  may  have  a  guide  to  direct  you  to 
a  person,  such  as  will  make  you  a  partner,  who  will  be 
willing  to  share  with  you  in  all  your  sorrows.  Do  not 
look  so  much  at  property  nor  beauty  as  good  sense,  virtue, 


♦  Wept  night  and  day  at  the  tomb— no  more  comfort— all  my  love 
and  joy  is  for  ever  gone — but  afterward  formed  favourable  ideas  of  the 
JSerjeant— who,  to  understand  female  nature,  tad  scraped  acquaint- 
ance, and  found  he  could  smoke  tobacco — wished  to  be  off;  and  eb- 
Berved  that  he  was  a  deserter  from  the  army — and  two  pounis  offered 
to  place  his  head  on  a  pole  at  the  forks  of  roads !  She  replied — dig  up 
my  husband,  &c.  and  they  will  not  know  but  the  head  ia  yours— 
l^-  Many  wept,  and  yet  would  cut  off  the  head  ! 


MATRIMONY.  179 

and  piety.  Avoid  as  much  as  possible  the  company  of 
Sjuch  as  are  not  afraid  to  sin  themselves  ;  knowing  that  if 
it  is  in  their  power,  they  will  lead  you  into  that  gulf  of 
iniquity  which  has  swallowed  up  thousands  ;  *"  evil  com- 
munications  corrupt  good  manners:"  (or  rather  good 
morals,  as  is  intended,)  and  a  companion  of  fools  shall  be 
destroyed.  Get  a  person  who  will  love  you  fropi  a  sense 
of  4uty  to  God.  This  foundation,  if  beauty  and  fortune 
fail,  standeth  sure ;  and  then  you  need  not  fear  that  such 
a  cpnjpanion  will  desert  you  in  the  day  of  trouble.  If 
you  both  love  God,  it  will  be  impossible  for  you  not  to 
love  each  other.  This  being  the  case,  you  may  always 
have  a  paradise  at  home,  and  be  more  happy  in  each 
other's  cornpany  than  with  any  other  person  under  the 
canopy  of  heaven.  As  many  of  our  young  friends  have 
been  called  froni  tirne  to  eternity  before  they  had  time  to 
settle  themselves  in  the  world,  it  ought  to  be  a  warning 
to  you  not  to  put  off  your  return  to  God  until  you  get 
married;  for  before  that  time  cgmes  you  may  be  numberr 
ed  with  the  dead,  and  lie  down  between  the  clods  of  the 
valley  ;  and  if  without  religion  you  are  cut  off  in  the 
bloom  of  youth,  how  soon  will  all  your  earthly  joys  come 
to  an  end,  and  an  eternity  of  misery  commence !  But  if 
you  get  and  keep  religion,  whether  you  niarry  or  not,  it 
shall  be  well  with  you.  If  you  marry  such  a  person  as  X 
advise,  when  your  companion  dies  you  ipay  l^ave  a  well- 
grounded  hope  that  the  ever-faithful  companion  of  all 
your  cares  is  gone  to  rest  in  "  Abraham's  bosom ;"  and 
after  serving  God  together  in  time,  you  may  spend  an 
eternity  of  pleasure  together  in  praising  God  and  the 
Lamb.  ^ 


*  Perhaps  aome  will  say,  "  the  subject  Ib  too  plam,  and  tends  to 
hurt  delicate  feelings!"  cut  let  it  be  remembered  that  it  is  not  more 
plain  than  important.  And  delicacy  must  give  way  to  propriety, 
when  truth  and  matter  of  tact  demand  it.  Moreover,  some  delicate 
people  have  prejudices  which  are  founded  in  error,  and  yet,  when 
matrimony  is  treated  plainer  in  romantic  novels,  will  greedily  relish 
and  digest  it!  Observe,  they  exhibit  characters  which  no  where  in 
real  lire  exist ;  and  yet  young  minds  are  too  frequently  captivat-jd, 
and  thereby  form  an  idea ;  and  must  of  course  be  dis- 
appointed, and  consequently  made  unhappy,  perhaps,  for  life.  This 
ia  one  of  the  many  evils  of  novels  to  society  ! 
14* 


ISO  REFLECTIONS  ON 

24  I  would  advise  such  as  have  companions,  to  con- 
sult each  other's  happiness,  both  as  it  relates  to  time  and 
"eternity.  As  husbands,  love  your  wives  ;  and  as  wives, 
see  that  you  reverence  your  husbands;  try  and  find  out 
each  other's  dispositions;  consider  your  own  weakness ; 
and  think  not  any  thing  too  hard  to  be  done  by  you  to 
render  each  other  happy,  (save  the  giving  up  of  your  con- 
science.) If  Heaven  has  blessed  you  with  a  good  com- 
panion, esteem  it  as  the  greatest  temporal  blessing  which 
can  be  enjoyed,  and  be  very  careful  not  to  abuse  such  a 
gift ;  remember  that  eternal  things  are  connected  there- 
with, and  if  you  misuse  your  companion  you  will  have  to 
render  an  account  to  God  for  the  same ;  for  "  God  will 
bring  every  work  into  judgment,  with  every  secret  thing, 
whether  it  be  good,  or  whether  it  be  evil."* 

If  you  have  a  bad  companion,  you  made  your  own  con- 
tract, or  at  least  consented  thereunto ;  therefore  make  the 
best  you  can  of  a  bad  bargain ;  and  avoid  every  measure, 
as  far  as  possible,  (to  answer  it  in  the  eternal  world,) 
which  might  tend  to  make  you  more  unhappy.  If  you 
have  religion,  walk  with  Zacharias  and  Elizabeth  in  all 
the  ways  of  God  blameless.  If  you  have  no  religion, 
your  own  consciences  testify  that  all  is  not  well  with 
you,  and  God  himself  is  witness  to  the  many  promises 
you  have  broken:  therefore  it  is  high  time  for  you  to 
begin  to  think  more  seriously  on  your  latter  end,  for  many 
of  you  are  past  the  meridian  ot  life ;  your  sun  is  going 
down  in  death :  others  hover  around  the  shores  of  time — 


♦  Never  put  your  property  out  ^your  hands  to  be  dependant  on 
your  children — for  they  will  not  feel  nor  do  with  you  as  you  with 

them  when  children!    The  son  that  must  be  hired to  reform, 

will  deny the  loan  of  a  horse — the  old  man  must  walk  on 

foot ;  and  is  used  and  wished  out  of  the  way  as  a  piece  of  useless 
lumber! ! ! 

Set  no  example  before  your  children  but  what  is  worthv  for  them 
to  copy  after;  but  use  your  united  parental  influence  to  preserve 
their  morals,  and  stimulate  them  to  noble  principles.  Mothers  par- 
ticularly are  bound  by  the  strongest  obligations,  (however  lew  realize 
it,)  to  preserve  the  chastity  and  virtue  of  their  daughters;  for  on  this, 
in  a  great  measure,  depends  much  of  their  welfare  for  time,  if  not  for 
eternity;  as  a  woman  without  a  character  is  like  a  body  without  a 
soul ;  of  course  female  education  ought  not  to  be  neglected. 


MATRIMONY.  181 

but  one  step  between  you  and  the  bar  of  God !  With 
others  the  sun  of  life  will  go  down  at  noon — eternal 
things  depend  upon  life's  feeble  strings ! — Heaven  lost, 
it's  lost  for  ever ! — Careless  man  I — Prayerless  woman  ! 
Why  will  you  die  ?  Are  you  greedy  of  eternal  pain  ? — 
What  harm  did  God  ever  do,  that  you  are  determmed  not 
to  be  reconciled  to  him  ?  Are  you  so  in  love  with  sin, 
that  you  will  risk  the  loss  of  heaven,  and  the  torment  of 
hell,  for  a  momentary  enjoyment? — O!  be  wise — seek 
salvation — fly  from  the  gathering  storm  !  Believe  in 
Jesus  Christ,  and  thou  shalt  be  saved.  So  shall  you 
enjoy  peace  in  life,  tranquility  in  death,  and  croAvns  of 
victory  in  eternity.  Id*  Serious  consideration  is  the 
first  step  in  matters  of  religion,  with  a  fixed  resolution  to 
avoid  whatever  you  discern  to  be  wrong.  Having  vour 
mind  in  a  studious  frame  of  inquiry  after  God's  will,  to 
do  it.  Never  lie  down  in  rest  without  committing  your- 
self into  the  protection  of  kind  providence — and  as  you 
awake  give  thanks  to  the  hand  that  kept  you  ;  thus  begin, 
spend,  and  close  every  day  with  God — then  he  will  be 
thy  Father  and  thy  Friend  in  Jesus  Christ.    Amen. 

Most  evils  prevalent  in  society  have  their  origin  from 
the  influence  of  example,  by  •which  children  are  contami- 
nated, and  the  seeds  are  sown  in  the  prejudice  of  their 
education,  to  the  great  injury  of  themselves  and  others, 
beyond  any  possible  calculation  ! 

The  poor  opinion  which  mankind  entertain  of  each 
other,  and  the  little  confidence  they  are  pleased  to  place 
in  strangers,  as  well  as  acquaintance,  exemplify  the 
truth ;  which  shows  the  corruption  of  their  very  raising. 
For  example:  the  two  first  things  generally  learnt  to 
children  in  their  infancy  is  to  be  deceitful  and  lie. — 
The  mother  is  going  out,  the  child  cries  to  go  too ;  the 
mother  promises  to  bring  the  "pretties,"  with  no  inten- 
tion to  perform :  the  child  is  deceived  and  disappointed, 
and  confidence  is  forfeited.  "  I  will  whip,  &c.  &c,  if  you 
don't  hush," — but  the  child  is  not  influenced,  knowing 
the  scare  crow. 

Thus  taught  to  deceive  and  lie,  they  become  expert  at 
the  trade,  and  then  must  be  whipt  for  the -very  thing  the 

Earents  had  taught  them — whereas  if  the  exam^de  had 
een  good,  and  all  foolish,  wicked,  evil,  improprieties 


182  REFLECTIONS  ON,  &c. 

were  discountenanced  by  a  proper  line  of  conduct,  then  a 
blessing  would  be  transmitted  to  posterity,  according  to 
the  promise,  and  as  exemplified  by  Abraham. 

It  is  a  rarity  that  young  women  go  to  the  leeWard  with 
a  broken  *  *  ♦ ;  provided  the  seeds  of  modesty,  innocence 
and  virtue,  are  sown  in  the  mind  at  an  early  age :  where- 
as, those  mothers  who  did  not  watch  over  their  daughters, 
as  "  guardian  angels,"  are  apt  to  let  them  run  at  random : 
hence  many  get  their  ancles  scratched,  if  no  more! — 
Fathers  and  sons  may  also  take  a  hint ! 

The  tyranny  of  parents,  as  well  as  too  great  liberty,  is 
equally  pernicious — also  their  being  divided  in  their  family 
government:  likewise  backbiting,  flattery,  &c.  &c. 

iC^  But  remember  the  day  of  retribution,  and  conduct 
yourselves  accordingly  !  For  first  impressions  are  most 
durable,  therefore  the  propriety  and  necessity  of  beginning 
right,  to  end  well :  as  the  consequence  of  starting  wrong, 
you  will  for  ever  continue  in  error. 

Hence  the  propriety  of  "  Consideration,*'  and  a  proper 
exercise  of  "  Judgment,"  as  rational  creatures,  who  need 
Divine  assistance,  for  which  we  should  look  accordingly ! 


A  FEW  HINTS 
TO  WHOM  IT  MAY  CONCERN, 


Many  persons  make  their  own  trouble  ;  and  also  mate 
a  great  deal  of  unnecessary  trouble  for  others,  as  the 
effects  of  sinning  against  God ! 

A  fortune  in  a  person  is  better  than  one  with  them  ! — 
For  if  you  obtain  their  HAND  as  the  key-way  to  Money, 
what  will  it  all  avail  if  their  person  is  disagreeable,  and 
their  conduct  calculated  to  render  you  miserable  and  un- 
happy ? 

The  marks  of  a  fortune  in  a  roan  at  the  market,  are, 

1st,  HONESTY  ;  for  where  this  does  not  exist  there 
can  be  no  confidence  or  fidelity. 

2d.  INDUSTRY ;  for  without  this  a  man  will  be  no 
good  provider;  and  if  he  has  a  property  it  will  squander, 
and  leave  him.  He  will  be  of  little  or  no  service  to  God 
or  man, — but  a  pest  or  a  curse  to  those  about  him  ! 

3d.  A  GOOD  REPUTATION ;  for  heinrho  regards  not 
his  character  will  never  be  respectable  in  society;  of  course, 
he  will  transmit  a  curse  to  posterity,  in  a  family  or  social 
point  of  view  !  The  meek  are  to  inherit  the  earth, — the 
saints  to  take  possession  of  the  kingdom.  Hence  the 
seed  of  the  righteous  have  blessings  transmitted  as  the 
answer  of  prayer, — but  the  wicked  must  be  cut  off! 

4th.  Self-command  in  temper ;  which  argues  the  ne- 
cessity of  inward  religion,  which  will  produce  the  prin- 
ciple of  humanity  and  generosity. 

But  it  is  a  lamentable  truth  that  many,  both  male  and 
female,  are  ignorant  of  many  things  which  they  ought 
to  be  acquainted  with  before-hand,  and  have  to  learn 
them  afterwards !  This  is  an  evil  under  the  sun,  and 
ought  to  be  remedied.  There  is  a  great  fault  even  in  the 
upper  circles  of  life.    For  those  things  that  are  the  most 


184  REFLECTIONS  ON,  &c. 

important  are  too  superficial  in  the  mode  of  education — 
and  others  only  recommendatory  are  most  prominent. 

Dancing. — What  has  the  young  lady  to  do  with  hop- 
ping; after  her  marriage  a  few  months? 


MARKS  IN  A  YOUNG  WOMAN. 

I 
Ji 

1.  Honesty — but  here  custom  has  attached  more  to  the 
word,  than  when  applied  to  any  thing  else  or  the  opposite 
gfinder.  Hence  female  virtue  may  be  compared  to  a  Glass 
Bowl,  which  when  broken  cannot  be  efficiently  mended ! 
Therefore  let  all  my  young  innocent  Female  Readers 
take  good  care  both  of  SOUL  and  BODY  ! 

2.  An  even  disposition— for  when  I  go  to  an  house,  if 
the  Mistress  does  not  want  me  there,  she  has  it  purely  in 
her  power  to  let  me  know  it. 

3.  Grood  sense  improved— which  will  make  agreeable 
company,  and  involves  judicious  economy. 

4.  Good  religion  in  the  Heart. 

Let  Parents,  who  wish  their  Children  to  become  re- 
spectable here  and  happy  hereafter,  timely  begin,  first 
with  example  and  then  precept,  before  the  tender  twig — 
seeing  that  first  impressions  are  most  durable  and  lasting. 

Where  those  things  meet  in  one  pair,  so  as  to  concen- 
trate them  into  one  soul,— there  is  an  union  ;  an  indis- 
soluble union  in  time  and  in  eternity — if  they  are  faithful, 

"  Mountains  rise,  and  oceans  roll, 
Tp  sever  (such  in  vain !" 


OF  PETTICOAT  LAW, 


Marriage  has  been  considered  an  ecclesiastical  affaif. 
Hence  divorces  were  obtained  only  from  the  ecclesiastical 
Courts— except  by  "Common  Law." — i.  e.  The  poor 
being  unable  to  bear  the  expense  of  the  former  mode, 
(which  cost  nigh  to  a  thousand  pounds,  or  4,000  dollars,) 
by  consent  of  parties,  the  woman  with  a  halter  about  her 
neck,  is  lead  into  the  market,  where  she  is  put  up  at  auc- 
tion; and  goes  off  lo  the  highest  bidder;  who  is  generally 
known  beforehand.  This  being  the  com/mon  custom 
among  the  common  People  from  time  immemorial,  be- 
comes a  precedent  /  and  hence  a  "  Common  Law," — but 
she  is  not  bound  to  stay  with  the  man  who  bids  her  oft', 
but  by  her  own  consent ;  although  free  from  her  former 
husband. 

A  Fashionable  Lady,  judges  oi  personal  merit  by  the 
cut  of  his  dress,  his  ruffles,  ties  his  cravat  well,  wears  his 
hat  well,  has  a  fashionable  coat,  makes  a  graceful  bow, 
repeats  the  common  chit-chat  of  the  day,  in  an  agreeable 
manner,  it  is  enough.  He  is,  according  to  the  technical 
phrase,  a  genteel  man. 

If  he  has  other  qualifications  ;  they  are  of  too  little 
importance  to  be  taken  into  consideration.  If  he  has  not 
these^  no  other  merit  can  save  him  from  condemnation  and 
redicule. 

The  peace  of  a  family  depends  more  upon  the  woman, 
than  it  does  upon  the  man.  For  let  the  man  do  as  he 
may,  to  make  things  agreeable,— the  Lady  has  it  in  her 
power,  to  render  it  otherwise,  if  she  pleases.  And  if  he 
comes  home  drunk,  she,  if  so  minded,  can  and  will  find 
some  way  to  render  things  tolerably  agreeable  to  those 
around. 

The  Gentlemen  complained  of  the  Ladies'  fickleness 
in  love ;  they  accused  the  men  of  insincerity^  and  both 
partieb  with  much  wit  and  pleasantry,  threw  the  blame  of 


186  REFLECTIONS  ON 

all  mistakes  in  marriage  mutually  on  each  other.  Observ- 
ed Pollyanna,  We  complain  of  their  insincerity.  Are 
we  more  sincere  ?  do  not  we  act  as  much  disguised  as 
they,  who  find  us  frail  women,  instead  of  angels  ?  Di- 
vinities !  characters  we  foolishly  assume; — and  are  we 
pleased  unless  they  compliment  us,  lift  us  up  to  the  skies, 
and  pay  us  adoration  1 

Marks  to  Estimate  Real  Worth. 

1st.  Honesty.  2d,  Civility.  3d,  Industry.  4th.  Eco- 
nomy. 5th,  Humanity.  6th,  Even  Disposition.  7th, 
Good  Religion ! 

The  voice  of  whisper  reported  of  a  certain  pair,  who 
had  no  Heir  for  seven  years — The  man  made  a  certain 
proposition  to  a  neighbouring  Widow  Lady : — the  condi- 
tions of  which  were — that  he  should  come  in  the  dark, 
and  go  in  the  dark ;  bring  cloth  and  money,  &c.  The 
Widow  privately  informed  the  man's  wife  of  the  whole 
affair  with  the  arrangements  therewith  connected.  And 
it  was  agreed  that  the  ivife  should  occupy  the  bed,  &c. 
which  concerted  plan  succeeded.  Tap,  tap  at  the  window 
at  the  appointed  hour — is  admitted — fulfils  the  condition — 
retires  in  due  time. 

The  wife,  in  circumlocution,  arrives  home  in  season,  to 
make  all  appear  as  if  she  had  remained  at  home — but  at 
length  produces  the  booty  from  her  Friend — and  begins 
to  cut  the  cloth  for  garments ;  and  desires  her  husband  to 
accompany  her  to  the  store  to  buy  trimmings,  &c.  with 
the  money  in  her  hand,  received  from  a  friend! — 
His  feelings  and  cure  may  be  more  easily  imagined  than 
described  in  the  mind  of  fancy  !  What  was  the  result  1 
But  an  HEIR  in  due  time. 

Here,  then,  a  man  committed  adultery  with  his  own 
wife,  according  to  Natural,  Civil,  Ecclesiastical  and  Com- 
mon Law."  But  it  is  the  motive  which  gives  character 
to  the  action  ! 

Milton  intimates — When  the  sexes  were  equal,  the 
Lady  must  wander  from  the  man,  to  labour  alone ;  because 
he  thought  there  was  danger  in  disguise — and  being  to- 
gether, would  be  more  apt  to  be  on  their  guard  ;  but  she 
to  show  her  superiority  of  judgment  and  also  her  inde- 


MATRIMONY.  187 

pendence  by  wisdom  displayed,  would  have  a  separation 
of  work. 

And  falling  in  with  the  Tempter  in  disguise  began  a 
chat  then  a  taste  of  the  apple  ;  and  brought  it  to  the  man, 
who  yielded. 

But  on  perceiving  the  mischief  done,  seemed  to  blame 
the  man,  because  he  did  not  set  up  authority  and  forbid 
and  prevent  her  going. 

When  she  first  saw  the  man,  in  a  sitting  posture,  pre- 
tended, she  did  not  know  what  it  was — and  when  he  rose 
up,  she  pretended  to  be  much  affrighted  ;  and  ran,  appa- 
rently with  all  her  might : — but  still,  she  did  not  run  so 
fast,  but  what  she  intended  the  old  man  should  come  t^p 
with  her ! 

The  example  of  Rebecca,  to  obtain  the  blessing  for  her 
darling  son,  is  an  elucidation  of  female  nature  in  modern 
times. 

The  contrast  of  feeling  in  the  mother  of  Moses,  pa- 
rentally, for  his  preservation  ;  and  the  sympathy  in  the 
breast  of  Pharaoh's  daughter,  admits  of  reflection. 

The  request  of  Rachel  and  Hannah,  is  another  channel. 

The  contention  betwixt  Rachel  and  Leah.  The  con- 
duct of  Michael  (the  daughter  of  Saul,)  wife  to  David,  in 
a  fit  of  Jealousy,  forgetting  her  ow^n  conduct,  of  living 
with  another  man. 

The  conduct  of  Jael  and  Judith  by  deception  and  co- 
quetry— another  trait. 

That  of  Joseph's  Mistress  and  the  wife  of  Job,  exem- 
plify another  trait. 

Cleopatra,  the  dueen  of  Egypt,  outgeneraled  her  bro- 
ther, and  Julius  Csesar,  Mark  Anthony  and  Augustus,  in 
her  duplicity  and  intrigue,  by  skill  and  ability,  peculiar  to 
the  sex ;  for  they  will  out  do  and  outgeneral  the  men, 
nine  times  out  of  ten  when  they  are  bent  to  do  their 
prettiest,  best  and  worst ;  and  so  carry  their  point. 

Hence  when  they  are  bad — they  are  capable  of  plans 
and  schemes  that  man  would  never  think  of.  And  when 
they  are  good,  will  excel  the  very  best  of  men,  for  virtue, 
truth,  fidelity,  courage  and  patience  in  affliction ! 

Their  feelings  and  sensibility  are  more  exquisite ;  here 
then  love  and  attachment,  affection  and  sympathy,  exceed 
15 


188  REFLECTIONS  ON 

the  opposite  gender — and  so  does  their  disgust,  aversion, 
hatred  and  revenge ! 

The  three  pious  Maries,  excelled  the  Apostles  and  the 
Soldiers  too — by  continuing  with  Him  to  the  last ;  and 
were  the  first  at  the  Vault  while  it  was  dark,  under  awful 
circumstances,  which  made  the  soldiers  afraid. 

Buonaparte  said  he  was  never  conquered  until  in  the 
]>resence  of  the  queen  of  Prussia  ;  a  word  to  the  wise  is 
enough  ! 

A  Lady's  oath,  ^^  I  donH  choose  to.'''' 

The  CHARACTER  of  a  man  is  in  the  power  of  the 
woman  ;  secondly,  his  PROPERTY  is  in  the  power  of 
the  Woman  ;  thirdly,  the  LIBERTY  of  a  man  is  in  the 
power  of  the  woman  ;  fourthly,  his  LIFE  is  in  the  power 
of  the  woman ! 

For  the  WORD  and  OATH  of  the  Female,  in  point 
of  "  Commfin  Law;"  (i.  e.  Whisper,  Slander  and  Re- 
ports,) and  secondly  by  "Statute  Law,"  will  be  received 
and  believed  before  his.  Such  is  thr  ■[  nture  of  men  ;  and 
such  the  influence  of  Women  on  socieiy. 

Here  then  is  a  Compound  Law,  in  this  land,  proceed- 
ing from  natural  Law  and  Statute  Law,  which  may  involve 
the  Innocent,  without  a  reciprocity  or  a  possibility  of  re- 
dress or  an  escape. 

Thus  the  Petticoat  still  seems  to  govern  the  world ! 
And  it  is  done  according  to  Law  ! 

Enf="  But  if  there  was  a  "  Court  of  Women"  to  "  Try 
Women  ;"  would  it  not  be  better  for  men  ;  and  also  more 
fitted  to  keep  the  peace  of  families,  than  any  mode  now 
adopted  in  this  land  ? 

Yet  there  are  but  few  women,  but  what  would  choose 
to  have  an  appeal  from  the  jurisdiction  of  a  Female  Tri- 
bunal, to  that  of  Men  ;  rather  than  to  be  tried,  judged  and 
sentenced  by  their  own  sex ! 

But  supposing  they  do  choose?  Look  at  their  choice 
and  influence  in  the  ten  miles  square,  which  contains  two 
big  houses  and  three  cities. 

What  is  the  influence  of  Petticoats  there  ?  How  many 
leading  men  wait  on  the  wives  of  others  ?  Have  tl.eir 
minds  changed  by  female  art,  flattery,  and  intrigue,  who 
electioneer  and  gain  the  ascendency  in  the  company  of 


MATRIMOi\Y.  189 

Voters?  How  many  Laws  are  passed  different  than 
otherwise  would  have  been  !  Gained  and  Lost ! 

How  many  appointments  are  made  or  hindered  by  the 
influence  of  the  same. 

The  Balls  or  Levees,  Routes,  Masquerades,  Gambling, 
&c.  &c.  Time  spent  in  that  which  is  worse  than  bad  ! 
How  much  at  the  public  expense — 34  cents  the  hour ! 
How  many  hours  in  twenty-four,  for  the  Public,  in  a  sea- 
son ?  and  otherwise,  how  much  ? 

Let  the  visiting  stranger  in  the  City  and  District ;  say, 
by  calculation  mathematically,  and  answer  the  question  ! 

Quere,  Where  on  the  Continent  of  North  America,  is 
the  SINK  OF  INIGtUITY  ! 

tZ^  Let  the  House  of  God  be  cleansi:d  \ 


PARAPHRASE 


ON 


GENESIS  xLix.  10. 


BY  LORENZO  DOW. 


*'  The  sceptre  shall  not  depart  from  Jitdah,  nor  a 
Law-Giver  from  between  his  feet,  until  Shiloh 
COME :   and  unto  him   shall  the   gathering  of  the 

PEOPLE   Be!'^ 

Mant  are  the  opinions  concerning  the  text ;  and  some 
have  taken  ground  that  is  untenable.  Hence  one  may  be 
permitted  to  say  with  Elihu,  I  will  also  show  mine  opin- 
ion. 

First,  then,  What  is  a  sceptre  ?  By  reading  Esther's 
approach  to  the  Monarch,  and  viewing  the  kingly  monu- 
ments of  the  Old  World  ;  a  man  on  the  horse  in  statue, 
with  a  significant  roll  in  his  hand,  perhaps  made  of  cop- 
per ;  about  eighteen  inches  long  and  two  or  three  inches 
diameter ;  denoting  a  sway  of  POWER  in  the  superla- 
tive degree.  Hence  the  propriety  of  the  expression, 
"holding  the  sceptre." 

This  supreme  power  may  be  lodged  in  the  hands  of 
one,  few,  or  many  ;  as  is  now  exemplified  among  the  na- 
tions. America  has  come  nearer  the  standard  of' equal 
Rights  and  universal  Suffrage,  in  their  mode  of  economy  : 
and  also  in  limiting  and  apportioning  the  division  oi 
power,  than  any  other  people  hitherto  known  t 


PARAPHRASE,  &c.  191 

Jehovah,  himself,  was  the  "  Law-Giver"  of  the  ancient 
Patriarchs;  and  held  the  "Legislative"  prerogative  ac- 
cording to  the  Hebrew  economy.  But  the  "  Executive" 
and  "  Judicial"  authority  was  lodged  with  men. 

The  laws  of  adultery  and  murder  are  nearly  the  same 
among  most  nations  in  a  state  of  society — from  the  soli- 
tary ages  of  the  world ;  and  both  may  be  considered  to 
have  had  one  origin. 

The  Judicial  and  Executive  authority  lodged  in  the 
hand  of  a  Patriarch  was  transmitted  hereditary  from  the 
Father  to  the  eldest  son,  in  point  of  right  by  order  and 
succession. 

But,  nevertheless,  in  that,  there  was  exceptions  to  this 
rule  in  certain  cases  ;  so  that  the  prerogative  was  trans- 
ferred in  certain  cases  from  one  branch  of  the  family  to 
another ;  which  was  exemplified  in  the  case  of  Esau  and 
Jacob  ;  the  former  selling  his  "  hirthrighV^  to  the  latter. 
Also  by  right  of  succession,  Reuben  must  have  followed 
Jacob  in  point  of  order !  but  for  his  incestuous  behaviour, 
the  order  was  transferred  to  Joseph,  though  Judah  pre- 
vailed. Compare  1  Chron.  v.  1,  2.  Gen.  xlix.  3,  4. — 
Numbers  ii.  3,  4,  and  10,  14. 

Have  we  any  evidence  that  Judah  had  a  sceptre  in  a 
Judicial  and  Executive  point  of  view,  in  his  person  or 
tribe? 

Answer — he  had  :  First  in  his  person,  in  the  case  ol 
his  daughter-in-law,  who  was  accused  of  infidelity — by 
virtue  of  his  executive  and  judicial  authority,  commanding 
her  to  be  brought,  that  she  might  be  burnt.  But  her  inno- 
cence appearing,  she  was  acquitted.  Thus  he  possessed 
a  sceptre  in  his  person.  And  Jacob,  in  truth  and  with 
propriety,  could  say,  prophetically,  "  The  sceptre  shall 
not  depart  from  Judah." 

We  have  but  a  small  account  of  the  economy  or  state 
of  the  Hebrews  after  Jacob  uttered  this  prophecy,  for 
about  one  hundred  and  ninety-seven  years,  when  they 
came  out  of  Egypt. 

Here  permit  me  to  observe,  that  as  language  is  not  an 
innate  principle  of  nature ;  as  it  involves  ideas  which  are 
received  by  or  through  our  outer  senses,  or  communicated 
by  inspiration  to  the  inward  feeling  of  the  mind,  or  else 
by  the  moral  perception  are  digested  and  arranged  in  a 
15* 


192  PARAPHRASE,  &c 


judicious  way ;  and  the  communication  of  those  ideas, 
through  or  by  speech,  require  and  involves  the  art  of  man. 

The  first  man  was  an  adult  as  he  emanated  from  his 
Maker's  hand.  And  as  there  was  a  Law  given  him,  fit- 
ted to  his  capacity ;  which  circumstances  involtPfes  the 
idea  of  language ;  and  follows  as  a  consequence  that  the 
Maker  of  man  learnt  man  to  talk  ! 

The  Work  of  Creation  is  not  a  subject  of  knowledge, 
but  an  object  of  faith.  But  to  deny  the  doctrine  of  mira- 
cles, is  to  deny  the  work  of  creation  ;  if  nature  came  not 
by  nature,  but  by  an  act  of  Divine  Power.  And  to  deny 
the  work  of  creation,  is  to  deny  the  Creator ;  seeing  it 
must  be  the  act  which  constitutes  the  character  I  And 
hence  atheism  must  be  the  order  of  the  day. 

But  those  who  are  not  theoretically  atheists,  if  they 
are  practically  such,  must  admit  the  idea  of  a  God,  and 
infer  nature  from  Him!  And  that  the  first  man  should 
not  be  too  great  a  mystery  to  himself,  but  feel  the  force 
of  his  dependence  and  obligation  to  his  Creator  and  Go- 
vernor, it  may  be  admitted  with  propriety  that  God  com- 
municated to  man  what  had  happened  each  of  the  five 
preceding  days.  And  this  once  being  communicated,  he 
in  turn  might  communicate  to  another ;  and  so  hand  it 
down  by  tradition,  as  his  history  of  the  flood  is,  among  all 
the  heathen  nations ! 

What  is  obvious  to  sense,  is  a  subject  of  knowledge. 
And  what  a  man  knows,  he  is  able  to  give  a  rational  ac- 
count of.  And  what  Adam  passed  through  subsequent, 
must  have  been  experimental.  Of  course  he  would  be 
able  to  give  an  account  of  that,  in  relation  to  his  history 
of  the  fall,  &c.  This  being  admitted,  how  easy  could 
the  tradition  have  been  handed  down  to  the  time  of  Moses, 
when  letters  appeared  to  furnish  a  record. 

According  to  the  Mosaic  account,  Adam  lived  930 
years,  and  Methuselah  969,  (1899,)  and  died  the  year 
oefore  the  flood ;  which  happened  1658  from  the  Crea- 
tion ;  and  would  follow  as  a  consequence,  that  Adam  and 
Methuselah  must  have  been  cotemporary  about  243  years. 

Shem  was  cotemporary  with  Methuselah  98  years,  and 
with  Abraham  150  years,  and  with  Isaac  50.  Thus 
there  was  but  two  intermediate  persons  necessary  to  con- 


PARAPHRASE,  &c.  IQS 

nect  the  chain  of  tradition  from  Adam  to  Isaac,  a  period 
of  more  2000  years. 

Levi  was  tlie  great  grandfather  of  Moses ;  and  cotem- 
porary  with  his  own  grandfather,  Isaac,  a  number  of  years. 

As  ^confirmation  of  the  tradition  of  the  Work  of  Crea- 
tion being  not  merely  ideal  and  fabulous,  but  as  a  truth 
founded  on  fact,  God  himself  proclaimed  from  the  top  of 
Mount  Sinai,  in  the  hearing  of  600, 000  men,  besides  their 
women  and  children,  so  as  to  put  it  beyond  all  doubt  that 
it  was  no  imposition  on  the  mind,  but  must  have  been 
Jehovah  himself,  as  the  author.  And  then  delivered  two 
tables  of  stone,  containing  the  proclamation  of  the  ten 
commands,  embracing  a  short  account  of  the  work  of 
creation,  and  corroborates  the  same. 

Thus  we  are  indebted  to  God  for  the  origin  of  letters, 
as  well  as  for  the  origin  of  language. 

Man  being  formed  the  last,  and  probably  toward  or  at 
the  close  of  the  day — in  the  order  of  his  time,  he  would 
begin  his  reckoning  on  the  "  tSabbath,^^  which  would  be 
the  first  day  of  his  week ;  and  counting  over  six  days 
more  would  b?ing  to  another  Sabbath,  and  the  beginning 
of  another  week — hence  the  origin  of  the  first  day  of  the 
week  being  considered  and  regarded  as  the  Sabbath  by 
the  heathen. 

But  the  day  and  time,  for  the  beginning  of  the  week 
and  of  the  year,  was  altered  and  changed,  when  the  He- 
brews came  out  of  Egypt ;  and  would  corroborate  with 
the  old  theory. 

When  the  Hebrews  were  on  their  journey  from  Egypt 
to  Canaan,  the  tribe  of  Judah  led  on  the  van ;  according 
to  the  regulation  and  order  of  the  cantonment;  and  also 
was  the  most  numerous  and  powerful  of  the  whole. 

Man  to  teach  man  ;  as  means  in  the  hand  of  God. — 
When  Jethro,  Moses'  father-in-law,  came  to  view  the 
burden  which  devolved  on  Moses,  arising  from  the  dis- 
putes among  the  people,  he  recommended  minor  judges 
— over  tens,  fifties,  and  hundreds,  &c.  which  economy 
was  judiciously  adopted;  Exod.  xviii.  13  to  34,  &c. — 
Numb.  xi.  16.  Deut.  13,  14.  But  still  the  burthen  being 
to  great  for  Moses  to  bear,  he  besought  God  to  kill  him 
outright,  or  give  him  auxiliary  help. 

The  Lord  then  diiected  seventy  elders  to  be  elected  j 


194  PARAPHRASE,  &c. 

and  the  Lord  said  to  Moses,  "  I  will  take  of  the  spirit 
which  is  in  thee,  and  lay  it  upon  them" — which  when 
done,  they  prophesied;  sixty- eight  together,  but  two  re- 
mained in  the  camp.  And  Joshua,  being  zealous  for  the 
honour  of  Moses,  and  a  stickler  for  good  order^^an  to 
Moses,  requesting  him  to  rebuke  them  !  But  he  replied, 
as  every  good  man  should  do,  Would  to  God  that  all  the 
Lord's  People  were  prophets. 

Those  seventy  Elders,  of  which  Moses  was  the  Presi- 
dent, constituted  the  Sanhedrim,  or  Grand  Council,  or 
the  Highest  Court  among  the  Jews  ;  and  from  whose 
judgment  there  was  no  appeal,  when  issued  from  their 
tribunal. 

This  was  the  order  and  economy  of  God  in  the  Hebrew 
policy ;  and  of  which  order,  there  is  no  evidence  of  this 
being  abrogated,  or  made  null  and  void,  until  after  Jesus 
Christ  came  upon  the  earth. 

This  Council  acted  the  Executive  and  Judicial  part  in 
the  government  and  economy  of  the  Hebrews,  according 
to  that  law  given  to  them  by  their  Law-Giver,  who  was 
not  to  depart  from  them  until  '•  Shitoh''''  come ;  and  unto 
him  should  the  gathering  of  the  people  be. 

Some  people  have  confined  the  sceptre,  in  the  text,  to 
the  house  and  lineage  of  David  in  that  monarchical  power 
but  the  statement  is  founded  in  absurdity,  and  proves  too 
much. 

First.  The  monarchy  of  the  Hebrews  was  not  of  divine 
origin,  but  originated  in  the  will  of  man ;  which  may 
plainly  be  seen  by  the  Lord's  remonstrance  by  the  prophet 
Samuel. 

Secondly.  The  sceptre  of  David's  line  departed  when 
JZedekiah  was  carried  to  Babylon  ;  for  he  was  the  last. 

Thirdly.  If  the  Messiah  was  to  come  before  the  Ba- 
bylonish captivity,  no  one  can  tell  who,  or  where,  or 
whe^  he  was.     And 

Fourthly.  If  he  came  then  ;  it  would  follow,  as  a  con- 
sequence, that  all  who  came  afterward,  must  be  deemed 
as  impostors ;  and  would  involve  Jesus  Christ  in  the 
number. 

And  lastly.  It  Avould  thereby  null  our  Christ  and  his 
religion  ;  and  moreover  give  the  Jew -completely  the  ad- 
vantage in  argument.     And  hence  it  is  plain  that  the 


PARAPHRASE,  &c,  195 

ground  must  be  considered  as  altogether  untenable,  and 
improper  for  defence. 

Joshua  was  the  successor  of  Moses,  and  became  Presi- 
dent of  the  Council.  And  thus  the  scenes  in  the  time  of 
the  "  Judges. ^^ 

After  the  ten  tribes  separated,  they  were  called  Israel, 
and  established  the  worship  of  golden  calves,  in  imitation 
of  the  ox  god  of  Egypt.  And  by  this  act,  of  necessity, 
they  expelled  the  Jewish  policy,  and  neglect  the  govern- 
ment of  the  Sanhedrim,  which  of  course  must  be  confined 
to  the  tribe  of  Judah,  from  which  the  sceptre  should  not 
depart  until  Shiloh  come  ! 

About  the  time  that  monarchy  was  desired  and  set  up 
in  the  will  of  man,  a  bicifering  of  their  politics  gendered 
the  epithets,  and  was  the  beginning  of  that  distinction, 
"Israel"  and  "Judah  ;"  which,  after  the  third  monarchy, 
ended  in  becoming  two  nations  ;  and  may  be  characteris- 
tic of  those  times  in  which  we  live  ;  when  we  hear  the 
distinction  of  political  parties — F.  and  D. 

Though  the  Apocrypha  is  not  considered  canonical, 
yet  it  may  be  admitted  as  good  historical  evidence.  The 
case  of  the  Judges,  in  the  story  of  Susannah,  shows  the 
Judiciary  and  Executive  policy  to  have  existed,  and  been 
kept  up  among  the  Jews,  according  to  their  laws,  even  in 
the  time  of  the  captivity. 

Daniel  was  taken  captive  in  the  first  year  of  the  reign 
of  Nebuchadnezzer ;  and  in  the  second  year  Avas  promot- 
ed to  become  Prime  Minister — at  least  in  the  province 
of  Babylon,  as  chief  governor  and  ruler.  And  his  three 
companions  were  promoted  into  office  likewise.  And 
Daniel  continued,  not  only  the  reign  of  the  twenty-nine 
or  thirty  years  of  that  monarch,  but  also  beyond  the  time 
of  his  successor,  Evil-merodach,  king  of  Babylon,  and 
Belshazzar  likewise  ;  yea,  when  the  city  was  taken  by 
Darius,  and  an  hundred  and  twenty  princes  were  appoint- 
ed over  an  hundred  and  twenty  provinces,  who  were  to 
give  account  to  three  Presidents,  of  whom  Daniel  was 
chief;  which  shews  the  high  estimation  in  which  he  stood, 
and  also  the  authority  with  which  he  was  delegated  to 
act ;  which  continued  until  the  time  of  Cyrus  ;  when  the 
edict  was  issued  for  volunteers  to  return  to  Jerusalem  to 
rebuild  the  Temple. 


196  PARAPHRASE,  &c. 

Moreover,  it  must  be  plain  Irora  the  testimony  of  Ha- 
man,  in  the  book  of  Esther,  that  they  did  adhere  to  their 
own  laws  ;  the  complaint  that  he  entered  about  their  dif- 
ference and  conduct,  exemplifies  it  beyond  dispute.  And 
furthermore,  when  Mordecai  became  Prime  Minister  to 
the  Persian  empire,  which  extended  from  the  Ganges  to 
Abyssinia;  and  from  the  eastern  ocean  to  the  Mediter- 
ranean Sea,  over  an  hundred  and  twenty-seven  provinces, 
with  such  extensive  power ;  it  must  be  plain,  as  he  was  a 
Jew,  that  his  people  must  of  consequence  enjoy  their  laws 
and  rules. 

When  the  emigrants  went  up  to  Jerusalem  to  built  the 
House  of  GOD — they  had  authority  to  levy  fines,  inflict 
stripes,  confiscate  property,  and  also  to  execute  death  and 
banishment. 

Thus  the  Executive  and  Judicial  authority  was  in 
vogue.  And  Zerubbabel^  the  son  of  Salathiel,  (Matt.  1. 
12  Ezra,  ii.  2.  and  iii.  2,  8.)  was  President. 

And  if  we  examine  the  Grecian  history,  it  will  appear, 
that  when  Alexander  the  Great  was  determined  to  extir- 
pate them,  that  he  was  not  only  thwarted  by  a  change 
wrought  in  his  mind,  arising  from  the  appearance  of  the 
High  Priest  in  his  Pontificate  dress  -,  but  also,  he  estab- 
lished them  in  peculiar  privileges. 

And  when  Antiochus  would  have  overthrown  their 
mode  of  worship  by  his  persecution,  he  was  never  able 
fully  to  carry  the  same  into  effect ;  but  was  frustrated  by 
the  Maccabees  ;  who  so  far  maintained  independence,  so- 
cially, that  their  Laws  were  predominant  in  the  land  until 
the  time  of  the /?omj an  power  by  Pompey  ;  who  indulged 
them  in  their  privileges  and  opinions,  never  intruding  upon 
their  ecclessiastical  affairs. 

And  when  the  Wise  men  came  from  the  East,  inqiiir- 
ing  Where  is  he  that  is  born  King  of  the  Jews?  v/f  find 
Herod  alarmed;  who  demanded  of  the  Sanhedrim,  or  the 
Grand  Council,  where  it  was  written  or  foretold  he  should 
be  born  ?  Who,  on  examination,  replied  accordingly — 
Bethlehem  of  Judea. 

Thus  we  find  the  sceptre  had  not  departed  from  Judah 
until  Shiloh  come. 

"We  read  concerning  the  captain  of  the  Temple,  in  va- 
rious places — of  their  imprisoning  the  Apostles.      And 


PARAPHRASE,  &c.  197 


Pilate  said,  "  YE  have  a  guard."  After  setting  •'  watch 
to  keep  the  prison  with  all  safety ;"  arraigning  Stephen 
and  the  Apostles ;  took  counsel  to  put  them  to  death.  And 
Stephen  was  executed  according  to  the  law  form,  by  the 
"  witness;^  who  to  stone  him,  laid  down  their  clotnes  at  a 
young  man's  feet,  whose  name  was  Saul. 

Of  this  Council  was  Nicodevncs,  and  Joseph  of  Anmsi- 
thea,  who  consented  not  to  the  cruel  sentence. 

rsiicodemus  said,  we  (not  I)  know  that  thou  art  a  teach- 
er come  from  God'.  Hence,  when  they  accused  him  of 
casting  out  devils  by  Beelzebub,  they  spoke  wilfully 
against  a  better  knowledge;  and  thereby  committed  the 
unpardonable  sin  ;  by  blaspheming  the  Holy  Ghost — by 
affirming  it  was  diabolical  power. 

When  Paul  was  their  prisoner,  they  said,  "  We  would 
have  judged  him;"  but  was  prevented  by  the  military  of- 
ficer from  Rome. 

Thus  it  will  appear  that  they  did  consider  themselves 
a  body  politic,  and  adequate  t©  judge  and  execute  accord- 
ing to  the  law. 

Jesus  said,  "  They,  sit  in  Moses'  seat" — rwhich  shows 
that  the  seat  of  JMcses,  was  the  order  of  GOD. 

And  that  the  seat  was  not  yet  vacated,  but  still  in  force-: 
therefore  the  Mosaic  dispensation  Avas  not  abrogated.  And 
consequently,  the  words  of  the  text  may  be  considered  as 
strictly  true'— The  sceptre  shall  not  depart  from  Judah ; 
nor  a  Law-giver  from  between  his  feet,  until  Shiloh  come ; 
aiid  unto  him  shall  the  gathering  of  the  people  be. 

The  sceptre  did  not  depart  from  Judah  until  Shiloh 
came.  But  what  are  we  to  understand  by  the  Law-giver 
and  the  feet  ? 

In  the  image  Oi  Nebuchadnezzar,  we  find  the  Head  and 
Breast,  &.c.  to  refer  to  the  succession  of  the  different  em- 
pires, from  the  Babylonians  to  the  Medes  and  Persians, 
then  the  Greeks,  and  afterwards  the  Roman.  Therefore 
the  feet,  &c.  must  allude  to  the  latter  part,  or  that  which 
comes  after,  in  succession. 

GOD  was  the  Law-giver  to  the  Jews.  And  He  did 
not  forsake  them  until  Shiloh  come ;  but  nationally  he 
preserved  them,  until  our  Lord  drove  the  money-brokers 
out  of  the  Temple,  observing.  My  hovse,  you  have  made 
a  den  of  thieves.     And  as  he  retired,  he  wept,  with  this 


198  PARAPHRASE,  &c. 

lamentation — O  Jerusalem,  Jerusalem !  how  often  would 
I  have  gathered  you:,  and  ye  would  not — vour  house  is  left 
unto  you  desolate — ye  shall  not  see  me  henceforth,  until 
ye  shall  say,  blessed  is  he  that  cometh  in  the  name  of  the 
Lord — as  the  others  had  done  just  before,  when  he  rode 
into  the  city. 

The  Sanhedrim  said,  see  how  ye  prevail  nothing ;  be- 
hold the  world  is  gone  after  him — and  if  we  let  him  thus 
alone,  the  Romans  will  come  and  take  away  both  OUR 
place  and  NATION.  Thus  they  viewed  their  place,  in 
the  possessive  case,  in  a  national  point  of  view.  And 
therefore  our  Lord,  in  his  parables,  frequently  pointed 
out  their  standing  in  a  national  capacity,  and  what  must 
follow  as  the  conseqence  of  sin :  and  styled  the  temple, 
"  YOUR  HOUSE,  is  left  unto  you  desolate" — forsaken  by  the 
"  Law-giver^^^  the  Great  GOD  !  because  they  rejected 
the  wise  men  with  the  prophets ;  and  morever,  His  only 
Son! 

The  Jeet  with  propriety  may  be  considered  as  relating 
to  the  two  tribes,  Judah  and  Benjamin.  The  temple  was 
on  the  borders,  where  the  line  ran;  and  hence  the  word, 
"  between,"  is  admissible. 

The  Council  at  length,  from  punishing  the  innocent, 
and  desiring  a  Barrabas,  suffered  vice  to  go  unpunished, 
until  iniquity  became  so  prominent,  that  they  dare  not 
restrain  it,  by  the  infliction  of  punishment,  lest  they  should 
be  assassinated  by  the  banditti,  whose  actions  came  to  an 
unparalleled  height. 

And  by  virtue  of  this  breach  of  trusty  they  were  account- 
able for  their  infidelity  ;  and  being  conscious  of  their  re- 
sponsibility, while  in  council  assembled. 

The  query  arose.  Why  sit  we  here  ?  Arise  and  let  us 
go  hence  !  Thus  they  voluntarily  dissolved  themselves ; 
and  they  have  had  no  such  Council  since :  until  Napo- 
leon set  up  the  Mock  Council  in  France,  in  1806. 

Moses  told  the  Hebrews,  Deut.  xxviii.  The  conse- 
quence of  obedience  to  the  law  by  the  Law-giver.  And 
on  the  other  side,  the  consequence  of  obedience,  as  the 
retribution  from  the  same  Law-giver,  that  they  should  be 
scattered  among  all  nations,  where  they  should  be  hissed 
at  and  despised. 


PARAPHRASE,  &c.  199 

Thus  for  near  two  thousand  years  we  find  thenl  to  ex- 
emplify what  Moses  had  foretold  of  old. 

There  is  not  a  nation  in  Europe,  called  Christians,  but 
what  have  special  laws  against  the  Hebrews,  to  curtail 
their  privileges;  not  even  suffering  them  to  be  landhold- 
ers, unless  they  will  renounce  their  religion,  or  nominally 
profess  Christianity;  yea,  they  are  not  admitted  as  citi- 
zens, nor  owned  as  subjects,  but  are  viewed  as  vagrants, 
or  considered  as  aliens^  throughout  the  whole  world,  ex- 
cept the  United  States.  And  the  "Holy  City  will  be 
trodden  down  of  the  Gentiles  forty  and  two  months.^* — 
"  Till  the  fulness  of  the  Gentiles  be  come  in."*  But 
when  the  Hebrews  acknowledge  the  Shiloh,  saying, 
"Blessed  be  he  that  cometh  in  the  name  of  the  Lord." — 
Then  those  judgments  which  were  inflicted,  on  them  for 
their  disobedience,  will  be  taken  ofl'them,  and  laid  upon 


♦  Whoever  will  compare  the  8th.  9th.  10th  and  11th  chapters  of  the 
Romans,  will  perceive  the  Apostle  was  speaking  of  the  Jews  and 
Gentiles,  ir  the  order  and  succession  of  the  Gospel  in  the  militant 
state. 

And  the  9th  chapter,  10th  to  13th  verses  of  Romans,  when  com- 
pared with  Genesis,  xxv.  23.  2  Sum.  viii  14.  1  Chron,  xviii.  12, 
13.  Malichi,  i.  1  to  3.  will  plainly  perceive  that  those  words  were 
applicable  NATIOJNALLV,  and  no  how  else  :  and  to  apply  it  other- 
wise, is  a  plain  perversion  of  the  text. 

Again,  Heb.  xi.  20.  Genesis  xxvii.  30  to  40.  2  Chron.  xxi.  10, 
will  see  it  must  be  understood  nationally,  and  NOT  personally.  See 
Deut  ii.  4  to  8.  Also  Rom  ix.  21,  &c.  to  Jeremiah  xviii,  2  to  10 
&c. 

Thus  what  is  spoken  nationally  should  be  applied  only  nationally 
to  prevent  confusion — and  the  letters  "  I.  F."  and  "  E.  T.  H."  should 
not  be  forgotten  when  applied  personally,  when  found  in  the  good 
Book. 

National  sins  being  punished  nationally,  it  must  be  done  here,  (as 
exemplified  in  the  case  and  state  of  the  Jews;)  seeing  it  cannot  be 
done  here." fter;  as  there  will  be  no  human  dynasties  there.  Hence, 
in  the  day  of  judgment,  mankind  must  be  judged  personally,  and 
rewarded  individually — each  according  to  his  deeds  done  in  the 
body. 

And  as  the  capacities,  ages  and  circumstances  of  mankind  are  so 
various,  and  the  improvements  also ;  so  will  be  the  reward  apportioned 
accordhigly. 

Thus  those  premises  being  admitted,  we  can  justify  the  ways  of 
God  to  man,  here,  in  the  rise  and  fall  of  kingdoms  and  empires :  and 
evenwliy  MxhommsdciniBm  was  suffered  to  supplant  Ciiristianity, 
16 


200  PARAPHRASE,  &c. 

those  who  were  their  oppressors  j  but  the  United  States 
will  escape ! 

And  unto  him  shall  the  gathering  of  the  people  be^ 

The  first  of  the  gathering,  was  the  Jewish  Shepherds  ; 
who  were  directed  by  the  Angel  who  proclaimed  peace  on 
earth,  and  good  will  to  men — a  Saviour  born,  who  should 
be  glad  tidings  of  great  joy  to  ALL  people. 

The  second,  was  the  icisemen  from  the  East.  Accord- 
ing to  Buchanan,  by  tradition,  they  were  from  Hindostan : 
directed  West  in  quest  of  a  remarkable  personage  Avho 
was  to  enlighten  the  human  family.  Thus  geographi- 
cally the  accounts  correspond. 

Herod  sought  to  destroy  the  young  child,  fearing  he 
would,  as  a  rival,  prevent  the  succession  of  the  throne 
hereditary  in  his  family ;  who  at  this  time,  held  a  kind  of 
delegated  kingly  power,  subordinate  to  Augustus  Cccsar. 

Augustus  had  designed  to  tax  the  Roman  empire  about 
twenty-seven  years  before  he  brought  it  to  bear ;  and  the 
place  of  enrolment  brought  Joseph  and  Mary  to  Bethlehem  ; 
and  so  the  prophecy  was  fulfilled  by  the  overruling  Provi- 
dence of  God  in  the  concerns  of  mortals. 

Fourteen  thousand  four  hundred  children  were  slain, 
according  to  accounts ;  yet  the  Child  Jesus  was  preserved 
from  the  designs  of  that  v/icked  man.  First  by  the  Angel^ 
warning  the  Wise  Men  not  to  return  to  Herod  ;  and  then 
warning  Joseph  to  retire  with  the  young  child  and  his 
mother  to  the  land  of  Egypt ;  until  he  should  have  word 
by  that  visitor  to  return ;  which  followed  soon  after. 

For  on  the  eighth  day  was  the  circumcision ;  and  in 
thirty -three  more  days  she  was  to  offer  the  turtle-doves, 


in  the  East.  First,  Mahommedanism  admits  of  no  idolatry  ;  and  se- 
condly, is  not  s?  intolerable  as  corrupt  Christianity  when  degenerated. 

And  also,  on  tlie  same  plan,  the  world  of  mankind  can  be  judged  in 
the  great  day,  in  righteousness  and  justice;  seeing  the  obligation  is 
in  proportion  to  the  talents  given  ;  and  the  reward  of  grace  to  the 
obedient,  and  the  punishment  of  vice  apportioned  to  the  crime. 

For  there  are  two  ways,  two  states,  and  two  characters,  and  here- 
after two  «ondition3,  i.  e.  Happy  and  Miserable !  Now,  Reader,  life 
z  nd  death!  the  narrow  way  and  the  broadway  !  wliich  will  you  choose 
and  pursue  1  Look,  see,  and  make  up  your  mind.  For  the  wages  of 
sia  is  death !  But  eternal  life  jb  the  gift  of  God,  through  Jesus  Christ 
our  Lord 


DOW'S  FAMILY  MEDICINE. 


This  medicine  has  been  found  of  general  utility  and 
efficacy  in  all  those  disorders  called  Biliousj  and  affections 
of  the  liver,  exceeding  common  credibility — even  in  many 
cases  wherein  repeated  courses  of  mercurials  had  been  used 
in  vain ! 

The  dose  of  it  may  be  from  one  tea  spoonful  mixed 
with  sugar  and  water  for  an  infant,  to  eight  or  ten  tea 
spoonsful  in  a  tumbler  or  half  pint  of  cold  or  warm 
water  for  a  grown  person.  In  acute  cases — the  middling 
dose  for  an  adult  is  two  large  table  spoonsful  in  a  tumbler 
or  cup  of  water,  every  two  or  three  hours,  until  it  operates 
freely,  and  considerable  relief  is  obtained  j  and  then  at 
longer  intervals. 

The. general  times  of  giving  it  in  chronic  diseases,  or 
of  long  continuance,  is  three  times  a  day,  viz.  morning, 
noon,  and  night,  increasing  or  diminishing  the  dose  so  as 
to  agree  best  with  the  constitution  of  the  patient ;  and  to 
operate  moderately  from  two  to  four  times  in  the  twenty- 
four  hours  for  several  days. 

In  costive  habits  a  corrective,  and  in  dysentery  a  speedy 
relief  has  been  obtained  by  many  who  have  used  it  in 
New  England. 

LORENZO  DOW. 
New  York,  June  1,  1833. 
Sold  hy  John  WUcoXi  ^enr.  Comb  Maker,  86  Bowery, 


TO  THE  AFFLICTED. 


Wcy  t}vt  Subscribers,  having  made  a  free  use  {in  our 
own  families)  of 

LORENZO  B>OW'S(Uc!S.  Patent.) 

FAMILY  MEDICINE. 

Dj  certify,  That  it  is  very  gentle  and  sure  in  its  opera- 
lion  as  a  cathartic,  and  that  it  possesses  a  peculiar  qua- 
lity to  remove  obstructions  in  the  stomach  and  bowels, 
and  in  carrying  off  bad  humours.  And  that  it  is  well 
adapted  to  females  in  a  debilitated  or  declining  state, 
forasmuch  as  it  does  not  weaken  the  patient,  (although 
taken  frequently,)  but  restores  the  stomach  to  a  proper 
tone  by  assisting  the  digestion,  and  thereby  exciting 
the  appetite,  &c. 

(Signed,)    PETER  GRIFFIN,  ministers   of 

DANIEL  BURROUGHS,  5  the  Gospel. 

WM.  C.  BOON, 

JOSEPH  BRIDGMAN, 

DAVID  CHAPMAN, 

SAMUEL  SHEPARD, 

JONATHAN  PAGE. 
Hebron,  Sept.  8th,  1819. 

I  CERTIFY,  That  the  subscribers  to  the  within 
certificate  of  recommendation,  are  all  respectable  inhabi- 
tants of  the  town  of  Hebron. 

SYLVESTER  GILBERT,  Judge  of  Count  jrCourt. 

Hebron,  Sept.  I5th,  1819. 

irf-  To  be  had  "  GENUINE,"  of  George  W.  Hal- 
ler.  High  st.  Georgetown,  and  Thomas  Jacobs,  King  st. 
Alexandria,  D.  C. 


